by Jennie Garth
But lately, that’s begun to change.
For Christmas last year my fifteen-year-old gave me a lovely little hardcover book entitled Shit Happens So Get Over It. At the time I was still so raw and sad and steeped in self-pity that I took her gesture the wrong way. I felt like she wanted to hurt me, to tell me to “stop being sad Mom already.” I didn’t know how to react, so I just laughed, said thanks, then hid the book away.
Enough time has passed now, however, and I’m ready to receive the message. I was just too invested in my story, too busy gnawing on my own wounds when Luca gave that book to me to see the bigger picture. Well, of course she wasn’t being insensitive. On the contrary, she was trying to express the truth that we all go through bad times; we all get hurt; we all grieve. It was a beautiful teenage way of saying, “I see what you’re going through. I get it, Mom.”
One day, not too long ago, I found that little book and I started to page through it. It’s an easy read, even for a blonde. It’s full of pearls of wisdom like “Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink” by Charles Bukowski. And “You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you” by Mary Tyler Moore. I kept turning the pages and reading and I found myself smiling and chuckling. Finally—I was getting it! It took only six months, but I was finally getting the gist of Luca’s gift.
Now I keep Luca’s little present prominently displayed on the coffee table in our living room. I’m sure there are people who come to the house who think, “Is this really the best kind of reading material to have around young girls?” My answer to that would be a resounding yes. Yes, it is. So get over it.
Life is going to be hard and bumpy, and it’s not going to do what you want it to do when you want it to: It is going to keep going, and you’ve got to keep going along with it, or else you will miss out. I have been so stubborn, so resistant. I didn’t want to get divorced. I didn’t want my family to break apart. Well, guess what. It happened. And yet we’re all still here—me, the girls, their dad—and we’re all still living life. But we can live well and be free and happy only when we accept it. And by it I mean accepting all of it: the good, the bad, the disappointing, the heartbreaking. We just have to let life happen.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
My deep thanks go to:
Randy and Kelle for “discovering” me and for making me believe in love.
Carolyn Garth for supporting my journey at every turn, and teaching me that there’s nothing I can’t do.
John Morris Garth for sitting quietly with me in the woods.
My siblings: Cammie, Lisa, Wendy, Lynn, John, and Chuck for keeping me grounded and loving me so much.
Emily for her patience and enthusiasm in helping with this book, and for hearing and understanding my voice.
Adele for waxing my woodle and giving me years of unparalleled free therapy.
Patrice, Jazzy, Jensen, and Derwood for taco nights.
Steve and Andy for not stealing my money.
Nina for loving my babies like they are her own, and Juan for lending us Nina!
Peter for giving me the three most important things in my life, and the biggest gift ever . . .
My team: Liz, Stephanie, Melis, Clarina, Nicole, Jennifer, my agents Jack, Iris, and Irwin, Astrid, Jessica Wu, Cindy, Wade, Sherri, Erin, Jamie and Daniella, my Michael, Bryan, Dana, Andre, Daniel, and Marlene.
Jen Schuster and everyone at Penguin who helped make this book happen.
Tori, Shannen, Jason, Ian, Brian, and Luke.
The El Encanto, a great writing cave.
Any guy brave enough to date me after my divorce.
Cupcakes everywhere.
The Hamer family.
The Picard family.
Emily Heckman’s Acknowledgments
Beautiful work with a beautiful team: JG, RJ, JS, LL, I thank you.
This one is for EB, with love.—EH
My favorite place: in my dad’s arms.
I loved hanging out in my Johnny Jump Up.
Already on the move.
My mom and dad were very hands-on parents.
My great-grandfather, who was a jockey and a barber, let me shave his head. I still love to give haircuts.
My mom’s family in Illinois. I was never far away from my mom in those days.
An early modeling gig.
I love family portraits. I already had such an eye for fashion!
I always seemed to have a white dog on my lap.
A different white dog.
My first job with Jason Priestley on the set of Teen Angel. We were such babies!
With Shannen and Tori at the People’s Choice Awards, 1992.
Group shot for the first season of Beverly Hills 90210. The show runners gave us 90210 letterman jackets as holiday gifts. Another year they gave us all bicycles!
The full cast.
At the Golden Globes with Tori Spelling and Brian Austin Green, and on the arm of my first husband, 1992.
Luke and me on the set of Beverly Hills 90210.
Just after Luca Bella was born. Peter had traveled through the night to meet his new baby. I’m not sure which of us was more tired.
Can’t tell which one of us is the baby in this picture.
One of my many wedding dresses. I think this was when Kelly left Brandon at the altar. As always, I still had time to play with my baby. That is little Luca Bella on my lap.
Luca Bella at age four. Sweetest flower girl ever!
Pregnant with Lola Ray. That’s Luca....She wanted to have a baby, too.
This was our “Queen’s wedding party.”
Baby Number Two: Lola Ray.
My favorite place to be: snuggling with one of my babies.
Amanda Bynes and me sharing our very special birth date on the set of What I Like About You.
Halloween 2003: On the set of What I Like About You with baby Lola Ray.
Randy, Adele, Peter and me on the set of the movie where Peter and I met.
Me with a very young Mr. Showbiz and my BFF/assistant, Adele, on the set of On the Plain Road in Utah.
My Dad and I loved to go trail riding together. I think I had to hoist him up on that horse.
This is the dress I fell in while on season five of Dancing with the Stars.
With my sweet, young dance partner, Derek Hough, backstage at Dancing with the Stars.
Single mom family time rafting in Colorado, summer 2013.
One of our many RV adventures. I love those trips.
Me and my girls.
Girls’ night out at a movie premiere, 2012.
Luca Bella and me shooting A Little Bit Country at our ranch in central California.
RVing with Pappy (my dad).
That’s me driving a forty-foot RV.
My dad and me on our birthday. He always said I was the best birthday present he ever got.
That’s little Lizzey!
That’s Pearl, hard at work at LAX.
With my dogs, keeping the tradition of white pups going.
Me and my mom on Mothers’ Day, 2012.
Mr. and Mrs. Showbiz.
Me and my sis Cammie.
Adele and me in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, 2013.
With Jason and Luke on the set of our Old Navy commercial.
Celebrating my fortieth birthday with friends and family, including my gorgeous girls, Luca Bella, Lola Ray, and Fiona Eve.