Rolled suddenly on his back at that, Alex had nowhere to hide from the intensity of Sandy’s stare. “You are bound and determined not to let anyone do anything for you, aren’t you?”
“You’re going to get wrinkles if you keep giving me that face, you know.” Alex reached around the powerful arms holding him down to touch Sandy’s face, first tracing the deep grooves between Sandy’s perfect eyebrows, then the lines bracketing his suddenly stern mouth.
“Don’t try to change the subject, Valentine. I know you’ve got your reasons, but let me help.”
The effect of those dark eyes on Alex was powerful. They made him want to do or say whatever it took made Sandy happy. But he needed to do what was right for him, too. “Sandy, it’s just… I have to start doing some things for myself. You know?”
“I know you do. And you’re already doing more for yourself, every day. It’s not weakness to let your friends help you out, you know. It’s like me and the guys: we all help each other. Sometimes I need a hand, sometimes it might be you; but we’re there for each other. I want to be there for you, Alex. Let me. Please.”
The seconds ticked by as Alex searched for an argument Sandy would respect. He didn’t have Sandy’s years of military training. All he had was whatever brains and instincts he’d been born with, and the survival techniques he’d picked up along the way. The trouble was, Alex couldn’t rely on his instincts when it came to Sandy. When his wants dovetailed so perfectly with what Sandy was asking him to do, how could he possibly trust himself to do the right thing?
“Yo, D’abu! Your ten’s up. Can we get it in gear, you think?”
Sandy didn’t so much as blink in acknowledgement of Naslund’s plea. Just watched Alex and waited.
Chapter 16
“So then D’abu tells the guy, ‘Better make those orders To Go’.”
Sandy laughed as hard as anyone, regardless of the fact that the joke was on him. You wouldn’t know it to look at him, but Vilnius was a funny little sonofabitch. Something about the freckles and red hair gave him an innocent look that let him get away with things he probably shouldn’t and the group was having a good chuckle at Sandy’s expense.
Sandy didn’t care -- he had broad shoulders.
Besides, he felt great. Their first multi-trip contract secured and the crew was celebrating. Surrounded by friends, drinks flowing freely, Sandy was relaxed and nothing could piss him off tonight.
Leaning over, he spoke quietly in Alex’s ear. “How’re you doing? Want something else to drink?”
“No, I’m okay.” When he drew back to look at Sandy, Alex’s smile was a glorious thing, carefree and sweet. If Sandy thought he detected a warmth in those beautiful blue eyes, no one else had to know. It was his own little fantasy, to nurture as he pleased. “How about you? How are you doing?”
“I’m doing great.” As he again whispered in Alex’s ear, this time the nearness of Alex’s neck, bared and vulnerable, drew Sandy irresistibly. He leaned further and took a bite, holding on briefly before trailing kisses up the length of Alex’s neck.
“Stop that! People are looking.”
Alex sounded scandalized and Sandy had to laugh. The man could work nightly in what amounted to a high class brothel, watching every sex act imaginable until he’d become virtually immune to shock, but an innocent kiss or two on the neck had him gasping in distress. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. No one cares.”
“Jeez, D’abu. Get a room, would you, you two?” Again, Vilnius’ air of aggrieved propriety made Sandy smile.
Once it started, of course, Naslund couldn’t resist chiming in. “God, first Sarhaan and Cal, now you. What is it about this boat? How come everybody on it’s getting laid but me?”
Gaze pinned on Sandy, obviously distressed, Alex froze at Sandy’s side. Damn mess hall chairs kept him from pulling Alex closer -- why had he never noticed the pressing need for booths before? Draping his arm protectively across Alex’s shoulders would have to do. “Fuck off, Naslund. Seriously, if you can’t get laid on Doradus, there’s something tragically wrong with you.”
Vilnius laughed along. “Yeah. Deeply disturbed.”
“Maybe if I didn’t spend three out of every four cycles stuck on this fucking ship I could make some progress. I didn’t see anything happening for you until you got left behind this last go-‘round.” Rocked back on two legs, Naslund balanced his chair while holding a beer in one hand and the table with the other. Nas’ general lack of stature and complete absence of body fat ensured he was usually the winner in the race to get hammered, although Cal occasionally gave him a run for his money, and tonight was no exception.
“Children, children, settle down. Play nicely or I’ll be forced to separate you.” When had Sarhaan arrived? Late as usual, with Caleb still straightening his clothes and hair mussed, they might as well have been wearing a sign. Shuffling chairs, the group made room around the table for Cal and Sarhaan. “Alex. Good to see you. I’m glad you could join us.”
An adorable blush flushing his cheeks a deeper pink than usual, Alex smiled shyly, acknowledging the comment before looking away. Sandy wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes. “Me, too. You wouldn’t believe what it took. I practically had to hog-tie him to get him here.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, D’abu. Keep your kinks to yourself, would you?” Naslund looked equal parts repelled and fascinated.
Sandy laughed. “Spite and jealousy, Naslund. Nothing but spite and jealousy.”
“Hi, Alex. I’m glad Sandy talked you into coming aboard.” Settled in next to Sarhaan, Caleb looked relaxed and happy -- content with who and where he was. His welcoming attitude toward Alex made Sandy even more disposed to like him than usual.
“Thanks.” Again, Alex smiled briefly and looked down, fiddling with the edge of the buttoned tunic he wore.
Sandy cocked his head a bit, trying to figure out what was going on with Alex. He knew everyone at the table. Hell, he’d met them all dozens of times at Nelly’s. Waited on them. Shot the shit, exchanging banter and insults in equal amounts. So what was up with the blushes and shy glances?
“Alex?” Angling his body a bit, Sandy threaded his hand through Alex’s hair, gently encouraging Alex to raise his chin a bit. When he finally raised his gaze to meet Sandy’s, the blue of Alex’s eyes, the wounded soul he saw there, sobered Sandy instantly. “What is it, baby?”
Shaking his head mutely, Alex stared back, silently pleading.
But for what?
“Want to leave?” Sandy was vaguely aware of the hum of conversation continuing without them, but he didn’t waste another moment’s thought on it. His friends would understand.
“It’s up to you. Whatever you want.”
Still lost in the incredible blue of Alex’s eyes, Sandy leaned closer until his forehead touched Alex’s. Stealing a quick kiss, he took another read of Alex’s eyes before turning back to the group. “Listen, as fun as this has been, we’ve got to go.”
Naslund opened his mouth, only to turn on Cal, seated next to him. “Ow! What was that for? Fuck.”
Caleb didn’t spare Nas a glance, just smiled at Sandy and Alex. “See you guys later, then.”
Relaxed, his arm slung comfortably across Caleb’s shoulders, Sarhaan echoed Caleb’s words. “Yeah, catch you later.”
“Alex?” Sandy stood, holding Alex’s chair for him. Alex rose, relief plain on his beautiful face.
Once out of the mess and headed down the hall toward his quarters, Alex stopped, tugging on Sandy’s arm. “Listen, if you want to stay…” Alex shrugged. “Don’t worry about me. Go back and hang out. I’ll be fine on my own.”
“It’s no big deal. I’ve seen way more of those guys than I ever wanted to -- the past few months, especially. If you’re done, that’s fine with me.”
“You’re not just saying that, are you? Because you would, I know you.”
Dressed in his characteristic black, Alex’s eyes stood out against his pale
skin, their naturally dark lashes framing the blue of his eyes. Sandy wanted to pull him close for a kiss; to run a hand down to caress the firm backside he knew lurked beneath the artfully draped clothes Alex wore like a disguise.
“I have to choose between a smoky room, filled with a bunch of smelly, drunken coworkers, versus going back to my room with a good-looking armful of man that I’m crazy about? Gee, let me think.”
Alex ducked his head again.
“Alex?”
“You don’t have to say things like that, Sandy.”
Touching Alex’s face, Sandy brushed back the hair that had fallen over Alex’s eye. “Let me guess. You’re talking about the ‘good-looking’ part? Or the ‘crazy about’ part?”
Alex glanced around and Sandy tried to see it through Alex’s eyes. A warship, utilitarian and stark, but home now. The bulkheads, a dull, gunmetal gray, the deck, a dark, metallic-looking grating, as synthetic as the air they breathed, it wasn’t much to offer someone looking to build a new future.
“I have a mirror, Sandy. I know what I look like.”
“Then you must know why I’m attracted to you.” Dropping his arm around Alex’s shoulders again, Sandy got them moving once more in the direction of his cabin.
“Not really.”
“No idea at all?”
“Huh-uh.”
“Alex, Alex, Alex.” The sigh in Sandy’s voice wasn’t feigned.
“What?”
“What am I going to do with you?” They were stopped outside Sandy’s quarters now. Sandy palmed the keypad and let them in.
Alex just shrugged and looked around. Again, not much to offer, but for the moment, it was the best Sandy could do. “I’m no bargain, that’s for sure.”
“Maybe not. But you’re still the only one I want.” Approaching from behind, Sandy rested his hands on Alex’s shoulder, thrilled when Alex neither flinched nor shrugged him off. Sandy took it as a good sign and tried for a little more. “You know what I’d really like?”
Shaking his head, Alex looked over at Sandy’s hand on one shoulder. “To fuck me?”
Sandy flinched at Alex’s matter-of-fact answer. Of course. For too long, that’s all anyone had wanted from him. “Not exactly. Here… would you come lie down with me?”
“Sure. Whatever you want.”
Sandy sighed. He’d get Alex to stop saying that eventually. But first he’d have to change Alex’s way of thinking.
“Would you mind if we took your shirt off first?” Leading Alex to the bed, Sandy sat down, letting Alex stand before him. Sandy rested his hands on Alex’s hips, smiling encouragingly up at his lover.
His face a blank, Alex shook his head again.
Alex was tall and Sandy had to sit up straight to reach the buttons of Alex’s shirt. One by one Sandy slipped his fingers inside and slid a button free, savoring the look on Alex’s face whenever Sandy touched a sensitive spot. “Put your hands on my shoulders?”
Doing as he was bid, Alex placed his hands on Sandy, gazing down as Sandy slowly undid his shirt. Once open, Sandy pushed the two halves apart, running his fingers down the tantalizing trail of dark hair he found there, petting and stroking until he couldn’t stand it any more and had to bury his face in it.
“I’m too hairy. I hate it.”
Pulling Alex closer, into the opening made by his spread thighs, Sandy looked up, brushing his fingers over Alex’s nipples until they tightened into hard little points. “I like it. If you even think about shaving it, or lasering, I’ll…”
“You’ll what?” A small smile threatened to break through Alex’s expression as he gazed down at Sandy.
“I’ll be mad, that’s what. So don’t even think about it.”
“It’s my body. Can’t I shave it if I want to?”
Damn it, Alex was right. Sandy wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist, resting his head against Alex’s stomach. After a moment, Sandy looked up. “Of course you can. You’re right. It’s your body -- do anything you want.”
Taking Sandy’s head in his hands, Alex tilted it back. “You’re a good guy, you know that, Mr. D’abu?”
“Mr. D’abu? No one’s called me that since... since I went into the Marines, probably.”
“Really? What do they call you?”
“D’abu. Chief. Sandy.” Alex was dragging fingernails over Sandy’s buzz-cut hair, sending shivers racing over his scalp and down his spine. He closed his eyes and leaned into it. “A few more that don’t bear repeating. Hey, cut that out.”
“Cut what out?”
“Stop, you know, rubbing me; doing for me. It’s my turn now.” Fighting the melting sensation brought on by Alex’s hands on his hair, Sandy forced his eyes open and attempted a glare.
“Oops. Sorry.”
“You’re not sorry. Look at you.”
“What?”
“Forget it. I’m not falling for the innocent act.”
“Positive?” Alex’s dimple was showing again and the hint of a twinkle was back in his eye. If there’d been a particle of doubt in Sandy’s mind before -- any at all -- it was gone in that moment.
No more hiding from it.
He was utterly, completely in love. “I’m positive. Now, get down here on the bed with me.”
***
“Aren’t you tired? You must be tired. Wouldn’t you like to, I don’t know, catch a nap? I could rub your back for you.” Sandy’s head between his hands, Alex rubbed his thumbs back and forth across the short, bristly hairs at Sandy’s temples.
His eyes half-closed, Sandy sighed. “I gotta tell ya, sleep is the last thing on my mind right now. What would it take to get you down here on the bed? I’d pay extra if the shirt came off.”
Alex paused for a moment, his breath catching in his throat.
Sandy’s eyes flew open. “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“No. No. I know you didn’t. I shouldn’t be so sensitive. I’m sorry, Sandy.” What an idiot. Of course Sandy didn’t mean anything by it. Sandy would never make a deliberately hurtful remark.
“Aw, shit, I’m sorry. That was just stupid. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay. Here, let me lie down.” Quickly slipping his shirt off, Alex laid it down on the nearest chair. The same one he’d slept in last time he visited Sandy, it was big and oversized -- like everything about the man.
One knee and one hand on the bed, a cloud of butterflies exploded in Alex’s stomach. He could really use something about now. Just a little something to keep him loose, relaxed. In the moment instead of in his head, like now, mentally running through a list of his inadequacies.
Looping his arms around Sandy’s neck, Alex swallowed nervously. Sandy put a hand on Alex’s waist and smiled into his eyes. “I’m glad you decided to come, after all. I like having you here.”
Sandy closed his eyes and kissed Alex. Alex let his own eyes drift closed and kissed back, heat blooming in a dozen places. Under his skin. Everywhere their bodies touched. Mostly in his dick, though. Just the feel of Sandy under his hands was amazing. Alex couldn’t get over how much there was of the man, or how beautiful every inch was. Sandy was no dummy. He’d figure out pretty soon that Alex was all flash and no substance. At least when Alex had a little help, he could be funny -- entertaining, even.
“You’re too nice.” Alex pulled back, wanting another look. He couldn’t get over how gorgeous Sandy was. “You let people take advantage of your good nature.”
Sandy’s belly laugh vibrated up Alex’s body. “Oh, yeah. I hear that a lot.”
“They do.” Alex overruled Sandy’s denial. “The team works you to death. You let strays like me take up whatever free time you do get. When do you ever take time for just you? To do what you want to do?”
Suddenly serious, Sandy ran a hand through Alex’s hair before sliding it down to Alex’s ass, pressing their lower bodies together. “Would you believe that’s what I’m doing right now? There’s no place else I’d rather be right now. Alex, wou
ld you—? Here.” Using just his arms, Sandy lifted Alex while sliding under at the same time, until Alex sat atop Sandy. “Much better.”
Sandy smiled up at him, running those big hands up Alex’s arms, down his chest. Alex sucked in a breath when Sandy pinched his nipples.
“Sandy.”
Sliding his hands over Alex’s thighs, Sandy just watched and breathed. “Yeah?”
“Why…?” Alex paused. He had a million questions for Sandy and he wasn’t at all sure he wanted the answers. Why was Sandy wasting time on him, when the guy could have anyone on the station? Guys who didn’t have half the problems or a quarter of the baggage Alex did.
Off World 2: Sanctuary Page 19