by Hess, A. M.
Wanting
Control
A.M. Hess
Book #1 - Secret Chronicle Series
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real people, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Copyright 2013 A.M. Hess
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the author.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty One
Chapter Twenty Two
Chapter Twenty Three
Chapter Twenty Four
Chapter Twenty Five
Chapter One
The air was thick with tension and Mary-Beth Johnson’s eyes narrowed as she watched her husband move around the room, collecting various things that weren’t already in his luggage. He put on his jacket, patted the pockets to make sure he had his keys and looked around for his laptop case. She didn’t help him look for it, even though she could see it from where she was sitting. Not once had he looked at her, or made any move to say good-bye. He was leaving her to go on another of his many business trips; sometimes they lasted a week other times they could last a month or two. He had told her where he was going this time, Seattle, San Diego, Sarasota; they all sounded the same to her now.
There was a knock at the door. She looked but made no move to get up from the couch to answer it. That was the only time he looked at her and with a slight irritation in his eyes he answered it. A man in a chauffeur uniform stood on the porch. “The luggage is in the trunk, Mr. Johnson. We can leave for the airport when you’re ready.”
Nodding he responded, “Good, I just need to grab a few more things.” Closing the door he walked over to where she was on the couch. For a moment, she held her breath; there was hope in her eyes that he was coming to tell her good-bye. Her eyes followed him as he stopped at the end of the couch and bent to pick up his laptop case. He didn’t look at her or acknowledge that she was there waiting for him to say good-bye. Then he left. Just before the door clicked shut, she heard a muffled, “bye.”
Mary-Beth walked to the front window and watched as the car pulled out of the driveway and disappeared down the street. She bit her lip hard to stop herself from screaming out in anger and ran a finger along the white window sill. With sad eyes she looked at it, inspecting it for dust, there was none. She frowned. The house was immaculate with nothing to clean. Cleaning always kept her away from her rapidly racing thoughts. Now she didn’t even have that.
There was a time when he would risk missing his flight because he didn’t want to stop kissing me good bye. Now, I barely get a ‘Good-bye’ from him. When did we start to drift apart from each other? Is it me? What did I do to make him stop looking at me like I was the only woman he could ever love?
He still looks the same as the day I married him brown hair, hazel eyes and a nice body. But now he’s different. Something’s changed about him. Where was I when that change happened? I just don’t understand. Maybe I’m the one that has changed.
She walked back to her bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Her red hair was done up in a tight high-ponytail and her green eyes only had a touch of eye-shadow and mascara, she only needed a little powder foundation on her skin and she made sure to keep herself fit by going to the gym and eating healthy. For being thirty she didn’t look bad, in fact, she looked younger than most her girl friends. That was something she had pride in, though she would never admit it to her girls. They would kill her for saying something like that out loud.
I think I still look sexy, so why doesn’t he seem to want me anymore? What happened to the times when I would wake up in the morning to him kissing my shoulder and soft touches that would leave me wanting more? It was like he was discovering my body for the first time. He would take his time exploring every inch of me. His tongue would work me to ecstasy over and over and it would be noon before we even ventured out of the bed for a shower or food. Now, I’m lucky if I get a ‘thank you’ when I get him coffee in the morning. I miss the days when we were in college together. I just want to feel loved again, is that asking too much of him?
She reached up and touched her cheek, “It has to be me,” she muttered. “I’m doing something wrong and that’s why I no longer see lust in his eyes when he looks at me.” Tears started to collect at the corners of her eyes with the realization.
She walked aimlessly through the house looking at all the decorations and expensive furniture. They had everything anyone could want and because she didn’t work outside the home, Mary-Beth had the privilege of decorating the entire place. She was proud of her home and it gave her some solace in Dalton’s absence.
On a side table there was a wedding photo in a polished antique silver frame. It was one of her favorites. The picture showed her and her husband just after they had cut the cake; he had tried to stuff a handful into her mouth and managed to get a clump on her nose. At the same time she had an entire slice in her hand and was in the process of doing the same to him. He had turned his face in time for her to hit his cheek with it. Both of them had smiles on their faces, playful like that all the time. Nothing had ever been taken to heart back then. She picked up the picture and touched her husband’s face, more tears coursed down her cheeks. The picture went face down back on the table.
I could leave him, maybe that would make him happy. He could find someone else and we could both move on.
She touched various expensive items that she had collected over the years, all still in the pristine condition.
Would it be worth giving up this life? I have money, no debt and I’m able to live as I please for the most part. I have everything I want and need with one exception… Dalton. I would miss Dalton. I don’t know if I could live without him, he’s the only man I’ve ever wanted this way.
The sudden shrill of her cell phone brought her out of her thoughts and running to the kitchen. Her socks slid on the kitchen floor as she reached the phone. She had a brief hope that it would be Dalton, calling to say he loved her and that he would see her soon. Maybe he had felt the same chill when he left and didn’t want to leave it hanging in the air. “Hello?”
“MJ, it’s Trish.” Her hope faded, as did the brief smile on her face. She crossed an arm over her chest. “I just wanted to make sure you were still on for the bake sale on Thursday. Your cupcakes are always a hit this time of year!” Trish laughed.
Mary-Beth let go one of her fake laughs in the hopes that it covered her real feelings. She turned to look at the island in her kitchen. Arranged on it were almost all of the supplies she would need for the neon rainbow cupcakes. “Of course, Trish, have I ever let you down?”
“And that is why you are a co-president of Bakes for Charity! Well, I was just touching base. The kids are getting out of school now. I’ll see you Thursday!” With a click she was gone and Mary-Beth or MJ, as she was known in town, was left staring at the baking goods in her kitchen.
She looked at the clock. It was the normal time the elementary school got out, not that she had to be there. Dalton had never wanted children and even though she liked them, she couldn’t see herself being a mother.
Charity work was what kept her busy while Dalton was away. She could have a job, if she wanted one. With a Masters in interior design she could get work, but life got in the way and it was her husband’s wish to take care of her. Even so she was happier organizing functions and ‘giving back to the people,’ as Trish put it. Charity work was nice, but MJ was starting to grow bored with her monotonous life. Something was missing and she wanted to figure it out. The love had diminished, the sex was infrequent but there was more and she knew it.
Chapter Two
Her tired green eyes watched as the red digital numbers of her clock switched over to six-thirty and her radio alarm turned on. It slowly increased in volume until it was loud enough it would have woken her up… had she not already been awake. The DJ on the morning talk show was discussing a book that had recently come out and had housewives all hot and bothered.
“Rick, you’ll never believe what they are calling it.”
“I can only imagine. Tell me.”
“Mommy Porn. Can you believe that? My wife couldn’t put it down and when she finally did…well, let’s just say I have been one happy camper. If I had known all it would take to get her like that in bed was hand her a book, I would have done it years ago.”
She listened to the morning DJ’s describing scenes from the book. Thoughts of desire and wanting filled her. MJ let her mind wondered back to what she thought of as the ‘good times’ with her husband. She imagined him kissing down her neck to the side of her breast and teasing her with his mouth like he used to do. Her nipples grew hard as her imagination continued. In her mind she could feel him gently licking one and then the other nipple. Pulling them into his warm mouth and swirling his tongue in a circle. She ached for him and yet could not stop her mental imagery from carrying on.
Arching her back and breathing deeply she could see him in her mind’s eye, kissing his way from her breasts down her stomach and parting her legs. She gladly parted her thighs and allowed him to settle between them. He would get lost in the act of cunnilingus, licking her outer lips and sucking greedily on her clit. She continued imaging the scene and yearned for the touch of his lips and tongue on her pussy.
MJ could feel wetness leaking from her center. She squirmed on the bed pulling at the sheets and pillows. Her need grew as the images played out. She thought of Dalton using his fingers to open her while licking and sucking as only he knew how. The mental fantasy led to him thrusting his tongue into her time and again, bringing her closer to going over the brink of ecstasy…
“WOW! Now that’s what I’m talking about!” The yelling of the morning radio host and the laughter of his guests startled her back to the here and now. Thoughts of Dalton and sex play vanished and she was there in the real world left with nothing more than wetness and aching need.
Stop it! There’s no reason to torture yourself…
MJ sighed loudly and reached over to turn off the radio. Sitting up in bed she ran a hand through her long red hair and took a deep breath, she exhaled slowly and looked around the room. In one fluid arch, she threw off her covers and got out of the bed. Her feet dragged on the floor as she walked to the master bathroom; the palms of her hands rubbed her eyes as she tried, in vain, to make the sting of little sleep leave them.
Starring at her reflection she saw small dark bags under her eyes. This was her punishment for worrying about things that weren’t fully in her control. She knew that she would need more than just a little concealer to hide her obvious stress.
Thank goodness the only thing on my agenda is grocery shopping and baking for the charity drive…
After a quick shower, some light makeup and a cup of coffee, MJ was on her way to the grocery for the last of her baking needs. The list was short and she knew the recipe from memory. She had been making these particular cup cakes for years. It would not take all afternoon to bake them so she decided to visit her favorite used book store before returning home. A few good books always helped with the time alone. She had exhausted her last purchases and today would be a good time to replenish.
The grocery had a reasonable number of customers and shopping was very quick and easy. She knew where most items were and went straight to them. One bag of flour, confectioner sugar, baking cups and a replenishing of food color ended the trip. It took only two isles for all the items to be collected.
She wheeled her shopping cart to the front of the store and stood in line at one of the two available cashiers. After removing her debit card from her purse she watched as the other customers checked out and carried their purchases to waiting cars. A young man was bagging groceries in one line and in her line was a new manager trainee, according to his name tag.
‘Bryson’ was boldly printed on the new employee badge. MJ had not seen him here before and was certain she would have remembered. He was tall with dark hair and grey eyes and moved with the grace of someone very physically fit. As he bagged the groceries he would chat with the customers. She watched as he politely offered to help an older woman out to her car. The lady declined and he focused his attention on the next person in line.
The button down shirt and tie did little to hide his muscled torso. MJ enjoyed watching him bend and stretch to get the items flowing down the conveyor. As he looked up she caught his eye and he smiled. It shocked her to find him attractive and sexually enticing. She smiled back and let her mind wonder.
In an instant her imagination created a scene with her and this new ‘Bryson’. They were in his office with the doors closed, he had her facing him and pinned against the desk. They were passionately kissing as she ran her hands through his hair. He lifted her onto the edge of the desk and she opened her legs to allow him to get closer. His hands moved to her breasts while they continued to kiss. She could feel his hardness through his pants and responded by pulling him tighter to her. She was breathless, ready and wanting…
“Ma’am…” MJ was jolted out of her thoughts. “Ma’am your next.” said the young cashier.
“Oh, I’m sorry. My mind was in a different place.” She tried to cover her lack of attention. Her heart was still pounding and her panties had the familiar feeling of wetness. She could not believe what had happened.
Oh my God! What just happened there? A day dream about the new manager? That’s never happened to me before. I have always been faithful, is the lack of attention getting to me?
“I that credit or debit?” asked the cashier.
“Debit, please”
Her groceries were bagged and in the hands of Bryson who was waiting at the end of the checkout. She used her debit card in the scanner and punched in the four digit code. MJ was doing her best not to look at the handsome man holding her purchases. When she was handed the receipt there was no longer any choice. She turned to take the two bags from Bryson and he asked, “Do you need any help with these?” His smile was dazzling and she hesitated for just a beat.
The things I could do to you…
“No, I’ll be fine. Thank you” she said taking the bags and brushing past him. Her pulse was racing and a slight sweat had broken on her brow. MJ rushed to her car and tossed the items in the back seat. This was not like her at all but she wasn’t so sure that she didn’t like it.
It took her several minutes before starting the car and driving out of the parking lot. No man had ever turned her eye from Dalton. No man had ever caused her to fantasize. This was different. She squirmed in her seat as the wetness spread.
Chapter Three
By the time she reached ‘Books and Beyond’ her heart rate and blood pressure had both returned to something close to normal. The bells jingled as she opened the door. The store had become her favorite for books and advice. A young woman named Ella ran the small shop and was as good with sound counsel as she was with bestsellers
.
MJ scanned the store and finding no one there walked up to the counter. The attractive young manager looked up from her book and smiled. It was difficult to be in a bad mood around Ella. At 5’ 3”, small, slender with blond pixie cut hair, and bright blue eyes she was an overwhelming joy. The two had been fairly close for some time and she immediately rounded the counter to give MJ a hug. “Oh, it’s so good to see you. How have you been?” she said returning to her post.
“Fair, I guess. I’m out of reading materials and Dalton is gone on another of his business trips. I can’t even remember where he said or for how long. I just finished picking up a few things at the grocery and wanted to stop by on my way home to say hello and see what you might recommend to fill my time.” She smiled trying to give the best impression of her home life.
Working at the bookstore gave Ella an insight into the lives of many of her customers. She considered herself to be as good a listener as a hairdresser or bartender. When things were not quite right she could sense it. “Sure I’ve got plenty of new things. The past several weeks have been really good here. If you don’t mind me asking, how’re things going with Dalton being gone all the time. I can’t remember the last time he was home for a week.”
The question sounded friendly enough but MJ knew she couldn’t hide from Ella. “To tell you the truth it has not been good at all. We hardly ever see each other and when we do he’s home for a weekend and is either on his phone or computer doing work. There is some big merger he is working on and if the two airlines can agree on a deal, he thinks it could be good for him.”
Ella frowned, “So how are you holding up? Lonely I guess?”
“Yes, but what’s worse is that we’ve grown apart. I’d like to think it’s a dry spell or just the stress of work, but we haven’t had sex in more than a month. He didn’t kiss me good-by when he left yesterday. I shouldn’t be worried but I am.” MJ was no longer trying to hide her frustration.