by Geri Glenn
Finally seeing it’s not within his power to kill me, I look to Merrick, the love of my life.
Merrick, you told me last night that you loved me, and that you could see the goodness in me. That I would sacrifice myself for the greater good to save the world, and you were right. You need to do this. We have to save the world. You have to kill me. Cyrus isn’t strong enough to do it, but you can. Please, Merrick, don’t you see?
He looks deep into my eyes, and I know in that moment that he hears me. He knows I’m right.
We both turn towards Le Vieux, and he knows it too. For the first time since he’s risen, he looks scared. He moves in a flash, rushing to get to us before we can finish the job.
Merrick reaches me in two strides, but over his shoulder, I can see Le Vieux charging towards us. Before he can get close enough, Cyrus appears, landing a power kick straight to his face, sending him flying back into the crumbled brick. Cy turns to me, and I see defeat in his eyes, but it’s not defeat from this war. It’s from my decision, and him knowing that it’s what needs to be done.
Merrick cups my face. “I love you, Joey.”
“And I love you. Enough to sacrifice myself so that you can live on,” I admit, hoping he hears the pure love I have for him in my voice.
Leaning down, he brushes his lips against mine. As much as I know we don’t have time for this, I can’t push him away. I need to feel his lips on mine, if only one more time.
Breaking the kiss, but not moving his mouth far from mine, he says, “I’ll see you on the other side.” Then he summons his sword and drives it deep into my chest. I hear Le Vieux scream, but I know he’ll follow me out of this world, so looking to Merrick, I smile.
“I’ll be waiting for you,” I say, before eternal darkness takes me.
Chapter Sixteen
Cyrus
-
I watch in horror as Merrick drives a long blade deep into my sister’s chest. From behind me, I hear a mighty roar, but I don’t even turn to watch that fucker die. I can’t take my eyes off the lifeless body of my sister, cradled in Merrick’s arms. A flash of bright yellow light fills the space around us, and I know Le Vieux is gone. I can feel it the moment he leaves—the absence of pure evil.
Merrick’s back is to me, but I can see his entire body trembling. He cradles her close, but doesn’t make a sound. Suddenly, Emersyn’s face fills my vision, blocking out the earth-shattering view of my dead twin. Tears stream down her cheeks, and I can see her lips moving. I can hear the sounds around me, but I can’t hear her words. The only words I can hear are my sister’s final ones to me, ‘You know it’s the right thing to do. It’s the only way! I have to die.’
She was right. It was the right thing to do, but the very thought of being on this earth without my sister makes my chest ache. I’ve never been without her. From the moment we were conceived, we’ve been inseparable. We grew in our mother’s womb together, played together and trained together. Aside from Father Martin, Joey was the only family I had, or even needed. We had our share of fights, but never once did it cross my mind that we would spend any part of our lives without the other one more than a phone call away. I don’t know how to live without Joey. It seems impossible.
When a soft hand grabs my face, I don’t move. When a soft voice fills my ears, I don’t hear the words. When her nose presses against mine and her green eyes are all I can see, I slowly start to pull out of my trance. Blinking, I concentrate on Emersyn, trying to tune back into reality.
“Cyrus? You’re scaring me,” she pleads with tears in her eyes.
Taking a deep breath, I place my hands on either side of her face and draw what strength I can from the love I see in her eyes. “I’m okay, baby. I’m okay.” It’s only a half truth, but I don’t want her to know what this is doing to me inside.
Releasing her face, I swallow down the lump that has formed in my throat and take slow steps to where Merrick is slowly standing from his crouch, my sister lying at his feet. He turns and walks towards me, head down, eyes cast to the ground, his face expressionless. It’s like he’s not even there, he’s numb to everything. I can relate.
When he walks past me and doesn’t stop, I turn and grab his shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze. He’d done what was right. Something I couldn’t bring myself to do. He pauses but says nothing. When I release his shoulder, he keeps walking.
Emersyn steps into his path and I watch as he keeps his head down. She gets up onto the tips of her toes to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. When she moves away, he walks on.
At the gaping hole in the wall stands Father Martin. I don’t even know when he got here, but his face is full of pain as he watches Merrick walk towards him, so he must know what happened.
Merrick stops when he reaches him, his shoulders slumped as if the weight of the world is weighing him down.
“Merrick?” Father Martin speaks, but still, Merrick doesn’t look up.
“Son, what you did was right.” Merrick doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. “When I realized that Joey was the key, I hurried to get here, worried that I’d be too late. But I needn’t have worried. Joey was brave, smart, and so very wise. What the two of you did saved the world.”
Merrick looks up then, and though I can’t see his face, I can tell by the expression on Father Martin’s that it’s full of pain. He doesn’t reply, but takes a step forward, indicating he wants to leave.
Father Martin steps aside, giving him room to pass. “She’d be proud of you, Merrick,” he says softly as he’s about to step outside. Merrick pauses once more, but doesn’t turn. And then he’s gone.
My eyes lock with Father Martin’s. The pain I feel is reflected back at me. Turning slowly, I look back down at my sister. Merrick had removed the sword, and if you didn’t look at her stomach, you’d think she was only sleeping. I hear Emersyn’s soft sobs coming from behind me. Kneeling slowly, I take Joey’s hand in mine, ignoring the cool temperature of her skin.
“Fuck, Joey,” I whisper, my voice choppy with emotion. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now?” The lump in my throat almost chokes me. “How am I supposed to do this without you bitching at me all the time? I always counted on you to set me straight. So please, tell me how the fuck I’m supposed to go on without you?”
My ears heat and sadness threatens to overwhelm me. Fuck. I stare at her, wishing more than anything for her to open her eyes and shoot off at the mouth like she always does. But she doesn’t.
Grabbing a chunk of brick, I stand from my crouch, my body whipping around and throwing it at the far wall with all the strength I can gather. “Fuck,” I roar.
From behind me, I hear Father Martin speaking softly to Emersyn as she cries, but I barely register it. Rage takes over, heating me from the inside out. Kicking out, my foot connects with a pillar standing in the center of the room, but I only feel minor satisfaction when it crashes to the ground.
Grabbing another chunk of brick, I hurl it too. “Why?” I scream. “Why her? What did she ever do to you but be born? And you make her the fucking key?” Hurling another brick, I scream at the heavens once more. “Fuck you, God!”
My chest heaves as I stare at nothing, wishing I could turn back time and take my sister’s place. What kind of God makes someone like Joey the key to banishing evil? A girl who has devoted her life to making sure He comes out on top? Anger and frustration burn through me. “Fuck you!” I scream once more.
“Cyrus,” Father Martin says. I turn and glare at him, waiting for him to chastise me for speaking to God this way. Waiting for him to defend the God that set my sister up to sacrifice herself to help His mission. “What your sister did, it was out of pure love, son. She did it because she knew it was the right thing to do, what had to happen to save the world. She did is selflessly, and out of bravery. Don’t tarnish her last act to see Le Vieux burn. Don’t negate what she did by placing the blame on God.”
“But God made that her only fucking option,” I roar. “And now where is she?
In hell? Because that fucker would never allow demon blood to pass through the gates into His fucking kingdom!”
“Cyrus, I don’t know what’s in store for Joey in the Afterlife, but I do know that God would never send her to Hell. There will be a special place in the stars for such a brave act of goodness, you must believe that,” he says softly. “Joey fulfilled her destiny, and all of you helped her. She had you to be there for her, love her, and challenge her. She had me to love her and help guide her along her path in life. And she had Merrick, who gave her the love that neither of us ever could, and to help her perform the most selfless act that any being could ever perform. She saved the world, Cyrus. She saved more than just this, she saved them all. And after all of that, I have to believe that God would never forsake her. She’ll be well taken care of. She has to be.”
I stare at him, wanting to argue, yet knowing that what he says is true. Deflated, I move back over to where Joey lies and kneel at her side. “I’m sorry, Sis. I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but thank you for what you did for me—for us all. I love you.”
Stepping aside, I allow Father Martin and Emersyn to say their goodbyes to my sister, but I feel empty inside. Numb.
“We’ll take her to Father Gabriel’s church. We can keep her there until we make arrangements to take her home and bury her at the convent.” I nod at Father Martin’s words, then kneel once more before my sister and gather her in my arms. Standing slowly, I make my way outside with Father Martin and Emersyn following behind me.
“Where do you think Merrick is?” Emersyn asks as she steps up beside me.
I look around at the wreckage of the town. Bodies lay in the streets and the buildings still burn. Merrick is gone.
“I don’t know,” I say, looking down at Joey and realizing for the first time that I don’t know a whole lot about Merrick. I don’t know where he’d go, or who he has to turn to. For the first time, I feel bad for not being nicer to the man my sister chose to love. The thought of him out there alone and in pain after having to sacrifice the woman he loves makes the lump in my throat form once more.
“We need to find him,” she whispers.
I shake my head. “No. I know one thing for sure, Em. If it would have been you, I would want to be alone. He’ll find us when he’s ready.”
-
Merrick
-
I have no words to describe the way I feel as I walk out of the building and away from the only woman I will ever love, but will never have again. The woman I had to kill to save the world.
Heading down the street, I see the lifeless bodies of all the humans that died, but I can’t see their faces—I only see Joey’s. Why did it have to end this way? Why did she have to be the one to sacrifice herself and not me? I’m the one that is less important in the grand scheme of things. She was half-demon, but she was also half-angel, so why her? It isn’t fair.
I pick up my pace, needing to get as far away from this place as possible. I didn’t want to leave her there like that, but I just couldn’t stand to be there anymore. I couldn’t look Cyrus in the eye, knowing that I killed his sister. I know he understands why I did it, and maybe even thanks me for doing it so he didn’t have to, but I’m still the man that took her away from him, and away from the world. What a loss. She was everything good in this world, lighting everything up and making it worth living. How am I supposed to go on without her?
Needing to get out of my head and away from this pain, I break out into a full run, hoping the pain in my legs will distract me from the pain in my heart. But after a few minutes, I know it’s no use. I’ll never get away from this pain I feel, or the image of her in my arms, dead.
By the time I look up and around at my surroundings, I don’t know where I am. I’m still in town, that much I’m sure of, but I’m in a residential area. It looks vaguely familiar, but I don’t know why. Then it hits me. This is Joey’s house, or it was. It now looks like a building that should be condemned, but I could give two flying fucks. I’m going in if it’s the last thing I do.
I’m cautious as I walk through the front door, not wanting to set anything off or cause it to crumble before I get to my destination. Fuck, if the house caves in after I’m upstairs, so be it. But I need to get there first.
Making it to the stairs without incident, I pick up my pace a little, desperate to be in her room—her inner sanctuary, and the last place I was able to hold her in my arms before everything went down. The place we made love for the first, last, and only time.
Once at the top of the stairs, I’m confident that this place isn’t going to fall into rubble. Though I’m not sure if I’m happy about that fact or not. I don’t want to live in this world without Joey. I don’t even know if it’s physically possible to survive the pain I’m feeling.
Passing the debris in the hallway, I make it to Joey’s room, but as soon as I step inside, I’m hit with more pain that I thought imaginable in my heart. There, right in front of me, is the bed I held her on the night before she was ripped away from me, by my very own hands.
Falling to my knees, I scream up to the heavens. “Why her? Take me instead!” Then I lower my head into my hands and let the grief take me over completely.
I wake to a sound from downstairs. I must have fallen asleep after an ocean of pain fell out of me. Now, the only thing left is anger. Mind numbing, all-consuming anger. Summoning my sword, I’m intent on taking out whoever dares enter my shrine of the woman I loved and lost. But before I can even make it to the door, it’s filled with the man that should hate me more than Le Vieux.
“Just kill me,” I beg, my voice filled with agony.
“Merrick?” Cyrus says in surprise, like he never thought he’d see me again.
“I’m so fucking sorry. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could tell her that I couldn’t kill her, that I wouldn’t. This world is nothing without her. Please, just kill me,” I plead, my voice broken and hoarse.
“Merrick,” he says again, coming closer before reaching his hand out. I thought it was in anger, to kill me, but I’m sadly mistaken. “What you did back there...it was the most selfless thing you could have done, and I know my sister is looking down on you—wherever she may be—smiling, and proud of the man she loved.”
He’s quiet then, trying to find the words he needs to say. And me, I have no idea why he doesn’t hate me, or taking me up on my plea to kill me.
“I wasn’t strong enough. But you...you were. She meant everything to you, and you put that all behind you to save the world. You are a better man than I am, because if our roles were reversed, I would have let the world turn to ash.”
I can no longer stay silent. He’s putting me up on some fucking pedestal when he should me grinding me under his boot—driving his sword through my heart like I did his sister. “Fucking don’t, man,” I growl. “What I did was unforgiveable. I want to take it back. I want to take it back and wrap her in my arms again. Even if we only had seconds to live, I would have been happier in those seconds, knowing my last breath would be with her. This is far worse than any torture the Devil himself could conjure up.”
Shaking my head, I turn from him, ashamed to even be in his presence. “How could she think this was the right thing to do? To leave us here—you, me, Father Martin—and think that this is still a world worth saving?” All my life, I thought that my path was to save the world. I strove to do good, and prove to everyone I was not evil, even though my bloodline said different. But now, I wish I never even swore to protect this world, or to serve under God. If this is the thanks I get, then He can kiss my ass because I’m done. I won’t do it anymore. All the good I could still do, the people I could save, is over.
“I feel exactly what you’re feeling right now. I want to blame God, blame the cause. Fuck, I even want to blame you. But that’s all bullshit because Joey did exactly what she sought out to do. She saved the fucking world, man, and you helped her. And yeah, this world sucks without her and makes me rethink
my mission in this life, but Joey wouldn’t want us to think that way. I will not forsake my sister and piss on the gift she gave us. So, this is what you are going to do. You’re going take a few minutes and hash whatever it is you need to in your head, out. Then, you’re going to clean yourself up and meet me downstairs. We have a hero to lay to rest, and you need to be there.” Without another word, Cyrus walks out the door and closes it behind him.
Hating that he’s right, but knowing I need to follow through, I do exactly what he says. My girl deserves one hell of a sendoff, and fuck me, she’s going to get it.
Epilogue
Cyrus – 3 weeks later
-
Life still isn’t back to normal. I’m not sure that there ever will be a normal again without Joey here to ride my ass about something, or to help me figure shit out. So many times over the last three weeks, I’ve needed her. Joey was my go-to person when I didn’t know what to do. And with the state of my life right now, I need her advice more than ever.
We may have saved the world, but the town has suffered a huge blow, the campus especially. Buildings were burned to rubble, and over a hundred students had perished because of that evil fuck. Jerseyville College is no more. After burying Joey, Merrick had disappeared, gone without a word. The pain in his eyes that day easily equaled my own, and I didn’t try to stop him. I just hope that someday I see him again. No matter how much he may have pissed me off, Merrick was a good guy, and maybe even someone I could actually be friends with.
Emersyn and I had followed Father Martin back to the convent. I didn’t know what else to do. Her college career needed to be re-evaluated, and her home life wasn’t something she wanted to get back to. I just wanted to go home. Being in the place where Joey and I had grown up was both soothing and hard to bear. I feel her presence in every corner, and hear her laughter echoing down every corridor. Fuck, I miss her.
My back slams into the mat with a thud, but the impact isn’t enough to do anything to me. Emersyn throws her leg over my hip and straddles me, bringing her face close to mine. “Pay attention, pal. I’m becoming a dangerous weapon.”