“Okay. Thanks. May I think about it?” I jammed my hands in my pockets to prevent myself from lunging over the counter and ripping the keys out of the man’s hand.
“I’ll give you a week, then they go in the case for sale.”
Outside the store, I wanted to smack down the glass storefront. Will clutched my arms, taking the brunt of my tirade. “That little bitch. I’ll rat her out, and my mother will drive her down to CPS so fast her black head’ll spin into the ocean. My mom’s giving her everything and she treats us like this?”
“Whoa, Ivy, pump the brakes. What do you think she needed the money for?” Will squeezed my arms in his long, skinny fingers.
“What does it matter?” I stamped my flip-flop on the sidewalk, the jarring thud up my ankle easing my annoyance. “She stole from us. My mom’s missing money too.” He whistled and his hands dropped to his sides. I continued, “Probably drug money for Axhole.”
“Is she into drugs?”
I shrugged and marched to Will’s car. Screw the jaywalking laws. I was beyond badass mode. “According to Jesse, whatever Ax wants, Ax gets. If he’s doing drugs, drinking, and killing brain cells, you can bet she is too.”
“I take it you’re not buying her another gift?” He unlocked his car.
I landed a withering glower on him. “I’ll buy her a one-way ticket to a group home. Let’s hit the Boardwalk. I want to drown my problems in clam chowder and ice cream. Lunch is on me.”
Thoughts torn every which way, I didn’t know how to handle the situation. If I ratted her out, would Mom boot her black corpse to CPS? Mom would never stand for thievery, lying, and voodoo curses. I scratched my arm until it started to bleed. What about Jesse? Two for the price of one?
“Dude, what’s up with your arm?” Will stole worried glances my way. “Hope it’s not contagious.”
“The little thief is putting voodoo curses on me. I swear I’m gonna pound her into an inky blob.”
He snickered. “Voodoo curses?”
I whacked his arm. “She is. Did you see her bedroom?”
“Not much, but I’m aiming for more face time.”
I gagged and scrunched up my nose.
When we arrived home early evening, I was raring to go off on Jade. J-squared had already unloaded a crap-ton of junk in the garage, leaving one garage door up.
“Coming in?” I asked Will.
“Think they’ll be home soon?” He parked in the circular driveway by the front door.
I shrugged. “Who knows? I’m not in the moving plans loop.” I didn’t like sitting on the clueless side of the scheming fence. I’d asked Jesse and he blew me off, telling me he and Jade needed to pack and move alone for closure on their lives in Santa Cruz. Apparently, they were moving furniture to a storage unit and bringing stuff to the house, and his friend’s dad had already found a renter. Guess that was all I needed to know.
Then it hit me. Clueless is as clueless does. Had Dad fostered that level of omission in all of us? Not just in Jesse, but in me too? I wrapped my mind around the idea that we may all be feeding off my father’s shiftiness. Crap on a crispy sailboat.
Mind mired in other kinds of hell, I said, “My mom will feed you.” Making the decision for Will, I unbuckled his seatbelt, fascinated with the idea that he was lovestruck. Not that Jade would look at him twice with Axhole in the picture.
Mom greeted us, smothering Will in a vanilla-lavender hug. She’d not worn her expensive signature scent since the funeral. Thank the perfume fairies for big favors. I’d found the half-empty bottle in the trash yesterday morning and done a happy dance to the perfume cemetery. I was ecstatic she was inching out from under the Master’s influence.
“It’s great to see you two together. Ivy needs good friends outside her book buddies.”
My embarrassment turned me into a boiling tomato, splat onto my face. “How do you know he’s a good friend?” I nudged my elbow in Will’s side.
“Actually, your father said nice things about Will.”
My back went rigid in shock. Dad said nice things about someone? Red flag warning.
Will’s blush matched mine. “He was a nice man. My dad liked him when they weren’t competing for the same job.”
Will’s father, another upper-level manager at the corporation, had vied against Dad for the same VP position. Apparently, he’d already slid right into Dad’s vacant position. They’d been sailing and golfing buddies. Guess they had whoring in common too.
Mom set us up in the kitchen with homemade tacos and taco salad. “Jesse and Jade should be ho… here any minute with their last load.”
I simmered inside, dying for Mom to give Jade the smackdown. Both CPS and Jesse had already said they’d probably get separated if Mom kicked them to the curb. Despite Jade’s antagonistic behavior, I didn’t want Mom to hand them marching orders. I refused to live without Jesse now that he’d seized every part of my life. Jesse following her to the curb wouldn’t help her at all. Hell, she’d probably kiss me for her marching orders. I massaged my temples, soothing my conflicted mind.
Should I confront her alone? Then what? We’d enter an uncomfortable truce based on threats. But they might be all Kristen and I had left if Mom got booted to the pokey for her contribution to hell. Nausea bloomed and the taco meat nearly unseated me.
J-squared slogged through the hallway from the garage, clothes and bedding stuffed in their arms. Jesse’s hair hung stringy with dried sweat and Jade’s black eyeliner had smudged beneath her eyes, framed by tousled black hair. For once she didn’t wear her jacket over her black tank top, and the corpse-white of her arms blinded me. Seriously, I needed sunglasses.
“Screw me now. Just what I need, the Barbie and Ken crew,” she spat out.
Jesse shot her a tired and equally black look.
“Well, hello, Morticia,” I drawled.
“Dump your stuff and eat. You must be starved.” Clueless Mom sprang into action to top off the bowls on the table with fresh food.
“I am.” Jesse smiled. “We’ll finish unloading.”
“You need any help, man?” Will wiped his mouth on a napkin, but there wasn’t a speck of food on his mouth, he was such a neat eater.
Jesse flipped a surprised look at Will, a hint of jealousy playing along the angular planes of his thin face.
I ripped my napkin to shreds. Jesse knew Will and I had planned to hit up the Boardwalk. I guess guys simply can’t handle their girls hanging with other guys, no matter how you sliced and diced it.
“I got it,” Jesse replied, an edge to his voice. Without another glance at me, he followed Jade up the back staircase.
My paranoia stepped over the line. Had I screwed up? I hated being insecure. I had no experience dating, let alone dating my mock-brother traveling through a mutual grieving process. Maybe grief was all we had, our intense relationship a passing phase. I slid my plate aside before my dinner made a surprise reappearance.
Fifteen minutes later, Jesse joined us at the table, hair wet and smelling of clean, fresh shampoo. It gloved me in the feel of him, and I wanted to infuse my skin with his scent. I was putting my dishes in the dishwasher when he sidled close to get a clean plate. Flutters plagued my stomach, and I realized I’d missed the flutters and never wanted to not feel them.
He bent down to my ear. “Nothing changes,” he said. “Missed you.”
Pleasure thrummed in my chest. All was well. Until I served up a double side order of crazy stupid.
“Hey, we have a problem,” I whispered, taking a different tactic to out Jade. “Follow me.”
His plate clinked on the granite counter, his bare feet padding silently behind me to Dad’s office, no, the office now.
I pulled my phone out, clicked through the photos, and held the screen up for Jesse’s perusal. He scrolled through them, his face transforming into a black, Dad-like storm of epic proportions.
“I take it those are yours or your mom’s earrings?”
“My mom’s
. Jade done this before?”
“That fucktard Ax is manipulating her into doing this shit.” His reddening hands gripped the phone so hard it creaked. “They took off for hours on a pot run into the foothills today.”
I explained how I’d caught her in Mom’s room. “She may have stolen two hundred dollars too. Although my mom’s not totally positive she didn’t spend it. No one forgets spending two bills.” I crossed my hands on my stomach, fearing the visage of Jerkface Dad would rear its ugly head from beyond the grave in his adoptive son’s form.
Back steel-beam tense, Jesse charged into the kitchen. He shoved the phone in front of Jade, knocking a taco out of her hand onto the table, shredded lettuce and cheese splattering onto the floor. “What the fuck? Why did you do this?”
Jade shriveled into herself a little, her mouth forming a big O. She pinned me with the vilest look I’d ever seen on anyone. Pushing back from the table, knocking Jesse’s hand aside, she said, “At least I’m not Ivy hooking up with my own brother.”
Mom and Will’s horrified eyes and gaping mouths swiveled to me. Jade sneered as though she’d saved her thieving corpse hide from a fate worse than death. Jesse studied a piece of lettuce stuck to the floor by his big toe. If she’d just called me Vine, I might not have felt like a victim of the Leo Plague, wielding a facemask and chainsaw ready to cut through the infection in the room.
Chapter 22
Mom clutched her throat and sputtered. “Ivy… you two? With… Jesse?”
“It’s not like we’re related. Newsflash, Jesse was adopted.” My ire levitated my voice and my words hung in the air as if tangible. Will’s expression smoothed in relief, but Mom’s face darkened, ready to explode dark matter all over us. Had I sprouted a salt-and-pepper straw head and become the evil tormentor Leo?
“Not in my house,” Mom snapped. She clamped down on the table edge when I knew her hands wanted to take a spin through the air. “You two will not have that kind of relationship under my roof, do you hear me?” She fired a pinched black look from Jesse to me. “You break it off now or Jesse goes.”
“Are you kidding me? No!” I curled my fists. “You can’t do that.”
“I can and I will.” Her nostrils flared, her eyes went flinty, and a muscle ticked in her jaw. I’d never seen her wear that much rage. “I expected better from you after everything your father put us through.”
“Excuse me?” I leaned toward her to force my words into her brain-dead blonde head. “I’m free of the dictatorial fiefdom. For the first time ever, I have a real life. Jesse’s a decent boy. You said so yourself.” My eyes beseeched him to pipe up.
“Alice, it was my fault. I’m sunk, you know. Ivy is too, and we were consoling each other, using each other to cut through the crud in our heads. It won’t happen again.”
I died bit by bit as Jesse raked our relationship over the coals of hell. What happened to “nothing changes?” I refused to let Jade the human reject best my perfect escape from Jerks ’R’ Us.
“Your fault my ass. She was grinding all over you. Naked.” Jade slammed her hand on the table, clattering silverware in ceramic bowls.
“Shut it, Morticia. I wasn’t naked or grinding on anything.” I scrabbled for my phone in Jesse’s hands. “She’s stealing from you. Now she’s seeking payback for me outing her. Look.” I thrust the phone in Mom’s face, revealing Jade and Ax outside the pawn shop and the snapshot of her earrings. “I caught her in your bedroom this morning. She stole your diamond post earrings and pawned them in Santa Cruz. I think she stole your missing money too. You missing anything else? Is your car in the garage?”
Jade crossed her arms over her flat chest. Will slunk down into his chair and studied the drips of taco sauce on his plate to avoid the horror show. Mom dropped her face in her hands, leaving Jesse and me staring at each other.
Jesse pulled out a chair for me, and I thanked him with a grim smile. He sat beside me, his chair so close I was surprised Mom didn’t dig a crowbar between us, then beat our private parts until we were permanently closed for business. But multitasking didn’t top her list of attributes, which probably saved the decimation of our privates.
After an epic cricket-fest, Mom lifted her head. “What did you need the money for, Jade?”
“Stuff my mom promised to buy me. Plus, I had to pay a loan back to Ax.” The lies tripped off her tongue.
“Please. What’re you selling now?” I tossed a glob of ground beef onto her plate.
“Why didn’t you come to me?” Mom asked slowly and way too calmly. Deadly.
May as well plunk all the dirty cards on the taco table. “Oh, by the way, Jade and Ax have been sneaking in and out of her bedroom window at night,” I said. “At least Jesse and I aren’t banging each other.”
Jade lunged across Jesse’s lap toward me. “You bitch. Shut the hell up.” Her black claws fumbled for my face.
Fearing an infectious outbreak from her ragged black fingernails, I drove my chair back as Jesse strong-armed her off him and away from me. Why’d I ever think I wanted to get to know the little ball-buster?
“Sit down.” Mom pounded her fist on the table, clinking silverware against the dishes. “Will, I’m sorry. Can you step out? This is a family matter.”
“No prob. I need to go home.” He squeezed my shoulder, and Jesse made a low, throaty, jealous he-man sound. “Thanks for dinner.”
I gave him a call-you-later phone gesture by my ear before he skedaddled out of the line of fire.
“Clearly, I’ve been absent around here in more ways than one. I meant to hunker down and become a good guardian.” Tears welled in Mom’s eyes and she waved her hand in front of her face. “It’s been hard, confronted with Leo’s indiscretions. But that’s no excuse and I vow to do better.”
“Mom, I understand.” I patted her thin, cold hand.
She jerked her hand out from under mine, avoiding the jagged claws threatening to break through the tips of my fingers. “Zip it. I’m not done with you.”
I kicked the table leg. “I haven’t done anything wrong. Why is this all about me?” I wanted to rant and scream. All my life, she’d had my back, followed my lead, gave me all the freedom Dad refused me, and I did her job around the house. I suffered from her drugged stupors, her burnt toast doormat days, for this? Was her brain stuffed in a voodoo doll?
“I understand how hard this situation is, and you may do or say things outside the norm.” Mom gave Jade a pointed look. “If we’re to meld as a family we need to respect each other and follow rules. My rules aren’t so bad.” Her tired smile lasted all of one second.
“Agreed.” Jesse finally dumped a morsel into the conversation. To his credit, he hadn’t taken his sister’s side against me, and I couldn’t expect him to rally to my defense without jeopardizing our relationship further. Maybe he remained silent to play Switzerland.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” she continued. I held my breath waiting for her to say Jade had to move out, knowing Jesse may follow. Either way, we’d find a way to be together. Unless he blamed me for getting booted to the curb in the end. “No more stealing, no boyfriends in the bedroom, no sneaking in and out windows. You stick to curfew. You follow my loose rules. Agreed?”
I didn’t know if my sudden trembling stemmed from my fuming or my utter puzzlement over this thing who’d claimed Alice Lynwood’s body.
Jade flicked taco chip crumbs off the table. Jesse kicked her leg. “Yes,” she yelped, tugging her hands to her lap and flipping me the bird under the table.
“Agreed,” he said.
They all ogled me. “Whatever,” I said. “I’m not the one who needs this lecture.” My bullshit detector zinged off the charts.
“Well, listen up, daughter. You too, Jesse. Whatever’s happening between you two stops now. No more night swims.” She held up her hand. “Yes, I know about them. If you use the rec room, the doors remain open at all times. No boys in the girls’ bedrooms and no girls in Jesse’s bedroom.
You two will still work on the finances and household chores, but time alone other than as normal family members is prohibited. Everyone respects each other’s space. Stay out of each other’s bedroom, including mine, unless invited.”
Holy schizoid cow. Will the real Alice Lynwood stand up and accept the prize for the most drug-addled changeling? Welcome to the Momageddon era.
I peered at Jesse’s resigned face, then Jade’s evil smile. “Fine. Okay.” I wobbled my head.
“I’m serious, Ivy.” She slapped her palm on the table, sending a fork clattering to the floor. One more table slam and the dishes might revolt. “If you two don’t break off whatever is going on between you now, Jesse’s out of here.” Her gaze bounced from me to him. “I won’t tolerate a sexual relationship between anyone, and that includes Jade and her boyfriend, under my roof. I’ll send you all packing.”
“Mom!” I put space between me and this new paradigm of parenthood. “We’re not having sex.”
“You never will either. And quit yelling at me. You sound like your father. Do you want to end up like him? Because you’re traveling a narrow path to…” She stopped.
Oh. My. Sucktacular life. I withered into a hollow shell inside, hiding my realization from the misfit family in front of me. Was I traveling a path to Leo Lynwood syndrome? Had I become that plague?
Mom regained her composure, her eyes steely, a muscle flicking in her neck. “Go to your separate bedrooms and stay there the rest of the night. If I catch any of you sneaking out a window, I’ll nail them shut.” She scratched her head, and I bet she was dreaming of pretty pink pills. I ought to slip her some anti-crazy meds too. Maybe I ought to take some for myself to stop my transformation into my father, as my mother alluded to.
“I’ll repay you for the earrings.” Jesse carried dirty plates to the sink.
“Don’t worry about it,” Mom said. “One-time free pass.”
“Thank you. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.” Directing his pointed glower at Jade, his voice dropped low and growly.
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