by Selena Kitt
“That was punishment?” Leah smirked.
“No, those were my sins.” She took another vicious bite of her apple. “You and my dad together—that’s my punishment.”
Leah sat back in the chair, stunned. “Oh, Erica… no...”
“Yeah, that’s what my dad said too.” She snorted, chewing noisily. “But after I confessed to Father Michael, I knew it was true. I’m being punished for all the bad things we’ve done.”
Putting her hands to her cheeks, Leah shook her head. “Erica… first of all, why would God punish you for what… what I did with your dad?”
“God works in mysterious ways.” She sighed.
“I feel awful for hurting you.” Leah’s cheeks burned even under the cool wetness of her fingers. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I can’t explain it and I don’t have any excuses.”
She rolled her eyes, biting into her apple. “You sound just like him.”
“Who?”
“My dad,” she replied through a mouthful of fruit. “That’s just what he said… except then he told me he was in love with you.”
Leah’s heart leapt in her chest. “He did?”
“Yeah.” She snorted. “My dad in love with my best friend. How is this not some sort of punishment?”
Leah felt tears stinging her eyes and blinked them back. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“How am I supposed to feel?” Erica slid off the counter, tossing the apple core into the garbage and flopping onto a kitchen chair, arms crossed. “You’re fucking my dad!”
Leah nodded, feeling the weight of it in her chest. “I know how it looks… but Erica… it’s not like that...”
Erica frowned. “Don’t tell me… you’re in love with him too?”
“Yes,” Leah whispered miserably, the tears she’d been holding back starting to fall. She couldn’t stop them.
Erica’s face softened when she saw Leah’s tears and, leaning forward, she took her friend’s hand in hers. “Leah, you know you’re like my sister… and we’ve been best friends forever...”
“I know,” Leah sobbed, her tears wetting her already soaked blouse. “And I don’t want to lose you.”
Erica sighed. “I don’t want to lose you either.”
“But I don’t know what to do.” Leah’s eyes searched her face. “I love him, Erica. I really love him… but I was so afraid you wouldn’t understand...”
Erica squeezed her hand. “I don’t know if I do understand. I thought I knew what love was… with Bobby...” Now she was crying too, lip quivering again. “But I obviously don’t mean that much to him...”
“He’s a jerk.” Leah nudged Erica’s knees with hers.
“He doesn’t love me,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I know that now.”
“I’m sorry.” Leah was really crying now and so was Erica.
Erica slid to the floor and put her head on Leah’s lap. “I was so mad at you...”
“I know.” Leah’s hand moved her friend’s wet hair off of her cheek.
“I wanted to hate you.” Erica went on. “I wanted to hate you both—but I couldn’t. I love you too much. You know that right?”
“I do now,” Leah choked out, stroking her hair, her back. “I love you too, you know.”
Erica drew a shaky breath, rubbing her cheek against Leah’s bare thigh. “I know. Do you know how I know?”
“How?” she whispered. Erica’s lips touched Leah’s skin, warm and soft, and she shivered.
“Because you didn’t tell me. You tell me everything.” Erica murmured, looking up at her. “You were both protecting me.” Leah held her arms out and they hugged. Leah sank to the floor beside her friend and they held on, both of them crying.
“You must really love him,” Erica said into Leah’s ear.
“I know it seems wrong,” Leah whispered, holding Erica tight. “But it feels so right. I don’t understand it.”
“God works in mysterious ways, I guess.” Erica squeezed her hard.
Leah sat back, frowning. “Do you really think we’re being punished?”
“I don’t know.” Erica sighed.
“I can’t help how I feel.” Leah pleaded at her friend with her eyes, feeling the tremble in her mouth.
Erica nodded. “I know. Come on, let’s go get changed and get warm.”
It felt like old times, like nothing had ever come between them, as they stripped out of their wet clothes and pulled on warm, long, flannel nightgowns and climbed, still shivering, into Erica’s bed to snuggle under the covers.
“No more movies okay?” Erica touched her forehead to Leah’s.
“Okay.” Leah readily agreed.
Being exposed to the secrets under Mr. Nolan’s bed had opened a world Leah never knew existed, and like Pandora’s box, she knew it couldn’t be closed again. In some ways she was grateful. If they’d never gone exploring, things never would have developed the way they had with Erica’s dad—and she couldn’t regret that. But if agreeing with Erica would heal things between them, she would do it without a second thought.
“No more anything.” Erica’s lower lip trembled as she said it. “I’m done with all of it.”
Leah tucked a still-wet strand of blond hair behind her ears. “I’m sorry about Bobby.”
“Me too.” She stuck her chin out, defiant, looking for all the world just like she had when she was younger. “His loss.”
“It is,” Leah agreed, stroking Erica’s cheek.
“He’s telling everyone I put out.”
Leah gaped. “What?”
“He’s got Buddy Crenshaw and Rodney Emerson telling everyone they all did it with me.”
“No!” Leah gaped at her. She hadn’t heard anything, but she’d been in her own little world.
“Ironic, isn’t it?” Erica smirked. “When I was doing it with Bobby, no one knew. Now that I’m not doing anything, I’m going to get a reputation.”
“He really broke up with you just because you said no?”
Erica shook her head. “He broke up with me because Yvonne Livingston said yes.”
The whole world felt as if it had turned upside down. Leah couldn’t imagine life without Bobby Harris and Erica Nolan as a couple. They’d been dating practically as long as she and Erica had been friends.
“I never liked her,” Leah said. “I knew she was trouble.”
“So did I.” Erica sighed. “But that’s over. I’m going to be good from now on.”
Leah tried to hide her smile. “Erica, we’re skipping school.”
“Well maybe not that good.” She giggled. “Besides, I have to have something to confess to Father Michael.”
“Speaking of confession...” Leah closed her eyes, swallowing hard. “I have to tell you something.”
“What?”
“Your dad knows I know about the darkroom.”
Erica’s eyes widened. “He knows?”
“That’s how it all started with us. Me and him. I saw the darkroom was open one night when I got up to use the bathroom. And he was there.”
“He didn’t get mad?”
“Not mad exactly.” Leah half-smiled at the memory. “Concerned, I’d say. But we haven’t really talked about it since. Things just happened and then they… kind of snowballed...”
“Does he know I know?”
Leah shrugged. “I don’t think so.”
“You didn’t tell him anything did you?” Erica’s eyes widened. “About watching movies together? About Handy Hannah? About us? Oh God...”
“What kind of friend do you think I am?” Leah huffed.
“The best kind.” Erica slipped an arm around her neck. “The best ever.”
“I missed you.” Leah kissed her, the soft press of their lips, the sweet apple smell of her breath, all of it filling her senses.
Erica stiffened in her arms, pulling away and looking at her for a moment. “I meant it, Leah. No more.”
“Okay.”
“Let’s
take a nap.” Erica turned away, toward the wall.
Leah touched her shoulder. “Is everything all right?”
“No.” Erica sighed, finally relenting, pulling Leah’s arm over her, like she always did, twining fingers with her under the blankets. “Yes. No. I don’t know. Let’s just sleep.”
“Okay.” Leah closed her eyes and listened for the sound of her drifting off, but it was a long time before either of them actually slept.
Chapter Thirteen
The end of the school year trip to Edgewater amusement park and the cruise to Boblo Island the next day had been planned since the beginning of the term, so Leah’s mother couldn’t object when Mr. Nolan offered to chaperone the girls. She certainly couldn’t do it herself, Leah pointed out with a little bit of hidden glee, because they were going on a weekend she had to work.
Both schools were going—Mary Magdalene and St. Casimir. The fundraiser had been so successful (Leah had sold so many raffle tickets she dreamed about it for weeks) the schools had rented out the top two floors of Fort Shelby Hotel—girls on top, boys on the bottom—as a special treat. Erica had made a naughty comment about that and Sister Abigail had overheard and made her wash blackboards for an hour after class.
They had never been caught skipping classes that day, which was a miracle, because all Sister Abigail had to do was check the attendance roster and call home to see if the girls were there. Leah figured she must have been too involved sending half the kindergarten class home with the stomach flu and had forgotten. Mary Magdalene had a strict attendance policy, even for the “college” girls, and still required them to have an excuse from parents for missing classes. It was a good thing Erica had perfected both her father’s and Leah’s mother’s signature, and so far, the notes hadn’t been questioned.
“Patty, it’s Rob… she’s going to stay over here tonight, remember? So we can get an early start tomorrow...”
Leah bit her cuticles and glanced nervously at Erica as she listened to Rob talking to her mom on the phone.
Erica grinned over at Leah and pinched her thigh. “I told you he would get her to agree.”
“Ouch,” Leah protested, shoving Erica’s hand away and straining to hear. Her mother had been adamant lately about limiting her time at the Nolans’, and Leah really didn’t think she was going to relent, even with the trip planned for the next day.
“Great! Thanks, Patty.”
Leah relaxed when she heard the smile in his voice. Her whole body responded to it and she knew he was thinking exactly what she was in that moment.
“That’s right… I’ll bring her home the day after tomorrow, safe and sound.”
Leah couldn’t believe their luck. Donna Dorey was supposed to be in their group too, but she had backed out at the last minute, coming down with scarlet fever, so it would just be Leah, Erica and Mr. Nolan.
“All set!” He smiled at Leah from the doorway. “You’ve got your stuff, don’t you?”
Leah nodded, her eyes meeting his and feeling an electric surge zing through her limbs. She patted the couch beside her and he came to sit between them, putting his arm around Leah and leaning in to give her a kiss. She still felt a little shy around Erica, but she couldn’t resist kissing him back and wanting more. His hand slipped down her waist, squeezing there, and she knew he wanted more too.
“Ok, you two, lay off already!” Erica rolled her eyes.
Mr. Nolan put his arm around Erica’s shoulders and kissed her on the top of the head. “Well, you two better go get all dressed up, because it looks like we’re going out tonight after all.”
Erica frowned up at him. “Are you sure you want me tagging along?”
“Don’t be silly.” Leah reached over to pinch her thigh, like Erica had done to her.
“Somewhere yummy?” Erica stood and stretched, her blouse pulling out of her uniform skirt.
“Yes, somewhere yummy—and expensive.” He leaned back and looked at her as she cocked her hip at him. “Put on the dressiest thing you’ve got, both of you.”
“Yay!” Leah clapped her hands. “Come on, Erica, let’s go get dolled up.”
He stood, giving Leah a hand up. “I have reservations for seven o’clock, ladies, so don’t take too long in the bathroom, all right?”
Erica was already heading toward the hallway and Leah felt Rob’s hand move over her bottom as she slipped by him, giving it a good squeeze. Leah smiled back at him and followed Erica into her room.
“Dressy, something dressy.” Erica flipped through her closet. “Nuh-uh… too prom… too housewife… ugh. I have nothing. We can’t go.”
“What about this?” Leah pulled out shiny red satin dress.
Erica raised an eyebrow at her. “Um, only if you want to wear something that screams ‘I’m a whore’...”
Leah rolled her eyes and hung it back up. “I think you just don’t want to go.”
“I do too!” She folded her arms and leaned against the wall with a scowl. Then her eyes brightened, her face changing. “I’ve got it!”
Erica grabbed her arm and Leah followed her down the hall to the back of the warehouse, near the studio. There were boxes up against the wall and a several racks of clothing, three or four deep back here. Erica started flipping through clothes.
“These were my mother’s.” She pulled out a calf-length, light pink dress. Hemlines were longer back then, but it had spaghetti straps and criss-cross trim over the bodice. The skirt was layered asymmetrically, the underskirt barely coming to mid-thigh and the sheer layers almost touching her knees.
“This is all your mother’s stuff?” Leah sat cross-legged on the floor, looking through a box of photographs. “Hey, here’s your dad in uniform.”
“Wasn’t he handsome?” Erica peered over her shoulder as she stripped down to her underwear. “My mom said he was some sort of secret agent in the war. But shhhh we’re not supposed to tell anybody.”
Leah laughed, looking at the man in the photograph with the shocklingly short flat-top haircut and all the stripes on the front of his uniform. He was younger here, but still older than Leah was now. Somehow, though, the age difference between them never seemed to bother her. It was like they’d known each other forever.
Erica had the dress on and she turned, twirling in it, smiling over at Leah. “Well?”
“It’s adorable,” she said. “You look like a fairy princess.”
“Well, do you see anything you want to wear?” She waved Leah toward the racks of clothes. Leah stood, sifting through the material, soft, silky, velvety, trying to decide.
“Oooohh, look at this one!” Leah pulled out a gorgeous, strapless rust-colored dress, with a ruched bust and empire waist. It seemed familiar, a silk chiffon with a scalloped hem, and the pattern on it was a cross between something oriental and paisley, she couldn’t decide which.
“That’s totally you.” Erica held it up. “Try it on.”
Leah did, straightening the bust, surprised at just how well she filled it out, and asking, “Well?”
“Perfect.” Erica smiled. “My dad is gonna melt into a puddle when he sees you.”
Leah beamed at her and they spent the next hour in the bathroom, putting on make-up, daring to use red lipstick for this occasion, and setting their hair. Leah had a lot more hair to deal with, but Erica took the time to set it in fashionable waves, and when Leah put on heels and looked into the mirror, she really felt all grown-up.
Erica’s blonde hair was finer and shorter than Leah’s, but she had enough for Leah to set in short little curls, which made her look even more pixie-like in her pink fairy dress.
“Let’s go make an entrance.” Erica pulled at her friend’s hand, leading her out of the bathroom.
Leah hesitated. “You first.”
Erica went first and Leah heard Rob gasp and everything went very quiet.
“Daddy?” Erica’s voice trembled.
“Oh my God,” he murmured, and Leah couldn’t help peeking around the corner
to see him coming toward Erica, his gaze sweeping over her. “You look beautiful.” He hugged her, tilting her chin up and kissing her cheek. “You’re as beautiful as your mother in that dress.” He smiled down at her.
“Okay, stop.” Erica pulled away from him. “Before you make me cry and ruin my mascara.”
“Leah?” He looked down the hallway, and Leah came out, careful in her stilettos.