Luke grins. “She a good kisser?”
“That’s for me to know, and you to never find out.” I roll over as Luke snickers behind me.
“Proud of you, bro.”
I close my eyes, already slipping into dreamland.
The next morning I’m woken by a tap on my shoulder.
“Sorry to wake you, hon, but Dad wants to talk.”
Mom holds out the iPad and I roll over with a groan. “What time is it?”
“Nine-thirty.”
“Oh.” I sit up a little higher, surprised I slept so late. I’m usually an early riser.
“Merry Christmas, sweetie.” She kisses my cheek, then musses my hair before leaving me to talk.
“Hey, Papa Bear,” I croak, morning voice kicking in big time.
He chuckles and smiles at me from the screen. “Merry Christmas, bud. How you feelin’ after your popsicle experience last night?”
I cringe. “Mom called you, huh?”
“She was pretty worried, but I knew you’d be all right.” He winks, and I appreciate his confidence.
“What are you up to today?”
“I’ll hang out with Sherry’s family this afternoon.”
I nod, still adjusting to the idea of Dad’s girlfriend. They’ve been dating for about six months and it seems to be going well. I met her over the summer break and she’s pretty cool. Dad’s deliriously happy, and that’s maybe one of the reasons I found the courage to break up with Sheridan. I wanted to speak about my girl with that kind of enthusiasm.
And maybe now I can.
I can’t help a grin, which Dad immediately notices.
“Now, what am I seeing here?” He points at the screen.
My smile grows a little wider, but I don’t have a chance to tell him because Hailey comes bursting in.
“Hurry up, you guys!” She jumps onto my bed, making me groan when her knee clips my thigh.
“Daddy, stop talking so we can open presents!”
“Okay, Starlight. We’ll head downstairs in just a minute, and I’ll watch you guys open your presents from me first.”
“Yay!” She kisses the screen, making Dad laugh some more, before pecking me on the cheek. “Get up, sleepy head.”
I watch her flounce out of the room.
“Nathan, you better be up!” she calls back into the room and I flip off my covers with another groan.
There’s a chilly bite in the air and I think about Shay and hope her room is cozy warm. Peeking out my window, I gaze at her house, wondering what she’s doing right now.
“So, what’s that dreamy look on your face mean?” Dad asks.
I drop the iPad on my bed so I can throw a sweater on, and maybe just hide the fact I’m blushing.
“You got yourself a new girlfriend or something?”
“Maybe,” I murmur, picking up the iPad and heading for the door.
My phone dings on the nightstand and I turn back to get it.
It’s a message from Shay. My insides hitch with pleasure and then concern.
Shay: I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna call.
“Is everything okay, son?”
I glance at Dad, who is still trying to analyze the crap out of my facial expressions.
Luke walks into the room and I hand him the iPad. “I’ll be with you guys in a second. I just need to reply to Shay.”
Luke starts snickering.
“Okay, Lukey-Duke. I need the goods on your brother. Give me the update on the way downstairs.”
“Well…” A gleeful smile grows on my brother’s face as he turns for the door and starts regaling Dad with a long-winded saga of how I’ve been crushing on the girl next door for months and it took me being locked in a cold, smelly cellar with her before I did anything about it.
Dammit. They’re going to get so much mileage out of this.
Shaking my head, I focus back on the phone and quickly reply.
Me: Do you need me to come over?
Shay: No, I’m just putting you on alert. Operation Comfort Hug could be a necessity.
Me: My arms are all yours. Good luck xx
I add in a courage gif to spur her on, then bite my lip and decide to be bold about it, sending one more message before heading down to join my family.
Chapter 19
A Little Christmas Cheer
SHAY
The love heart on my phone screen makes my insides warm and tingly. Nate wished me a Merry Christmas and added a love heart emoji!
I’m flying.
Leaning back on my pillows, I kiss the phone screen, then take a deep breath.
It’s time to call Spencer.
I haven’t told Mom and Dad what I’m doing. Opening the presents under the tree was a deflating experience this morning. Mom’s fingers were shaking as she unwrapped Dad’s gift and she started crying before she’d even got the paper off. This made Dad sigh and rub his bald head before giving me a hopeless look.
I nearly blurted out, “Call your son and tell him you love him and that you hope he has an amazing Christmas with his boyfriend.”
But I couldn’t do it.
I didn’t want Dad exploding when the mood was already so damp.
I quietly unwrapped the book, scarf, necklace, and Amazon gift card Mom promised me. The necklace was a nice surprise and I put it on right away, but it didn’t dull the sting of no beanie. Spencer used to buy me one every year for Christmas. That’s why I own so many. It’s a tradition.
And it’s not okay that the tradition has stopped.
So maybe Nate’s right. Maybe it’s up to me to fix this.
My fingers shake as I press my brother’s name and then I bite my lip so hard it hurts. But my teeth won’t let up, not until Spencer answers the phone with a tentative, “Hey, sis.”
“Merry Christmas.” I force a smile, hoping he can hear it. I should have video called him instead, but I’m suddenly too shy to mention it.
This is weird. We haven’t spoken in nearly a year. It’s like starting over with a stranger.
“Ho. Ho. Ho.” His reply makes me grin.
“Did Santa bring you anything good?”
“Well, no, but Charlie bought me this kick-ass stereo for my car.”
“Nice. I’m glad you’re still together.”
He pauses and I wonder what he’s thinking. Is he surprised by my response? My gut clenches. He never gave me a chance to tell him what I really thought. To tell him I support him. That I want him to be happy!
After a beat that seems way too long, he whispers, “Yeah. We’re…we’re going strong.”
I swallow, not sure what to say next. This is so awkward.
“How about you? Santa deliver the goods?”
“Um, mostly, except…well… my beanie was missing.”
Silence.
Maybe I said it too softly. I did kind of whisper the words.
Spencer clears his throat and rasps, “Sorry about that, sis. I didn’t know if anything with my return address would be welcome in the house.”
“How could you think that?” My voice sounds as crushed as my spirit.
“I didn’t exactly leave on the best of terms, Shay. They didn’t want me the way I was. And I can’t change for them. I shouldn’t even have to.”
“No, you shouldn’t.” I shake my head, then try to hold onto my failing courage. “I mean, you shouldn’t have to stop being gay. It’s who you are. And that’s great.”
“But…”
“But people change. Like their attitudes and stuff can change…if you just give them a chance.” He doesn’t say anything, and I desperately blurt, “They miss you. We all do.”
“You never call.”
“Neither do you. In fact, you made it pretty clear you didn’t want to hear from any of us. And you ignored all of Mom’s calls and texts until she gave up!”
“I didn’t want her trying to convince me that I’d made a mistake. She kept begging me to come home, begging me not to be with Charlie like m
y love is something I can just switch off!”
“I know they don’t get it. And I’m sorry. But pushing them away isn’t going to help them understand.”
Silence again.
It’s heavier this time.
Dense with unspoken pain.
I bite my lip, wishing Nate was beside me. He could be giving me conversation prompts. Dammit. Why didn’t I say I needed him to come over for this?
“I don’t…” Spencer sighs. “I haven’t called because I was worried that it would just create another massive explosion between Dad and me. I’m not giving up on Charlie. I love him. We’re carving out a good life for ourselves. I’ve got an apprenticeship working at this awesome restaurant in downtown Seattle. He’s got one year left to finish up his law degree. Things are going well for us.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Really?”
“Of course! You’re my brother. I want you to be happy.”
“You don’t… hate me for… being gay?”
“That would be a really stupid reason to hate someone.” I sigh. “Dad doesn’t hate you either, he just doesn’t know how to deal with it. We have no gay people in our lives and then all of a sudden his son comes out and he can’t process it.” Closing my eyes, I try to tiptoe through my words, making sure I’m saying the right thing. “And it’s not just the gay thing. You didn’t just come out, Spence. You told us you were in love with a guy we didn’t even know existed and then you quit school and took off to live with him. From the moment you told us, you were in defense mode like you expected us to be disgusted by you or something.”
Spencer’s not saying anything, and I have no idea if he’s rolling his eyes or actually hearing me.
I press on anyway, knowing I have to get this out. “Dad should accept you just the way you are, but you need to give him a chance to adjust. He had dreams of you going to college and then meeting some sweet woman like mom and having a family. He’s struggling to wrap his head around this new son that he had no idea was gay.”
“It’s not my fault he’s completely unobservant.” Spence sighs. “I tried to do it his way and it nearly killed me. I’m happy now.” He clicks his tongue and I can picture his cringe so clearly in my mind. “Maybe I was a little defensive when I told you guys, but Charlie had a really bad experience with his family, and I guess I just expected the same thing. Dad proved me right.”
“Yeah.” I concede with a shrug. “And that’s very not cool. But Mom’s downstairs crying right now, missing her boy. And Dad doesn’t know what to do. And I’m not calling you with some kind of guilt trip. I just… I just wanted to wish you Merry Christmas and tell you I miss you. That we all miss you. And that we love you.” I choke up, my eyes starting to burn as emotion takes me out.
Spencer doesn’t say anything, and I worry that this might be a wasted call. Am I just making the divide bigger?
“I love you too.” Spencer sniffs. “And I’m sorry I haven’t called. I just didn’t think any of you wanted to hear from me.”
“I do. Always. I want to be a part of your life.”
“Ditto.” His soft laughter is breathy and relieved. “Aw man. It’s good to hear your voice, sis. Tell me something new.”
The words send sparkles of warmth shooting through me. Spence always said that to me at the end of the day.
Tell me something new.
I grin and blink at my unshed tears. “Ummm… okay, well, I got locked in a cellar last night.”
“You what?”
“At the Barrett Ranch.”
“What the hell were you doing there?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Lay it on me, sister. I’m all ears.”
We spoke for over an hour. It was good to catch up on all his news. And just before I wrapped up the call, I told him I might try calling him again sometime.
“I’ll always answer a call from you, sis. Always.”
It means the world to me and I skip down the stairs with a happy bounce.
Gripping my hands together, I walk into the kitchen. Mom’s already cracked open a bottle of wine. I glance at the clock. Yikes, 11am and she’s drinking. This could be an interesting day.
Clearing my throat, I get her attention just as Dad walks in from the living room.
My gut clenches tight as I glance between the two of them.
“What is it?” Dad frowns.
I swallow and start playing with the ends of my hair. Keeping my eyes on the floor, I mumble as quickly as I can, “I just spoke to Spencer for like an hour and it was awesome. He’s really happy, and I think you should call him and tell him that you love him no matter who he dates and that you miss him and then you should just listen with an open heart and an open mind.” I dare to look up, my eyes wide as I skim Dad’s expression, then look at Mom’s face.
“I tried.” Mom’s voice wobbled. “I tried for months and he never answered.”
I blink, feeling Mom’s pain as if it were my own. My voice start to wobble too, and tears glass my eyes. “You should try again. He might pick up today. His cellphone number hasn’t changed. Just call him. Please.”
Before they can respond, I spin around and race to the front door, too scared to stick around for the inquisition Dad will no doubt lay on me.
What’d you talk about?
Tell me why you called him?
How could you do this behind our backs!
I have no idea if those are the things he’s thinking, but it’s Christmas Day. And that is one day of the year that there should be zero arguments.
Crap, maybe I shouldn’t have told them to call.
What if Spence doesn’t answer?
What if he does and they end up fighting?
I close my eyes, nerves rattling my insides until my stomach is actually trembling.
I have to get out of this house.
Nate’s probably wondering how the call went, anyway, and I don’t want to leave him hanging. I could text him, but where’s the fun in that? This way, even though no comfort hug is required, I might still score myself a Christmas hug…and even a kiss.
Yikes! Is this happening?
Yesterday wasn’t just a dream, was it?
Have Nate and I moved out of the friend zone and into something more?
Nerves scour me as I click the front door shut behind me and walk down the porch steps.
I jerk to a stop on the snowy front path and freeze still. “What are you guys doing here?”
Krissy scowls at me, then dips her head while a shame-faced Alex places a hand on her lower back and nudges her forward.
Aw man, Christmas Day was looking up! I so don’t want to deal with this right now.
I glance longingly at Nate’s front door, then turn back to face the baroness. Pressing my lips together, I resist the urge to greet her with the title and cross my arms instead.
A white puff of air spurts out of Krissy’s mouth before she looks up and practically growls at me, “I’m sorry, okay? I thought it’d be a funny joke, but then my car broke down and it turned into a nightmare. I didn’t mean for it to happen that way.”
My eyebrows pop high. I was not expecting that.
“Um…” I’m kind of not sure what to say.
Thank you?
Or I forgive you?
I open my mouth in the hope that something will pop out, but before I can say anything Nate’s charging out his front door, pulling on his jacket and glaring at Alex and Krissy. He jumps the fence between our properties and comes to stand right beside me.
“What are you guys doing here?” His voice is snappy, the look on his face kind of fierce.
Is it weird that I’m totally swooning?
Nate’s charged out here to protect me.
I’ve always prided myself on being independent and unbeatable, but damn if I don’t have a serious case of wobbly knees right now. I could get used to Nate Parker having my back.
“We’re apologizing.” Krissy spits out the w
ord.
“Both of you?” He gives Alex a pointed glare.
Alex looks wounded. “Hey, I didn’t lock you guys in that cellar.”
“No, you just flashed around a photo you promised Shay you’d deleted off your phone!” Nate’s arm comes around me and I lean against him, loving the squirming expression on Alex’s face right now.
“I didn’t flash it around. Krissy was looking through my phone and saw it! I deleted it after that, but she’d already sent it to herself.”
“You guys suck!” I flick my hand up.
Nate chuckles and looks down at me, his gaze radiating with affection.
Holy crap! That’s for me! He likes me. He’s got the feels… for me!
Kissing the top of my head, he squishes me against his side. “You do suck, but we would like to thank you.”
“For what?” Krissy’s face bunches with confusion.
“Well, Alex, if you hadn’t acted like a total D-bag, and Krissy, you the ultimate baroness, then Shay and I wouldn’t have gotten locked in that cellar together.” He turns to face me, holding my shoulders and grinning. “And I might never have had that moment to kiss her.”
I smile so wide my mouth actually hurts.
There’s a muttered comment next to me, but I don’t hear it, because all I can see, taste, feel and smell is Nate. He bends down and brushes his lips against mine, before leaning back to look into my eyes.
“I’m sorry I waited way too long to tell you.” His expression flashes with regret.
I shake my head, not wanting any negative emotions to ruin the moment. “Want to be my boyfriend?”
“Yeah. For like a really long time.”
“Okay.” I giggle, wrapping my arms around his neck and rising to my tiptoes. He crouches down to kiss me properly and the world disappears again.
There’s no snow, cold, bitchy girls or cheating boyfriends.
It’s just me and Nate.
When we finally pull apart for some air, I notice that it is in fact just me and Nate.
“I think we scared them off.” I giggle, resting my head against his chest.
He laughs, perching his chin on my head. “Are you okay? Is that comfort hug required or…?”
'Tis the Season for Love: A Charity Box Set Page 16