by Janice Lynn
“What do you expect of me?” Did she want him to propose? To give their child legitimacy?
She blinked. “Expect of you?”
“What do you want me to do, Darby? Marry you? Agree to support you financially?” Blake’s throat tightened, his hands sweated, his heart pounded. “Tell me what you expect of me and how all this makes you feel so I know what I need to do.”
Was Blake kidding? Darby stared at the man leaning on his desk and wondered if she’d ever known him at all. Had he really just asked what she expected of him? How she felt about being pregnant?
“Nothing.” She wished she had something to throw at him. Something hard. And sharp. Her gaze landed on the stress relief ball. That soft little thing wouldn’t begin to relieve the stress mounting inside her. Not even if the ball smacked him square between the eyes. “I don’t expect anything from you.”
“Every woman expects something from the man who’s gotten her pregnant.”
“You’ve already done more than enough.”
“It’s too late to point fingers, Darby. I take full responsibility. I know your baby’s mine.”
She hadn’t even considered that he might think other wise, so his comment stung even more.
She pressed her fingertip to her throbbing temple, hoping to calm the wild pulse hammering there. “You want to know how I feel? What I expect? I don’t know, Blake. I only just did the test, and I don’t know how I feel about any of this.”
“You missed your period? That’s why you did the test?” Give Sherlock a cookie.
“I’m a week late.” She glanced at him, tried not to wince at the tight lines of his face. How could he look so familiar, and yet so alien at the same time? “I kept telling myself stress was causing my missed cycle, but…”
“It wasn’t.”
She dug in her purse, pulled out the plastic kit from where she’d slid it inside the wrapper, and handed the confirmation of her suspicions to him.
“No.”
Blake studied the plastic wand with eyes darker than she recalled ever seeing them. So dark they paled the night sky.
“You’re pregnant.”
Yes, they’d already established that.
Her legs growing weak beneath her, she sat down on the edge of his desk, next to him.
“I’m pregnant.”
The rest of Blake’s evening passed in a blur.
No wonder.
He was going to be a father.
How had that happened?
He knew how that had happened, just… Blake knocked on Darby’s front door, wishing she’d hurry and let him into the apartment she’d lived in since they were in medical school.
An apartment that wouldn’t be big enough for her and a baby.
She’d need more space—a place with a yard big enough for a swing and a sandbox.
When she opened the door, his heart lurched at her red-rimmed, swollen eyes. All day he’d been caught up in his own feelings about Darby’s news. He’d asked how she felt, but truth was he’d asked in regard to how her feelings affected him.
How could he have been so callous?
“You’ve been crying.”
Emitting a low sniffle, she rolled her puffy eyes at him. “So? Pregnant women cry.”
He supposed they did.
“Are you going to invite me in?”
Sighing, she stepped back, waited for him to enter the apartment, then shut the door.
He sat down on her living room sofa, looking around for something to focus on besides the woman he wanted to take into his arms and promise it would all be all right. Somehow.
“You said you wanted to come by so we could talk,” she reminded him. “I don’t know what to say, Blake, so you’re going to have to do the talking.”
He didn’t know where to start.
“I’m sorry I put you in this position.”
She didn’t glance at him, just sank onto an overstuffed chair at the far end of the sofa and curled her legs beneath her. “You weren’t the only one in that hotel room. My getting pregnant took both of us.”
That it had. Blake vividly recalled just what the two of them had done to get her pregnant, was haunted by the memories every time he closed his eyes, every time he saw her.
“We can’t change the past.”
“No,” he agreed, wondering when talking to Darby had gotten so difficult, when he’d gotten self-conscious of each word. Of course he knew the precise moment. When they’d become lovers. He ached for his easy relationship with Darby, ached for what he’d lost in her friendship, her partnership. But she was right. They couldn’t change the past. “Which leaves us trying to make the best of the future.”
Her head lowered to her hands. “Agreed.”
“I know you got upset when I asked this earlier, but my question was a legitimate one.” He moved to the end of the sofa closest to her, reached for her hand, but she jerked away, shaking her head rapidly back and forth.
Trying to convince himself that Darby’s rejection wasn’t the cause of the sharp pain slashing across his chest, Blake sighed. “Tell me what you want, Darby?”
What did she want? Darby wondered.
“I want us to go back to the way we were,” she admitted, surprised at her candor, but figuring at this point she had nothing to lose. She’d already lost the best thing in her life, the thing she’d had for years yet hadn’t had at all—him. “I miss my partner and friend.”
He nodded as if he understood. “I’ve missed you, too.”
He had? “Have you? I haven’t gotten that impression these past few weeks.”
“Our friendship and business relationship was special to me. I hate that we let sex come between that.”
Friendship. Business relationship. Sex.
Darby winced.
“Our relationship won’t ever be the same, Darby. No matter how hard we try, we can’t go back to how things were.”
Perhaps she’d said the wrong thing. Because she really didn’t want what they’d had before. She wanted what she’d had in Alabama. She wanted Blake to be in love with her. For real.
She wanted to look into his eyes and see desire and love for her.
She wanted him to feel the same about her as she felt about him.
Because she was in love with Blake.
“I don’t want to go back to how things were.”
His brow arched. “You don’t? But didn’t you just say…?”
She shook her head. “I thought that was what I wanted, but I want more.”
Eyes narrowed, Blake worked his throat, gulped. “More?”
So much had happened in the past few hours that it probably wasn’t wise to make grand life decisions, but Darby did. In her heart she knew she was making the right choice.
“I want to sell my half of the clinic to you, Blake. I’m going home.”
“No.” Steely determination shone in his eyes.
Darby frowned. “What do you mean, no? No, you don’t want to buy my half of the clinic?” She shrugged. “Fine. I’ll find another doctor to buy my half out. Our business contract reads that we have to offer each other first option, so that’s what I was doing.”
“I’m not buying your half of the clinic because you aren’t selling.” His tone brooked no argument.
Not quite believing his reaction, Darby stared at him, more determined than ever that she was making the right choice for her and the baby. “Actually, I am. I’m going home.”
“Knoxville is your home.”
“No,” she sighed. “It’s not. I belong in Armadillo Lake. They need a doctor.”
“You don’t belong there. You blackmailed me into going to your high school reunion so you wouldn’t have to go there alone.”
“I was an immature young girl who held on to her hurt way too long and let those hurts influence life decisions in ways I shouldn’t have.”
“What about me?”
He’d been the main reason she’d stayed in Knoxville. She’d wanted
to be near him. Still, there was more to think about than her or Blake. She had to consider what was right for their baby.
“What about you?”
Good question. One Blake didn’t have an answer to. He didn’t have answers to anything. Just knew that he didn’t want Darby to leave Knoxville.
Didn’t want her to leave him.
She might not feel she belonged here, but Blake did. For the first time in his life he belonged somewhere, truly felt at home.
Darby couldn’t just rip that feeling all to pieces.
He wouldn’t let her.
“I have rights, too, you know.”
Her forehead wrinkled. “Rights?”
“Regarding your pregnancy. Moving doesn’t just affect you. Where you live affects me and my relationship with our child.”
Darby’s mouth dropped. “I wouldn’t stop you from seeing our baby. You should know that, Blake.”
“Should I?” Pain at the thought of his world being ripped apart clouded his judgement and he lashed out. “How do I know you aren’t moving home to pick things up with Nix? That you aren’t hoping he’ll step in and play house with you and my baby? Is that what you’ve been doing in Alabama while I’ve covered your patients? Did you see him?”
Darby blinked. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No.”
“I have talked to Trey since that weekend, but not in the manner you’re implying.”
“Since the weekend you became pregnant with my baby, you mean?”
She gave him a stubborn look. “Yes, the weekend of the reunion.”
“And Mandy? Have you talked to her?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“We’ve made our peace. You know that. You were at the hospital that afternoon, with her and Trey.”
“Yes, I was,” he snarled.
She stared at him. “What is wrong with you? Trey and Mandy are dating again. I’m happy for them. Their being together is how it should have been all along.” She frowned. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were jealous.”
“Good thing you do know better.”
“Yes, it is.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to argue with you, but I am going to sell my half of the clinic. If you want to buy me out, fine. If not, I’d love to say I’ll just walk away, but I’ll need the funds to start my life in Alabama.”
Funds? She really had no idea as to his wealth, did she? Wealth any child of Blake’s would be entitled to. Darby would never have to work another day if she chose not to.
“You’re really going to leave me? On the day you discover you’re pregnant with my baby, you’re announcing you want me to buy your half of our life together so you can move six hours away?”
She didn’t wince, didn’t show the slightest remorse, just held his gaze. “I am.”
“You believe that’s fair to me?”
“I have to think about what’s best for me and for our baby. My going home to Armadillo Lake is what’s best.”
“Why?”
“Because my family is there, and it’s where I was meant to be. I’d forgotten that for a while, but a memory lapse doesn’t make the truth any less true.”
“You were meant to be with me.”
At her surprised look, he added, “In Knoxville, at our clinic. We have a good thing, Darby. A good practice.”
“It hasn’t been good since we slept together, and you know it. You can barely tolerate looking at me.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is,” she accused, standing up from her chair and pacing across her living room. She spun toward him, her eyes as accusing as her tone. “You’ve been avoiding me ever since we slept together, and I can’t stand it.”
“That’s why you want to move? To punish me for sleeping with you?”
“That’s not what I said, Blake. I don’t want to punish you. I just can’t deal with the way things are between us now.”
“Because we ruined everything when we had sex?”
“Apparently so.” She folded her arms across her chest. “It certainly hasn’t made things better between us.”
No, that weekend had caused the foundation of their relationship to crumble, and now his world was crashing around him.
“What is it you want between us, Darby? What is it you expected after that weekend?”
“I told you, Blake, I don’t expect anything from you.”
“Apparently you do—or at least you did. Otherwise you wouldn’t be leaving me.” As he said the words out loud, their validity reverberated through him. She had expected something from him, something he’d failed to deliver.
“You’re twisting my words. I’m not leaving you.”
“How can you say that? You’re walking away from everything we have together.”
“Not everything, Blake.” She placed her hand over her belly. “There’s one thing we have together that I won’t ever walk away from. You can count on it.”
His gaze dropped to her belly and the blood drained from his face. Darby was going to have his baby, but she didn’t want him in her life, didn’t want to be a family with him.
And then it hit him. Darby had taken him to Armadillo Lake prepared to have sex. She’d had new lingerie, a full box of condoms. Perhaps she’d already gotten what she wanted from him? “Did you get pregnant on purpose?”
“What? How can you say that? We used condoms.”
“Some of them you bought. Did you tamper with them?”
Her eyes widened with a mixture of disbelief and anger. “Are you serious? Why would I do that?”
Hurt at her rejection of him egged him on. “No doubt a lot of women would like to reap the benefits of having my baby.”
Her eyes flashed with anger. “You arrogant son of a—”
“Fine. I know you didn’t get pregnant intentionally.” Blake had had enough. He’d known sleeping with Darby had been a mistake, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself. Now she wanted to cut him out of her life. “If you want to leave, I’ll make it simple. Have a contract drawn up for your half of the clinic and I’ll sign it. You want to take my baby far away from me—fine. I won’t stop you. But expect to hear from my lawyer, because I will play a role in my child’s life.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
DARBY placed the last of her books into the packing crate. She couldn’t believe how quickly the past month had gone by. Yet with the anger and hurt between her and Blake, each minute had also dragged by.
True to his word, he had signed the contract her lawyer had drawn up. She was no longer a partner in their clinic. She was no longer anything to him.
No, not true. She was the mother of his unborn child.
They’d always have that connection. Always.
A tear ran down her cheek.
Although moving home was the right thing for so many reasons, leaving Knoxville wasn’t easy. When the movers had crated up the contents of her apartment that morning she’d burst into tears. She’d cried until her chest throbbed. She’d left to finish at the office, because she hadn’t been able to watch them empty her apartment.
Because her heart had been breaking.
Home is where the heart is.
Her heart was with Blake.
If he’d loved her she would have stayed in Knoxville forever, would have gone wherever he was and been happy.
But he didn’t love her.
As she had no choice, she accepted that. But if making him love her were possible, she’d fight for Blake’s heart to her dying breath.
For all eternity.
“I can’t believe you’re really going.”
Darby’s gaze shot to the doorway. “Blake.”
She swiped at her eyes, hoping he hadn’t caught the waterworks. “How long have you been standing there?”
Had he come to start yet another fight with her? It seemed as if that was all they did on the few occasions they actually spoke.
God, he looked good, in his black pants and cri
sp white polo. Then again, when didn’t he look good?
“Long enough to think you’re not as confident about this move as you’ve let on. It’s not too late to change your mind.”
She took a deep breath, steeling herself for his verbal attack. “Being sad at saying goodbye doesn’t make me any less confident that I’ve made the right decision.”
He pushed off the doorframe, stepped into the office, and closed the door behind him.
Darby swallowed. She wasn’t sure she was strong enough to deal with another fight between them. Not now, in her last minutes at the clinic.
“I don’t want you to go, Darby.”
If she’d thought she wasn’t strong enough for an argument, she certainly wasn’t strong enough to deal with his soft admission.
She took a step back. “We’ve been through this.”
“But perhaps we haven’t said the right things.”
Hope lifted high in her chest. “What right things?”
If he asked her to stay, to be a family, told her he loved her, she’d throw her arms around him and stay forever.
“You’re a part of my life, Darby. A good part that I don’t want to let go.”
“Blake, two months have gone by and you’ve barely acknowledged my existence.” Two months in which her heart had broken at every wayward glance, at every smile not returned.
“I’ve been aware of you every moment of every day. How could I not be?” he asked, moving closer. “You’re carrying my child.”
The baby. That was why he was here. Why he was looking at her with such longing. Question was, what motivated him? Actual concern for their child, or guilt that he was washing his hands of her and their baby?
“Regardless of where I am, I’ll still be carrying your child, Blake. Location doesn’t change that.”
His lips pursed with displeasure. “Location changes everything.”
Location wouldn’t change her feelings for him, but perhaps not having to see him on a daily basis would make dealing with the shattered pieces of her heart slightly easier.
She doubted it, though.
“You know where to find me, Blake.” She quit backing up, faced him. “You’ve always known where to find me. You’ve just never cared to look. Not at me. Not really.”