We were in his bed, his head on my chest. The room was quiet, apart from the steady sounds of our breathing. Jude’s “sexytime” playlist (really) had finished a few minutes before, so of course he had to fill the silence.
“Really?” he pushed, looking up at me. He narrowed his eyes a little, as if he was going to spend the rest of his life figuring me out.
“I have two different versions of prom in my head,” I explained. “One version is the perfect teen movie version. We’d go to prom as a couple. We’d dance, make out and drink spiked punch. We’d come back here with our friends and stay up until dawn, talking about our hopes and dreams. But we both know it wouldn’t be like that, Jude. We can’t go together. We can’t dance together.”
“We can do the other stuff, though,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to my neck. “We could spend the night here, band sleepover. Do the whole . . . hopes and dreams thing.”
I laughed at that, rewarding him with a kiss to his tousled hair. He beamed up at me, eyes glittering, like making me laugh was all that mattered. It actually sounded like fun, having a band sleepover. We could jam a bit, watch movies and just unwind. With the end of the school year fast approaching, it’d be nice to relax with our friends.
“Sold,” I said with a decisive nod. “You’re responsible for snacks, though. I’ll bring the DVDs.”
“Sounds good,” he replied, losing the end of his sentence to a yawn.
I stroked his hair until his breathing evened out, smiling up at the ceiling until I fell asleep.
***
Kelly Matthews knew she wasn’t really a nice person.
She’d made her peace with it. Her dad always said that nice people finished last, and Kelly had always hated losing. It wasn’t something she was used to, not really. She’d been the youngest girl to become captain of the Wayville High cheerleading squad and had gone on to lead the girls to victory at a national level. She’d been junior prom queen and Spring Fling queen.
She also held the unofficial record for dating JJ Keswick the longest. As far as most of the girls in school were concerned, she was just as iconic as he was. They were a golden couple, beautiful and carefree, the epitome of youth and glamour.
Or, at least, they had been.
Kelly wasn’t sure why JJ had broken up with her, or how long their latest spat would last. He’d come crawling back to her before graduation, she was pretty sure. She’d been willing to wait, bide her time, until Tiffany had “accidently” told her she wasn’t the front runner for prom queen.
Amber, her second-in-command, was apparently on track to take the crown. Or tiara, Kelly wasn’t really sure. Amber was pretty, in a simple kind of way, but had really seen a boost in her popularity after she’d started dating James King. James was almost as good looking as JJ and a great basketball player. Plus, rumor had it, he was actually a pretty nice guy, so everybody liked him. He was a good get and Amber knew it.
Kelly wasn’t going to let her high school career end with a defeat. There was only one way to seal the deal and land her that crown—tiara, whatever. She had to get JJ back.
He’d been polite to her when they saw each other at school. He was still on the basketball team, and she was head cheerleader. So they had maintained something that could pass for casual friendship, at least when other people were around. He’d been pretty set on breaking up, but hadn’t been cruel about it. He’d explained that they’d outgrown each other, it wasn’t her, it was all him and she deserved someone better blah blah blah. Kelly wished she had paid more attention, so she could bring up their conversation while trying to talk him into taking her to prom. No matter—her outfit would pick up the slack if words failed her.
JJ hated Sunday mornings, it was one of the first things Kelly had learned about him. He was usually wasted on Fridays and Saturdays, so it was his hangover day. He was so stuck in his little routines. The bathroom floor and the toilet bowl were his altars on Sunday mornings, always had been.
So she made sure to show up when he was at his most vulnerable. It was pretty early, but she knew her outfit would make up for it. She was wearing her black pleated skirt, the one that skimmed the tops of her thighs. It was a favorite of JJ’s. She’d coupled it with a cute little button down (leaving the top button undone, of course) and a pair of flats. Heels made her taller than JJ, and she didn’t want him to feel self-conscious. She wanted him to look at her and imagine their night at prom together, king and queen.
The gate at the bottom of the drive was closed over, but it wasn’t locked. She checked her lip gloss and pulled her long, blond hair into a cute ponytail before getting out of the car and heading up the drive way on foot.
The front door was locked, which meant Lesley either had the day off or hadn’t arrived yet. With a sigh, Kelly made her way round to the back of the house. The sliding doors by the pool were always left unlocked. JJ had a habit of deciding to jump in the pool drunk and wouldn’t let his impulses be overridden by locked doors.
She caught a glimpse of him as she turned the corner of the house. He was padding through the living room barefoot, his pajama pants slung low across his hips. He’d clearly just woken up, his hair tangled and glittering in the sunlight slanting in through the windows.
He wasn’t alone.
Kelly could feel her cheeks burning with anger when someone else stepped into view, but let out a relieved puff of air when she realized it was just some guy. She didn’t recognize him at first. He was tall and his dark hair was almost as wild as JJ’s, but he didn’t look like anything—or anyone—special.
He stopped to scoop JJ up in his stupid long arms, grinning like an idiot. JJ went easily, smiling softly, eyes fluttering closed when he turned his face up for a kiss.
It was as if she was doing the ice bucket challenge all over again, and she hadn’t really been a fan of it the first time. She did recognize the guy—Jack, the weird gay musician kid—and he was making out with JJ freaking Keswick. JJ, the school’s star basketball player, the most popular kid around. JJ, who was gorgeous, funny, straight and hers.
She wasn’t sure why she decided to pull out her cell to snap a picture, but it was done before she knew it, the betrayal captured in high res and frozen forever. Kelly spent at least eighty percent of her life angry, but this was beyond anything she’d ever felt before. She was furious. JJ had lied to her, had been lying for years, and to add insult to injury, he hadn’t even dumped her for someone hot! He was hooking up with some off-the-radar weirdo who needed a haircut and a back story that didn’t make people so uncomfortable.
Jack left a few minutes later, after exchanging a few sickly sweet kisses with JJ. Kelly waited an extra couple of minutes, gathering her senses—and her fury—before pulling the door open with as much force as she could muster.
JJ wandered out from the kitchen, frowning, with a mug of coffee in his hand. She hated that he looked good, lean, tanned and content. He raised an eyebrow at her and took a sip of his coffee, waiting for her to speak.
“What the hell was that?” she demanded, unable to resist raising her voice. She gestured to the front door, perfectly manicured nails glinting like talons.
“Good morning to you too,” he mumbled, rolling his eyes. “What the hell was what, Kel?”
“Don’t Kel me,” she hissed as he stepped past her.
He sat down on the couch, his back to the sliding doors. She sat on the couch opposite, rummaging in her purse for her phone.
“Is there something I can help you with?”
He seemed so calm. JJ either didn’t think she’d witnessed his affectionate little exchange, or he didn’t care. She had to believe it was the former. There was no way he wanted to be out and proud in a town like Wayville.
She fumbled with her phone, typing in the passcode and pulling up the picture. She shoved it at him, and he took it, eyebrows knitting together when he realized what he was looking at. He glanced up at her, before looking back down at the screen. She folded her arms, p
inning her smug smile to her glossed lips.
“Before you get any ideas of smashing my phone, I’ve uploaded the photo to my cloud storage,” she informed him, voice steady.
“Were you spying on me?” he demanded, color rising across his cheeks. It spilled across his bare chest, the blush giving him away.
“I came to find out if you wanted to get back together,” she replied with a snort. “But now that I know why you dumped me, I’m guessing your answer would be no.”
Something gave way behind his piercing blue eyes, his jagged expression softening around the edges. He put the phone down on the coffee table, running his hands through his hair with a sigh as he leaned back against the over-stuffed couch.
“You think I broke up with you because of Jack?” he asked her, staring up at the ceiling like he couldn’t bear to look at her.
“I’m pretty sure I’m missing something you look for in a partner,” she bit back, anger bubbling in the pit of her stomach when she realized he wasn’t paying attention to her. She was trying to blackmail him. The least he could do was listen!
“This isn’t about Jack,” JJ replied with a condescending little laugh. “This is about me.”
“Isn’t everything?” Kelly hissed. “We’ve been dating for years, JJ, and you’ve been lying to me this whole time!”
“I’m not gay,” he murmured, tearing his eyes away from the ceiling to look at her.
“But you’re not straight.”
“No.”
“So what the hell are you?” she screeched, the last of her patience giving out.
He smiled at her, the crooked, sly smile he was famous for. That grin had gotten him out of trouble as often as it had landed him in it, she was sure of it. That was why she’d wanted him in the first place, right? He was just the right side of dangerous, dancing on the edge but never really going over it. He was the bad boy you could still take home to mom and dad, movie star looks lit by a spark in his eyes that was all his. She hated that he was just a lost little boy, like the rest of them. JJ had convinced her that he had everything figured out, when really he was just one hell of an actor. He smiled sadly at her as if she was already nothing more than a memory.
“I’m JJ fucking Keswick,” he whispered, words laced with bitterness. “I’m not going to label myself to make this easier for you, Kelly. It is what it is. I never cheated on you, okay? We’d been broken up a while before Jack and I got together.”
“And he’s okay with this? Knowing there are double the number of people for his skanky boyfriend to cheat on him with?”
“I’m not going to cheat on him,” JJ replied, his words cold and clipped. “If you need someone to discuss the spectrum of human sexuality with, I can get you my therapist’s number.”
“Spare me. I’ve had a change of heart. We’re not getting back together.”
“Thanks for the head’s up,” he muttered, rolling his eyes.
“But we’re going to prom, and everyone is going to think we’re back together,” Kelly added, setting her shoulders. “You’re a pretty good actor, so it shouldn’t be too hard for you.”
“And why would I go along with this stupid plan?” he asked her, rolling his eyes.
She hated it when he did that, it looked so cliché. “Because school’s not over yet, JJ. You’ve been playing the popularity game your whole life, there has to be a reason why.”
A cloud passed across the sun, sending shadows spilling into the room. He glared at her, the fury in his face matching her own. She smiled, sickly sweet. She really did love to win.
“I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow. You’re going to sit at my table, put your arm around me and laugh with our friends. I’m wearing a royal blue dress to prom, so wear your navy Tom Ford suit. I want a white corsage and a black limo.”
“Anything else?” he asked through gritted teeth.
She stood up and adjusted the pleats in her skirt before looking down at him. “I want to be convinced, like I have been this whole time. Just keep doing what you’ve been doing, and you’ll be fine.”
She sauntered over to the front door, feeling oddly calm, despite the unexpected turn of events. It didn’t really matter to her how she won prom queen. The result was all that she cared about. Everything else was just a stepping-stone. She liked knowing that the infamous JJ Keswick was just a rung on her ladder. For so long, she’d assumed it was the other way round. Knowledge really was power.
“Oh, and JJ?” she said, turning as she opened the door. “You weren’t the only one who was faking it.”
She heard him laughing as she closed the door behind her, but it was hollow, like everything else she’d surrounded herself with. Still, she thought as she walked back down the drive way, it’s better than nothing.
***
“Someone should have told me prom fever is a real thing,” Jude croaked when I answered my phone, a few hours before we were all due to meet at his for our sugar fuelled, prom-avoiding DVD marathon.
“Hey, what’s up?” I asked him, my heart sinking. “You sound really sick.”
He wasn’t the type to get sick. Hungover and cranky, sure, but as far as I knew, he hadn’t been ill all year. Not so much as a sniffle. He’d made it through the winter unscathed, even though Jess and I had both caught epic colds.
“Flu, or something,” he replied, sounding miserable.
“Well, I’ll get Aunt Rose to whip up some of her famous chicken noodle soup, and I’ll come over to keep you company,” I offered. “Just you and me, we can postpone our little outsiders’ prom.”
“You’re sweet,” he sighed, “but I don’t think you should come over, I don’t want you to get sick.”
I argued with him for a couple of minutes, but he won, as always. I tried to convince myself that he was trying to protect me from what sounded like a particularly nasty flu, but knowing he didn’t want me around still stung.
I ended up spending prom night alone in my room, writing a whole bunch of new songs about how much it sucked to spend your life on the outside, looking in at something you weren’t sure you wanted, but didn’t want to be excluded from. I went to bed confused, missing Jude’s easy smile and quick laugh.
I woke up to the news that JJ Keswick and Kelly Matthews had won prom king and queen before heading to the fancy hotel on the outskirts of town. It was all over my classmates’ social media profiles, over-the-top compliments and a blurry photo of JJ and Kelly in the hotel lobby, his arm around her waist.
I’m no stranger to heartbreak. Three of my favorite bands have split up in the past year, each one leaving me devastated for days. But seeing my boyfriend at prom in his ridiculously expensive suit, dancing with a girl I knew he hated when he could have been spending the night with me? That was on another level of pain.
Jessica showed up at the shop as soon as I opened up, carrying two cups of coffee. Her guitar case was slung over her shoulder, and she looked dressed for a fight, the studs on her boots and leather jacket catching the early morning sunlight.
“I’ve been practicing my obligatory he’s-a-bastard-best-friend-monologue,” she told me as she climbed up onto the counter, frowning when she caught a glimpse of the expression I’d expertly hidden behind my increasingly wild hair.
“He told me he was sick,” I murmured, pulling away when she reached out to push my hair away from my face.
“He’s sick alright, in the god damn head,” she muttered. “Have you spoken to him? I’m sure it’s not what it looks like.”
“Really?” I barked out a laugh. “Because it looks like my boyfriend lied to me about being ill so he could take his supposedly ex-girlfriend to prom behind my back before shacking up in some swanky hotel with her.”
“I didn’t stay the night,” JJ said from the doorway, pushing his sunglasses up into his hair as he stepped inside.
My breath stuttered in my chest at the sight of him, causing me to treat my stupid heart to a particularly vicious telling off. He looked like the boy
I thought I knew—skinny jeans and a plain tee shirt, no glamour, no games. I wanted so badly to believe him, but I’d seen the photos myself, grainy and unmistakable.
“Well, this is where I excuse myself in a totally non-subtle way to do something completely pointless so I don’t have to witness this awkwardness,” Jessica said, jumping down from the counter and giving me a salute before she stomped up the stairs to the practice room.
I stared at him for a minute, and he stared right back, his blue eyes blazing, despite the forced nonchalance of his expression. I stayed behind the counter, grateful for the physical barrier between us. I couldn’t get too close—when I was in his orbit, I forgot everything about him that was remotely dangerous.
“I didn’t stay the night,” he repeated, hands up in surrender. “Kelly booked the room weeks ago, and she got so drunk I couldn’t take her back to her house. I took her back to the hotel, got her to her room, that’s it. I wouldn’t cheat on you, Jack, I promise.”
“And I should believe you, because you promise?” I asked, already exhausted. “You lied to me. You told me you were sick.”
“I had to.”
“No!” I yelled, surprising us both. I tore my gaze from his, knowing that every second I spent looking at him would weaken my resolve. “You didn’t.”
“Kelly saw us kissing and took a photo. She was going to out me if I didn’t go to prom with her, and I couldn’t . . . I couldn’t let that happen.”
I could only shake my head, horrified. I wasn’t surprised to hear that Kelly had been up to something so stereotypically evil, the high school bitch archetype is there for a reason. I’d expected more from him. I had watched him sing on a stage in front of hundreds of people, vulnerable and strong all at once. He was capable of incredible things, I’d seen them. I’d been swept up by them, just like the kids at Howie’s. I’d been totally captivated by him more times than I could count. Knowing that he could be bought so easily, with something so trivial . . . it took my breath away.
“I would have given anything to go to prom with you,” I admitted, throat aching with the tears I had to keep pushing down.
Fake It (The Keswick Chronicles Book 1) Page 16