“I-Um, I don’t know,” she said. Okay now, don’t ask another stupid question…just ask her if she wants to go out with you.
“I was wondering if you wanted to maybe have dinner or something.”
She stopped walking and looked at me. That’s a bad sign, right? She can say yes while she’s walking, but for a no, a person really needs to stop. Damn, it’s cold out here. My nose is frozen, and parts way south aren’t doing much better. Come on, Molly. Say yes, that’ll warm me up.
“I really don’t think it’s a good idea Brock, but thank you,” she said. So…is she thinking dinner is not a good idea or a movie, or going out with me? Should I ask her, or will that just make me look desperate and stupid?
“Oh, okay,” was what I said. Profound, huh? I tried to keep a neutral facial expression too. I really didn’t want her to think I was desperate. She started walking again, for a minute, and then she stopped and said, “I’m sorry Brock. It’s not you at all. I’m just not looking to date anyone right now.”
“Oh, okay,” I said again. Hey, it worked the first time. We made it the rest of the way to her dorms in silence. I was crushed. I had envisioned asking her out, her saying yes and me…going in for the kiss at the end of the date. I looked at her now with her full, pretty, red lips and thought that maybe I’d never get to kiss her after all.
She turned to me and said, “Brock, thank you so much for walking me home. I’m sorry you have to walk all the way back now. It’s so cold.”
“It’s okay. You have a good night.”
What else could I say? I walked back to the football stadium, and I climbed onto the back of the only woman who truly ever loved me, Suzie. The ride home was cold, but by that time I was numb and I didn’t care.
Chapter Five
Molly
I went up to my room and watched out the window until he was out of sight. I think I really hurt his feelings. As soon as I said no and I saw his face, I wanted to take it back. I like the Brock who is always amused and I hated being the person who took that away from him. I felt mean, plain and simple.
I blame this on Megan, and of course if Megan is to blame then Jake has to shoulder some of it as well. I told them both I didn’t want a boyfriend. If they hadn’t felt compelled to hook me up with hot-guy Brock, I would be ignorantly going through life, not even knowing he existed. And then he would still be walking around with his amused expression instead of looking sad and hurt.
I mean, come on…it’s not like I was his only choice. He’s gorgeous, of the drop-dead variety. He could go to the club alone and leave with three women on his arm if he wanted to, I’m sure. He could leave with three women with two good kidneys each. That’s five more kidneys than I have. He doesn’t know how lucky he is that I said no. However he looked at it, even if he only left with one healthy chick, he was getting double the kidney. I was doing him a public service, really. That way, when he found out about my lack of kidneys and the cancer on the one I had left, he’d be spared breaking up with me like Zack, my last boyfriend did. I realized then that I hadn’t been able to see him for ten minutes, yet here I was still staring out the window.
I continued my silent rant, but threw myself on the bed where it was more comfortable instead. I lay there and went back and forth between, “I did the right thing. I don’t want a boyfriend right now. I don’t want to set myself up again. Guys aren’t good at dating girls with cancer. I don’t want to put him in that position,” and, “What the hell am I thinking?”
Finally I pulled myself up off the bed and out of my pity party. I dragged myself into a hot shower. I was still freezing. Maybe that’s what happened; my brain was frozen over when he asked me out. Yes, that’s it; I’ll just call him now and say, “Hi Brock, this is Molly. I’d love to go out with you. I’m sorry I said no earlier, but my brain was frozen.” That should do it. I guess I wasn’t quite finished with the pity party.
By the time Megan got back I was asleep. At least that’s what she thought, so she left me alone and at least for the night I didn’t have to explain myself. In reality I was playing over the scene with Zack in my head, the night he sat at my bedside in the hospital and told me that all of this cancer stuff was really just too serious for him. It wasn’t me, it was him. Hey, at least he didn’t do it in a text message.
I made it out of the room the next morning still in luck. Megan was taking advantage of her Saturday and sleeping in. When I left for work, she still hadn’t stirred. I considered taking her pulse, but if she woke up while I was doing it, it might look a little weird.
Cassie was waiting for me when I got there, and the fact that today was going to be the first day I got to work the coffee machine on my own, really seemed to excite her.
“Hey! There’s my ardent student.”
Ardent? I’ll bet she’s English major. It might just be me, but I think I would have gone with eager, or zealous…maybe even devoted. Ardent just wasn’t an impressive word if you asked me, but what did I know? I’m a liberal arts major.
“Hi Cassie!” I said, trying to sound ardent.
She showed me a few of the trickier moves on the machine, and by noon I was flying through those mochas and lattes and even getting the milks right. If my arm were longer I would have patted myself right on the back. I was so into the art of creating coffee that I didn’t even see Megan walk in. She yelled my name, causing me to literally jump in the air.
“Hey, Meggs! Why are we yelling?” I asked her.
She laughed and said, “Because I said your name three times. You were so focused on your coffee making.”
“It takes concentration to do it right,” I said, embarrassed that she had caught me so focused on a coffee machine. “What are you doing here? Did you just get up and need a cup of coffee?”
She laughed, “Okay, I slept in a little bit. We didn’t all go home and go to bed early though. How was your walk home last night?”
“Cold,” I said.
“Really, just cold? Isn’t Brock a sweetheart?”
“He’s a doll,” I told her.
“Molly, don’t be sarcastic.”
“I’m not, I swear. I really think he’s a doll. I kind of need to get back to work though, so did you want a coffee…or?”
“No, thank you. Jake and I are going to try out that new club Aqua tonight. You want to go?”
“Um-no, I don’t think so,” I said.
I was remembering Brock talking about that guy Joe wanting him to play there.
“Aw, come on Molly. What are you going to do? You’ll just sit in the dorm room alone all night. Please! You’re turning into a hermit.” Megan made a pleading face at me, one that she knew I couldn’t say no to.
“Molly! Two orders waiting!”
It was Cassie, and I was disappointing my teacher.
“Okay, Meggs. I have to get back to work. I’ll go tonight, now scoot before I lose my job.”
Megan grinned, “Thanks Molly! You’ll have a great time, I promise.”
“Yeah, yeah…Get out!” I told her with a smile.
I made it through the day with only screwing up one order. Cassie was trying to be supportive, while telling me what I needed to do better at the same time. I was trying to keep a straight face. Maybe she wasn’t just an English major; maybe she was going to be an English teacher. At the end of her speech she said, “I can show you the basics, but you’ll have to find your own rhythm.” What I saw was a blind Chinese man, who said, “I can only point the way, Grasshopper. You must walk the path yourself.” Well, it would be funny if you had grown up with your grandmother who still watched old re-runs of Kung-Fu every weekend.
Megan had left me a note telling me she had gone to get Jake when I got home. She said that they were going to eat and then would pick me up around eight. It gave me time to shower and get dressed. It was funny, or sad, that I put on the first outfit I picked out and left it on tonight when I was going to the club, yet for a football game I changed three times. Could th
e difference be Brock, perhaps? Shut-up Molly!
I was ready to go by the time Megan got there. As I climbed in the backseat, Jake looked back at me and said, “Why won’t you go out with Brock?”
Megan closed the car door and said, “Jake, leave her alone.”
“It’s okay, Meg. I can handle him,” I told her. “I don’t want to go out with him.” So there. I gave myself points for not sticking out my tongue.
“What’s wrong with him?” Jake said.
“Jake really, Leave her alone.”
“There’s nothing wrong with him,” I said. “I just don’t want to go out with anyone right now. What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing, Molly,” he said it with a sigh. “I just think you’d really like him.”
“Maybe you should go out with him,” I told him with a grin. In true, girl-got-my-back form, Megan said, “Well, they do already live together.” Then we both laughed and Jake pouted the rest of the way to the club.
I had heard about this place; the college crowd really loved it. I’m not a big fan of clubs. I don’t drink; I can’t really because of my meds, and I’m not a big crowd girl anyway. I prefer smaller, more intimate settings. I know I really should be thirty-five instead of nineteen. My grandma used to tell me that all the time and Megan does still. From the outside it looked like fun. It was the inside of a converted warehouse that was red brick and still had an original old wrought-iron fire escape running up the side. The Aqua sign was blue neon and there was also a giant neon martini glass with a giant green olive stuck in it.
We paid our cover and got our hands stamped and went inside. The place was huge, and the first floor had a massive sunken dance floor and a separate drinking and dining room. People were dressed really nice. I looked down at my little black dress with the light blue skirt and hoped I was dressed okay. Megan saw me looking at myself and said, “You look great, Molly. I wish you knew how pretty you are. Everyone thinks so.” I smiled at her, because what else was I going to say to that?
“Thanks, Meg,” I told her. Megan took me by the hand and said, “Dance with me Molly!”
I looked out towards the dance floor where there were about a bazillion people, and then back at Jake.
“Isn’t that your job, Jake?” I asked him.
“She asked you first. I’m going to get something to drink. You girls want anything?”
We both told him no, and Megan continued pulling on my arm until we made it to the dance floor. There was a hip hop song playing, one that Megan and I used to dance to on our sleepovers and when she’d come stay with me when I was too sick to go to school. For a few minutes I forgot everything, except for just being with my best friend and having fun. For a few minutes…that was when I saw him. I looked back at Megan and she was grinning from ear to ear. Damn them! I’d been set up. Brock strode in the door like he owned the place. I would have sworn every female head turned to look at him as he did. He walked up to where Jake sat and they did their stupid boy bump thing. Jake wasn’t surprised to see him, and neither was Megan. I looked at her accusingly, but she pretended she didn’t notice. She just kept dancing.
Chapter Six
Brock
I saw her as soon as I walked in. Two hundred people, most of them women, and she still stuck out. Damn, I’ve got it bad. She was dancing with Megan, and for a minute, I just stood watching her from the doorway. I liked the way her hair moved while she danced. I liked the way she moved her body, and giggled with Megan. She looked happy, and that gave her a glow that only added to how pretty she was.
When I went over to say hello to Jake, I could tell she saw me. She gave Jake and Megan both a reproachful look. They had set her up; the poor girl didn’t know I was coming. I wondered again why she didn’t want to go out with me. I wasn’t a bad-looking guy. As a matter of fact, I’ve been told that I’m rather good-looking. I shower every day and I usually smell really good….I shouldn’t blow my own horn though, I have had one girl tell me that I was in love with myself. Okay…more than one. But I’m not in love with myself, really. I just have a good self-image. There’s nothing wrong with that, right?
“Hey man,” I asked Jake. “You didn’t tell me Molly would be here.”
“Is that a problem?” he asked. I could tell he was almost more upset that she wouldn’t go out with me than I was.
“No,” I said, “I like Molly.”
“She likes you too,” he said.
“I know,” I told him with a grin. “Why wouldn’t she?”
Jake laughed; he knew I was full of shit…kind of. “I’m going to cut in on your girl and dance with her.”
“You’re going to dance with Megan?” he said. Molly was right; his head was stuffed with fluff.
“No, dork, with Molly,” I told him, shaking my head. He was a great guy, but he’d never win a sharp-crayon contest.
I could see the panic in Molly’s eyes as I approached. It was amusing and hurtful at the same time.
“Hey ladies,” I said when I was close enough for them to hear me over the screeching loud music.
“Hi Brock!” Megan said, “Hey look Molly. It’s Brock.” Megan and Jake were really, really bad at this.
Molly grinned; she thought they were as bad at this as I did. “Hi Brock,” she said, and then to Megan, with an admirable amount of sarcasm she said, “Hey Megan, I see him.”
I tried to bump Megan aside, but she just moved over to allow me in, so now we were all three dancing together. Girls were so weird. You’d never see two guys dancing at a club…I mean at a straight club. Guys wouldn’t even be comfortable dancing two guys and one girl. Maybe it was the guys that were weird and not the girls.
The music ended, and as we were walking away from the dance floor and towards the table that Jake had gotten for us I suddenly blurted out, “So, we’ve shared a dance, now will you go out with me?”
Before Molly could open her mouth, Megan said, “She’d love to.”
Molly looked at her, and Megan grinned. I couldn’t see Molly’s face, and I couldn’t tell from behind if she was grimacing or not. When we got to the table, still trying to prove I was a gentleman I said, “Molly, do you want something to drink?”
“Sure, I’ll have water, if you don’t mind.”
Water? A girl after my own heart. The last few girls I’d gone out with could drink me under the table. That was…if I drank. I got our waters, and noticed her looking at me when I turned back around. Was she checking out my butt? The commercial about these jeans wasn’t lying.
“Here you go,” I told her.
“Thanks Brock,” she said with a smile. She was so damned cute.
I sat down and suddenly, Jake and Megan had the urge to dance. Once they were gone she shook her head and said, “They’re ridiculous.”
I smiled, “Yes, they are,” I agreed. “You don’t have to keep the date Megan volunteered you for,” I told her. “I understand.”
“What are we going to do?” she asked.
“When?” I said, proving that Jake wasn’t the only one with a head full of fluff.
She laughed and said, “On our date. What were you thinking we would do?”
“Oh um, see a movie, maybe?”
“Okay,” she said. Just like that, we had a date.
“Tomorrow night?” I asked.
“Okay,” she said again.
“Pick you up on Suzie at eight?” She opened her mouth, I think she was going to say okay again, but then processed what I said.
“No,” she said, “I don’t do motorcycles.”
I smiled at her. “It would be a lot of fun,” I said.
“Yeah, I’m sure it would be,” she said, again with the sarcasm. “Too much fun for me.”
“How will we get to the movies?” I said.
“The bus goes there.”
I waited for the grin, to tell me she was kidding, but she was dead serious.
“Okay then.”
What else could I say?
/> I asked her to dance three times before I finally got a yes. I was beginning to wonder if she just liked messing with me. As we were dancing I said, “This music is crap. No wonder they’re looking for a band.”
She smiled and said, “From what I heard at your concert the other day, you’re much better than this.”
I think she meant it, so I said, “Thanks.” Something about this girl made me lose my vocabulary.
When we got back to the table, Jake and Megan left again. Molly leaned over and looked at my right arm and said, “You have a cancer symbol on your arm.”
I have tattoo sleeves. In the middle of a lotus flower, next to a lily pad with a lime green frog on it, I had the artist slip in a yellow ribbon. Most people never even notice it.
“Yeah,” I said. “I thought it was cool. You know, to show my support.”
“Yeah,” she said. “That is cool. Did they hurt?”
“You don’t have any?” I asked her.
“Not a one. I’m not a fan of needles.”
I laughed. “Who is?” I asked her. “It’s not the same as getting a shot, or getting blood drawn,” I told her. “It’s more of a scratching sensation.”
“Oh,” she said. Then she added, “I’m not really a fan of scratching either.”
I laughed; she looked like she was serious. All in all, it was a great night, and I was so glad that I went.
The next day, I woke up with a knot of excitement in my belly. I couldn’t wait to see her. As I mixed my juice and took my meds that morning, it suddenly dawned on me that today was day four. Not a great day to be going out on a first date. I thought about the movies and popcorn. Not that I planned on eating any, but the butter smell was going to be enough to put me over the top while we’re sitting there in that dark theater looking up at a huge screen. I almost had to run to the bathroom and throw up just thinking about it. Damn it! What was I going to do? I wasn’t going to cancel our date.
Dirty Maverick (The Maxwell Family) Page 55