by Anne Hampson
‘Haven’t I told you, so often, that I adore you?’ he asked presently, still holding her in his arms. ‘Haven’t I said that I hate this waiting?’ She nodded, remembering his impatience on so many occasions. How could she explain that it was not the waiting which was responsible for the way she felt? She had no other explanation to offer in its place. There was no accounting for her fears which, she kept telling herself, were absurd in the extreme.
‘I love you so much,’ she whispered close to his lips, thrilling to the expression of love in his eyes, the tender curve of his mouth and the feel of clean cool breath on her face. ‘I’m ridiculous, as you say, and I’m determined not to be afraid any more.’
‘I shall have to be far more stern with you,’ he decided, ‘and box your ears when you don’t behave as I want you to!’
Shyly she fluttered her lashes.
‘I’ll behave,’ she promised, and this time her laugh was spontaneous, not forced. ‘I’ll do everything you want me to.’
His amber eyes widened for a fleeting moment before the lines at the sides crinkled, and his lips twitched.
‘Everything?’ with some considerable amusement. ‘Now that is what I call a most tempting offer—’
‘Rohan, you’re incorrigible!’ she laughed.
‘That’s better,’ he approved. ‘Keep that happy light in those beautiful eyes—always!’
Dominie promised she would, and for a couple of days did in fact manage to throw off her misgivings and appear the happy bride-to-be. After all, she told herself, she would very soon be able to wear the lovely engagement ring which Rohan had bought her, and once Jake was in the picture, and looking for another nanny, the wedding could be arranged. Meanwhile, though, all unknowing, Jake arranged to have Rohan and the Fortescues over for dinner, and although Rohan deliberately set out to be no more than polite to Sylvia it did seem to Dominie that the girl adopted a possessive manner with him. How did she behave when in his home? Dominie began to wonder, the first pricks of jealousy making themselves felt. The girl and her parents had been at Windward Crest for almost a week; Dominie could not help assuming that Rohan’s present attitude of near-indifference towards Sylvia was adopted solely for his fiancee’s benefit, since he would not wish to act in a way that Dominie could resent. Was he more friendly with Sylvia at home? It looked very much like it, for otherwise surely the girl would not be so possessively familiar with him.
She was sitting next to him, while Dominie was opposite, and she had to watch the girl fluttering her lashes, and half-turning her pretty head all the time to look at him. She laughed a good deal and he would laugh in response; she whispered to him and he would nod, though absently, Dominie had to admit.
‘I’m having another helping of chicken, Jake,’ she cooed at her host. ‘Oh, look at Rohan’s disapproving frown!’ Dominie didn’t notice any frown; in fact, her fiancé’s expression was one of near-boredom. ‘He always used to scold me about my eating too much, but you can, Rohan darling, when you’re only twenty-one. It’s when you’re nearing thirty that you have to start being careful,’ and she looked slyly at Dominie before laughing and turning to Rohan, expecting him to laugh as well.
Dominie lifted her napkin to her mouth, lowering her head at the same time. She did not think anyone had noticed the subtle barb, simply because she, Dominie, was not ‘nearing thirty’. But Sylvia, aware of her age because she herself had once mentioned it to Jake in her hearing, had endeavoured to bring to Rohan’s notice the fact that Dominie was several years older than she. On lifting her head at length Dominie met Rohan’s gaze. Her lip quivered in spite of herself and he smiled, faintly shaking his head in what could only be described as a little gesture of admonishment. So he knew she was affected by’ the girl’s attitude towards him—and he was anxious to convey the information that, apart from being downright rude to the daughter of a valuable business associate, there was little he could do about it. But Dominie was human, and very much in love; she could be as jealous as the rest ... and she was. And jealousy bred anger which, showing in her expression, brought a sudden dark frown to her fiancee’s brow. She glanced down at her plate, then up again, sending him a fluttering look from under her lashes. His mouth was tight, and his eyes had narrowed to slits of anger. Dominie caught up her lower lip between her teeth, biting hard in order to stem the tears which threatened. She heard her fiancé say, with the amused tolerance he had once adopted towards the girl,
‘Sylvia, can I pass you the rolls?’ and the purring response,
‘Thank you very much, dear Rohan. Oh, I do adore their crusty outsides—don’t you?’
Stupid creature! thought Dominie to herself, wishing fervently that she could find some excuse for leaving the table.
‘Dominie,’ said Jake in his quiet good-humoured voice, ‘you’re not eating very much. What can I pass you?’
‘I’ll have a little more chicken, please.’
She helped herself from the dish, refusing to glance in Rohan’s direction, and he seemed to become more angry than ever because she heard, after a moment, the quick intake of his breath and the unnecessary clatter as his knife and fork were placed on his plate. Dominie looked around the table. Mrs. Fortescue was beaming in the direction of her daughter and Rohan; her husband was passing some remark to Jake. Dominie felt alone—out of everything. The food choked her and she wished she had not asked for it. Never had she expected this to be such an unhappy meal for her.
A sigh of relief escaped her when at last they all rose, to move out to the moonlit terrace where coffee and liqueurs were served.
‘Take me walking, Rohan, please...’ Sylvia’s kittenish request was accompanied by a slipping of her arm through that of Rohan, who was sitting close to her. ‘I adore a tropical garden when the moon shines on it! The flowers are all lit up—though not as brightly as when the sun shines on them—and the breeze tonight is so warm and ... heady.’
‘The breeze is cool, not warm,’ said Jake in some amusement. ‘The night would be much less comfortable if it weren’t for the breeze, for we’ve had an exceptionally hot day.’
Sylvia gave an elegant shrug of her shoulders.
‘Warm or cool—what does it matter? I want to walk in it. Are you coming, Rohan?’
‘Later, Sylvia.’
That should have put Dominie in a better mood, but strangely it didn’t. For one thing, she could find no excuse for Rohan’s allowing Sylvia’s arm to remain were it was, tucked intimately into his, and for another, she felt that even though the engagement must be kept a secret, Rohan could without arousing any suspicions have given his fiancée a little more of his attention. Of course, through her anger at the dinner table she had provoked him, but she was in no mood to make allowances for the subsequent attention he had afforded Sylvia, or reasonably to admit that it was only natural that he should retaliate.
And so when the time arrived for his departure there remained a coolness between them never before existing at a parting. His stiff and formal good night produced in her so choking a sensation that she was quite unable to respond, with the result that he believed she had deliberately snubbed him. Just to add to Dominie’s misery it was Sylvia who slipped into the front seat of the car with him, and the last words Dominie heard as Rohan slid the car smoothly off the forecourt were,
‘Our stroll, Rohan ... you haven’t forgotten? It’s not too late, darling...’
Rohan hadn’t put in an appearance for two whole days, nor had he telephoned. Dominie stood by the table on which Jake’s phone lay, her fingers pressed into her hair, the palm of her hand as damp as the brow on which it rested. Her fears ... how very real they were now. Not by any stretch of imagination could she visualize her wedding-day. She had lost him, she told herself over and over again even while, glancing at the clock, she was finding yet another excuse for his not phoning. It was eight o’clock, and he dined at that time. Later, when he had settled his guests with their coffee and liqueurs, he would leave them and speak to h
er, saying he was sorry if she’d been hurt but there had really been nothing he could do about Sylvia’s familiarity, not in her parents’ presence. And she, Dominie, would be all contrite, and admit that she had been unreasonably angry and jealous, and she hoped he would forgive her. He would be over early tomorrow, he would then promise, and they would have a wonderful making-up.
But the bell never rang and at half-past nine Dominie had given up hope.
‘Is anything wrong?’ inquired Jake anxiously as he came up to her in the garden. He had been with the children, having a little talk after Dominie had bathed them and put them to bed. And now he joined Dominie as she stood on the edge of the lawn, staring into space. ‘You’ve not been yourself all day.’
She turned to him, noting his rugged features, more healthy now, and his smile that always had a certain softness about it, as had his eyes a softness about them, even though the brows above were shaggy, giving the impression of austerity.
‘I—I don’t feel t-too good, Jake,’ she admitted and, to her utter dismay, she started to cry.
‘Dominie...’ His arms came around her. ‘My dear child—’ He broke off, turning, then fell back from Dominie as Sylvia approached, followed by her parents.
‘I hope we’re not intruding.’ Sylvia’s silky voice contained a curious note as she glanced from Dominie, whose head was turned away, to Jake who, having made a swift recovery, smiled and stepped forward to where Mrs. and Mrs. Fortescue had stopped, their eyes questioning and, in the case of Mr. Fortescue, faintly apologetic. ‘I say, I hope we’re not unwelcome, Jake—’
‘Indeed no,’ was the gracious reply. ‘Do come in and have a drink.’
‘As you probably know, Rohan was called away yesterday morning, and as we had an early dinner we thought we’d just stroll along here and say good evening.’
‘Rohan was called away?’ echoed Dominie, turning swiftly after dabbing at her eyes.
Jake nodded.
‘He rang through early yesterday morning to tell me.’
‘You never mentioned this,’ interrupted Dominie in a sort of breathless haste. ‘I—I didn’t know.’
Sylvia eyed her arrogantly.
‘Was there any special reason why you should know?’ she asked.
Dominie was saved an answer by the intervention of Jake, apologizing for not mentioning to her that Rohan had been called away, but adding,
‘I didn’t think it important. He said he had some urgent business to attend to in New York after having received a phone call from his agents here in St. Thomas.’ Dismissing the matter of Rohan’s absence without the least inkling of the relief he had brought to Dominie, Jake made for the house, accompanied by the Fortescues, while Sylvia lagged behind with Dominie who herself would have kept up with the others but in politeness kept pace with Sylvia. Immediately she saw that the others were out of earshot Sylvia spoke.
‘I didn’t know that you and Jake were in love. When’s the wedding?’
Dominie’s mouth tightened.
‘Jake and I are not in love.’
‘No?’ Sylvia was in the shadows cast by the palms, but Dominie sensed the widening of her eyes. ‘You allow men to make love to you, when you’re not in love with them! Oh, I know it’s the fashion these days, but I never could do anything before marriage.’
Silence, the silence of white-hot fury. Dominie would never know how she prevented herself from slapping the girl’s face. Instead she said quiveringly, ‘Are you always so disgustingly outspoken, Miss Fortescue?’
Sylvia feigned a sort of injured surprise, appearing to be taken aback.
‘What have I said, Miss Worthing? You were in Jake’s arms, and he was calling you dear, so I naturally thought—’
‘His actual words were, “my dear child”!’ snapped Dominie, increasing her pace.
‘I naturally thought,’ continued Sylvia, ignoring the interruption, ‘that there was something between you.’
Choking with fury, Dominie decided on a strategic retreat, before that fury broke all bounds. She slipped through an opening in the hedge and was already in the house when the other four arrived. She went straight up to her room, to be quiet and settle her nerves. Soon her thoughts had switched from the objectionable girl down below to Rohan, and her spirits lightened. He had rung early, perhaps hoping she herself would answer the phone, as Jake was still not getting up until the children had gone off to school. But Jake was up earlier than usual yesterday and must have answered the phone while she was upstairs getting the children ready. Rohan would not ask for her, in case Jake suspected something, but he would naturally take it for granted that Jake would mention the call, and the reason for it. How upset he would be when she told him of these two days of misery she had endured. On second thoughts she decided not to tell him, for there was nothing to be gained by causing him pangs of remorse.
Crossing over to the mirror, she took up a comb and proceeded to put her short curls into order after the touselling they had received from the breeze just now. Her eyes looked back at her from the mirror. They were clearer now, being no longer shadowed with doubts as to why her fiancé had failed to contact her. How long would he be away? If it were to be more than a few days then surely he would write. The thought of a letter brought to mind the one she had received that day from Erica and, sliding forward the drawer of her dressing-table, she took it out, opening the folded sheets and flicking back the first page to read again part of the second.
‘How is Jake how? I was so glad to read in your letter that he is improving all the time. I think about him a great deal these days—much more than I did when Doreen was living, for then it hurt, Dominie, so very much. I had no idea they were separated and I used to avoid thoughts of Jake simply because I could not separate him from his wife. I wish I could have met him again, just to see how he looked, after seven years. Perhaps I shall manage another trip some day. You say in your letter that he now knows I was at Sunset Lodge. Give him my regards, please, Dominie, and for yourself—thank you, and God bless.’
Slowly Dominie folded the sheets again and returned them to the drawer, blinking rapidly, just as she had on reading the passage for the first time. As requested she had passed on Erica’s message, but apart from a comment to say that it was kind of her Jake had betrayed no interest whatsoever.
With a deep sigh Dominie left her room and joined the others downstairs. On entering the sitting-room she received an anxious, inquiring glance from Jake and smiled at him reassuringly, silently telling him she was all right now. From Mr. and Mrs. Fortescue she received distinctly odd glances, while that from Sylvia appeared to be one of triumph. Triumph? thought Dominie with a frown. But then she shrugged, dismissing it as unimportant, as she was more interested in learning when Rohan was expected back from his business trip.
She put the question casually to Mr. Fortescue, in a quiet voice while Sylvia and her mother were talking to Jake, but Sylvia’s ears were sharp and she turned her head, eyes narrowing. But of course she made no comment when her father replied to Dominie’s question, although Dominie knew for sure that had they been alone the girl would pertly have asked the reason for Dominie’s interest. What a shock she was going to receive when the engagement was announced, thought Dominie, and, because she was only human after all, she could not help but admit that she was going to enjoy the girl’s chagrin and discomfiture.
When at length Sylvia and her parents left Jake naturally returned to the subject of Dominie’s tears.
‘I was feeling off-colour and depressed,’ she said, and gave a little deprecating laugh, just for effect. ‘It was stupid of me, and I’m perfectly all right now.’
He still looked anxious.
‘You’re sure? You’re not the kind who cries for nothing, Dominie.’
‘I—I suppose it was—thoughts,’ she murmured, unable to find anything more convincing to say.
‘Thoughts?’ he frowned, leaning back in his chair and regarding her through kindly eyes. ‘Your brothe
r?’
‘Well ... not exactly,’ she began, unable to lie outright. But Jake seized on her hesitancy, taking it for granted that she had in fact been troubled by thoughts of Jerry.
‘Let me take you out,’ he said impulsively. ‘Come, put on something pretty and we’ll go dancing!’
‘It’s late—’
‘But not too late. Go on, put on that dream of a gown you wore the first time Rohan invited us out.’
‘Really, Jake—’
‘No argument!’
‘One or other of the children might wake.’
‘And if they do? There are plenty of servants in the house. Molly will look to them. Off you go, and change.’
‘You should be resting.’
‘I’ve rested enough. An hour out will do me good.’
Jake took her to the Virgin Isle where they danced to the steel band and then sat with their drinks and watched the limbo dancers performing with flares in their mouths which ignited the bar under which they had to pass.
‘Well, Dominie,’ Jake asked as they drove away from the hotel at midnight, ‘did that take your mind off things?’
She said, a little wistfully, because she was thinking all at once of Erica,
‘You’re so kind, Jake ... so very kind.’
She saw him shrug his shoulders. She wondered if he were thinking of his wife, and recalling that she did not consider him kind—or if she did, she had no desire to be the recipient of that kindness.
‘It’s sweet of you to say so, my dear,’ he said at last with a small sigh.
‘Do you—do you often feel lonely, Jake?’ The question came hesitantly, but she saw at once that he did not resent her familiarity.
‘A man on his own does,’ he admitted. ‘It was grim when the children were in England with their mother. I used to visit my sister in Florida now and then, and she would visit me, but apart from her, I felt I had no one of my own.’