The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

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The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) Page 216

by William Shakespeare


  thank you: wait for me at home, we'll have some fun:

  don't bother with your thanks, it's worthless.

  KING

  Let us from point to point this story know,

  To make the even truth in pleasure flow.

  To DIANA

  If thou be'st yet a fresh uncropped flower,

  Choose thou thy husband, and I'll pay thy dower;

  For I can guess that by thy honest aid

  Thou keep'st a wife herself, thyself a maid.

  Of that and all the progress, more or less,

  Resolvedly more leisure shall express:

  All yet seems well; and if it end so meet,

  The bitter past, more welcome is the sweet.

  Let me know this story from beginning to end,

  let's enjoy the truth.

  If you are in fact still a virgin,

  choose yourself a husband, and I'll pay your dowry;

  I can see that with your playful help

  you have given a wife back her position, and stayed a virgin.

  We'll learn all about this in good time:

  Everything seems to have turned out for the best; and if it ends so well

  the bitterness of the past makes this sweetness more welcome.

  Flourish

  EPILOGUE

  KING

  The king's a beggar, now the play is done:

  All is well ended, if this suit be won,

  That you express content; which we will pay,

  With strife to please you, day exceeding day:

  Ours be your patience then, and yours our parts;

  Your gentle hands lend us, and take our hearts.

  The play is over, now the King is a beggar:

  Everything has ended well, if we have succeeded

  in pleasing you; we make our best efforts

  to do this, day after day:

  now it's time for you to act for us;

  give us your applause, and we will be grateful.

  Exeunt

  DUKE, living in exile

  FREDERICK, Brother to the Duke, and Usurper of his Dominions

  AMIENS, Lord attending on the Duke in his Banishment

  JAQUES, Lord attending on the Duke in his Banishment

  LE BEAU, a Courtier attending upon Frederick

  CHARLES, his Wrestler

  OLIVER, Son of Sir Rowland de Bois

  JAQUES, Son of Sir Rowland de Bois

  ORLANDO, Son of Sir Rowland de Bois

  ADAM, Servant to Oliver

  DENNIS, Servant to Oliver

  TOUCHSTONE, a Clown

  SIR OLIVER MARTEXT, a Vicar

  CORIN, Shepherd

  SILVIUS, Shepherd

  WILLIAM, a Country Fellow, in love with Audrey.

  A person representing HYMEN.

  ROSALIND, Daughter to the banished Duke

  CELIA, Daughter to Frederick

  PHEBE, a Shepherdess

  AUDREY, a Country Wench

  Lords belonging to the two Dukes; Pages, Foresters, and other Attendants.

  Enter ORLANDO and ADAM

  ORLANDO

  As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion

  bequeathed me by will but poor a thousand crowns,

  and, as thou sayest, charged my brother, on his

  blessing, to breed me well: and there begins my

  sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps at school, and

  report speaks goldenly of his profit: for my part,

  he keeps me rustically at home, or, to speak more

  properly, stays me here at home unkept; for call you

  that keeping for a gentleman of my birth, that

  differs not from the stalling of an ox? His horses

  are bred better; for, besides that they are fair

  with their feeding, they are taught their manage,

  and to that end riders dearly hired: but I, his

  brother, gain nothing under him but growth; for the

  which his animals on his dunghills are as much

  bound to him as I. Besides this nothing that he so

  plentifully gives me, the something that nature gave

  me his countenance seems to take from me: he lets

  me feed with his hinds, bars me the place of a

  brother, and, as much as in him lies, mines my

  gentility with my education. This is it, Adam, that

  grieves me; and the spirit of my father, which I

  think is within me, begins to mutiny against this

  servitude: I will no longer endure it, though yet I

  know no wise remedy how to avoid it.

  Adam, I remember that this was why

  my father left me only a thousand crowns in his will

  and, like you said, tasked my brother,

  while blessing him, to raise me. This began my

  sad problems. My brother, Oliver, keeps my other brother, Jacques, at school,

  where everyone says he is doing very well, but me

  he keeps here at home in the country, or to be

  more exact, cages me here. Do you think

  that it is fitting for such a noble man as me

  to be in the same situation as an ox? Oliver’s horses

  are treated better than me:

  they are fed well and they are trained

  by well paid trainers. Meanwhile, I, his

  own brother, get nothing from his care, unless you count growing and maturing naturally –

  his animals, sitting on piles of dung and manure, get

  as much from him and are just as tied to him. He gives me

  a lot of nothing, and even my noble birthrights

  he has taken away from me: he

  makes me eat with his servants, doesn’t let me have what is rightfully mine as his

  brother, and, as much as he can, ruins

  my upbringing by refusing me a proper education. This, Adam,

  is why I am sad. My father’s spirit – and I

  think I share his independence – begs me to rebel against this

  servanthood. I will stand for this no longer, even though

  I am not sure how to put a stop to it.

  ADAM

  Yonder comes my master, your brother.

  Here comes your brother, my master.

  ORLANDO

  Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how he will

  shake me up.

  Go hide, Adam, and you will hear how

  poorly he treats me.

  Enter OLIVER

  OLIVER

  Now, sir! what make you here?

  Hello, you! What are you doing here?

  ORLANDO

  Nothing: I am not taught to make any thing.

  Nothing – I was never taught how to do anything.

  OLIVER

  What mar you then, sir?

  Then what are you destroying?

  ORLANDO

  Marry, sir, I am helping you to mar that which God

  made, a poor unworthy brother of yours, with idleness.

  Well, I am destroying that which God

  made – your brother who has nothing to do.

  OLIVER

  Marry, sir, be better employed, and be naught awhile.

  Then you should find something to do and go away for a while.

  ORLANDO

  Shall I keep your hogs and eat husks with them?

  What prodigal portion have I spent, that I should

  come to such penury?

  Would you like me to watch your pigs and eat their food with them?

  When did I act like the prodigal son and spend my inheritance, so that I

  must be punished like this?

  OLIVER

  Know you where your are, sir?

  Do you know where you are?

  ORLANDO

  O, sir, very well; here in your orchard.

  Yes, I am in your orchard,

  OLIVER

  Know you before whom, sir?
/>   And do you know who you are talking to?

  ORLANDO

  Ay, better than him I am before knows me. I know

  you are my eldest brother; and, in the gentle

  condition of blood, you should so know me. The

  courtesy of nations allows you my better, in that

  you are the first-born; but the same tradition

  takes not away my blood, were there twenty brothers

  betwixt us: I have as much of my father in me as

  you; albeit, I confess, your coming before me is

  nearer to his reverence.

  Yes, I know him better than he knows me. I know

  you are my oldest brother, and I know you are a gentleman

  by birth, but you should know that I am too. General

  tradition says that you are my elder and should be respected,

  since you are first-born, but that same tradition

  does not take away my nobility, even if there were twenty brothers

  and I was the youngest. I have just as much of my father’s blood in me

  as you do – even if, I admit, your place as being born first

  was more honored by him.

  OLIVER

  What, boy!

  How dare you!

  strikes ORLANDO

  ORLANDO

  Come, come, elder brother, you are too young in this.

  Now, now – you may be my older brother, but you are not very experienced in fighting.

  seizes OLIVER

  OLIVER

  Wilt thou lay hands on me, villain?

  Do you dare touch me, scoundrel?

  ORLANDO

  I am no villain; I am the youngest son of Sir

  Rowland de Boys; he was my father, and he is thrice

  a villain that says such a father begot villains.

  Wert thou not my brother, I would not take this hand

  from thy throat till this other had pulled out thy

  tongue for saying so: thou hast railed on thyself.

  I am not a scoundrel: I am the youngest son of Sir

  Rowland de Boys. He is my father, and whoever says

  that he had scoundrels as sons is himself three times the scoundrel.

  If you were not my brother, I would keep

  choking you with this hand while my other one would rip out

  your tongue for suggesting such a thing. You have insulted only yourself.

  ADAM

  Sweet masters, be patient: for your father's

  remembrance, be at accord.

  Masters, please stop. For your father’s

  sake, be at peace.

  OLIVER

  Let me go, I say.

  Let me go, now.

  ORLANDO

  I will not, till I please: you shall hear me. My

  father charged you in his will to give me good

  education: you have trained me like a peasant,

  obscuring and hiding from me all gentleman-like

  qualities. The spirit of my father grows strong in

  me, and I will no longer endure it: therefore allow

  me such exercises as may become a gentleman, or

  give me the poor allottery my father left me by

  testament; with that I will go buy my fortunes.

  Not until I want to – first you will listen. My

  father requested in his will that you make sure I get a good

  education, and yet you have had me educated like a peasant and commoner,

  failing to teach me the proper qualities of a gentleman.

  I have the same character of my father in

  me and so I will no longer stand for this treatment. Either

  train me in the proper ways of becoming a gentleman or

  give me the small inheritance that my father let me

  in his will, and I will leave to pursue my own future.

  OLIVER

  And what wilt thou do? beg, when that is spent?

  Well, sir, get you in: I will not long be troubled

  with you; you shall have some part of your will: I

  pray you, leave me.

  And then what will you do? Will you beg from me when you run out of money?

  Well, fine, get – I will not be bothered

  by you any longer. You will have your inheritance and then,

  please, leave.

  ORLANDO

  I will no further offend you than becomes me for my good.

  I will not bother you any more than I have to so that I get what is due me.

  OLIVER

  Get you with him, you old dog.

  Go away with him, you old dog.

  ADAM

  Is 'old dog' my reward? Most true, I have lost my

  teeth in your service. God be with my old master!

  he would not have spoke such a word.

  An ‘old dog’ am I? True enough – I am old enough

  to have lost my teeth serving you and your family. God be with your father,

  my old master! He would never have called me such a name.

  Exeunt ORLANDO and ADAM

  OLIVER

  Is it even so? begin you to grow upon me? I will

  physic your rankness, and yet give no thousand

  crowns neither. Holla, Dennis!

  Is it true? Have you grown big enough to challenge me? Well,

  I will cure your rashness against me and will not give you a thousand

  crowns either. Hello, Dennis!

  Enter DENNIS

  DENNIS

  Calls your worship?

  You called, your worship?

  OLIVER

  Was not Charles, the duke's wrestler, here to speak with me?

  Has the duke’s wrestler, Charles, come to see me yet?

  DENNIS

  So please you, he is here at the door and importunes

  access to you.

  He is in fact here at the door now, and asks

  to speak with you.

  OLIVER

  Call him in.

  Call him in.

  Exit DENNIS

  'Twill be a good way; and to-morrow the wrestling is.

  This will work – and, tomorrow is the wrestling match.

  Enter CHARLES

  CHARLES

  Good morrow to your worship.

  Hello, your worship.

  OLIVER

  Good Monsieur Charles, what's the new news at the

  new court?

  Good sir Charles, what is the news at the

  new court?

  CHARLES

  There's no news at the court, sir, but the old news:

  that is, the old duke is banished by his younger

  brother the new duke; and three or four loving lords

  have put themselves into voluntary exile with him,

  whose lands and revenues enrich the new duke;

  therefore he gives them good leave to wander.

  Only the old news, sir:

  that the duke has been banished by his younger

  brother who has become the new duke, and three or four devoted lords

  have joined the old duke in voluntary exile –

  but since their land and money have been given up to the new duke,

  he has freely allowed them to leave.

  OLIVER

  Can you tell if Rosalind, the duke's daughter, be

  banished with her father?

  Was Rosalind, the old duke’s daughter,

  banished with her father?

  CHARLES

  O, no; for the duke's daughter, her cousin, so loves

  her, being ever from their cradles bred together,

  that she would have followed her exile, or have died

  to stay behind her. She is at the court, and no

  less beloved of her uncle than his own daughter; and

  never two ladies loved as they do.

  No, the new duke’s daughter, Rosalind’s cousin, loves

  her – they
were raised together from their cradles –

  and would have followed her into exile or would have died

  without her. Rosalind is at the court, and she

  is just as loved by her uncle as his own daughter, Celia.

  Two ladies were never so fond of each other as they are.

  OLIVER

  Where will the old duke live?

  Where will the old duke live?

  CHARLES

  They say he is already in the forest of Arden, and

  a many merry men with him; and there they live like

  the old Robin Hood of England: they say many young

  gentlemen flock to him every day, and fleet the time

  carelessly, as they did in the golden world.

  Some say he is already in the forest of Arden

  with a group of happy men, living like

  Robin Hood from England. They say young

  gentleman come to him every day and spend the time

  without a care in the world, as if it were the Garden of Eden.

  OLIVER

  What, you wrestle to-morrow before the new duke?

  So will you be wrestling tomorrow in front of the new duke?

  CHARLES

  Marry, do I, sir; and I came to acquaint you with a

  matter. I am given, sir, secretly to understand

  that your younger brother Orlando hath a disposition

  to come in disguised against me to try a fall.

  To-morrow, sir, I wrestle for my credit; and he that

  escapes me without some broken limb shall acquit him

  well. Your brother is but young and tender; and,

 

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