but, ass, I'll take that weight from your back,
or whip you till your shoulders crack.
AUSTRIA.
What cracker is this same that deafs our ears
With this abundance of superfluous breath?
King Philip, determine what we shall do straight.
Who is this braggart who is deafening us
with all these wasted words?
King Philip, decide what we shall do at once.
KING PHILIP.
Women and fools, break off your conference.
King John, this is the very sum of all:
England and Ireland, Anjou, Touraine, Maine,
In right of Arthur, do I claim of thee;
Wilt thou resign them and lay down thy arms?
Women and fools, stop your chatter.
King John, this is the heart of the matter:
I claim England and Ireland, Anjou, Touraine
and Maine from you as Arthur's rightful property;
will you give them up and put down your weapons?
KING JOHN.
My life as soon. I do defy thee, France.
Arthur of Britaine, yield thee to my hand,
And out of my dear love I'll give thee more
Than e'er the coward hand of France can win.
Submit thee, boy.
I would as soon give up my life. I defy you, France.
Arthur of Brittany, surrender to me,
and in my dear love I will give you more
then the cowardly hand of France could ever win for you.
Surrender, boy.
ELINOR.
Come to thy grandam, child.
Come to your grandmother, child.
CONSTANCE.
Do, child, go to it grandam, child;
Give grandam kingdom, and it grandam will
Give it a plum, a cherry, and a fig.
There's a good grandam!
Go on, child, go to your grandmother, child;
give grandmother a kingdom, and your grandmother will
give you a plum, a cherry, and a fig.
What a good grandmother!
ARTHUR.
Good my mother, peace!
I would that I were low laid in my grave:
I am not worth this coil that's made for me.
My good mother, quiet!
I wish I was dead in my grave:
I'm not worth the fuss that's being made for me.
ELINOR.
His mother shames him so, poor boy, he weeps.
He's so ashamed of his mother, poor boy, that he's crying.
CONSTANCE.
Now shame upon you, whe'er she does or no!
His grandam's wrongs, and not his mother's shames,
Draws those heaven-moving pearls from his poor eyes,
Which heaven shall take in nature of a fee;
Ay, with these crystal beads heaven shall be brib'd
To do him justice and revenge on you.
The shame is new, whether she does or not!
His grandmother's sins, not the shame of his mother,
is what draws those heavenly tears from his poor eyes,
which heaven shall take as payment;
yes, with those crystal beads heaven will be bribed
to give him justice and take revenge on you.
ELINOR.
Thou monstrous slanderer of heaven and earth!
You monstrous slanderer of heaven and earth!
CONSTANCE.
Thou monstrous injurer of heaven and earth,
Call not me slanderer! Thou and thine usurp
The dominations, royalties, and rights,
Of this oppressed boy; this is thy eldest son's son,
Infortunate in nothing but in thee.
Thy sins are visited in this poor child;
The canon of the law is laid on him,
Being but the second generation
Removed from thy sin-conceiving womb.
You monstrous offender of heaven and earth,
do not call me a slanderer! You and yours overthrow
the territories, royalty and rights
of this oppressed boy; this is the son of your eldest son,
and being related to you is his only imperfection.
Your sin is visited on this poor child;
the law of the church demands it,
as he is only two generations
away from your sinful womb.
KING JOHN.
Bedlam, have done.
Madwoman, that's enough.
CONSTANCE.
I have but this to say-
That he is not only plagued for her sin,
But God hath made her sin and her the plague
On this removed issue, plagued for her
And with her plague; her sin his injury,
Her injury the beadle to her sin;
All punish'd in the person of this child,
And all for her-a plague upon her!
I've only got this to say–
that not only is he being punished for her sin,
but God has made her sin and her the curse
on this descendant, cursed by her
with her own curse; her sin harms him,
driving on his punishment;
it all falls upon this child,
and all because of her–a curse on her!
ELINOR.
Thou unadvised scold, I can produce
A will that bars the title of thy son.
You ignorant quarreler, I can show you
a will that denies the claim of your son.
CONSTANCE.
Ay, who doubts that? A will, a wicked will;
A woman's will; a cank'red grandam's will!
Yes, who can doubt that? A will, a wicked will;
the will of a woman; the will of a diseased grandmother!
KING PHILIP.
Peace, lady! pause, or be more temperate.
It ill beseems this presence to cry aim
To these ill-tuned repetitions.
Some trumpet summon hither to the walls
These men of Angiers; let us hear them speak
Whose title they admit, Arthur's or John's.
Quiet, lady! Quiet, or speak more calmly.
It's not appropriate for you to repeat
these ugly slanders in our presence.
Let a trumpet call the men of Angiers
to the walls; let's hear them say
who they think has the true claim, Arthur or John.
Trumpet sounds. Enter citizens upon the walls
CITIZEN.
Who is it that hath warn'd us to the walls?
Who has summoned us to the walls?
KING PHILIP.
'Tis France, for England.
It's France, in the matter of England.
KING JOHN.
England for itself.
You men of Angiers, and my loving subjects-
It's England, for its own business.
You men of Angiers, and my loving subjects–
KING PHILIP.
You loving men of Angiers, Arthur's subjects,
Our trumpet call'd you to this gentle parle-
You loving men of Angiers, subjects of Arthur,
our trumpet called you to this peaceful debate–
KING JOHN.
For our advantage; therefore hear us first.
These flags of France, that are advanced here
Before the eye and prospect of your town,
Have hither march'd to your endamagement;
The cannons have their bowels full of wrath,
And ready mounted are they to spit forth
Their iron indignation 'gainst your walls;
All preparation for a bloody siege
And merciless proceeding by these French
Confront your city's eyes, your winking gates;
And but for our approach those sleeping stones
That as a waist d
oth girdle you about
By the compulsion of their ordinance
By this time from their fixed beds of lime
Had been dishabited, and wide havoc made
For bloody power to rush upon your peace.
But on the sight of us your lawful king,
Who painfully with much expedient march
Have brought a countercheck before your gates,
To save unscratch'd your city's threat'ned cheeks-
Behold, the French amaz'd vouchsafe a parle;
And now, instead of bullets wrapp'd in fire,
To make a shaking fever in your walls,
They shoot but calm words folded up in smoke,
To make a faithless error in your cars;
Which trust accordingly, kind citizens,
And let us in-your King, whose labour'd spirits,
Forwearied in this action of swift speed,
Craves harbourage within your city walls.
For our advantage; so listen to us first.
These French forces, that have been brought here
and placed in front of your town
have come here to do you harm.
Their cannons are fully loaded
and they are ready to hurl their
iron anger against your walls:
you can see from your closed gates
the merciless plans of these French,
all ready for a bloody siege;
if it wasn't for our arrival
these sleeping stones which surround you
like a belt would have been smashed
to pieces by their artillery,
a great breach would have been blown
so that their bloody forces could rush in on your peace.
But at the sight of me,
who has through a hard swift march
brought a defence in front of your gates,
to protect you from the threats against your city,
look, the startled French agreed to talk;
and now,instead of fiery bullets
smashing through your walls
they are only shooting quiet deceptive words,
to deceive you and make you make mistakes:
trust them accordingly, kind citizens,
and let me in, your king, whose tired spirits
have been exhausted by our swift march here
and begs for shelter inside your city walls.
KING PHILIP.
When I have said, make answer to us both.
Lo, in this right hand, whose protection
Is most divinely vow'd upon the right
Of him it holds, stands young Plantagenet,
Son to the elder brother of this man,
And king o'er him and all that he enjoys;
For this down-trodden equity we tread
In warlike march these greens before your town,
Being no further enemy to you
Than the constraint of hospitable zeal
In the relief of this oppressed child
Religiously provokes. Be pleased then
To pay that duty which you truly owe
To him that owes it, namely, this young prince;
And then our arms, like to a muzzled bear,
Save in aspect, hath all offence seal'd up;
Our cannons' malice vainly shall be spent
Against th' invulnerable clouds of heaven;
And with a blessed and unvex'd retire,
With unhack'd swords and helmets all unbruis'd,
We will bear home that lusty blood again
Which here we came to spout against your town,
And leave your children, wives, and you, in peace.
But if you fondly pass our proffer'd offer,
'Tis not the roundure of your old-fac'd walls
Can hide you from our messengers of war,
Though all these English and their discipline
Were harbour'd in their rude circumference.
Then tell us, shall your city call us lord
In that behalf which we have challeng'd it;
Or shall we give the signal to our rage,
And stalk in blood to our possession?
When I have spoken then answer us both.
See, on my right hand, that right hand which is
solemnly devoted to protecting the rights of the one
next to him, stands the young Plantagenet,
the son of the elder brother of this man,
king over him and everything he has:
it's because of his stolen rights that we
have marched here with our army onto the fields in front of your town,
we have no other quarrel with you
apart from what we are obliged to do
by God to help this
oppressed child. So you should be happy
to do true service to the one who deserves it,
namely this young Prince:
and then our artillery will be like
a muzzled bear, apart from its looks;
the anger of our cannons will harmlessly
be blown into the invulnerable sky;
and with a blessed and unmolested retreat,
with our swords unnotched and our helmets undamaged,
we will take home our lusty blood,
which we were going to spend attacking this town,
and leave your children, your wives and you in peace.
But if you foolishly reject this offer we are making,
these round ancient stones will not
protect you against our attacks,
even if all these English with their military skills
were sheltering inside them.
So tell us, will your city acknowledge me as lord,
on behalf of the person for whom I demand it?
Or shall I let my rage run free
and take what's mine by spilling blood?
CITIZEN.
In brief: we are the King of England's subjects;
For him, and in his right, we hold this town.
Briefly: we are subjects of the King of England;
we hold this town for him, in his name.
KING JOHN.
Acknowledge then the King, and let me in.
Then acknowledge the King, and let me in.
CITIZEN.
That can we not; but he that proves the King,
To him will we prove loyal. Till that time
Have we ramm'd up our gates against the world.
We can't do that; we will only be loyal
to someone who proves himself as a king. Until that time
we are not letting anyone in.
KING JOHN.
Doth not the crown of England prove the King?
And if not that, I bring you witnesses:
Twice fifteen thousand hearts of England's breed-
Doesn't the Crown of England make me the King?
And if it doesn't, I bring you witnesses:
thirty thousand hearts bred by England–
BASTARD.
Bastards and else.
Bastards and others.
KING JOHN.
To verify our title with their lives.
To confirm our rights with their lives.
KING PHILIP.
As many and as well-born bloods as those-
There are as many here, and just as well born–
BASTARD.
Some bastards too.
And some bastards as well.
KING PHILIP.
Stand in his face to contradict his claim.
Standing against him to contradict his claim.
CITIZEN.
Till you compound whose right is worthiest,
We for the worthiest hold the right from both.
Until you show who is the most deserving,
we will not bow down to either of you.
KING JOHN.
Then God forgive the sin of all those souls
That to their
everlasting residence,
Before the dew of evening fall shall fleet
In dreadful trial of our kingdom's king!
Then may God show mercy to all those souls
who will be going to their eternal rest
before the evening dew falls,
in this dreadful battle to see who is king of our kingdom!
KING PHILIP.
Amen, Amen! Mount, chevaliers; to arms!
Amen, amen! Knights, mount; to battle!
BASTARD.
Saint George, that swing'd the dragon, and e'er since
Sits on's horse back at mine hostess' door,
Teach us some fence![To AUSTRIA]Sirrah, were I at home,
At your den, sirrah, with your lioness,
I would set an ox-head to your lion's hide,
And make a monster of you.
St George, who killed the dragon, and has ever since
been sitting on a horse's back outside the pub,
teach me some fencing![To Austria] Sir, if I was at home,
at your house, sir, with your wife,
I would make a cuckold out of you.
AUSTRIA.
Peace! no more.
Peace! That's enough.
BASTARD.
O, tremble, for you hear the lion roar!
Oh, tremble, you can hear the lion roar!
KING JOHN.
Up higher to the plain, where we'll set forth
In best appoint
ment all our regiments.
Let's go up higher to the plain, where we will
draw up our regiments in the best battle order.
BASTARD.
Speed then to take advantage of the field.
Let's hurry to get the best position.
KING PHILIP.
It shall be so; and at the other hill
Command the rest to stand. God and our right!
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) Page 4