Farewell, Falstaff: out of my good nature,
I shall speak better of you than you deserve.
[Exeunt all but Falstaff.]
FALSTAFF.
I would you had but the wit: 'twere better than your dukedom.
Good faith, this same young sober-blooded boy doth not love me;
nor a man cannot make him laugh; but that 's no marvel, he drinks
no wine. There 's never none of these demure boys come to any proof;
for thin drink doth so over-cool their blood, and making many
fish-meals, that they fall into a kind of male green-sickness; and
then, when they marry, they get wenches: they are generally fools
and cowards; which some of us should be too, but for inflammation.
A good sherris-sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me
into the brain; dries me there all the foolish and dull and crudy
vapours which environ it; makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive,
full of nimble fiery and delectable shapes; which, delivered o'er to
the voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent wit.
The second property of your excellent sherris is, the warming of the
blood; which, before cold and settled, left the liver white and pale,
which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice; but the sherris
warms it and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extremes:
it illumineth the face, which as a beacon gives warning to all
the rest of this little kingdom, man, to arm; and then the vital
commoners and inland petty spirits muster me all to their captain, the
heart, who, great and puffed up with this retinue, doth any deed of
courage; and this valour comes of sherris. So that skill in the weapon
is nothing without sack, for that sets it a-work; and learning a mere
hoard of gold kept by a devil, till sack commences it and sets it in
act and use. Hereof comes it that Prince Harry is valiant; for the
cold blood he did naturally inherit of his father, he hath, like lean,
sterile and bare land, manured, husbanded and tilled with excellent
endeavour of drinking good and good store of fertile sherris, that he
is become very hot and valiant. If I had a thousand sons, the first
humane principle I would teach them should be, to forswear thin
potations and to addict themselves to sack.
[Enter Bardolph.]
How now, Bardolph!
I wish you had intelligence, it would be better than your
dukedom. I swear, this young sober blooded
boy does not love me, and no man can
make him laugh; but that's no surprise, he does not
drink. None of these well-behaved boys ever
turn out well; their blood gets so cold from drinking
light drinks, and eating too much fish, that they get
a sort of girlish anaemia; and then when
they marry they father girls. They are usually
foolish cowards–which some of us would be as well,
without the drink. A good sherry has
two virtues to it. It climbs into my brain,
and removes all the foolish, dull and melancholic
spirits which surround it, makes it responsive,
quick, creative, full of agile, spirited and delightful
ideas, which when they are transferred over to the voice, the tongue
which gives birth to them, become excellent wit. The second
virtue of an excellent sherry is that it warms the blood,
which before, cold and slow, left the
liver white and pale, which is what breeds timidity
and cowardice; but sherry warms it, and
makes the blood run from the innards to the
extremities. It lights up the face, which, like a beacon,
gives a warning to all the rest of this little kingdom,
the man, to arm itself; and then all the essential commoners,
and the internal spirits, gather around their captain,
the heart; who, great and puffed up by these supporters,
can do any brave deed; and this bravery comes from
sherry. So being skilled with a weapon is nothing without
the drink, for that gets it going, and learning is just a dead
store of gold kept by a devil, until drink gets hold of it
and makes it useful. This is why Prince
Harry is brave; for the cold blood he naturally
inherited from his father he has treated like lean, sterile and
bad land, he has manured it, worked on it, cultivated it with
excellent efforts by drinking a good amount of good quality
sherry, so he has become very passionate and
brave. If I had a thousand sons, the first principle of humanity
I would teach them would be to avoid
thin drinks, and to stick to sherry.
Hello there, Bardolph!
BARDOLPH.
The army is discharged all and gone.
The army has all been discharged and left.
FALSTAFF.
Let them go. I'll through Gloucestershire; and there will I visit
Master Robert Shallow, esquire: I have him already tempering between
my finger and my thumb, and shortly will I seal with him. Come away.
Let them go. I'll go through Gloucestershire; there I will visit
Master Robert Shallow, esquire: I've already been softening him
between my finger and thumb, and shortly I will mould him to my purposes. Come on.
[Exeunt.]
[Enter the King, the Princes Thomas of Clarence and Humphrey of
Gloucester, Warwick, and others.]
KING.
Now, lords, if God doth give successful end
To this debate that bleedeth at our doors,
We will our youth lead on to higher fields
And draw no swords but what are sanctified.
Our navy is address'd, our power collected,
Our substitutes in absence well invested,
And every thing lies level to our wish:
Only, we want a little personal strength;
And pause us, till these rebels, now afoot,
Come underneath the yoke of government.
Now, Lords, if God has given a successful end
to this bloody struggle on our doorstep,
we will take our youths on to higher places,
and only draw blessed swords.
The Navy is ready, our forces are gathered,
those who will stand substitute for us have been sworn in,
and everything is prepared as we want it:
all I need is a little personal strength;
and we shall pause, until those rebels who are still
at large come under the power of the government.
WARWICK.
Both which we doubt not but your majesty
Shall soon enjoy.
And we're sure that soon your Majesty
will have both those things.
KING.
Humphrey, my son of Gloucester,
Where is the prince your brother?
Humphrey, my son of Gloucester,
where is your brother the Prince?
GLOUCESTER.
I think he 's gone to hunt, my lord, at Windsor.
I think he's gone to hunt, my lord, at Windsor.
KING.
And how accompanied?
Who went with him?
GLOUCESTER.
I do not know, my lord.
I do not know, my lord.
KING.
Is not his brother, Thomas of Clarence, with him?
Isn't his brother, Thomas of Clarence, with him?
GLOUCESTER.
No, my good lord; he is in presence here.
No, my good lord; he is attending you here.
CLARENCE.
What would my lord and father?
What does my Lord and Father wish?
KING.
Nothing but well to thee, Thomas of Clarence.
How chance thou art not with the prince thy brother?
He loves thee, and thou dost neglect him, Thomas;
Thou hast a better place in his affection
Than all thy brothers: cherish it, my boy,
And noble offices thou mayst effect
Of mediation, after I am dead,
Between his greatness and thy other brethren:
Therefore omit him not; blunt not his love,
Nor lose the good advantage of his grace
By seeming cold or careless of his will;
For he is gracious, if he be observed.
He hath a tear for pity and a hand
Open as day for melting charity:
Yet notwithstanding, being incensed, he 's flint;
As humorous as winter and as sudden
As flaws congealed in the spring of day.
His temper, therefore, must be well observed:
Chide him for faults, and do it reverently,
When you perceive his blood inclined to mirth;
But, being moody, give him line and scope,
Till that his passions, like a whale on ground,
Confound themselves with working. Learn this, Thomas,
And thou shalt prove a shelter to thy friends,
A hoop of gold to bind thy brothers in,
That the united vessel of their blood,
Mingled with venom of suggestion--
As, force perforce, the age will pour it in--
Shall never leak, though it do work as strong
As aconitum or rash gunpowder.
Only good for you, Thomas of Clarence.
Why are you not with your brother the Prince?
He loves you, and you neglect him, Thomas.
He prefers you to
all your brothers: be glad of it, my boy,
and after I'm dead you may be able
to mediate between him as king and your other brothers.
So do not neglect him, do not make him love you less,
or lose the advantages of being in his good books
by seeming to be cold, or not paying attention to his desires;
for he is gracious, if he is given proper respect,
he can show pity, and is very
generous in giving out charity:
but that notwithstanding, when he's angered, he's like flint,
as cold as winter, and as sudden
as an icy shower at daybreak.
So you must watch out for his temper.
Criticise him for his faults, and do it respectfully,
when you see that he is in a good mood;
but if he is in a bad mood, give him time and space,
until his passions exhaust themselves,
like a beached whale. Learn this, Thomas,
and you will become a shelter for your friends,
a hoop of gold to tie your brothers together,
so that all their blood mixed together,
even when provoked to do evil–
as inevitably the times we live in will do–
it shall never leak out, even if it works
as strongly as wolfsbane or violent gunpowder.
CLARENCE.
I shall observe him with all care and love.
I shall watch over him with all care and love.
KING.
Why art thou not at Windsor with him, Thomas?
Why aren't you at Windsor with him, Thomas?
CLARENCE.
He is not there to-day; he dines in London.
He's not there today; he’s dining in London.
KING.
And how accompanied? canst thou tell that?
And who is with him? Can you tell me that?
CLARENCE.
With Poins, and other his continual followers.
He is with Poins, and his other usual companions.
KING.
Most subject is the fattest soil to weeds;
And he, the noble image of my youth,
Is overspread with them: therefore my grief
Stretches itself beyond the hour of death:
The blood weeps from my heart when I do shape
In forms imaginary the unguided days
And rotten times that you shall look upon
When I am sleeping with my ancestors.
For when his headstrong riot hath no curb,
When rage and hot blood are his counsellors,
When means and lavish manners meet together,
O, with what wings shall his affections fly
Towards fronting peril and opposed decay!
The most fertile soil breeds the most weeds:
and he, the noble image of my youth,
is covered with them: and so my grief
will last beyond my death:
I cry tears of blood when I think
of the leaderless days
and rotten times you shall experience
when I am sleeping with my ancestors.
For when his chaotic rioting is not checked,
when he is advised by anger and his hot blood,
when his extravagance has matching wealth,
how quickly his inclinations will fly
towards the danger and downfall that confront him.
WARWICK.
My gracious lord, you look beyond him quite:
The prince but studies his companions
Like a strange tongue, wherein, to gain the language,
'Tis needful that the most immodest word
Be look'd upon and learn'd; which once attain'd,
Your highness knows, comes to no further use
But to be known and hated. So, like gross terms,
The prince will in the perfectness of time
Cast off his followers; and their memory
Shall as a pattern or a measure live,
By which his grace must mete the lives of other,
Turning past evils to advantages.
My gracious Lord, you go too far in judging him like this.
The Prince is only studying his companions
as you would a foreign tongue, when it is necessary
to learn even the rudest words to become
a master of the language; once you have it,
your Highness knows that the only use they have
is to know them and avoid them. So, like foul words,
the Prince will, in the fullness of time,
throw off his followers, and the memory of them
will be a pattern or a measure
through which his grace will judge the lives of others,
turning previous bad behaviour to good.
KING.
'Tis seldom when the bee doth leave her comb
In the dead carrion.
[Enter Westmoreland.]
Who's here? Westmoreland?
Bees don't often make honey
in dead corpses.
Who's that? Westmorland?
WESTMORELAND.
Health to my sovereign, and new happiness
Added to that that I am to deliver!
Prince John your son doth kiss your grace's hand:
Mowbray, the Bishop Scroop, Hastings and all
Are brought to the correction of your law;
There is not now a rebel's sword unsheathed,
But Peace puts forth her olive every where.
The manner how this action hath been borne
Here at more leisure may your highness read,
With every course in his particular.
Good health to my king, may new happiness
be added to the happiness I'm about to deliver!
Your son Prince John sends
your grace his greetings:
Mowbray, the Bishop Scroop, Hastings and all
have been punished according to your law;
there is not a rebel still in arms,
peace has spread everywhere.
The way this was accomplished can be read
at more leisure in this document,
with all the details of every action.
KING.
O Westmoreland, thou art a summer bird,
Which ever in the haunch of winter sings
The lifting up of day.
[Enter Harcourt.]
Look, here 's more news.
Oh Westmorland, you are like a summer bird,
which brings tidings of spring at the
end of winter.
Look, here comes more news.
HARCOURT.
From enemies heaven keep your majesty;
And, when they stand against you, may they fall
As those that I am come to tell you of!
The Earl Northumberland and the Lord Bardolph,
With a great power of English and of Scots,
Are by the sheriff of Yorkshire overthrown:
The manner and true order of the fight
This packet, please it you, contains at large.
May Heaven keep enemies away from your Majesty;
and, when they stand against you, may they fall
like the ones I have come to tell you about!
The Earl of Northumberland, and Lord Bardolph,
with a great force of English and Scots,
have been overthrown by the Sheriff of Yorkshire:
the way in which this was done is detailed
in this packet.
KING.
And wherefore should these good news make me sick?
Will Fortune never come with both hands full,
But write her fair words still in foulest letters?
She either gives a stomach and no food;
Such are the poor, in health; or else a feast
And takes away the stomach; such are the rich,
That have abundance and enjoy it not.
I should rejoice now at this happy news;
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) Page 96