“Natalie’s not an elf name,” he said. She passed him to Santa, who lifted Wyatt onto his lap.
“I guess it’s not,” she said.
“And you don’t look like an elf. Mommy says you look like a tramp.”
Jeremy had a sudden coughing fit that he tried to cover with an enthusiastic “HO HO HO.” Natalie stepped back and turned her head so that Wyatt wouldn’t see her laughter. Wyatt’s mother scowled at her from over in the waiting area. Alex stood next to the camera, looking frustrated.
Natalie pulled herself together. “You can tell your mommy that this elf is going to law school,” she said.
“That’s stupid. Elves can’t be lawyers. They’re elves.”
Natalie took her place just behind Santa, whose shoulders were still shaking with laughter, as Alex began snapping pictures.
Natalie took Wyatt’s hand again and led him by Alex, where she grabbed the card with the photo information on it. She handed Wyatt back to his mother, who gave a last disapproving glare before snatching the card from Natalie.
“How are your feet?” Alex asked as she passed by.
Oh, now you’re concerned. Natalie held back an eye roll. “Better now.”
“You and Santa should probably cool it with the chit chat. He was moving in every frame with that last little kid.”
Natalie somehow doubted that was the reason Alex didn’t want her talking to Jeremy. She nodded but ignored him.
“Eggplant parmesan?”
Jeremy shook his head and she could see his eyes smiling at her beneath his hat. Natalie tried to count how many of the ten questions she had left, but she couldn’t remember. It wasn’t many, but then, there were no losers in this game.
During lunch, Jeremy disappeared again down the hallway and Natalie wondered where he was going, still dressed in costume. This meant she had to save her final questions for the afternoon. They were hit with a rush of people in the afternoon and Natalie’s guesses tapered off as she tried to move kids through as quickly as possible.
“I’m running out of guesses here. How am I doing? That doesn’t count as a question, by the way.”
He held up three fingers. “Three left? Man. I’m running out of Italian foods. Calamari?” He shook his head and held up two fingers.
“Guys! We’re working!” Alex called over, an edge to his voice. Natalie rolled her eyes but kept her last two guesses for the end of the day when she walked with Santa back to their break room. Alex stayed behind, doing something with his camera and the light setup.
“Lasagna?”
Jeremy shook his head, the beard tickling Natalie’s cheek. “Last question. Make it count. Here’s a hint: I hate tomatoes.” He repositioned the beard back over his chin as they walked out.
“Your favorite food is Italian, and you don’t like tomatoes? Wait—that question was rhetorical. Doesn’t count. It doesn’t count!”
“I’ll let that one slide, but only because it’s your last one. That hint should narrow down like ninety percent of the menu. If you can’t figure it out, well, then you deserve to have to buy me dinner. And yes, I do have expensive taste, so good thing we worked this excellent, high-paying job.”
“I had to look up Italian menus during the lunch break. Where do you disappear to during lunch, anyway?”
“Is that your last question?”
“No! My last guess is…fettucine alfredo?”
“Nope. You lose. Sorry, not sorry.”
They made it into the back hallway and Jeremy pulled off the beard. Now Natalie could see his smile on full display. He continued pulling off the parts of the costume as they made it into the break room. Again, he was wearing a simple white T-shirt and jeans underneath the suit. It must have been hot inside the suit because his shirt looked a little damp with sweat.
“Well, aren’t you going to tell me the answer?”
“You’ll see when I order it tonight at dinner. Need me to pick you up? Or should we meet there?”
“Depends. Where are we going?” Natalie asked.
“The most expensive Italian place in Richmond,” Jeremy said.
She groaned. “I really didn’t want to have to blow this week’s budget taking Santa out to dinner…”
“Kidding. You know Angela’s? It’s off Ridge Road next to that 7-11.”
“I’ve never been there, but I know where it is. So, I’ll see you in an hour?”
“Sounds perfect.”
“Can I carry you to your car?”
Natalie laughed. “My feet are much better. I’d settle for you walking with me.”
Jeremy held the door as they walked from the hallway back into the mall. He bumped his hip into hers playfully, and they headed toward the door. She grinned over at him without fully turning her head.
“Natalie!”
Before her mind registered the voice calling across the mall, her body recognized it and she stopped walking. Jeremy shot her a curious look and they both turned toward the voice. Natalie didn’t think she was dreaming, exactly, but she’d thought about this moment so many times that it was hard to digest that Seth was walking towards her.
She had been hoping to hear his voice calling her name for months now—that he would show up like this, chasing her down to apologize or explain. But as Seth moved closer, Natalie felt torn. She had hoped for him to come back. Hoped was too small a word. She had yearned for him to come back, longed for it. Until this week. Now she felt conflicted. She glanced at Jeremy, who stood stiffly with his hands in his pockets.
Seth’s smile grew bigger as he reached them. He’d lost weight, Natalie realized. He always had that kind of big, teddy-bear frame she loved to snuggle into. She had always been happy with the way he looked and wasn’t sure what to make of the change. He was still a big guy, with the kind of broad chest that she had folded into so many times when she needed comfort, but now his waist was a bit trimmer, his cheekbones more defined. Seeing him did funny things to her heart. She felt squeezed and breathless as she looked over his closely-cropped sandy hair and big, brown eyes.
Before Natalie could think about how to react to him, he pulled her into a hug. The smell and feel of him was so familiar, even as she noted how her arms circled around his waist more easily. She stiffened and pulled away quickly, moving to stand closer to Jeremy again. He looked totally awkward, like he had stumbled into a private moment that he shouldn’t be witnessing.
Seth stuck out his hand. “Hey. I’m Seth. Natalie is—was, uh…”
“My ex,” Natalie said, realizing that her voice held an icy note. “Seth is my ex. Seth, this is Jeremy.”
It felt strange not to give Jeremy some kind of title. But what was he? Santa Claus? Her co-worker? The guy she was about to have a first, now very awkward date with?
“Well,” Seth said. “I’ve been trying to catch up with you and your mom said you were working here. This is, um, quite the change from your normal dog-sitting jobs.”
Even with the leggings and boots, Natalie felt uncomfortable as he glanced at her. He didn’t look at her like Alex did, but he looked surprised. Maybe a little disappointed. She crossed her arms.
“How have you been trying to catch up with me? You didn’t call or text. I didn’t get an email. You talked to my mom?”
Natalie realized that her voice sounded much too shrill. There was a lot of emotion bleeding through that she didn’t want to be there. What was he thinking just showing up like this after months of complete silence? A part of her was thrilled to see him, but it was much smaller than the part of her that wished she and Jeremy had left either five minutes earlier or five minutes later to miss seeing Seth altogether.
Seth’s eyes flicked to Jeremy and then back to Natalie. “Look, can we talk privately? Just for a few minutes.”
Natalie had opened her mouth to say no, but Jeremy said, “I’ll wait over here.” She watched him walk over toward the exit, pulling out his phone and not looking at her once. When Natalie turned back to Seth, she was
frustrated, but he looked happy. Maybe just a little sheepish. She wanted to wipe the look off his face.
“You can’t just show up here like this,” she said, her voice tight and low. She didn’t want Jeremy to have to hear any more of this than he already had.
“I’m sorry,” Seth said.
“Are you? You don’t look particularly sorry. For months now, there was no communication. You dumped me for reasons you wouldn’t tell me and then…were gone. Three years of a relationship—poof! Gone. No explanation. Radio silence. Actual silence. And now I have a date with someone and you happen to show up?”
“You have a date? With him?” The happy look disappeared from his face.
Natalie looked toward Jeremy. She half-expected him to have disappeared, but he stood near the exit, leaning against the wall, typing into his phone. “We were on our way to dinner.”
Seth’s cheeks flushed, and he looked down at his shoes. They were the same scuffed loafers he always wore. Despite the fact that she was hurt and angry, for some reason, seeing the familiar shoes tugged at her heart. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay. Just… what did you want to talk about?”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I shouldn’t have come.”
As he began to back up, Natalie found herself moving toward him. “Seth, wait. You came here to talk to me. Talk.”
“I’ll call you,” Seth said. “We’ll talk later. If you want to. Go on your date. He’s still waiting.”
As Natalie’s eyes flicked to Jeremy, Seth turned and walked away. She felt torn between them: Jeremy, waiting and looking serious, and Seth, walking away looking wounded. Seth had been the one to wound her. She didn’t need to feel sorry for him, though she did want to know why he wanted to talk and why now. The curiosity almost drove her to chase him down, but she wouldn’t do that with Jeremy waiting for her.
“Everything okay?” he asked as she returned to him. He gave her a tight smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Yeah,” Natalie said.
An uncomfortable silence settled between them as they left the mall. Jeremy held the door and then shoved his hands back into the pockets of his jeans as they moved into the cold.
“So, that was awkward,” Natalie said. “I’m sorry.”
“Is he a pretty recent ex? Things seemed…intense.”
Natalie sighed, her breath visible in the air. “It’s been about five months. But we were together for three years. I haven’t talked to him since we broke up, so I’m not sure why he showed up.”
“Did you break up with him, or…?”
Jeremy tried to keep his voice and face casual, but she could hear what was behind the question. If she had broken up with Seth, it would mean that she had been over him for a long time. If he had broken up with her, that would mean that she could still harbor feelings. Which, based on the erratic beating of her heart and the oddly conflicting thoughts in her head, she obviously did.
“He broke up with me,” Natalie said.
“Oh,” Jeremy said.
Natalie wished that she could take the last five minutes back. She wanted to somehow make Seth not show up. This quick exchange had created a sense of doubt that she could see all over Jeremy’s face. She had her own doubts, now swirling around in her chest along with the questions popping up in her head.
What did he want? Why now? Was he going to apologize? Explain why he broke up with her? Ask her to get back together with him?
Did she want to?
“Natalie?”
She didn’t realize that Jeremy had been talking. “Sorry. What did you say?”
They had reached her car and silence spread between them. Jeremy leaned back against the car next to Natalie’s as she toyed with her keys. He was, again, just in a T-shirt and she was sure he had to be freezing. Even with her coat, she was shivering.
“Look,” Jeremy said. “I don’t want to pretend like that wasn’t really awkward.”
“Little bit,” Natalie said. “I’m really sorry.”
Jeremy nodded. His eyes traveled over her face and Natalie felt her emotions swell. Seeing Seth had been confusing emotionally, but there was no confusion about the attraction she felt toward Jeremy. This is where she wanted to be. Here, with him. Not with Seth, no matter what he had to say.
So why did she still find herself wanting to run after Seth to find out what he wanted?
“Would you mind if we postponed our date?” Jeremy said.
The words took a moment to sink in, raking over her skin before they settled. Natalie sucked in a breath, trying not to let her emotions show on her face. “That’s fine,” she said too quickly.
“Rain check?” Jeremy shot her a smile, but it didn’t have the same quality that she had grown used to over the past few days. He began to back away from the car.
“Sure. See you tomorrow,” Natalie said, looking down as she got in the car. She didn’t want to risk Jeremy seeing the tears she was trying to choke back. Slamming the car door had a note of finality to it. When she looked up again, Jeremy was gone.
Natalie felt a confusing storm of emotions in her stomach. She didn’t want to reschedule the date with Jeremy. She didn’t want him to leave. But seeing Seth had thrown her off. She wanted to hear him out. It was just about closure. Before she could move on, she needed to know why. It wasn’t because she still had feelings…probably.
If only he had picked a different time to contact her. This was what she had wanted for months. But now more than anything, she felt disappointment, sharp and bitter. Seth had shown up just in time to derail her date with Jeremy. Of course he had. It wasn’t enough to end their relationship. He had to screw up her chances with Jeremy.
But who was she kidding? She barely knew Jeremy. Sure, he seemed nice and funny. But he was essentially a stranger. Maybe going on a date with him was a terrible idea and Seth showing up saved her. Tomorrow might be the last time she ever saw Jeremy. Did she really think she would start something with him? Christmas meant lots of family time and then Natalie would head back to school after the first week in January.
It’s not like there was a future with Jeremy. He was just a random guy she had met. Seth saved her from getting her heart all tangled up with some guy she might not ever see again.
So why did her heart feel so heavy as she drove home?
Chapter 4
Day 4 - December 24
From the start, Natalie sensed this last day was going to be a disaster. She woke up late, still feeling the heavy disappointment from the night before hanging over her. Not only did she not go on her date with Jeremy, but Seth didn’t even call after he walked off in the mall. He showed up just long enough to wreak havoc. This week she had finally started to feel like she was moving on. Now it was like she had taken several big steps backward.
In her rush to get dressed, Natalie yanked too hard on her boot and the zipper broke. Her only other passable shoes were black flats, but they rubbed at the back of her heel where she already had blisters. So, she chose her red Converse high tops. If Jeb had an issue with boots, he was going to lose his mind over these shoes. Thankfully when she got to the break room before work, Jeb was nowhere in sight.
Alex must have already been at his post because Jeremy was the only one in the room. After the way they left things last night, she didn’t know what to say to him. The room seemed heavy with the awkwardness between them.
He looked up briefly, but she couldn’t tell his mood behind his costume. Today’s book was Travels with Charley, a book by John Steinbeck she’d never heard of. He stood as she shoved her purse in the locker.
“You ready?” she asked, her voice sounding strangely stiff. She hadn’t meant to sound that way, but this morning she was having a hard time masking her emotions.
“Sure,” he said. Normally she took his arm, but today she simply walked ahead of him down the hallway, her arms crossed over her chest.
When they reached th
e door out to the mall, Jeremy reached past her to grab the door handle. “Hey,” he said. “Are you upset with me?”
Natalie leaned against the wall, looking down at her shoes. “I’m not upset. I just… I don’t know. It’s stupid. Let’s just get to work.”
Natalie put her hand on the door, but Jeremy pulled the handle back to keep it closed. He leaned forward slightly, touching her arm with his gloved hand. She wanted to lean into his touch or to grab his hand, but she kept her body angled toward the door.
“I shouldn’t have canceled dinner last night,” he said. “That was a mistake. I was just really thrown off by your ex showing up. I felt a little… jealous. Which is dumb. You still want to go out with me?”
The darkness lifted slightly. She bit her lip, trying to hold back her smile. “Yeah. I do.”
“How about after work tonight? You have plans?”
Natalie wanted to groan. “Actually, yeah. It’s Christmas Eve. I’ve got a church service with my family.”
Since her dad was a pastor, he had to attend all the services, but usually Natalie went with her mother and Jimmy to the last service, which everyone referred to as the midnight service, since that’s when it ended. Emily joined them most of the time as well, since her parents didn’t go to church. This would mean Jeremy meeting her family and her best friend, all on a first date, the day after a run-in with her ex. That was a lot.
Jeremy studied her face. She wished again that she could see his expression behind the mask. “Would it be weird if I joined you? Maybe we could have dinner after?”
“It’s at eleven tonight.”
“Okay, so dinner before? I know that would mean meeting your family and going to church on our first date, which seems kind of serious. But then, we have kind of done things out of order here, right?”
Natalie smiled. “I’d like that. You wouldn’t mind doing a dinner-then-church thing?”
“I’ll admit that it’s a first for me. But I think it would be the best Christmas Eve for me in years.”
Natalie met his eyes, bright and smiling beneath the fake eyebrows. Today they were pulled low, so he looked more serious than surprised. She couldn’t see his dimple but knew exactly where it was underneath the beard.
'Tis the Season for Love: A Charity Box Set Page 89