by Anne Hampson
‘Nothing.’ The one word was no more than a whisper, but he heard it and, turning, made to leave the bower. ‘Your ring,’ she said, feeling somehow that she must not on any account allow him to go without it. The return of it would finalize the separation—immutably. Bending, she picked it up, but in her nervousness she let it fall again, this time into the stony earth round the bole of a tree. As she bent again to retrieve it she saw a perfectly-shod foot come close to her hand and as she watched, the lovely ring was ground into the soil between the protruding roots of the tree.
The next moment she was alone, the ring in her hand, the gold twisted but the diamond glittering in the sun. Dominie’s tears flowed to mingle with the soil adhering to the setting, and the mud thus made trickled through her fingers. She wiped them on her dress, unthinkingly and, dropping the ring into her pocket, she left the bower and walked slowly back to the house.
Jake was waiting, his face drawn and haggard.
‘You did it, then. I knew by the way Rohan drove off. He didn’t come in, of course,’ he added, shaking his head. ‘Dominie, how could you?’
‘There was no other way, Jake. It wouldn’t have worked out.’
‘You’ve broken him in two.’
‘He’ll forget, in time.’
‘I don’t profess to know just how deeply he loved you, Dominie, but I do know that Rohan would have to be able to give his all before he’d ask a woman to be his wife.’
Her face puckered at this.
‘I know,’ she whispered, and the next moment she was in Jake’s arms, weeping against his breast.
‘Hush ... hush, child. Why—oh, why don’t you have a little sense!’
He dried her tears, then held her to him again. And it was at that moment that Rohan returned, coming quietly on to the patio after leaving his car at the end of the drive. He stood in the open window and watched the swift drawing apart of Jake and Dominie.
‘So this is how it is,’ he said, his voice like a whiplash despite its quietness. ‘Sylvia told me there was something between you, but I didn’t believe her when she said she saw you together. I’ve now seen you for myself.’ Scornfully he flicked them in turn. ‘Forgive me for intruding,’ he said, and went back the way he had come.
‘Rohan—!’ called Jake, but he walked straight on, without even turning his head. ‘What a damnable situation!’
‘I’m terribly sorry, Jake. What a mess I’ve made of everything,’ she cried in anguish. ‘I’ve come between you and Rohan—’
‘That’ll soon be put right, so don’t add to your heartache by unnecessary self-blame.’ He stopped and listened to the sound of Rohan’s car as the engine caught. ‘He came back to try again,’ said Jake when the engine presently purred away to silence. ‘He wasn’t willing to accept your explanation. I warned you it would be like that.’
She closed her eyes tightly, but the tears trickled from beneath her lashes. Rohan had come back ... He would have persisted until her defence had cracked. Yes, she knew it without any measure of doubt. Had Rohan found her alone he would not have left until the whole story was out.
‘You’re going to tell him the truth, straight away?’
Dominie imagined Jake would waste no time in getting Rohan on the telephone, once he had estimated he would have arrived back home.
‘The truth?’
‘I mean about us—you and me.’
‘Of course. I’m not adding to his misery by allowing him to harbour the mistaken belief that I’m the reason for your breaking the engagement.’
Dominie hesitated.
‘If you could wait, just a little while...?’
‘Wait?’ he frowned. ‘Wait for what?’ Clearly he was impatient with her, and she could not blame him.
‘I do realize that you’re anxious to disillusion him as regards any conclusions he has reached about you and me. But if you tell him the truth now he’s bound to come here to see me immediately.’
Jake looked hard at her, into those misted eyes that were shadowed with pain.
‘And you feel that if he does come back you’ll not be able to maintain your present attitude?’
She nodded and admitted that this was true.
‘He might, as you said, coerce me into telling him the truth.’
‘It amazes me that he hasn’t already done that.’
Automatically Dominie fingered her arms, wondering if she would see bruises when she took off her blouse.
‘He—he was far from gentle,’ she owned, her lips quivering.
Jake’s eyes softened.
‘I sincerely wish I’d never been rash enough to make that promise,’ he said, but on noting her expression he went on to assure her that he would never break it.
‘And you’ll wait, just a little while, before telling him that there’s nothing between you and me?’
‘He’s my very good friend. Dominie. I can’t allow him to be hurt any more than he is. Have you thought of the blow to his pride—the knowledge that you prefer an old man with two children to him?’
‘I’ve thought of that, yes, but I’d feel safer if you do allow him to think it, just until I get away from here.’ It escaped her that the polite response to Jake’s words would be an instant denial that he was old; and by the time it did strike her the appropriate moment of voicing the denial had passed.
‘Until you get away from here,’ repeated Jake, looking hard at her. ‘Hasn’t it occurred to you that, once Rohan is put in possession of the truth regarding you and me, he’s very likely to follow you to England and demand the very explanation that you’re fearing at the present time?’
‘It has occurred to me,’ she owned, but went on to say that it was most unlikely that Rohan would do so. ‘The very fact of my leaving here will be proof and enough that I want nothing more to do with him. Rohan would therefore never lower his pride and come and beg me to take him back.’
Jake was deep in reflection, as he so often was, and although Dominie did wonder what he could be pondering so carefully at a time like this, she fell silent and waited patiently for him to make up his mind about her request. Suddenly she saw his eyes widen, then his lids came down as he noticed her gaze fixed on his face.
‘All right,’ he agreed with a lack of reluctance that amazed her. ‘Yes, Dominie, I’ll keep quiet until you’ve left the island.’
She eyed him with suspicion.
‘You don’t seem to mind that I’m leaving?’
‘Of course I mind,’ he retorted roughly. ‘But as you’re quite determined to do so there’s no point in my wasting time in trying to prevent you. You’re throwing Rohan over and so obviously you want to avoid the inevitable meeting up with him which would occur were you to remain on the island.’
Dominie was still suspicious. There was something about Jake that she did not understand.
‘And when I’ve left—you won’t give away my secret to Rohan? Promise, Jake, for he must never know that I caused that accident.’
Jake looked unflinchingly into her eyes.
‘I make you a solemn promise that I shall never mention a word of what I know, to Rohan.’
‘Thank you,’ she said with relief. ‘I—I never really believed you’d let me down.’ She managed a fluttering smile and Jake responded.
‘I have work to do,’ he said abruptly as Dominie would have spoken again. ‘Excuse me, dear. I’ll be in my study for about an hour.’
‘No more,’ she warned, ‘or I shall be there to bring you out. You’re still supposed to be resting.’
Nodding, he left her. She stared at the closed door and frowned.
There was still something about Jake that she did not understand.
CHAPTER TEN
Within a week Dominie was ready to leave St. Thomas. Jake had seemed almost eager for her to go, a circumstance which was puzzling in the extreme, and one which naturally hurt her despite the fact of her wishing to leave as soon as possible.
‘I’ve sent a cable to Erica,’ h
e told her only a few hours after Rohan’s unforgettable visit. ‘I’ve asked her to take over the post of nanny to the children.’
‘She’ll accept it,’ Dominie assured him, and she was right. Erica sent an air-mail letter saying she was arranging to lease her flat and store her car, and then she would be right over. She wrote another letter to Dominie, asking why she was leaving her job, but for the present Dominie left the letter unanswered.
‘She says she’ll come for a six-month trial,’ Jake told Dominie. ‘I hope we’ll all get along all right.’
‘I’m sure you will.’ Six months ... Surely Jake would fall in love long before the end of that time.
‘You needn’t wait until she arrives,’ said Jake, seeming deliberately to avoid her eyes. ‘Molly can manage for a couple of weeks.’
‘Thank you, Jake. She supposed one of the reasons for Jake’s urgency was that he desired to let Rohan know as soon as possible that there was nothing between him and Dominie. Another reason could be that he was finding it a strain to keep her departure secret from his friends. His embarrassment had been plain a couple of days after her decision was made when, on bumping into the Osbornes when he and Dominie were shopping in Charlotte Amalie, Mrs. Osborne had invited them to a barbecue which was being held in their grounds a fortnight later. Unable to say that Dominie was returning to England, owing to the certainty that this would swiftly get to Rohan’s ears, Jake had thanked Mrs. Osborne for the invitation and said that he and Dominie would be there.
‘When I’ve left,’ said Dominie apologetically when the Osbornes had gone, ‘you can say that I was called away urgently owing to a personal problem having cropped up at home.’
Jake had merely nodded, but looked harassed. Feeling guilty, Dominie had thanked him for his patience and co-operation, but once again received no response.
‘Can I take you out to dinner tomorrow evening?’ Jake asked two days before her departure. ‘We’ll not stay out late, seeing that you have to be away so early on the following morning.’
She agreed and they went to Bluebeard’s Castle which, Dominie soon realized, was not a good choice, since it brought back memories of the several occasions when she had lunched and dined there with Rohan. However, she tried to look bright, and to eat her food, for Jake’s benefit, and she felt that she had succeeded, for she even managed to laugh at something he had said. When the meal was over they went outside for a while, looking down over the beautiful harbour of Charlotte Amalie, with its twinkling lights sweeping back from the shore and in the harbour itself the shimmering wide ribbon of silver which was the reflection of the illumination of a cruise ship anchored there.
‘Do you want to dance?’ Jake put the question hesitantly, aware of how Dominie must be feeling.
But she agreed and they went to the terrace, where an orchestra was playing. A short while later they were having a quiet drink when Jake said,
‘I’ve just spotted two people I knew a long while ago when I lived in New York. They must be here on holiday—perhaps they’ve come on the cruise ship. Do you mind if I go and have a few words with them?’
She smiled and said no, of course she didn’t mind, and as her eyes were following him as he walked away she failed to see Rohan and Sylvia come and occupy a table at the other side of her. But she had not been alone many minutes when she glanced up to see Rohan standing there, faultlessly attired in white jacket and tie, and looking unfamiliarly pale around the mouth.
Her heart fluttered; her lips formed a nervous ‘hello’, but no sound issued from them. The amber eyes, strangely gleaming yellow in the soft artificial light, remained on her unblinkingly for a long moment before Rohan said, in tones as crisp as frost,
‘Shall we dance, Dominie?’
Startled by the invitation, she rose mechanically, only to discover that her legs were like jelly beneath her. A swift glance around and she saw Sylvia, sitting alone, her eyes brittle, her pretty mouth pursed and her wide brow darkly furrowed.
‘I—I—if you d-don’t mind I’d rather not—’ But Dominie was already in Rohan’s arms and being swung away from her table. After a little while she ventured a glance from under her lashes; Rohan’s face was an unsmiling mask, but when she examined the expression in his eyes her heart twisted in pain. He must be the most unhappy man present tonight, as she was the most unhappy woman. Fate ... Tears gathered in her eyes and she looked down, at the lapel of his jacket. He must not see those tears; she must be free to keep firmly to her resolve. Should he note her unhappiness he would without mercy force the truth from her. And he’d then say it didn’t matter what she had done because it hadn’t been her fault. The result would be that he would persuade her to marry him—oh yes, she admitted to herself that she would not be able to resist him, to combat his forceful personality—and for a while they would be deliriously happy. But when the first romantic weeks and months had passed he would begin to think, and to remember that his wife had killed his sister...
Dominie thought, ‘The romance wouldn’t ever pass, so why don’t I take a chance?’ But the next second she was telling herself firmly that no matter how deep Rohan’s love for her might be, no matter how enduring, he must inevitably reach a point where memory brought back again and again the hateful truth. If only she herself could have kept the secret, could have married Rohan without his ever learning who she was, then there would never have been this unsurmountable barrier between them. But she could not; she knew herself too well to be deceived into the fact that she could live a lie. It would not be living a lie, Jake had maintained, but Dominie had her own high ideals and values, and to her way of thinking a deliberate suppression of the truth was tantamount to living a lie.
‘Aren’t you going to say anything to me, Dominie?’ Rohan’s quiet, accented voice cut into her thoughts and she glanced up at him.
‘Is there anything to say?’ she prevaricated, nerves tensed as with a turning of her head she sought the table to which Jake had gone. If only the music would stop, and if only Jake were there when it did—she would ask him to take her home at once.
‘I suppose not,’ with a sort of cold finality that made her wince with pain. ‘No, I suppose there isn’t anything more for you and me to say to one another.’ He looked down and she saw the quiver to his mouth. ‘Do you want me to take you back to your table?’
‘Please.’
He escorted her back and then left her without a word. Tightly she gripped her hands together, inwardly crying out to herself. Why couldn’t she take a chance! Why ... why!
Within a fortnight of arriving home she was working in an office, and trying to settle into a routine similar to that which she had known before taking that fateful cruise. Mavis and James had found a suitable house to buy just a week prior to Dominie’s return and as they would be leaving her in about a month’s time she decided she must be thinking about advertising for someone else to share her home, for the swiftly-rising expenses entailed in the running of it were more than she could manage alone.
Mavis had been curious regarding her sudden decision to come home, but at least Dominie was saved any embarrassing questions regarding her engagement, as she had not mentioned it in her letters to Mavis, deciding that she would do so only when the engagement was announced. How odd, Dominie mused one day when she was sitting alone having her tea in the neat little kitchen which in her absence Mavis had kept as immaculate as ever, that she had so many times had doubts and forebodings about the future. Like any other engaged girl she had tried to visualize her wedding day—the lovely white gown and the flower-bedecked church; the organ and the choir, the reception afterwards ... and then the longed-for moment of finding herself alone with her husband ... None of this could be brought into focus; a shadow always appeared and blotted it out. Obviously she had had a premonition of what was to happen; subconsciously she had known all along that something would occur to prevent the marriage taking place.
Little had she thought that she herself would be the one to
break the engagement, forced to do so by the discovery that she was the woman responsible for the accident that had robbed Rohan of the sister he so dearly loved.
With a little sob she rose and, picking up the kettle, poured more water on to the tea-leaves already in the pot. It was Saturday afternoon and Mavis and James had gone off early, intending to spend the day in the garden of their new house, for the builders had left it in a most untidy state.
‘We won’t be back until dark,’ Mavis had told her and Dominie had looked forward to a lonely day. She had tried to take her mind off her misery by finding work to do about the house; she had gone out and done some unnecessary shopping at the supermarket, buying for both the coming week and the next. And now she was trying to eat food for which she had no appetite at all. If only she could stop thinking of Rohan, then life would be much more bearable, but always it was his beloved face that rose between her and any other picture she might try to bring to mind. Even when Erica or Jake or the children intruded Rohan was always there too. Erica ... She would be on the island by now—settled in, in fact. Dominie recalled the lightness she had experienced when Erica had first visited Sunset Lodge; she knew now that it had resulted from the conviction that Erica and Jake would eventually get together. Well, in all probability they would get together, now that Erica was living in Jake’s house. Dominie sincerely hoped they would be happy, for Erica had waited so long—
Her musings came to an abrupt halt as a car door slammed at the end of the short path leading to the lane. Rising, she went to the window; her eyes dilated and unconsciously she pressed a hand against her heart.
‘Rohan!’ Her heart thudded beneath her hand. Was he real?
He was striding towards the side door of the house, his eyes scanning the ground-floor windows as he did so. On seeing her he turned again, took some money from his pocket and paid the taxi driver, then came towards the door again. The knocker fell as she was about to open the door and she jumped nervously. What could he want? Had he learned the truth? Had Jake broken his promise—?