by Dina Chapel
Mandy knew it was wrong to leave without telling Hank, but Silas was adamant that they didn’t have even a moment to spare. And he had been right. A few minutes later and both mother and baby would have been lost. If she had to take a punishment for that, Mandy thought it was worth it. She just didn’t like for Hank to be angry with her. She surprised even herself with the realization that what he thought of her mattered to her, more than she really knew before.
Hoping that she’d be able to talk with him over breakfast when he came back in after chores, Mandy rose and dressed quickly. She made the bed and got started on the morning meal.
* * *
Hank heard the sound of the approaching wagon and team before he actually saw them. Then they emerged over the crest in the dirt road leading to his barn and he saw them. It was Hermann’s oldest boy, Silas, along with one of his younger brothers. Hank waved to them from where he stood by the barn door. He had been about to head inside for his morning meal, and a long talk with Mandy.
“Mornin’,” Hank called out as Silas stopped the horses just shy of where Hank stood.
“Mornin’, Mr. Meyers,” Silas greeted him and Hank saw him nudge his little brother with his elbow.
“Mornin’, Mr. Meyers,” the younger one echoed his brother.
“What can I do for you two young gentleman today?” Hank was smiling at them and saw confusion pass over Silas’ face at his question.
“Well, sir, Pa said we was to stop here on the way back from fetching Doc Green to inquire after Mrs. Meyers and bring you folks this here ham and some preserves that Ma put up last fall.” Silas was seeming to get more confused as he spoke, and Hank really had no idea why the boys were here—and giving them food to boot.
Just then, Mandy emerged from the cabin, wiping her hands on her apron.
All three, Hank and the two boys, turned to her.
“Mornin’, Mrs. Meyers.” The younger Johansson was the only one who found his voice.
“Morning to you too, Kurt.” Mandy smiled at him, glancing quickly at Hank; he stared at her. “How is your mama this morning?”
“She’s fine and so’s the new baby.” He continued, filling the silence with his excited chatter. “Mama says he’s the best baby, so quiet and content. He just sleeps and eats, eats and sleeps.”
“Sara had the baby.” Hank stated this fact while looking directly at Mandy. It wasn’t a question; she didn’t answer. “You helped?”
Silas was looking from Mandy to Hank and back again. Kurt had stopped talking when Hank spoke.
“Yes, sir,” Mandy stated quietly, looking directly at Hank. He nodded in response.
“Pa and Ma wanted to gift you with this here ham and these preserves for all your help, Mrs. Meyers.” Silas quickly removed them from the wagon, passing them off to Mandy. “Kurt and I had best be on our way now, seein’ as how Pa needs us to stay on top of the chores at home.”
“He’s stayin’ by Ma’s side to help, just like you said he should, ma’am.”
Mandy smiled at the two boys as Hank found he couldn’t take his gaze from her. She was focusing on the boys, and seemed to be avoiding looking at him altogether.
Silas climbed back up on the buckboard beside his brother. Hank had been holding the horses, and once Silas had the reins in his hands, Hank slapped the horse’s flank and off they went, the two boys waving goodbye.
As Mandy watched the wagon jostle away on the bumpy dirt road, Hank turned and marched straight into the barn without a word to her.
* * *
Mandy turned and walked back to the cabin. She didn’t quite know what to make of Hank’s behavior. Figuring she should just finish up with the morning meal, Mandy readied the biscuits and set them to baking, assuming Hank had to eat. He’d come in eventually.
With that thought, the door opened and Hank entered. He had such a grim look on his face that Mandy couldn’t focus on anything else. She didn’t notice that he held a jar in his left hand. And the words that came from his mouth next took precedence over everything else in Mandy’s mind.
“Get on the bed, face down.”
Mandy whimpered out loud without even realizing it. She searched Hank’s eyes for some answer, some recognition of the situation as she saw it. There was none. Mandy couldn’t figure what the look on Hank’s face meant and she hadn’t ever seen him look that way before.
And he meant to punish her further? Mandy didn’t think she could bear it. She knew she wasn’t allowed to argue, but something about this was very wrong.
“Hank.” Mandy couldn’t help herself. She began to plead. “Please. I’m so sore.”
“On the bed, Mandy.”
“I’ve learned my lesson, I promise.”
“Now, Amanda.” He seemed sad, not angry. Was he so terribly disappointed in her to warrant further punishment?
Mandy’s feet felt as if they were made of stone as she dragged herself over to the bed and lay down on it, face down as she had been told. Then she heard Hank pull a chair over to the side of the bed. He pulled her dress and petticoats up to her waist and then pulled her drawers down to her knees.
Her entire exposed backside still burned and stung from the strapping with Hank’s belt. Mandy tensed in anticipation of more pain on her already painful hind end. She was afraid to peek and see what Hank was planning to use to spank her with—she hadn’t heard him remove his belt, yet.
Then she thought she heard a lid being removed from a jar and, as she turned to see what was happening, Hank began to speak.
“Mandy.” Hank’s voice was soft and tender, not the way he usually spoke before or during punishment. He was usually stern then. He was speaking to her as he did after a spanking, when he comforted her.
“I’m sorry.”
Then Mandy felt a cooling sensation on her burning skin. Hank was applying some kind of salve to her behind.
“I should never have punished you without talking to you first. I promise you that I will never do that again.”
Mandy started crying silently as Hank tenderly treated her striped backside with the ointment.
“I was just so scared that I might have lost you. But that doesn’t excuse me.” When Hank had treated every inch of her burning skin, he replaced the lid on the jar and set the jar on the bedside table. “I just hope you can forgive me, sweetheart.”
Mandy turned her head to see Hank’s eyes glistening with unshed tears. Mandy took a deep breath as she laid her head on the pillow and relished the cooling sensation of the salve. She looked straight at Hank.
“I don’t need to. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Mandy...”
“No, Hank, please. Let me explain.” Mandy paused to gather her thoughts. “I broke your rule and you punished me for it. It’s no different than any other time.”
Mandy had learned the lesson that Hank intended, which was that he would always follow through on his promises. He would always do exactly what he said he would. It was something that Mandy had come to rely on, just as Hank had wanted her to.
He pulled her drawers back up over her backside, fastening them carefully, and then pulled her petticoats and skirt back down over them.
“We’ll apply some more before bed and you should start to feel better by tomorrow.” Hank helped Mandy up from the bed, an awkward endeavor as she strove not to rest any weight on her backside. Hank reached down behind Mandy to right the coverlet and, when he stood back up, Mandy threw herself against him, wrapping her arms around his middle and squeezing him with all her might.
Hank kissed the top of her head and held her tight.
“Why don’t you tell me all about that new baby while we have our morning meal?”
“His name’s Ben, and he’s awful cute...” Mandy started as they made their way to the table to eat.
Chapter 6
Mandy pressed herself tightly against the cabin wall and stayed silent as a mouse. She had her ear pressed against the crack between two pieces of lumber and
could make out snippets of the conversation.
“You’ll be doing me the favor...she’s can’t have any kids...I really don’t have a use for her anymore...” That was Hank’s voice.
“I can pay you. I can’t just take her...don’t seem right.” Mr. Henderson from the next farm over sounded a bit hesitant. “How much you want for her?”
“Don’t know...hadn’t given much thought to price...”
Mandy felt her stomach plummet. Were they talking about her? Was Hank fixing to trade her off to Mr. Henderson?
“Would you be open to barter?”
Mandy had heard enough. She felt sick and thought she might lose the contents of her stomach any second. She moved away from the cabin quietly, then broke into a run. She found herself in the shade at the back of the barn several moments later, not even remembering getting herself there.
Mandy leaned against the barn and then slid down to the ground. Her legs felt like rubber and tears were running down her cheeks.
She had truly believed that Hank was different. She had come to trust him. She even thought that maybe she loved him, although she wasn’t quite sure what love was and so she didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like. She also thought that maybe Hank loved her. He had never said the words though.
But she hadn’t conceived a child yet and Mandy knew that was one of the things that Hank wanted more than anything in the world. He wanted children. What if she never conceived? It could be he didn’t want to waste any more time on waiting for her to have his child. With Mandy out of the way—and the sooner the better apparently—Hank could go on to find another wife, a wife that could bear children for him.
It was nearly a full year since the bride train had brought Mandy and those other women to these parts. Pastor Karlson had been speaking in church last Sunday about how another group of women were set to arrive next month and how the folks running the operation were thinking of making it a yearly event.
It could be that Hank had got to thinking that he could get a new bride for himself, one who could bear him children right away. One who wouldn’t make him wait so long to consummate the marriage. Mandy’s imagination started running wild over all the things she felt she had done wrong. And all the reasons why Hank wouldn’t want to keep her.
It felt like her heart was breaking.
She let herself cry for a bit longer, until she heard the two men’s voices coming out the cabin door.
“That sounds fine, just fine,” Mr. Henderson was saying. “You just bring her on over tomorrow and I’m sure she’ll get accustomed to her new home right quick.”
“Thanks, Nate. I’m just fond of her, y’know.”
“I know, but she’ll be fine. I’ll take good care of her.”
Mandy stayed out of sight until Nate Henderson had ridden off and Hank had headed out into the fields again. When the both men were out of sight, she made her way quickly into the cabin.
Grabbing her travel bag from where she had stashed it under the bed the day she had arrived, Mandy quickly packed her few possessions and stopped to take one last look around the cabin.
She felt the tears threaten again. She had come to think of this place as home, the first real, true home she had ever had. And it had all been a lie.
Mandy wasn’t going to let Hank do that to her. She wasn’t going to let him get rid of her without her knowledge or consent, just like all the others had. Mandy vowed that no one would ever do that to her again.
She quickly packed a few things to eat that would keep, biscuits and jerky and some water in a jar. She planned to travel by foot. She’d keep to herself until she came to the next town and then she’d try to find work.
* * *
Hank finished plowing the south end of the field just about supper time. He was glad he’d been able to finish what he’d planned to that day. Falling behind always left him feeling frustrated. A good day’s work that went as planned never failed to satisfy him.
Hank made his way back to the barn, looking forward to a good meal and some time spent with Mandy. She was always pleasant company these days. The more content she became, the more relaxed and happy she became also. Her true personality was beginning to shine through and she was bright as sunshine and sweet as a cool glass of lemonade on a hot day.
Hank was thinking maybe tonight he could broach the subject he’d been meaning to discuss with her for some time now. Mandy hadn’t gotten with child as yet, and Hank had considered that maybe he and Mandy could adopt a child to start. There was a new type of train coming out west these days that wasn’t just for unmarried women—it was an orphan train. Children from orphanages in the big cities were being brought out west to be adopted by childless families. The last time he and Mandy had attended Sunday services he had talked to the pastor about it afterward. Hank couldn’t see the down side.
After settling the team with fresh hay and feed, Hank headed toward the cabin. There wasn’t any smoke coming from the chimney. The last time that happened was when Sara had the baby and Mandy had gone off to help without telling him. But Hank had both horses with him. Hank washed up outside and opened the door.
The cabin was empty. No fire in the hearth, no dinner being fixed, no coffee brewing. And no Mandy. Where could she be?
* * *
Mandy started out walking along the worn path that led from the farm and toward town. The Johansson’s farm was in this direction also. Then she realized that, if Hank should notice that she was gone before supper time, he would easily find her walking there.
She needed to move off the road as soon as possible and travel through the woods instead. The only problem with doing that was the very real possibility that she would lose her sense of direction once she was in too deep and get lost.
Mandy decided that if she just kept sight of the clearing and the road from not too deep in, she wouldn’t get lost. She ventured in and kept to moving. She wanted to make town by nightfall, if possible.
Mandy tried hard to focus on her feet and where she was stepping. The ground was rough and rocky, overgrown with brush, and she could easily trip and fall. The last thing she needed right now was an injury to slow her down. Plus, if she focused on her walking, she wouldn’t think about Hank and how much she’d miss him.
The ground in front of Mandy became blurry as tears clouded her vision. She didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay here. She wanted to stay with Hank. She liked it here on the farm and she really liked Hank.
Then she reminded herself that he was the one who had chosen to change things. He had chosen to send her away. She really didn’t have a choice about whether she stayed with Hank or not. The decision had already been made. And so she had to go.
Reaching up with her left hand, Mandy swiped at her eyes to clear the tears and restore her vision. She moved forward at the same time and, instead of spotting the vine crossing her path, she walked right into it, both feet catching against the strong growth. Mandy shrieked as she went face first down into the brush, landing on the rocky path before her.
* * *
Hank stuck to the path at first. It was well-worn and, although he thought Mandy might choose to travel through the woods to conceal herself, he still figured she wouldn’t stray too far from the edge of the path. She’d easily get lost if she went too deep into the woods. She knew that much.
He still couldn’t believe her valise was gone and most of her things. Why? Hank thought they were well past Mandy’s doubts of the marriage, the situation—him. He really couldn’t figure what had prompted her to leave. It would make more sense to him if something had recently happened between them that was unpleasant, but Hank couldn’t even think of one thing that might have prompted this behavior.
He’d find out soon enough when he caught up to her. She’d have some explaining to do, that was for sure. And she sure wouldn’t be sitting comfortably for a few days at least, he’d see to that.
With that, Hank heard a scream. One brief high-pitched shriek. He stop
ped his horse in its tracks and cocked his ear. Silence. “Mandy!” Hank shouted her name. That just had to have been her. “Mandy! Answer me, girl!”
Nothing.
Hank dismounted and tied his horse to the nearest limb. The sound had come from the woods, so Hank headed toward that sound, shouting her name as he went. “Mandy? Mandy! Can you hear me?” Hank eyes searched the ground as he went for signs of trampled brush. “Mandy!”
Hank stilled when he heard a noise. It sounded like a moan. He headed right for that sound...and found Mandy.
She was sprawled on the ground, looking bruised and bloody.
“Oh, Mandy, sweetheart.” Hank kneeled next to her. “It’s all right, baby, I’m here. You’re going to be alright.” Hank gently slipped his arms under her and she moaned. He lifted her and carried her to the clearing near where his horse waited patiently.
“I tripped and fell.” Mandy stated feebly, as the tears started rolling down her face. Hank fetched a spare blanket from his horse and, rolling it, placed it under Mandy’s head to make her as comfortable as possible as he checked her over.
When Hank was satisfied that nothing was broken, just bruised, he did his best to clean her up a bit with a rag from his pocket and some water from his water pouch. Mandy had a few cuts that would need better tending once they were home. Overall, she’d be fine after some rest. Hank was relieved that she was safe, more than he could ever express.
He helped Mandy up, anxious to get her home, where he would be able to treat those nastier cuts, and into bed where she could rest more comfortably. He helped her walk over to his horse and then paused. Turning her to face him, he tipped her chin up.
“Why were you running away, Amanda?”
Mandy averted her eyes at first, then, seeming to remember what she was about, she looked straight at Hank. “I wanted to be the one to choose where I go next. Not you.”
Now Hank was really confused. “I don’t understand.” She wasn’t making any sense. “Where are you going?”