“Oh, a window!!!” He exclaims, and runs over to it. It is dark outside, so Tyler peers out of it, and I do too. Cody is standing with Shane in the backyard outside of my window. I'm not sure at what point they went outside. Tyler comments, “There's that fag Cody. He looks like such a nerd.”
I honestly don't think this is funny, but I find myself giggling anyway. We turn to go back down the hall, and Tyler grabs my ass. I pretend I don't notice, which encourages Tyler, and he starts grabbing my hips and waist as well.
As we emerge back into the main area of my house, Kira sees what is going on, grabs Tyler, and drags him off. I wander around my kitchen, nibbling on the different treats Cody and Shane brought. I am still only half-way through my first drink. I start wondering where Kira and Tyler have gone, so I start doggedly looking for them.
When I finally spot Kira and Tyler, they are sitting together on the couch, which is on the back patio where Kira and I moved it to earlier today. I manage to open the sliding screen door and sit down on the other side of Tyler from Kira. Tyler gingerly puts his arms around the two of us.
Kira exclaims, “Tyler! You have boobs!” which is true, because Tyler is quite large. Kira reaches over and grabs the “boob” closest to her, and thinking that is funny, I do the same. Suddenly, Kira stands up, “I want more to drink,” and leaves Tyler and me alone. I finish off my first, and only, drink.
“Tyler! Look! I finished!” I say, almost bragging. He had wanted me to drink so badly, I am certain he will be thrilled that I just finished my first drink.
“Mackenzie, you are so awesome,” Tyler mumbles.
“You like me, don't you Tyler?” I ask, jokingly. This question has been on my mind for a few days, and now I feel free to say whatever I want. It's like there're no strings attached.
“Yes,” Tyler replies. I suddenly realize how close he is to me. He bends over, practically on top of me, and starts to kiss me. Oh no, this is not what I wanted. I feel Tyler's tongue slip into my mouth, lolling around. My stomach churns as I smell the rank alcohol on his breath, and I receive my first French kiss. Despite the circumstances, I am completely fascinated. I stop resisting because I am so curious about what it is like to French kiss; I have always been curious to find out.
However, Kira finally returns, drink in hand, and yells, “TYLER! Stop it!!!” She yanks Tyler off of me, which is quite an accomplishment, and drags him into the house.
Kira's intensity is like a slap back to reality. Fuck! I didn't want that to happen! I need to get away from this spot; it suddenly feels tainted with shame. I stumble into the house, but Tyler is there. I don't want Tyler to see me, so I stumble into the front yard. Once I get there, I'm not sure what to do. I stand in the driveway and stare at my surroundings. Everything just looks so surreal, like there's fluidity to it. The street lamp outside my house looks like it's pulsating. I marvel at this effect.
After just a minute of being out there, I am found. Tyler wanders up to me and tries to put his arm around me.
“Stop touching me, Tyler! Stop touching me!” I squeal, pushing him away.
“Mackenzie,” he moans pitifully, “I need to talk to you! I need to talk to you!”
I think this is fair enough, and we travel back into the living room. I sit down in a small chair only meant for one person, in an attempt to keep him from being able to touch me. Tyler glances around, and sits right on top of me. Despite how tight we are in the chair, I manage to move my knee in between Tyler and me, so that he can't reach my face.
“Why didn't you kiss me, Mackenzie?” Tyler asks, like he's pleading.
I was hoping he was going to try to apologize or something, but I still answer, “I did kiss you.”
“Barely,” Tyler says, and leans in for another kiss. But Tyler can't reach because my knee is in the way. Before I realize what he is up to, Tyler ends up kissing my chin instead.
I laugh at Tyler, “You missed!”
“I know,” he tries to kiss me again. I am ready this time, and purposely drive my knee into Tyler's chest so that he can't get near me. “Why can't I fucking reach?!?” Tyler whines stupidly.
Kira, closely followed by Shane and Cody, approach where we are sitting, crammed into that chair, “Oh my God you guys!” Once again she pulls Tyler off of me, and shoves him aside. She grabs me and throws me at Cody, “Take her into her room!” Kira commands him. It's like Kira has suddenly turned into a mother bear that is defending her cub. Somehow, I am mildly aware of how relieved I am that she's getting Tyler off of me.
Cody and Shane respond quickly to Kira's commands. They certainly don't want to get in the way of Mother Bear. The boys herd me down the hallway as quickly as they can, and soon I'm climbing into my bed. Finally I feel safe. I don't have to worry about moving around or about Tyler creeping up on me again. Unfortunately this moment of relief doesn't last long. I guess Tyler is too big for Kira to handle on her own; he's ambling down the hallway whining, “Where the fuck did you go, Mackenzie! Where are you?” He starts banging on my door, “Let me in, Mackenzie! Let me in!” Tyler throws all of his weight into my door, making the whole room rattle. Shane, Cody, and I all jump at the same time.
“Oh crap,” Cody says to Shane. “I need to support this door.”
Cody starts leaning on my door with all of his might. “Why won't you let me in, Mackenzie? I bet you are in there with that fag, Cody!” Tyler bangs on the door harder, if that is possible.
“You need to call someone who can get rid of Tyler. Who isn't the cops,” Cody tells me.
I look at him, and Tyler bangs into my door again, screeching, “Kira, I mean, Mackenzie! I want to see you!”
I know that Cody is right, that Tyler won't give it up. I need someone who is aggressive enough to scare away a drunken man before the cops come and screw my life over. Aggressive. I know who is aggressive. Ramon. I roll over and pick up the cordless landline phone in my room, and despite my stupor, I effectively dial Ramon's number.
“Ramon, you need to get over here right now and get rid of Tyler. Come make Tyler go away!” I screech into the phone over Tyler's constant uproar.
“I'll be there in five,” Ramon says, hanging up. I put down the phone, feeling relieved. We don't have anything to worry about anymore. I look at Cody and Shane, so grateful for everything they're doing for me. Without them, I have no idea how I would escape from Tyler. Then a huge bang reverberates from my bedroom door, shaking the room again.
“Help me brace it, Shane, or else the whole door is going to crack,” Cody says. The two boys start leaning against the door, and it seems like only their two feeble bodies are keeping Tyler from crashing in. As Tyler continues to fail to enter my room, he gets angrier and more aggressive with crashing into the door and yelling. Ramon needs to get here soon.
Right as I think this, I hear Ramon's voice, “Get the fuck out of here.” It sounds threatening and assertive… just what I was hoping for. Everybody knows not to mess with Ramon, especially when he is talking like that. I feel my body start to relax as I know that Ramon will be able to take care of the situation.
Tyler screeches pathetically, “Mackenzie, why the fuck did you call Ramon! You know I hate him!”
“Fuck you Tyler. Get the fuck out.” Ramon's and Tyler's voices are getting farther away.
Now all I can hear is Ramon's deep, angry voice and frantic screams from Tyler. Finally someone will be able to get rid of my tormentor! Cody peeks out of the door, and just as he does, he sees that Tyler is hurtling down the hall toward my room again, his feet pounding loudly on the wood floor. Quickly, Cody starts to close the door, and Ramon yells, “Leave it open!” Ramon steps in my doorway next to Cody, the both of them separating Tyler from me.
Shane and Ramon open their arms, making a barrier. “Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out, Tyler.” Despite the fact that there's no door there anymore, I still feel safer, knowing that Ramon is here for me. My heart floods open as waves of love and gratitude wash over me.
He is protecting me. Nothing can harm me when Ramon is here; he's like Superman. Having this superhero looking out for my well-being moves me so much, I start crying.
Tyler says, “Mackenzie! I don't understand! Why won't you talk to me?” With Ramon here, I don't have the burden of having to answer to Tyler anymore. I don't have to feel guilty about not talking to him.
“Fuck you Tyler. Get the fuck out!” Ramon asserts again.
Tyler finally gives up, turns around, and runs out my front door. Ramon follows him outside, and I can hear people mumbling, “They are going to fight!”
But Kurt has already pulled up in my driveway. I suppose at some point Kira called Kurt and told him to collect Tyler. Tyler trips over his own feet trying to get away from Ramon, and crawls into Kurt's car. “Get him the fuck out of here!” Ramon says, slamming the car door behind Tyler. I hear the car drive away, and all is silent. Tyler is gone. Cody and Shane leave my room to see what condition the rest of my house is in, and Ramon slips in.
Finally I can be alone with Ramon. He pulls up my desk chair next to my bed. I notice how the moonlight is falling on his face, outlining his nose and his forehead. My heart skips a beat. Ramon looks so good. Plus, it's nice seeing someone who is sober. I have had my fill of drunks for the night.
“He's gone. Fuck Tyler,” Ramon says, but in a much softer tone than before. He has calmed down. I notice he has that knife, the one we found in the park from what feels like an eternity ago. Ramon has just one of the blades open. Seeing where my eyes have landed, Ramon deftly closes the blade and pockets the knife.
“Thank you,” I say. I'm worried that since I have created such a mess, Ramon won't like me anymore. I have made myself look like such an idiot; I don't see why anyone would like me anymore. “Do you hate me?”
“No, why would I hate you?”
I don't have an answer for him; I think Ramon will think my fear is stupid. But I am so relieved, I can feel a tear trickling down my face. I have been teary a lot this evening. Ramon reaches over and wipes the tear off of my cheek. This just makes me cry even more, and I hide under the covers. I'm wondering how anybody can be so sweet, but still not like me more than a friend. I wish I could tell him how much I love him, right here, right now, but I can't. Not being able to tell him hurts me sooo much.
I don't want to ignore my savior, so I poke my head back out of my covers. Ramon is leaning toward me with a softened expression on his face. I feel like this is my special moment with my dashing knight in shining armor.
All of a sudden, Kira wanders into the room, interrupting our moment. “Oh, hey guys.” She sits down on the floor and starts babbling, “Mackenzie, I hit Tyler. He was really pissing me off, and I just slapped him. He stumbled. It was really funny. I slapped him again.” She laughs, “It felt so good….”
By now Ramon and I are tuning out Kira. She doesn't even seem to notice that we are not paying attention to her anymore. And so, Ramon turns and asks me in undertones, “What is she doing here?”
I realize that he still thinks our staged fight was real. “We pretended we got into a fight so that you would tell me what you knew. But, I haven't told her what you said! I decided not to,” I explain, perhaps a little more boldly than I intended to. I watch Ramon's face for his reaction, but he just nods, and then asks me, “How much has she drunk?”
“I'm not sure. Two, no three Smirnoff's, and some beer. I don't know. At first she was trying to hide from me that she was drinking,” I reply.
With Kira still blabbing in the background, Ramon nods at me, and says that he is going to go see how the rest of my house is. As he leaves, I protest a little bit, but I figure he is going to come back, so it's cool.
Cody comes into my room, looks at Kira talking to herself on the floor, and then looks at me with a forced smile.
“Do you hate me, Cody?” I ask him.
“No, I don't hate you. I think that you had a learning experience, and you won't do it again,” he says robotically.
“I'm sorry,” I say, feeling a horrible guilt stirring inside me. More tears start sliding down my cheeks.
“Look, Mackenzie, I am going to come over tomorrow with Shane, and we are going to help you wash the floors,” he says.
At the mention of “tomorrow,” suddenly a beam of light penetrates my fuzzy mind. I've just remembered that it's going to be Cody's birthday. “NO! I don't want you to come tomorrow because it's your birthday! Shane can come, but I don't want you to,” I say very strongly. I don't want to ruin Cody's birthday any more than I already have.
“You know what, that was really rude,” he says, looking at me like I'm a total bitch, stirring the pot of guilt in my stomach.
I don't want him to be mad at me, so I say, “You can come, but only if you want to, I don't want to ruin your birthday.” I don't understand how I offended Cody by telling him not to help me on his birthday, since this is my mess to get out of. I don't want to drag him down because of my stupidity.
“I want to come. Seriously. I like helping friends; it's what I do.”
I believe Cody. I do need his help anyway.
Chapter Eighteen
It takes me a second to remember everything that happened last night when I wake up in the morning. Then it all comes rushing back like a wave trying to pull me down into the ocean. Now that we've all had a chance to sober up, is Kira going to be furious because I called Ramon over to help get rid of Tyler? When is Cody coming over, and is Shane going to join him? I wonder what last night meant for Ramon; has anything changed between us? How is Tyler… actually I don't want to think about Tyler. All that does is instill a sick fear into the pit of my stomach.
I look at my cell phone to see if I have any of my answers there. I see that I have five missed calls and five voice messages. I start listening to these and realize they are all drunken messages from Tyler. Instead of being angry, these messages sound whiny and pitiful. “Kira! No, I mean, Mackenzie! Why aren't you answering your phone? I am sorry! I don't even know what I am sorry for! Please, Mackenzie, just tell me, why did you call Ramon? I don't understand, I thought we were friends.” All five of the messages go on like this. I start to not listen to them and just delete them, hoping he won't call anymore. I'm thinking I have a pretty good chance of this since the last message he left me was at 3:21 am.
However, this wish doesn't last long because right after I think this, my cell rings. The caller ID shows me it is Tyler. I don't answer it, and after my phone rings, it beeps, telling me I have another voice message. This one sounds stronger than the other messages and not so frail and drunk as the previous ones.
“Mackenzie I really need to talk to you. Please call me back.”
Not in a million years. I erase the message.
I get out of bed and evaluate how I feel. Pretty good. I don't have any headache or nausea. But something just feels off. I'm not sure how to describe it; it's like I'm watching myself rather than being a part of myself. I stand up, and I don't feel my head spinning or anything. My legs feel like I can depend on them. I start to walk into my kitchen, and everything seems to be working. Even so, I go straight for the faucet and pour myself a glass of water. I've heard it's really important to drink lots of water after consuming alcohol so as to avoid getting dehydrated.
Pretty soon Cody and Shane show up to help me clean. Cody starts helping me wipe down the kitchen floor, and once I get into a good flow, he heads over to the living room. I give him a questioning look. “Kira and Tyler spilled some Smirnoff Ice,” he says, answering my question. “My mom has shown me an excellent way to get stains out of carpets. Your mom won't have any idea what happened when she gets back.”
“Thank you,” I tell him, hardly comprehending the gift he is giving me. My mind still feels a bit numb.
“No problem!” He starts working on the living room carpet while I keep at the kitchen. Shane goes around picking up bottles and trash that have been strewn around the house. The whole job takes about an hour.
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After we have finished cleaning, I hear my cell phone ringing again. Once more, Tyler is trying to call me. Shane sees me checking my phone, “Who is it?”
“Tyler. He keeps calling me because he wants to talk,” I explain.
“Why don't you pick it up?” Cody asks as the phone continues ringing.
“Because I don't want to.” The phone has stopped ringing. “I don't want to talk to Tyler ever again.” Just thinking of Tyler makes my insides feel all twisted up and makes my pulse quicken.
“Okay, let me pick it up next time it rings,” Cody says.
“Sure.”
Almost as soon as we are done saying this, my cell rings again.
“Hello,” Cody answers. “You can't talk to Mackenzie…She isn't here right now…She left her cell phone behind…I don't know when she'll be back…ok, bye.” Cody and I look at each other and laugh; we are being so mischievous!
Cody answering my phone both protects me from having to talk to Tyler, and is amusing. “Cody why don't you just answer the phone every time he calls. It's funny.”
“Ok, let's act like it's prank calls in reverse! That will be great!”
I giggle and totally agree, “Shane can answer too.”
The next time the phone rings, I check to see if it is indeed Tyler, and see that it's actually Ramon calling.
“Mackenzie, can I come over?”
“Right now? Sure, Cody and Shane are here, but you can come, too.” Ramon is coming over! This couldn't get any better for me. I don't have to deal with Tyler anymore; I am now surrounded by supportive friends, and my crush is coming over on his own accord.
My cell phone rings again. This time it is Tyler, so Cody answers.
The Convenience of Lies Page 16