“All right. I’ll call the guys in,” she says and rises. Her gaze lingers on mine, though.
“I do appreciate what you did,” she tells me. And then she walks past me, and opens the door.
Chapter Eight
Elen
The guys come back into the room and sit as if nothing’s happened, and the interview progresses as normal.
I sit back and let them ask the questions, taking the time to process what’s happened, and to listen to the answers Kane is giving. It’s only now that I remember his words from last night, I have a way with words. I think I wrote that for a greeting card. He all but told me he was a copywriter. As he tells us about his previous employment, it becomes clear that he knows his stuff, plus--and it’s a big plus--he’s done a lot of research on Hearktech, something that the other candidates hadn’t thought to do. He draws interesting comparisons between the technology for the blind he’s written copy for, and our Assistive Learning Device.
The guys are fascinated by his work with Katoa, and after the formalities are dealt with, they ask him about Dark Robot, the game we all play online. It’s not really relevant to the position he’s going for, but it establishes that we have a lot in common, and it’s not long before we sound as if we’re sitting in a bar talking like old friends as we discuss what dungeons we’ve done and the best gaming techniques.
He’s going to make a great addition to the team, and even if I’d had an objection to him joining the company, I think I’d have been outvoted.
I do feel a little uncomfortable that he was a witness to my less-than-perfect behavior last night. And it still rankles that he turned me down, even if it was for honorable reasons and I’d have thought less of him if he hadn’t just watched me sleep.
But I like him. I have to admit it. He’s kind, thoughtful, funny, and very, very sexy. I only partially drew that conclusion last night, but today, watching him across the table, I discover how attracted to him I am. He looks smart in his suit, but now he knows I’m not going to kick him out, he has relaxed enough to let his natural nonchalance shine through. He’s a non-conformist, this one. In spite of his declaration that he doesn’t argue, neither is he the sort of man who does what he’s told to keep the peace. I have a talent with people. The guys rely on me to tell them a person’s true nature, and I can tell from the start that Kane Richardson is not as meek and mild as he makes out.
He is one of the good guys, though. He lay beside me last night, and although I have little recollection of the evening, I’m convinced he didn’t touch me inappropriately. Although… now I’m getting a hazy memory of crying, and of his arms tightening around me… Hmm.
“Elen?” Seb says, jerking me out of my musings. “Any questions?”
I should tell them what happened. If I knew that one of them had employed a girl they’d had a relationship with, I would have torn their head off. I’ve told all of them not to get involved with women they work with, not that it’s done any good, as all of them are having relationships with girls who started at the company as temps. So they’re not going to be able to criticize me.
Not that I’m planning on having a relationship with him, of course. I’m just saying that if they knew what had happened, they couldn’t pass judgment.
“Elen,” Seb says again.
I blink. “No questions.”
“Okay.” He’s amused, and I know he’s going to tease me as soon as Kane leaves the room. “Right, well, thanks, Kane. We’ll be in touch.”
We all rise and shake hands. Kane’s gaze lingers on mine before he gathers his folders and leaves the room. The door closes slowly behind him.
“All right,” Harry says as the three of them sit, “spill the beans.”
“I asked if you had any questions,” Seb adds. “You were supposed to ask him if he was involved with anyone.”
“Fuck off,” I say mildly, picking up my empty coffee cup.
They all chuckle. We’ve known each other since the guys were together at university, so the atmosphere is a little more informal than in most boardrooms.
“Come on,” Caleb says, “he was looking at you as if you were covered in chocolate and he’d been told he could lick it off. Are you having a thing?”
“Of course not!” My face flames, which happens so rarely that it immediately tells them there’s more to the story. I sigh and give in. “We’re not involved. But he helped me out last night. I went for a drink in a bar on the other side of town, and I’d taken some new pills because I had a migraine, and I had a few to drink, and, well, he looked after me, that’s all.”
The smiles have faded on their faces, and now they look concerned. They’d forgotten I’d broken up with Dan.
“You were on your own?” Seb says. “That was dumb. Why didn’t you call me? Or Colette?”
“I wanted to be alone.”
“On the other side of town? Drinking?”
“You’re not my father,” I snap. “Stop telling me what to do.”
He holds up his hands. The other two have fallen quiet. “Fair enough,” Seb says. “But you should take more care of yourself. Dan isn’t worth getting into trouble for.”
Seb never really liked Dan, and I don’t think the others were keen either. He never fit into our close-knit group the way I was hoping. They’re probably glad we’ve broken up.
All my anger and irritation disappears, leaving me feeling washed out and exhausted. I sit back down. “I know. I suppose that’s one reason why I was so upset. I wasted too much time on him.”
“Aw,” Harry says. “Elen…”
“I’m sorry we teased you,” Caleb says. “That wasn’t fair. If you’d rather we hire someone else, we will. We wouldn’t take on anyone you weren’t comfortable with.”
“No, of course you should employ Kane; he’s perfect. Honestly, it’s not a problem. I like him. I embarrassed myself last night, that’s all, but it’s not his fault. He was the perfect gentleman, and to be honest, I’m glad he was there.” I shift in my chair. I love these guys dearly, but I don’t want to talk about my private life with them. I’ve made an effort over the years to project an air of capability and confidence, and I don’t want to ruin that because of one stupid night.
“I liked what he said about the ALD,” Harry says. “His comparisons with Katoa’s controller for the blind were spot on.”
“He’d certainly done his research,” Caleb says. “And I liked his writing style.”
“Are we all agreed?” Seb looks around and waits for the guys to nod. He looks at me. I nod, too, determined to be professional. “Okay,” Seb says, “I’ll give him a call.”
He waits for me to speak, as if expecting me to say that I wanted to call Kane, but I don’t. I rise and collect my things, give them all a smile, and exit the room.
As I walk back to my office, I resolve to pretend that last night never happened. It’s time to stop looking back, to grieve for my loss, and then to move forward. I have a great job, and plenty to concentrate on.
I certainly don’t need a man to make me whole.
Chapter Nine
Kane
For the first month or so, I barely see Elen. My office is on the floor below hers, and although I meet regularly with the directors, more often than not it’s with the guys, who tell me she’s busy on other projects.
I suspect that she’s avoiding me, which saddens me, but it’s understandable. And I’m busy, anyway. As the only copywriter in the company at the moment, I have a lot of work, from composing the blurbs for promotional material, to putting together their new catalogue, to liaising with the marketing department regarding TV and radio advertising.
Gradually, I settle into my new life. The job is all-consuming, which is just what I need right now, and I’m happy to spend most of my daylight hours at my desk. And it’s not long before the guys begin inviting me out in the evenings. At first, I decline, because I don’t want them to feel as if they have to include a single guy in a couples-focused socia
l life. As I get to know them all, I discover that they mix together once or twice a week, and once I go out with them a few times, I soon realize it’s not as if they all pair off together and I’m sitting there on my own, as there are often others there from the office who aren’t attached.
The guys’ partners are nice--Seb’s girl, Colette, who takes it on herself to make sure I’m not left out in anything; Harry’s wife, Gaby, gentler and a little quieter than Colette, but still lovely and friendly; and Caleb’s girlfriend, Roxie, a little firecracker of a thing whom he clearly adores. They’re getting married this weekend, and I’ve been invited to the wedding.
I accept the invitation, pleased to be included, and hopeful that while I’m there I might be able to find five minutes for a chat with Elen at last.
She can’t avoid me forever. I’ve been patient. I knew she was getting over a breakup, and that she needed time to get to know me before I made any sort of move. But enough is enough. If she’s going to avoid me all the time, she’s not going to get to know me. And I have no intention of letting her slip through my fingers.
*
I arrive at the church on Saturday at two-thirty and head inside. Roxie’s brother, Marc, is one of the ushers, and I follow him into the half-full church and down the aisle, where he gestures with a smile to one of the pews. I sidle along and sit, then turn to my neighbor.
“Afternoon.”
Elen gives me a look that suggests she suspects I engineered this. She’s not wrong--I asked Marc to seat me next to her.
“Hi,” she says.
“Oh, she does speak.”
She gives me a wry look. “I’ve been busy.”
“Sure.”
“I have!”
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
She purses her lips. “Maybe a little.”
“I’m mortally wounded,” I tell her.
“Aw. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
She’s wearing a delightful little dress, the dark-orange color complementing the leaves blowing across the tiles from the trees outside. Where’s she’s sitting, the skirt has risen to above her knees, and I can see she’s wearing flesh-colored tights and high heels the same color as her dress. Her legs look about a mile long.
I lift my gaze to hers to see that she’s aware I was eyeing her up. She raises her eyebrows as if waiting for me to apologize. I just let my lips curve up. She holds my gaze for a moment longer, then looks down. A touch of color appears on her cheekbones.
“You shouldn’t look at me like that,” she advises.
“Like a man looks at a woman he desires?”
Her eyes widen. “Kane!”
“What?”
“That’s inappropriate. We work together.”
“No we don’t. I’ve hardly seen you.”
“There’s a reason for that.”
“Which is…”
“I feel uncomfortable,” she says. She looks down at her hands in her lap. “I made a fool of myself, and I don’t want to be reminded of that.”
“Who’s reminding you?” I lean a little closer. “The only thing I remember that evening was having you in my arms. I promised myself then that it wouldn’t be the last time I’d watch you sleep.” I pause. “Actually, that sounds creepy. I meant after sex, just so you know.”
She laughs then and looks up, and our eyes lock.
“I’ve waited,” I tell her. “I’m not waiting much longer.”
Her lips part, but no words come out. I think, for once, she’s speechless.
There’s no time to talk after that--people are constantly arriving, and Caleb takes his place at the front of the church, Harry at his side. I understand the three guys made a deal--Seb was best man at Harry’s wedding, Harry is best man at Caleb’s, and Caleb is going to be best man when Seb gets married next year. The two guys look smart in their gray morning coats, and Elen presses a hand over her heart, clearly touched by the sight of the two of them.
It’s only minutes before Roxie arrives, and then we all stand and turn as the music starts and she walks down the aisle with her father. I wasn’t sure what kind of dress to expect, as she tends to wear punk-style clothes. I don’t think I’m the only one surprised to see that her dress looks like something Snow White might have worn to her wedding--layers and layers of the stuff that ballerina tutus are made from, making her look like a cloud floating down the aisle. Even Caleb looks shocked, his face full of amazement and adoration as she takes her place at his side.
Elen’s crying openly now, tears rolling down her cheeks in spite of her attempt to dry them with a tissue. I look down at her. I’d like to comfort her the way I did the night she was sad. I lift my arm. She looks at me, at my raised arm, and for a moment I think she’s going to refuse.
Then she sighs and leans against me. With an inner glow of pleasure, I lower my arm around her shoulder and give her a squeeze.
“You look lovely today,” I murmur near her ear.
She shivers and glances at me, her gaze slipping down me as soft as a feather brushed on naked skin. “You too.”
And that’s all we get to say for the next thirty or so minutes. We sit, and reluctantly I retrieve my arm, but I’m glad that when someone arrives late and we have to squeeze up to give them room, Elen doesn’t object at the brush of my arm against hers. I’m able to enjoy the rest of the ceremony with the scent of her shampoo in my nostrils and the feel of her soft body against me.
If she’s not over her ex now, or at least well on the way to forgetting him, she never will be. Soon, she’ll be dating again, and I don’t want to come into the office one day and hear that she’s seeing somebody else.
I’ve taken my time. But a man only has so much patience.
Obviously, she knows that I can’t father children, and I’m not sure whether that will be an issue for her the same way it was for Jen. Until I met Elen, I couldn’t see myself ever dating again, because what young woman would take on a man with that knowledge in the back of her mind? I saw myself staying single until the day I died.
But I don’t want to stay single. I miss being close to someone. And I want this girl. I want her badly. Enough that I’m prepared to take the risk in getting close to her. I’m not going to let fear stop me from trying to be happy.
And I think Elen could make me very happy indeed.
Chapter Ten
Elen
I can barely breathe with Kane sitting beside me.
His body warmth seeps into me, and I feel myself heating up from the inside out. He looks amazing today. He’s wearing a dark-gray suit, although he always wears a suit to work so that’s not unusual, but today instead of a white shirt and a business tie, he’s wearing a silvery-gray shirt with black swirly lines and an open neck, and he looks smart and casual and sexy all at the same time. His aftershave has deep, musky tones that stir my senses.
There’s something about him. I don’t know what it is. He’s so laid back he’s almost horizontal, and yet Seb was commenting only yesterday that Kane has been at his desk until seven p.m. every night this week, and he’s usually one of the first in too.
I haven’t yet spoken to him about it, but I love his writing. He’s concise, he’s funny, and his occasional clever use of metaphors suggests to me that he writes more than just copy, and I was right when I thought he’d written that fantasy story on his desk.
Seb, Harry, Caleb, and I are all left-brain people: logical, analytical, and objective. The three guys are engineers, and I’m science-based, so we all talk in facts and figures. If we were shapes, we’d be squares and triangles, and maybe I’d have the occasional circle thrown in.
Kane is like the lines on his shirt--he’s all swirls and abstract patterns. He comes out with ideas we could never think of. We would be practical blacks and grays; he’s rainbow-colored, luminous, pastel, vibrant. I’m not creative at all--I can’t draw, I can’t write, and I have no interest in making clothes or cooking or anything like that. So Kane’s brain fascinates
me. He fascinates me. He’s a Bohemian in a suit, a combination so exciting and unusual that I can barely take my eyes off him.
I do, though. In spite of his declaration, I’ve waited, and I’m not waiting much longer, I don’t know that I want to fall into his arms at the first opportunity. I need to think carefully about where I go from here. Am I ready for another relationship? After the initial weirdness of being alone wore off, I’ve enjoyed being on my own. I’ve had my own space, been able to do my own thing, and not answer to anyone. It’s been refreshing, and I’ve rediscovered myself.
After saying that, Kane is hot, and I just know he’ll be great in bed. Jesus, I so need to get laid. Would he be up for something short-term? I glance up at him to find his gaze fixed on me. His eyes are like laser beams. Yeah, I think he might be up for some sex.
The ceremony ends, and we watch the bride and groom walk down the aisle and out into the nearby garden for their photos. I swallow down the lump that has formed in my throat at the sight of one of my best friends so incredibly happy. I love these guys so much, and there was a point when I despaired they’d ever settle down. Now all three of them have a partner, and it’s only me still playing the dating game.
I follow Kane outside into the bright autumn air, and we stand to one side and watch the photographer organizing the bridesmaids and Roxie’s little boy who looks just charming in a tiny suit. A leaf flutters down from the chestnut trees above us onto my hair. Kane reaches out and retrieves it with a smile. It’s a simple gesture, but it makes me shiver. I want his hands on me. I want his mouth on mine. I want to feel his hot skin. Jesus, I feel as if I’m self-combusting. How am I going to make it through the day?
*
With trouble, is the answer. Kane sticks to my side like plastic wrap you can’t shake off, and I spend most of the day in a daze. It’s a nice day, too. After the photographs, we all go back to the hall they’ve hired for dinner and the evening event. We share a table with the guys and others from work, and we pass the hours drinking, reminiscing, and laughing. They’re my favorite people in all the world, and I’ve been looking forward to the event, but when it comes to it, all I can think about is the man by my side.
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