The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

Home > Fiction > The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) > Page 228
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) Page 228

by William Shakespeare


  Give the man mercy, love him, and take his offer.

  The ugliest combination is to be ugly and scornful,

  so take her, shepherd, and be well.

  PHEBE

  Sweet youth, I pray you, chide a year together:

  I had rather hear you chide than this man woo.

  Sweet young man, please, rebuke me for a year:

  I would rather you chide me than this man woo me.

  ROSALIND

  He's fallen in love with your foulness and she'll

  fall in love with my anger. If it be so, as fast as

  she answers thee with frowning looks, I'll sauce her

  with bitter words. Why look you so upon me?

  He has fallen in love with you for your meanness [to Silvius] and she

  is falling in love with my anger. If that is so, then

  every time she answers you with a mean look, I will be rude

  with bitter words. Why are you looking at me like that?

  PHEBE

  For no ill will I bear you.

  I have no ill-will towards you.

  ROSALIND

  I pray you, do not fall in love with me,

  For I am falser than vows made in wine:

  Besides, I like you not. If you will know my house,

  'Tis at the tuft of olives here hard by.

  Will you go, sister? Shepherd, ply her hard.

  Come, sister. Shepherdess, look on him better,

  And be not proud: though all the world could see,

  None could be so abused in sight as he.

  Come, to our flock.

  I’m telling you, do not fall in love with me

  because I am more unfaithful than promises made while drunk.

  Besides, I don’t like you. If you want to know where I live,

  it is at the olive trees close by.

  Come, sister. Shepherd, keep trying on her.

  Come, sister. Shepherdess, look at him more fondly,

  and do not be proud. Even if everyone in the world could see,

  no one has as faulty sight as he does for thinking you beautiful.

  Come, let’s go to the flock.

  Exeunt ROSALIND, CELIA and CORIN

  PHEBE

  Dead Shepherd, now I find thy saw of might,

  'Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?'

  Dead Shepherd, the poet Marlowe, now I understand your words:

  “Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?”

  SILVIUS

  Sweet Phebe,--

  Sweet Phebe–

  PHEBE

  Ha, what say'st thou, Silvius?

  What are you saying to me, Silvius?

  SILVIUS

  Sweet Phebe, pity me.

  Sweet Phebe, take pity on me.

  PHEBE

  Why, I am sorry for thee, gentle Silvius.

  I am sorry for you, gentle Silvius.

  SILVIUS

  Wherever sorrow is, relief would be:

  If you do sorrow at my grief in love,

  By giving love your sorrow and my grief

  Were both extermined.

  Wherever there is sorrow, there is relief:

  if you are sad that I am sad in my love for you,

  you can love me back, and then my sadness and yours

  will both be extinguished.

  PHEBE

  Thou hast my love: is not that neighbourly?

  I do love you, as a friend and neighbor.

  SILVIUS

  I would have you.

  I want to have you.

  PHEBE

  Why, that were covetousness.

  Silvius, the time was that I hated thee,

  And yet it is not that I bear thee love;

  But since that thou canst talk of love so well,

  Thy company, which erst was irksome to me,

  I will endure, and I'll employ thee too:

  But do not look for further recompense

  Than thine own gladness that thou art employ'd.

  That is just being greedy.

  Silvius, there was a time when I hated you,

  and I still do not love you,

  but since you speak well about love,

  your formerly annoying company

  I will endure and keep around me in order to help me.

  But do not look for anything more

  than my own happiness that I can use you.

  SILVIUS

  So holy and so perfect is my love,

  And I in such a poverty of grace,

  That I shall think it a most plenteous crop

  To glean the broken ears after the man

  That the main harvest reaps: loose now and then

  A scatter'd smile, and that I'll live upon.

  My love is so holy and perfect,

  and I am so poorly returned for it,

  that I will think of it as an overabundance

  just to pick the leftover ears of corn after someone else

  reaps the man harvest. Give now and then

  a single smile thrown away, and I will live on that.

  PHEBE

  Know'st now the youth that spoke to me erewhile?

  Do you know the young man who spoke to me before?

  SILVIUS

  Not very well, but I have met him oft;

  And he hath bought the cottage and the bounds

  That the old carlot once was master of.

  Not well, but I have met him often.

  He bought the cottage and land

  that the old peasant watched over.

  PHEBE

  Think not I love him, though I ask for him:

  'Tis but a peevish boy; yet he talks well;

  But what care I for words? yet words do well

  When he that speaks them pleases those that hear.

  It is a pretty youth: not very pretty:

  But, sure, he's proud, and yet his pride becomes him:

  He'll make a proper man: the best thing in him

  Is his complexion; and faster than his tongue

  Did make offence his eye did heal it up.

  He is not very tall; yet for his years he's tall:

  His leg is but so so; and yet 'tis well:

  There was a pretty redness in his lip,

  A little riper and more lusty red

  Than that mix'd in his cheek; 'twas just the difference

  Between the constant red and mingled damask.

  There be some women, Silvius, had they mark'd him

  In parcels as I did, would have gone near

  To fall in love with him; but, for my part,

  I love him not nor hate him not; and yet

  I have more cause to hate him than to love him:

  For what had he to do to chide at me?

  He said mine eyes were black and my hair black:

  And, now I am remember'd, scorn'd at me:

  I marvel why I answer'd not again:

  But that's all one; omittance is no quittance.

  I'll write to him a very taunting letter,

  And thou shalt bear it: wilt thou, Silvius?

  Do not think that I love him, though I am talking about him.

  He is an obnoxious boy, but he speaks well –

  but why do I care about that? Yet, words are working well

  when the speaker pleases his audience by them.

  He is a pretty young man – not that pretty –

  but he is proud, and his pride is somehow attractive.

  He will become a proper, noble man, and his best feature

  is his skin. Just when his tongue

  offended me, his eyes healed the offense.

  He is not very tall, but for his age his is.

  His legs are only so-so, but that’s fine.

  There was a pretty redness to his lips,

  they were a deeper red color

  than that which was in his cheek. It was the difference

  between a pure red and a more pink color.

>   There are some women, Silvius, who, if they saw

  everything I did, would have gotten close

  to falling in love with him. But as for me,

  I do not love him or hate him, though

  I have more reason to hate him than to love him

  since he did nothing but rebuke me.

  He said my eyes and hair were black,

  and I remember that he scorned me.

  I’m surprised I didn’t fight back,

  but that doesn’t matter, to say nothing is not just to quit.

  I will write him a letter to taunt him

  and you will take it to him – will you Silvius?

  SILVIUS

  Phebe, with all my heart.

  With all of my heart, Phebe.

  PHEBE

  I'll write it straight;

  The matter's in my head and in my heart:

  I will be bitter with him and passing short.

  Go with me, Silvius.

  I will write it now,

  since the matter is fresh in my head and heart.

  I will be mean and short with him.

  Come with me, Silvius.

  Exeunt

  Enter ROSALIND, CELIA, and JAQUES

  JAQUES

  I prithee, pretty youth, let me be better acquainted

  with thee.

  Please, good youth, let me know you better.

  ROSALIND

  They say you are a melancholy fellow.

  They say you are a sad fellow.

  JAQUES

  I am so; I do love it better than laughing.

  I am – I love being sad more than laughing.

  ROSALIND

  Those that are in extremity of either are abominable

  fellows and betray themselves to every modern

  censure worse than drunkards.

  Those who are at the extremes of either are awful

  men who open themselves up to every

  ridicule more than drunkards do.

  JAQUES

  Why, 'tis good to be sad and say nothing.

  But it is good to be sad and not say anything about it.

  ROSALIND

  Why then, 'tis good to be a post.

  Then it is just as good to be a post.

  JAQUES

  I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is

  emulation, nor the musician's, which is fantastical,

  nor the courtier's, which is proud, nor the

  soldier's, which is ambitious, nor the lawyer's,

  which is politic, nor the lady's, which is nice, nor

  the lover's, which is all these: but it is a

  melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples,

  extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry's

  contemplation of my travels, in which my often

  rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness.

  I do not have the seriousness a scholar does, which is

  meant to impress, or the musician’s, which comes from fantasy,

  nor the court member’s, which is a proud seriousness, nor the

  soldier’s, which comes from ambition, nor the lawyer’s,

  which is political, nor the lady’s, which is polite, nor

  the lover’s, which is all of these things.

  My sadness is my own, made from many little things,

  taken from many objects, and all of the many

  things I have traveled to see. When

  I think of these things, it wraps me up in a moody sadness.

  ROSALIND

  A traveller! By my faith, you have great reason to

  be sad: I fear you have sold your own lands to see

  other men's; then, to have seen much and to have

  nothing, is to have rich eyes and poor hands.

  A traveller! Then you have great reason to

  be sad. I fear that you have sold your own land in order

  to see other men’s, and then, when you have seen a lot and have

  nothing, you have rich eyes and poor hands.

  JAQUES

  Yes, I have gained my experience.

  I have gained a lot from my experience.

  ROSALIND

  And your experience makes you sad: I had rather have

  a fool to make me merry than experience to make me

  sad; and to travel for it too!

  And your experience has made you sad. I would rather have

  a clown make me happy than experience make me

  sad – and to have to travel for it!

  Enter ORLANDO

  ORLANDO

  Good day and happiness, dear Rosalind!

  Good day and happiness to you, dear Rosalind!

  JAQUES

  Nay, then, God be wi' you, an you talk in blank verse.

  No, then, Goodbye if you are going to talk in metered poems.

  Exit

  ROSALIND

  Farewell, Monsieur Traveller: look you lisp and

  wear strange suits, disable all the benefits of your

  own country, be out of love with your nativity and

  almost chide God for making you that countenance you

  are, or I will scarce think you have swam in a

  gondola. Why, how now, Orlando! where have you been

  all this while? You a lover! An you serve me such

  another trick, never come in my sight more.

  Goodbye Monsieur Traveller. Keep your accents and

  wear foreign clothing, and get rid of all of the rights of your

  own country. Fall out of love with your native land and

  almost rebuke God for giving you the skin color and character that you

  have, or I will not really think that you rode in a

  Venetian gondola. Hello, Orlando! Where have you been

  all this time? You call yourself a lover! If you treat me

  with another trick like this, then do not come here again.

  ORLANDO

  My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my promise.

  My beautiful Rosalind, I have come within an hour of when I promised.

  ROSALIND

  Break an hour's promise in love! He that will

  divide a minute into a thousand parts and break but

  a part of the thousandth part of a minute in the

  affairs of love, it may be said of him that Cupid

  hath clapped him o' the shoulder, but I'll warrant

  him heart-whole.

  You would break a promise with your love by an hour! Whoever

  divides a minute into different parts and then is late

  by one single part of a minute to meet

  his love, then I think that Cupid

  has made him like the woman, but I doubt

  he loves her with his whole heart.

  ORLANDO

  Pardon me, dear Rosalind.

  Excuse me, dear Rosalind.

  ROSALIND

  Nay, an you be so tardy, come no more in my sight: I

  had as lief be wooed of a snail.

  No, if you are this late again, then do not come in my sight again. I

  would rather be wood by a snail.

  ORLANDO

  Of a snail?

  A snail?

  ROSALIND

  Ay, of a snail; for though he comes slowly, he

  carries his house on his head; a better jointure,

  I think, than you make a woman: besides he brings

  his destiny with him.

  Yes, a snail, because even though he is slow, he

  carries his house with him: a better gift,

  I think, than you can give a woman. Besides, he brings

  his fate with him.

  ORLANDO

  What's that?

  How so?

  ROSALIND

  Why, horns, which such as you are fain to be

  beholding to your wives for: but he comes armed in

  his fortune and prevents the slander of
his wife.

  He brings a cuckold’s horns with him, which you men are likely to be

  blaming your wife for. But he comes armed with

  his destiny of cheating, and therefore prevents rumors being sad about his wife.

  ORLANDO

  Virtue is no horn-maker; and my Rosalind is virtuous.

  Virtue does not make a husband become unfaithful, and my Rosalind is virtuous.

  ROSALIND

  And I am your Rosalind.

  And I am your Rosalind.

  CELIA

  It pleases him to call you so; but he hath a

  Rosalind of a better leer than you.

  He likes to call you that, but he has a

  Rosalind with a better face than you waiting for him.

  ROSALIND

  Come, woo me, woo me, for now I am in a holiday

  humour and like enough to consent. What would you

  say to me now, an I were your very very Rosalind?

  Come now, woo me, for now I am in a happy

  mood and will consent to what you want. What would you

  sat to me now, if I were your true Rosalind.

  ORLANDO

  I would kiss before I spoke.

  I would kiss you before I said anything.

  ROSALIND

  Nay, you were better speak first, and when you were

  gravelled for lack of matter, you might take

  occasion to kiss. Very good orators, when they are

  out, they will spit; and for lovers lacking--God

  warn us!--matter, the cleanliest shift is to kiss.

 

‹ Prev