by R. C. Martin
As she begins to come down from her climactic high, I slip under her arms and push myself up so that I can reach her lips. She clings to me the best that she can with her bound wrists, and kisses me with a ferocity that sets me on fire. I know I’ve waited long enough. I can’t wait anymore. I slide my arms beneath her and lift her off of the table, securing her against my chest. She circles her legs around my waist, neither of us breaking our kiss. I pull away when I reach the top of the stairs, and she drags her lips to my ear.
“Judah?” she whispers.
“Sweetheart?” I ask, carrying her quickly down the stairs.
She hesitates, squeezing me tighter before she says, “I love you.”
I stop dead in my tracks. At first, it’s her words that startle me. I wasn’t prepared—I would never have guessed that she was about to say what she just fucking said.
A second later, it’s not her words that render me speechless, it’s the way I feel hearing them.
Love is for fools.
This I know.
This I believe.
I will not proclaim love.
I do not fall in love.
But I will claim this fool, as I am a fool for her.
I cannot ignore that truth.
I hold her against me tighter, my desire to hear her repeat the words undeniable.
“What did you say?”
She shifts in my arms so that she can look me square in the face.
“I love you,” she says softly.
My eyes search hers—her beautiful, light brown eyes—eyes that captivated me from the moment we met. I knew then that I would have her. I know now that she is mine. But I need more. It is no longer enough to know. I want her marked. I want her full of my fucking seed. She belongs to me, and I don’t want her to know it—I want her to feel it.
“Teddy,” I murmur, pressing my forehead against hers. “I want to fuck you so badly right now.”
“Then do it,” she insists. “I’m yours.”
“Without a condom, sweetheart. I want to fuck you bare.”
She pulls away, her eyes wide in concern as she stares at me. “Judah—we shouldn’t. I—”
“You’ve finished your treatments. The condom is just an extra precaution for peace of mind. Don’t make me wait, sweetheart. I need to feel you—all of you—now.”
“But what if it comes back?”
“It won’t.”
“Judah…”
The growl that rumbles from my chest won’t be held back as I crush my lips against hers. She whimpers in surprise, but she surrenders almost instantly, melting against me. Having reached the bottom of the stairs, I make my way to the bedroom, never pulling my lips from hers. When I smack my hand against the wall, reaching for the light switch, she severs our kiss.
“Judah, I’m scared.”
“Of what?” I ask, easing her down onto the bed. I extract myself from between her arms, straddling her as I untie her wrists. She doesn’t answer me, but her gaze is locked with mine. Once she’s free, I bend down and kiss her mouth. “Haven’t gone bare in a decade, sweetheart. Want my naked dick in your tight pussy. Want to feel you—just you, Teddy. Just you.”
With her hands now free, she feels her way over my shoulders and down my chest, her breaths growing ragged as I lower myself over her. I prop my body up on my elbows, supporting the bulk of my weight—her warm, soft skin just a breath away from mine.
“Make love to me, Judah,” she finally whispers.
“Just us,” I demand, rubbing my hard-on along her slick slit.
“Just us,” she echoes, spreading her legs wider.
A few minutes ago, I was ready to ravage her. I was craving rough and dirty—but now, I want to take her slow and deliberately. I want to feel every inch of me fill her up until I’m balls deep. When I slip between her folds, my eyes roll back as I groan in ecstasy. She feels like a dream, and I never want to wake up. Ever. It’s only when she reaches for my face that I open my eyes and look down at her.
The way she’s looking at me right now makes me feel like the fucking king of her world.
“I didn’t know it could get better—oh, Jude,” she moans. “I love the way you feel.”
“You have no idea how amazing you feel, sweetheart. It’s just you and me from here on out—just you and me,” I mumble, rolling my hips
“You and me.”
We exchange no more words. They aren’t necessary. Our bodies do all the talking. I take her nice and slow, my entire being rejoicing at the feel of her hot, soft, wet, fucking perfect cunt around my cock. With each stroke, I bring her closer and closer to another orgasm. I can see it on her face; and when she crumbles beneath me, her pussy clenching my dick, it’s all I can do to hold on. She’s so goddamn beautiful when she comes.
I pull out of her before my own release drags me under. I lay on my side, easing her onto hers, and she follows my lead without a bit of protest. I grip the underside of her thigh, lifting her leg as I glide into her from behind. I know I won’t last much longer, but I have every intention of making her come fast and hard just one more time.
“I’m going to fuck you now, sweetheart.”
She nods and I hold nothing back, a deep, guttural groan forcing its way out of me as I pound into her over and over.
“Yes, yes!” she gasps, reaching back to sink her fingers in my hair. When she tugs on the strands, crying out with every thrust, I know I’ve found her g-spot. I bury my face in her neck, her body beckoning me closer. “I’m gonna—I’m gonna—” She sucks in a sharp breath, and I can tell she’s trying to hold herself back. “I’m going to come again, Judah—can I—can I—oh, god!”
“Just wait,” I grind out, draping her leg over mine before flatting my hand across her middle, holding her still.
“Judah!”
“Hold on, sweetheart—just wait!” I insist.
She grips my hair so tight, it burns—but I don’t give a single shit.
When my balls tighten, and I can hold my release back no longer, I roar, “Come, Teddy!”
She clamps down around me, her body drawing out her climax, my name on her lips as she shudders. I spill my seed deep inside of her, her pussy milking me dry. I swear, it feels like we come together for an indecipherable amount of time, and I’ve never wanted her as much as I want her right now.
When we both start to relax, I know that we need to get in the shower, but I don’t move. My dick is exactly where it wants to be. Teddy frees my hair from her death grip, lowering her hand to cover the one I have still resting below her stomach.
“Don’t leave me, okay?” she says, her voice so soft I almost don’t even hear it.
I don’t know what she means. I can’t figure out if she wants me to stay inside of her a little longer, or if she’s referring to our relationship—either way, it doesn’t matter. My answer is still the same.
“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.”
Why should I? I’m the king of my shy girl’s motherfucking world.
She loves me.
As I begin to crawl my way out of sleep, I keep my eyes closed. For some reason, I’m filled with the desire to savor every feeling I become aware of as I wake. As consciousness awakens my senses, my body reminds me of last night’s activities. While I don’t hurt, I can still feel every place that Judah bit me while I was laying on the dining room table. I’m a little sore after the way he fucked me—but I love it. I love the way he touches me, the way he stretches me open and fills me up, and all the delicious things he makes me feel as he takes me just the way he wants.
My God, I love him.
I love him—and now he knows.
Now he knows…
I couldn’t keep the words to myself any longer. I needed him to know—I wanted him to know before the whole world knew, as I’m sure I have no poker face when it comes to him. I spoke the truth, not knowing how he would respond. I never imagined that he would repeat the words back to me. I won’t lie and say that I
don’t hope that one day he will; that one day I hope he’ll let go of the hurtful memories of his past and understand that I am not Aubrey and my love is not so easily discarded; that one day he’ll believe me with his whole heart and feel the same way about me. I want that. Of course I want that. But I know he needs more time.
While he didn’t speak the words back to me, I can’t help the smile that curls my lips when I remember his response. When we made love, just us, I felt like, at the very least, he had heard me; and in return, he wanted to share even more of himself with me. A part of me still worries about our lack of protection. I’m certainly not afraid that I’ll get pregnant, as that seems to be pretty impossible at this point; but my STI was so undetected for so long, even after taking my treatment, I’m worried that I’ll not know without a doubt that I’m clean until my next check up at the end of November. Nevertheless, I couldn’t deny him. I couldn’t say no to him. I wanted to please him—and the look on his face when he slid into me?
I’ve never felt so beautiful and wanted in my whole life.
But now, with the dawning of a new day, I’m not sure how he will feel. Admittedly, I’m nervous about the whole thing. Now that we’re not lust drunk, what will he think of my feelings? Am I allowed to tell him how I feel again? Or will he want me to keep it to myself, insisting that he doesn’t believe in the sentiment?
I’m surprised when I hear him grunt. It’s not often that I wake up in bed with him still in it, and I’m quick to turn my head in the direction of his voice. My hair doesn’t exactly move with me, and I can barely see through it as it covers my face. With an irritated grunt of my own, I reach up and sweep the unruly locks behind my ear. With my vision now clear, I see Judah—or, rather, I see the side of his toned ass. His lap is covered by the sheet, and if I lift my eyes a little higher, I see that he’s got his tablet in his hands. My guess is, he’s reading the Sunday paper. He does love his news first thing in the morning.
My eyes slowly continue their ascent up his chiseled chest, and I smile when my gaze finally reaches his. He’s looking right at me—those gorgeous grey eyes awakening the butterflies in my stomach.
“Hi,” I say in a soft greeting.
“Good morning.”
He doesn’t say anything else, but continues to stare at me. It makes me feel uneasy, as I can’t for the life of me figure out what he could be thinking—my mysterious man—so I shift once more, sitting up beside him. I clutch the sheet to my chest, tucking it under my arms before I run my fingers through my hair. I’m sure I look crazy, my waves a burning rat’s nest on top of my head. We took a shower last night between round two and round three, our final round in bed before sleep overtook us both. My hair was still damp when I drifted off. I should have braided it, but I was distracted. Now I don’t know if he’s looking at me because I’m a mess, or because the morning has brought with it a new sense of clarity in regards to what I said last night.
“Stop fidgeting,” he demands.
I drop my hands into my lap immediately, my cheeks warming in a blush.
All right. Guess he’s not so worried about my hair, then.
I debate whether or not I should bring it up; but when he doesn’t follow up his command with any attempt at conversation, I make up my mind to speak.
“Jude, maybe we should talk about what I—”
I’m interrupted when he reaches over and yanks down the sheet, exposing my naked torso. My jaw falls open as I look down at myself and then gape at him in surprised confusion.
“I couldn’t hear you with the sheet up like that,” he mutters, pointing at my breasts. “What were you saying?”
I cough out an embarrassed laugh, shaking my head at him as I try to continue. “Um—just that, well, maybe we should talk about what I said last night.”
“And what would be the point of that?” he asks with a little shrug.
I lower my gaze to my hands, still in my lap, trying to decipher his question. Before I can gather my thoughts, he speaks again.
“Did you mean it?”
My head snaps up in an instant, my eyes searching for his. “Of course! Of course, I did,” I insist, my heart rate picking up speed. Suddenly, I’m full of fear—afraid that maybe I was wrong. Maybe my confession meant nothing to him—how could it if he didn’t believe it to be true?
“Come ‘ere,” he grumbles, setting aside his tablet.
I crawl toward him and he guides me into his lap, my legs bent on either side of him. Even with the sheet between us, I can feel it as my core heats up, his proximity stirring my longing. He circles his arms around me lazily, and I rest my hands on his bare shoulders. Being near him helps settle my nerves, but I still don’t know what to expect from him just now.
“Say it,” he insists.
I pause for only as long as it takes me to figure out what he’s asking of me.
“I love you,” I whisper, my eyes locked with his.
“Again.”
I lean toward him, pressing my chest against his as I repeat, “I love you.”
He crosses the short gap between us, closing his mouth around mine. His hold around me tightens, and when he glides his tongue between my lips, I feel myself growing more aroused. He kisses me possessively—tasting of coffee—and my heart beats faster once more. He bites my lip before he pulls away, resting his forehead against mine.
“Again,” he grunts.
“Judah,” I whimper, squeezing my knees into his sides as I grip him tighter still, my whole body wishing to speak on my behalf. “I’m so in love with you.”
“Tell me again tomorrow,” he murmurs.
I pull away, just enough to be able to look into his eyes. He returns my stare, and suddenly it clicks.
…love is a choice. It’s a choice that someone has to make over and over, every day—those were his words. The first night he brought me here, that’s what he told me.
Now, he’s asking for me to tell him that I’ll still choose him tomorrow, like I chose him yesterday. He still believes that my heart has given me a say in the matter. It didn’t. It didn’t—and I’ll prove it. Every day. Every single day!
“I will,” I say, finally answering him.
He captures my mouth in another fierce kiss, and I moan when I feel his erection beneath me. My center throbs as my breathing grows shallow, and I won’t deny that I want him. I belong to him, and when his body speaks as it is speaking now, my deepest desire is to please him. I can’t help it—this is love.
He pulls the sheet from between us, and the warmth of his skin felt between my legs spurs me on. I rock my hips, my way of telling him that I’m his, and he grabs hold of my waist with both of his hands. When he lifts me up in the air so that I’m hovering over his lap, I gasp, gripping hold of his shoulders.
“Put it in.”
“What?” I breathe.
“Slide my dick into that sweet cunt, Teddy.”
“But—I—I—” I shake my head at him. “I don’t know how to be on top.”
He smirks at me before he says, “You’re a smart woman, sweetheart. I’m sure you can figure it out. Now—take my dick.”
I do as he says, only I don’t feel nearly as confident as I wish I did. My breath hitches in my throat as I sink down over him, and he groans, biting on his lower lip. When I’m fully seated, I pause a moment—needing to adjust to this new position. With my weight baring down on him, I feel like he’s deeper than he’s ever been before. Suddenly, all I want is to make him come inside of me.
Hesitantly, I begin to rock my hips back and forth against his. It feels good, so I don’t stop. When he grazes his hands up my sides before palming my breasts, my need sparks my confidence. I grind against him harder, a moan spilling from my lips as he grunts, squeezing his hands around me.
“Jude—” I sigh, my fingers roaming over his shoulders, up his neck, down his arms—I want to touch him everywhere. I want him to feel how much I need him.
When he pinches my nipples between his fi
ngers, I throw my head back, dragging in a ragged breath. He pinches me again before he barks, “Eyes on me, Teddy.”
I obey in an instant—locking my gaze with his. The lust in his hooded eyes is my undoing. All at once, none of what I’m doing is enough.
“More—Judah,” I beg, wishing I knew how to take all that I want, like he does. “I need more.”
He offers me a curt nod before planting his palms on either side of us. I suck in a startled breath as he lifts his hips off the bed. I grab the back of his neck and hold on while he shifts to stretch out beneath me. When he lays down on his back, I prop myself up with my hands against his chest, and he grins at me—his fingers digging into my ass.
“Ride me like you mean it, sweetheart.”
“Okay,” I whisper, nodding at him before I begin rocking my hips again.
With him underneath me like this, I discover I have the mobility to do just as he says, and my movements pick up speed. Soon, all I care about is chasing my climax and bringing forth his. My pride slips away little by little with every labored breath I take, and I lose myself in the moment.
I’m panting now, each exhalation accompanied by a moan. He feels so amazing, his grip on me only intensifying how unbelievably turned on I am. A small part of me acknowledges that he has put me in a position of control, but I don’t feel like I’m in control at all. He owns me—my heart, my body—and I know my pleasure belongs to him. Everything I’m feeling is because of him, and I surrender to him completely.
“Oh, god—Judah!” I cry out, pressing down on him even harder. I can’t get enough—I’m so close, and yet I can’t get enough. “I can’t—I need more. Please—please!”
“Your greedy pussy need me to take over? Is that it, sweetheart?” he grits out, his hands gripping my hips.
I can hardly catch my breath, my body buzzing as I sit on the precipice of my release—so close, I could cry.
“I’m begging you,” I manage, tilting my head back as I close my eyes, willing my body to let go. Yet, try as I might, I can’t get there on my own.
He slaps the side of my ass, making me gasp and then moan before he commands—“Eyes on me, Teddy!” I snap them open once more, looking down at him obediently. “I want to see you when I make you come. I want to see you wild. Fucking scream my name, sweetheart—I want to hear my name on your lips. Mine. I’m the only one who can unravel you.”