No one had an answer, which is the very nature of a rhetorical question.
As the seconds ticked by in silence, Bl’azzz voiced the most salient question. “If they’re so dangerous, how did they become prisoners on the Ark?”
Serenity looked at Jax’x who nodded her appreciation. “Great question, Hot Lips. Well done.”
“Why do you always seem surprised whenever I make a contribution?”
“Ummm . . .”
Jax’x piled on. “We’re all listening, Sparky. Why is that?”
“Ummm . . .”
“Enough. Let’s give her till tomorrow to formulate an apology. I’za, can you answer Bl’azzz’s question?”
“Perhaps indirectly. Rumor has it that the Klat and the Ephemeral are archenemies. We should ask Waldo . . . maybe he can shed light on it.” That raised some eyebrows.
“Egg, incoming call. It’s Soo returning our call.”
“On screen.”
“Hi, guys. There’s nothing new to report.” Then the serpent noticed Egg. “I’m so, so sorry Egg. I wish I was there to give you a hug.”
“Thanks. I’ll take a hug from you anytime. But, not for that reason.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Soo, when I talked with Benny and he told me the ship was about to explode, I didn’t get any goose bumps.” Egg was hoping that the serpent understood the importance of that statement without having to explain it.
“Are you sure? Maybe you got them but didn’t notice because you were too upset.” She did understand.
“Jax’x said the same thing. But I forgot to tell her that J’azzz-min reminded me that I didn’t get them.” Since this was new – and definitely nutty - news, the other girls turned to stare.
“Egg, did you say J’azzz-min told you?” Syl held her breath afraid that her friend had completely lost her mind.
“Yes. The obnoxious cat with that stupid purple hat. The one and only J’azzz-min.”
Syl put her hands over her mouth; Bl’azzz scrunched her face in disbelief; Bree and Serenity dropped their heads to avoid eye contact with their friend. The others weren’t overly familiar with the insufferable cat from the Seven Lands so they didn’t react.
The serpent on the screen looked nervously left then right at her other sisters. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say?”
It was obvious to Jax’x and I’za that something was wrong though they had no idea what it might be. Apparently it had to do with a cat – whatever that was. I’za felt compelled to ask, “I apologize for interrupting but I am unfamiliar with this reference. Is Jazzman a friend of the sisterhood?”
“J’azzz-min was a cat – that’s a four legged mammal common on earth and kept as a house pet,” explained Sylvia.
“She was also the Queen’s grandmother,” added Egg.
This time it was Jax’x who asked, “I’m sorry – what?”
“J’azzz-min is Meggy’s grandmother.”
You could loosely translate Jax’x and I’za’s thoughts as ‘Holy Klat on a Kracker’. Syl tried to explain. “When Mobius ruled Aerianna, he turned all the Royals into various creatures. Meggy’s grandmother was turned into a cat and she helped guide us through the Seven Lands that guarded the Crystal Mountain. That’s where Mobius kept Meggy’s mother’s body.”
Yeah, that sounded just as weird as you might expect.
“Sorry,” said I’za. “I did not understand a word of that.”
“Doesn’t matter. The only thing that’s important is that J’azzz-min helped me remember that I had no goose bumps.”
Bree asked, “Egg, she didn’t actually visit you, did she?” She certainly hoped not.
“Of course she didn’t visit me. Well, technically she did but that was in a dream. Why are you people having such a hard time with this?”
The others were afraid to tell their friend that she was certifiably insane. Bl’azzz on the other hand had a change of heart. “I’m with Egg. Queen Kat’Alynnia passed away almost three years ago. Why shouldn’t her spirit visit Egg?”
“If it really was the Queen, why would she appear as the cat and not herself?” asked Bree.
That seemed to stump everyone until Syl ventured a guess. “We never dealt with the Queen when she wasn’t J’azzz-min. In fact, right after King M’earth abdicated in favor of Dazzle, the two of them went into a self-imposed exile. We only met her briefly at the coronation and again at Dazzle’s wedding.”
Well, that seemed reasonable . . . so much so that Soo was convinced. It didn’t hurt that she, like everyone else, was looking for something – anything – to give her hope. “Egg-o, that’s wonderful. Now all you have to do is find him. I’m guessing that you think the bad guys captured him when they got his crew?”
“It’s either that or he’s in his command center meandering around the debris field that was once his ship. That doesn’t seem likely.”
“So what do you want me to do?”
“Tell Meggy and have her tell her parents.”
“I will if you want. But Egg, don’t you think you should do that yourself?”
The girl instinctively looked to her Feminion for advice. “She’s right.”
The reason Egg hesitated was that she knew that explaining the goose bump thing was going to be difficult if not impossible. There was no basis in science to the whole phenomena. It even defied statistics – the odds of it always being right seemed improbable if not impossible. “Let’s do this. I’ll talk to Meggy first. If I can convince her, then she can work on her parents. If I can’t, then there’s no reason to upset Dazzle or Lord Z’kkk.” Again she looked at Sylvia; and again the girl agreed – this time with a nod and a smile.
“Okay then. One of us will call you back in about a half hour.”
“Thanks, Soo.”
“Egg . . . don’t take this the wrong way but I hope you’re right. If the family has to re-live his death again, that would be too cruel. I absolutely include you as one of that family.”
“Thanks, sister,” she said solemnly. Then she brightened and added, “Benny asked me to marry him and I said yes. That means you’re going to be one of the bridesmaids. When you call Ashley to give her the latest, she can explain what that means.”
“I’m not going to like it, am I?”
“No. No you’re not.”
*****
Since Egg was so convinced that all this would have a happy ending, the others had no choice but to play along. It’s safe to say that not everyone agreed about all that J’azzz and goose bumps stuff.
“Okay, let’s not waste time. Serenity, find out where that battle took place and lay in a course. Jax’x, place a call to Mobi . . . I mean Waldo.”
The newly created avatar and now leader of the Klat responded almost immediately. Before Egg could say a word, the First Citizen said, “I would greet Tee’ka first.”
Egg turned to her sister. “Come say hi.”
The girl hurried over. “Hi, Waldo.”
“You are well?” It wasn’t even a day since they last spoke.
Tee surprised everyone with her response. “No, I’m sad.” That got looks from the girls.
“I would not have you so. Explain.”
“It’s those bad people, the Ephemeral.” Egg turned to Syl and winked.
“WHAT?” boomed the repugnant face on the screen? “I will destroy every last one of them.”
“Oh no. I don’t want you to hurt anyone.”
“I will not see you sad. What has occurred?” he asked.
“It’s complicated. Would you mind if I ask Egg to explain it?”
“As you wish.”
“Thanks Tee,” and she squeezed her sister’s hand. “Mobi . . . sorry, Waldo, the Ephemeral have attacked our ships. Our people were on a search and rescue mission to find the remains of the Ark and help anyone in need. They boarded three ships and took the crews hostage. The fourth exploded but not before most of the crew made it to escape pods. We assume the
Ephemeral have captured them also.”
“They are a treacherous people. My advice is to destroy them. Everyone last one.”
“You heard Tee’ka. We don’t believe in violence if it can be avoided.”
“Is that strength or weakness?”
“If we succeed, then it’s strength.”
Waldo did it again. To Egg’s horror, he smiled. “Acceptable response.”
“It is said that the Klat are archenemies with the Ephemeral. Is that true?”
“It is so.”
“How were they captured and imprisoned on the Ark?”
“The Klat volunteered to do what others could not.”
“You captured them? How?”
“We are strong physically. They are but brittle entities and easily broken.”
“But their power to distort reality – how did the Klat avoid that?”
“Their power has no effect on the Klat.”
Egg’s face showed obvious surprise. “Why is that?”
Waldo’s response turned that surprise to shock. “I would take Tee’ka as my wife.”
This time it was Egg who boomed, “WHAT?”
*****
“I would have your permission to take Tee’ka as my wife,” the ugly face of Mobius repeated patiently.
“That’s as perfect a non-sequitur as I ever heard. Do you know what that is?”
“A non sequitur is a conversational device often used for comedic purposes. It is something said that, because of its apparent lack of meaning relative to what preceded it, seems absurd to the point of being humorous or confusing.”
Egg had to smile. “You sound so much like Serenity.”
“She is highly intelligent. I accept the compliment.”
“Mo . . . I mean Waldo, why are you asking for my permission? It’s Tee’ka’s consent that’s important.”
His response went right past ‘shock’ all the way to ‘bombshell’. “I have asked and she has agreed. However, Tee’ka would have your permission.”
The mouths of six sisters hung open. I’za smiled - enjoying the conversation because of the effect on her new friends. Tee’ka on the other hand was beaming.
Everyone turned to the former hostess. “Tee, is that true? He proposed and you agreed to marry him?”
“Egg, I love him. And, he loves me.”
Oh boy, this was awkward. Egg turned back to the screen. “Waldo, before I consent, I need to talk to my sister in private.”
“I would know why?”
“Because this is a life altering decision she’s making and I need to be certain that she absolutely understands the consequences of her decision.”
“Acceptable.”
“Waldo, regardless of what that decision is, I hope you will still consider us friends. Someone from the Federation will be contacting you shortly to discuss what your needs are in a planet . . . in a permanent home. They will also be sending a contingent of individuals to learn your culture and to teach you about ours. They want the Klat to become contributing members of the Federation in the near future. Please don’t let my decision about this marriage alter your cooperation.”
“You have decided?”
“No. No I haven’t. So please give Tee’ka and me time. Will you do that?”
“Unacceptable . . . but understandable. I await your decision with trepidation. Such feelings are new to me . . . and most unpleasant.”
Egg smiled again. “Men of every species suffer the same at times like this. You’ll survive.”
That seemed to jar another non-sequitur out of the man. “I would insure your survival when you face the devious Ephemeral.”
“Thank you but I have no intention of waging a physical war with them.”
“The alternative?”
“Be even more devious then they are.”
“How?”
“As the saying on my world goes – I got nothing. But, my sisters and I, including Tee’ka, will think of something.”
“Sometimes physical confrontation is not avoidable.”
“True.”
“In that case, the Klat will stand with you.”
“That is very generous.”
“It is very selfish as we both know. I would see Tee’ka safe.”
“Understood. Your habitat will not be able to keep up with this ship and I cannot delay this mission to keep pace. So we will send you a continuous update on coordinates and conditions. Follow as best you can.”
“Acceptable . . . but only just so.”
“Before we leave, you didn’t answer my question. Why doesn’t the Ephemeral’s power affect the Klat?”
“My people lack imagination.” He turned his head towards Tee’ka. “Be safe. I would have you by my side.” Then his next words caused Egg and Syl to simultaneously bark out a laugh. “Prosperity and long life”. The screen went dark.
Syl turned to Egg. “He didn’t just quote Spock, did he?”
“Not quite ‘live long and prosper’ but close enough.” Then she looked at Tee’ka. “We need to talk.”
“I won’t leave until you tell me it’s okay.”
“What?” Now she was spewing non-sequiturs.
“I’m a Hameggattic Sister. I’ll stay with you for as long as you need me.”
“If you want to get married, Tee, I would never stop you from leaving to be with him. Being in love means that you want to spend every minute of every day with him. Well, at least for the first month or two.”
“I’m still an avatar just like Waldo. We don’t grow old like real people do.”
Egg turned to Serenity for confirmation.
“Not quite.” Sparky looked at Tee’ka. “Your body doesn’t age like ours. So when you’re seventy, you’ll look and feel like you do now. But Tee, your life span is only a little longer than ours.”
“Oh. And I can’t have babies, can I?” Yet another non-sequitur.
“Sorry, sister. I don’t know how to give you that capability.”
“But, I can still try right?”
“Try what?”
“Try making babies.”
“TEE’KA.” And everyone giggled.
Chapter 3 – Sisters
“Course programmed. Anytime you’re ready,” announced Serenity.
“Let’s go. Be sure to transmit all necessary data to Waldo.”
“On it.”
“How long before we get there?”
“About a day at max speed.”
“Can’t you push it a little faster?”
“Not without risking some serious damage to the propulsion system.”
Egg was about to protest but Syl stopped her. “It would be a foolish risk to try and go faster. If we break down, who knows how long it would take us to get going again.”
“You heard my brain, Sparky. Keep it at a manageable speed.”
“Aye-aye Captain.”
She then turned to Tee’ka. “Now young lady, we need to talk.”
“About what?”
“Waldo and marriage.”
“Egg, he loves me.”
“Tee, he’s a computer program.”
“Like me.”
“No, not like you. You’ve spent years living in that body, living as a flesh and blood person. You’ve been part of this sisterhood. You’ve learned so much about being an individual with free will, about being a member of an organization that helps others without consideration to our own wellbeing. You’ve grown into a fantastic young woman. You are not the same person that we met on Laff’Alott. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“Ummm . . .” and you could see the simple girl concentrating to figure out what her sister meant. Egg was about to help her when she continued. “I think you mean that Waldo needs more time as a real person to become a more real person.” That was not the best phrasing, but it cut to the essence of Egg’s argument.
“Very good. He does need time to experience his new identity. But that’s only half of it. The other half
is that you and he need more time to get to know each other. You’ve only known him for a couple of days. That’s not long enough.”
“Oh no Egg. That’s not right.”
“What’s not right?”
“I’ve known him for a very, very, very long time.”
Egg looked at the others who obviously were as confused as she was. To her surprise, it was I’za that was showing understanding. “I’za, care to join in?”
The girl smiled. “When Tee’ka was inside the Klat computer system, she was in essence a program much like Waldo.”
“Yeah, I got that part.”
“They existed as photons and electrons moving at the speed of light. What you and I do over the course of a minute, they do – or did – in less than a nanosecond. Tee’ka was in there for more than a day. That’s roughly the equivalent of decades for you and me. Neither she nor Waldo need any more time to assess their feelings for one another.”
“Oh. My. Gosh.”
“Does that mean I can marry him?”
Egg stared at the girl. “Can you give him a few years to learn what it means to be flesh and blood?”
“Yes.”
“Can you give him that time to be away from you? To see how strong his feelings are for you?”
“Will I be able to visit him?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then yes.”
“Sparky.”
“Yo?”
“Cue the music. Jax’x, the confetti. Syl, the champagne. I’ll get the veil. We have an engagement to celebrate.”
“Hey, what about my kazoo?”
*****
Egg was sitting in her command chair, a champagne flute in one hand and a silly smile on her face.
“What’s so funny?” asked her best friend.
“I’m going to ask Lord Z’kkk to give away the bride.”
“Why is that funny?”
“Because he’ll be standing at the altar next to Mobius. How ironic is that?”
“Please, please . . . call him Waldo. If you call him Mobius, people are going to freak out.”
Bl’azzz had overheard and she joined in. “I’m going to suggest to Tee’ka that they have a double wedding with you and Little Boy Blue. This way when they take the wedding picture, Mobius will be in it.”
Ark - Box Set #6, Part 1 of Ever After [an Egg and the Hameggattic Sisterhood novel] Page 21