by S. M. Dapelo
Ethan huffed and sat back in the seat. I was still looking decidedly out the window. Eventually we made it back to the compound and Tanner parked the car. “Xavier, go in with Ethan. Give him the things not to say to a woman course. I’ll take Sam and we’ll walk to the riding arena and talk there. Hopefully, by the end of the day, everyone’ll be on the same page again.” Tanner got out, opened my door and grabbing my arm, led me toward a large arena looking building. “Take a deep breath, Sam,” Tanner said, “He’s stupid with women. Just remember that.”
I just growled.
Chapter 18
We finally reached the arena and I looked around. “There’s only three horses. Why is this here?”
“Ethan’s family used to raise, breed, and show them. He’s too busy for that now, but this place still comes in handy,” Tanner walked up to the fence and sighed. “You need to understand, he feels guilty. In his mind the only reason they grabbed you, is because of him. But we both know that’s not why,” he turned to face me.
“We do?” I scrunched my face up.
“Sam, you were at the agency yesterday. You called their Director Steve. No one has ever done that, only you. Because you were that good. They didn’t go after you because of Ethan,” he shook his head. “They went after you, because of what you can do.”
A cold chill went down my spine, “If I’m that good, how did they get me?”
“You and Ethan had a fight. I’m not sure what it was about, but you stormed out. He thought you were going to cool off. By the time we realized something was off, it was too late. The thing about Ethan is, he doesn’t panic. At least it doesn’t appear that he does. His brain’s not wired that way. He had Berto pull all the security footage and we found the car you were thrown into. Berto got into the traffic cameras and traced you. Ethan and I stormed in, but you already took care of your own extraction and decided to run.”
“But how did they get me?”
“I’m getting to that. We worked with someone named Tina. I was dating her. Well, not really. I was … it doesn’t matter. She said she saw you take off with someone, made it sound rotten,” he glanced at me. “I believed her. When we ran into that place, I saw the blood. I didn’t believe it was yours. You remember how I confronted you when we got back here?”
I nodded, and he ran a hand through his hair, “Well, that’s why. Then Berto found something, he enhanced the video and Tina was helping people load you into the car. She worked for them, and I was so stupid I didn’t see it.” He took a breath, “Ethan never believed her, but I did. We got whatever information from her that we could, then sent her to a county that’s been trying to find her for a long time.”
I heard my voice quiver when I asked, “How did you get the information from her.”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Don’t ask me that. You don’t want to know, but I won’t lie to you. Please, don’t ask,” he glanced at me and I just nodded.
He huffed out a breath, “Ethan’s a control freak. He doesn’t like it when he can’t control a situation. And right now, he doesn’t feel like he has control of anything. The only way he can see to keep you safe, is to take you out of anything that’s dangerous. It’s not a reflection of you. He’s simply scared, and you won’t ever know it.”
“I don’t see him as being stupid with women.” I watched the horses.
“Really?” Tanner raised a single brow, “He had you alone in the bedroom, all night, and had you watch National Geographic.” He snorted and shook his head, “I would have had Fifty Shades on.”
“What’s that?”
Tanner stilled and looked away, “Nothing.”
I frowned, “It’s something.”
He took a breath, “Let me rephrase what I said. If I had a woman in my room, not my sister, I would have Fifty Shades on.”
“Okay,” I drew that word out. “I still want to know what it is.”
“You have a husband to answer that question,” he looked out into the field. The horses were ambling up. “I know you’re bored,” he sighed, “but there’s no way any organization would clear you for duty for at least three months, if ever. You need to realize that. Kiddo, you didn’t just get hurt a little, you have pockets of dead tissue in your brain.”
“Kiddo?”
“I’m trying something new,” he sighed.
“I know I’m hurt, and I know I’m never going to be how I used to be. But sitting out of everything, just doesn’t seem …”
“Like you?” he glanced over at me.
“I know I don’t remember anything, but yeah. It doesn’t seem like me.” The pure black horse walked up and butted my arm. “Hi sweetheart. Which one are you?”
“That’s Midnight,” Tanner smiled. I scratched her nose and she whinnied. “You look beat, Sam,” he said quietly.
“I’m tired,” I admitted. “The walk was longer than it looked.”
“You’re still recovering,” he pointed out. “This is what’s scaring him. It’s hard to watch someone who used to be a dynamo struggle to stay upright. To be frank, it’s scaring all of us.”
I gave a small smile, “Sorry. I take it I used to be more energetic.”
“And some,” he looked behind us. “Be nice to Ethan, he’s struggling.”
I rubbed a hand over my face, “Yeah, I think we all are.” I sighed, “Let’s head back. Aren’t you supposed to grill?”
He smirked, “Scared?”
“Terrified.”
Tanner chuckled, “Fine, but I’m not carrying you back.”
I glanced at him, “That doesn’t seem fair. You brought me out here.”
“Yeah, but I think someone else wants to,” he jerked his head over and I looked. Ethan was standing to his side. “Besides, kiddo, if I carry you, it’ll be a fireman’s carry. You won’t like that.”
“Kiddo is so not working.”
“I’m aware,” he muttered as he headed toward the main compound.
“It’s been brought to my attention that women do not like to think that they are only baby machines,” Ethan started petting the horse. “I didn’t mean to imply that you were. I didn’t even mean to imply that any baby business would be happening soon. I just know that you’re unable to do any field work.” He glanced at me, “And Sugar, there’s a better than average chance that’s going to be permanent.” He held up his hand as I opened my mouth to argue, “Not because of a decree that I’m giving. If Richard ever clears you for anything more strenuous than horseback riding, I’d be surprised.”
I wrapped my arms around myself, “I know I lost my memory. It’s just the idea that I’m going to have major limitations on me is terrifying.” I bit my lip. “No one wants to think they can only live half a life,” I whispered trying to keep my emotions under control.
Ethan wrapped me into a hug, “Sugar, you’ve been horrified of the thought of Tanner or me being spies. Why would you want to be one?”
I stuck my bottom lip out, “I thought you were security consultants?”
Ethan snorted, “Now you go with that.” He held me for another moment, then sighed, “We’ll take it one day at a time. That’s all we can do. Just promise me you won’t push yourself anymore.”
I nodded into his chest. He turned me, took my hand and we started walking on the same path Tanner had taken.
“Ethan?”
“Yeah, Sugar?”
“Tanner told me to ask you about some movie called Fifty Shades.”
Ethan immediately stopped, took a breath, then looked at me, “How attached are you to your brother?”
I shrugged, “How should I know?”
He smiled, “Good answer.”
Chapter 19
I was quickly put into bed for a nap. I woke to a hand caressing my hair, “Hey, you’re up,” Ethan smiled. “Dinner’s done, so I came to get you.”
“Are we sure it’s edible?” I asked as I pushed a hand through my hair.
Ethan chuckled, “Only one way to find o
ut,” he put his hand out. I took it and stood. “I was thinking you need to relax.”
“More sleep?” I whined.
“I was thinking a massage,” Ethan smiled
I shrugged, “If you think it’ll help.”
He sighed and shook his head, “We’ll try it after dinner. Do you remember what a massage is?”
“Ummm, not really. It’s weird, some stuff I understand. Other things …,” I shrugged, “I’m a moron.”
“You’re not a moron,” Ethan growled. He took my chin and made me look at him, “I don’t ever want to hear you call yourself that again. Understood?” I gave a small smile and nodded.
We walked into the back garden. Tanner was in front of a grill, with several men walking around and drinking from various bottles. Man, some of them looked young. “And they watched National Geographic,” he said as the others doubled over laughing.
“What did I miss Tanner?” Ethan walked over; his face neutral.
Tanner looked at the grill as the others walked away, “Nothing,” he muttered.
“He was telling the guys how you were finally in the room alone with your wife, and watched National Geographic instead of something sexy,” Lyssa walked over to look at the grill.
Tanner grabbed the bridge of his nose, “Thanks Lyssa. I must have forgotten.”
“You’re welcome. When’s dinner done? Oh, and have you seen Berto?”
Tanner flipped a steak, “In a bit, and why do you need him?”
“She’s looking for him because they’re hooking up,” Ethan smiled at him as Tanner’s eyes flew open. “I know I’m an idiot about women, what with wanting my wife to get to know me again before anything intimate happens between us. But did I get the term right; hooking up?”
“Why?” Lyssa shrieked at him.
“To torture Tanner and to remind him that he has two adult sisters who are capable of having sex. That thought alone tortures him. Maybe he should recall that before he makes fun of me for not tying up my wife, who barely knows me now, and spanking her,” Ethan gave a smug smile at Tanner.
“Wait, what?” I swung my head to stare at Tanner, “Why would you want my husband to hurt me?”
“It’s … you … gahhh …” Tanner threw his hands up as the four other men burst out laughing.
“Why bring me and Berto into this?” Lyssa had her hands on her hips.
“Oh, please,” Xavier walked out with an extremely nervous looking Berto, “Everybody knows. These two,” he pointed at Ethan and me, “they were good at hiding things. You two, not as much. I figured the two of you out before I figured out about Tanner and Samantha.”
“And Lyssa,” I said to Xavier.
He gave a confused look, “And Lyssa what?”
“You figured out about Tanner, Lyssa, and me,” I said pointedly to him.
He looked between the three of us, then cursed, “You’re telling me all three of you are siblings?”
I nodded. Xavier turned to Tanner, “I thought you told me everything when you debriefed me.”
Tanner shrugged, “I thought you knew. Lyssa and I never kept it secret. Hell, we have the same coloring and the same last name. Didn’t you ever put that together?”
Xavier blinked a few times. “I need a beer,” was all he said as he walked over to the cooler.
“You!” Tanner pointed at Berto, “What are doing with my baby sister?”
“Were you this overprotective of me?” I asked.
“No, but he was with Ethan,” Lyssa gave an evil smile. “He once told you that you weren’t good enough for him.”
My mouth dropped open. “Lyssa!” Tanner yelled at her as she cringed, realizing what she said.
“Well,” I looked at the ground. “I’m going to look for some books. Let me know when everything is done or if I need to make anything in the kitchen.” I slipped my hand from Ethan’s grasp and headed back inside. I quickened my pace to the library, trying not to be as upset as I felt. I should have realized the talk Tanner and I had today was more about protecting Ethan, then explaining things to me. After all, he told me to be nice to Ethan, not the other way around.
I walked straight to the bookshelf directly in front and stopped. I tried to appear like I was looking at the books when arms went around me. “Are you okay?” Ethan asked.
“Of course,” I forced out, not turning to look at him. “I can’t be hurt by anything I don’t have a memory of.” I took a deep, steadying breath. Ethan turned me and lifted my chin, making me look into his eyes; his eyes that showed so much concern. That was my undoing. I felt my chin quiver and before I knew it the tears started.
He wrapped me tight in his arms, stoking my hair and crooning into my ear. It felt like forever before I was able to get myself under control. “I’m sorry,” I said as I pulled back. “I’m not upset with what Lyssa said, it’s just …”
Ethan pulled me back to him and kissed the top of my head, “With everything that’s happened to you, the only other time you’ve cried is when we tried to stick a needle in you. You needed this. You’ve lost your memory, had a concussion, the flu, brain surgery and a seizure. Oh, and let’s not forget a husband who stuck his foot in his mouth big time today.”
A small laugh escaped me, and he leaned down so he could see my eyes, “There you are. Why don’t I take you upstairs to wash up? If your siblings haven’t killed each other yet, they will if they see your face like this.”
“Tanner, Lyssa, and I, we’re siblings in name only, aren’t we? There is absolutely no feeling on their side for me, right? He’s closer to being your brother than mine.”
Ethan sighed, “It’s complicated and I don’t want to get into it now. It has to do with the past, and right now were working toward the future. Anything that you don’t remember doesn’t matter.” He brushed a strand behind my ear, “Let’s get you cleaned up. Because while you don’t think Tanner cares about you, you’re wrong. If he sees you like this, I don’t know if we’ll be able to drag him out of the guilt hole he’ll dig himself into.”
I just nodded and let him lead me back to the powder room to wash the tears from my face.
Chapter 20
Dinner started quiet, but got a bit unruly when one of the guys, I think his name was Mitch, made some comment about a popular video game and how all the kids playing it were getting violent when forced to stop. Mitch asked what everyone thought about it.
“Don’t play it,” Berto said between bites of his salad, “There’s subliminal programming involved.”
“You believe that?” Xavier asked incredulously.
“I’ve read the code,” Berto shrugged matter of factly. “The developer planned it so the kids who play it get extremely aggressive and buy more games like it. They’ll grow to be good soldiers. How else do you think that crap game becomes number one? Stick to Frogger or Street Fighter.”
“What? You do not believe that.” Tanner stared at him, “You’re dating him?” he glanced at Lyssa.
“I’ve seen it in the code too,” she bit into the steak, which Tanner did a respectable job on. “Heck, Berto could probably stop it so you can see the messages,” she looked over to him questioningly.
“Of course,” Berto shrugged.
“This I’ve got to see,” Xavier stood as did the other men, including Tanner. Berto simply shrugged and led them in the house.
“Do you want to see it?” Ethan asked me.
“Why? I don’t have a reason not to believe him,” I finished my steak and took a sip of water. “What’s a Frogger?”
Ethan gave a chuckle, “An old school video game. Nothing to worry about. Do you want to take a walk?”
I shook my head, “I know we normally do at this time, but I think I got enough walking in this afternoon. I’m still kind of tired.”
“Okay,” he nodded, “How about we watch a movie? And I give you a hand massage?”
“Sounds heavenly,” I smiled at him, “But are you saying you don’t need proof about th
at game?”
“Nope,” he shook his head, “I’ve seen the programming too. It’s real and not allowed in this compound. My men are aggressive enough. I don’t need them so hooked on a video game that we can’t get them away from it. I won’t even tell you about the Alien: Isolation debacle of 2015.”
“This has happened before? Why’s nothing being done about it?” I asked.
Ethan shrugged, “My concern is the Sacristy. There’re other groups that work on other areas. This is their concern. I just make sure it doesn’t affect my people.” Then he smiled, “Come on, let’s get you relaxed.” He put out his hand and led me into the house.
I changed into yoga pants and a t-shirt took my shoes off and sat on the bed as Ethan started a cartoon. “Really?” I asked.
“Illumination Studios is one of the more important movie houses. You should be familiar with some of their work,” he sat down next to me after toeing off his shoes and grabbed my hand. He started pressing into it, massaging it. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.
“Oh my God. How did you learn to do this and why did I earn it?” I asked.
“It’s about building trust Samantha,” he leaned over and kissed the side of my neck causing a bolt to run through me, “I want you to know the feel of my hands, and realize that they will never cause you pain.” His hands rubbed into my forearm. “Also realize that no matter how quick everyone thinks we should move; we’re going at our own pace. One that’s comfortable for you.”
“Move where?”
He gave a small chuckle, “They think we should be having sex already. I personally think you need to get to know me before that happens. It’s not like you have any memories of me.”
“Thank you.” I thought for a moment and put my head on his shoulder, “So how did we meet?”
“Oh good, questions,” he sighed. “Okay, but this is the only one today. We, and by that, I mean Tanner and me, were meeting with Stephen and Peter at the Agency office. The meeting had already started when you burst in, yelling about Brock. Apparently, something happened, and you kicked his ass. Brock followed you in, looking a bit worse for wear. I’m still not entirely sure what happened. You basically told Stephen if you ever had to work with him again you were walking.”