DROMIO OF EPHESUS Methinks you are my glass, and not my brother:I see by you I am a sweet-faced youth.Will you walk in to see their gossiping?
I think you’re a mirror, and not my brother:I see by you I’m a good-looking guy.Will go with me to see their gossiping?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Not I, sir; you are my elder.
No, you first, sir; you are my elder.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS That's a question: how shall we try it?
Good question: how do we know who’s older?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE We'll draw cuts for the senior: till then lead thou first.
We'll draw straws for who’s older: till then you go first.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS Nay, then, thus:We came into the world like brother and brother;And now let's go hand in hand, not one before another.
No, you know what, let’s do this:We came into the world like brother and brother;And now let's go hand in hand, not one before another.
Exeunt
FERDINAND, King of Navarre
BEROWNE, Lord attending on the King
LONGAVILLE, Lord attending on the King
DUMAINE, Lord attending on the King
BOYET, Lord attending on the Princess of France
MARCADE, Lord attending on the Princess of France
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO, a fantastical Spaniard
SIR NATHANIEL, a Curate
HOLOFERNES, a Schoolmaster
DULL, a Constable
COSTARD, a Clown
MOTH, Page to Armado
A FORESTER
THE PRINCESS OF FRANCE
ROSALINE, Lady attending on the Princess
MARIA, Lady attending on the Princess
KATHARINE, Lady attending on the Princess
JAQUENETTA, a country wench
Officers and Others, Attendants on the King and Princess.
Enter FERDINAND king of Navarre, BIRON, LONGAVILLE and DUMAIN
FERDINAND Let fame, that all hunt after in their lives,
Let fame, which everyone seeks in their lives,Live register'd upon our brazen tombs
Live carved upon our brass tombsAnd then grace us in the disgrace of death;
And then honor us in the dishonor of death;When, spite of cormorant devouring Time,
When, in spite of ravenous devouring Time,The endeavor of this present breath may buy
The hard work of our lives may buyThat honour which shall bate his scythe's keen edge
That honor which blunts death’s sharp bladeAnd make us heirs of all eternity.
And make us all live forever.Therefore, brave conquerors,--for so you are,
And so, brave conquerors, --for that’s what you are,That war against your own affections
That war against your own feelingsAnd the huge army of the world's desires,--
And the huge army that is the world’s desiresOur late edict shall strongly stand in force:
Our most recent law will strongly uphold:Navarre shall be the wonder of the world;
Navarre will be the wonder of the world;Our court shall be a little Academe,
Our court will be like an academy,Still and contemplative in living art.
Constant and thoughtful in living art.You three, Biron, Dumain, and Longaville,
You three Biron, Dumain, and Longaville,Have sworn for three years' term to live with me
Have sworn that you will live with me for three yearsMy fellow-scholars, and to keep those statutes
My scholar-men, and to uphold the lawsThat are recorded in this schedule here:
That are recorded in this schedule here:Your oaths are pass'd; and now subscribe your names,
You have said your oaths, and now write your names,
That his own hand may strike his honour down
So that his signature will be his downfall forThat violates the smallest branch herein:
Whoever violates the smallest part of the oath from here on out:If you are arm'd to do as sworn to do,
If you are ready to do what you’ve sworn to do,Subscribe to your deep oaths, and keep it too.
Sign here to affirm your oaths, and keep them.LONGAVILLE I am resolved; 'tis but a three years' fast:
I am determined; it will be like a fast for only three years:The mind shall banquet, though the body pine:
The mind will banquet, though the body will yearn:Fat paunches have lean pates, and dainty bits
Fat stomachs have thin heads, and delicate bitsMake rich the ribs, but bankrupt quite the wits.
Make your ribs rich and completely bankrupt your wits.DUMAIN My loving lord, Dumain is mortified:
My gracious lord, Dumain is humiliated:The grosser manner of these world's delights
The abundance of these world’s delightsHe throws upon the gross world's baser slaves:
He throws to this big world’s lesser people:To love, to wealth, to pomp, I pine and die;
To love, to wealth, to splendor, I yearn and die;With all these living in philosophy.
All of these things will only be thoughts to me. BIRON I can but say their protestation over;
I can only repeat what they have said;So much, dear liege, I have already sworn,
I have already sworn so much, my dear liege,That is, to live and study here three years.
Which is to live and study here for three yearsBut there are other strict observances;
But there are other strict rules;As, not to see a woman in that term,
Like, not being able to see a woman during that time,Which I hope well is not enrolled there;
Which I really hope is not required there;
And one day in a week to touch no food
And for one day a week not to touch any foodAnd but one meal on every day beside,
And only one meal on every day besides that,The which I hope is not enrolled there;
Which I also hope is not required there;And then, to sleep but three hours in the night,
And another, to only sleep three hours a nightAnd not be seen to wink of all the day—
And not being able to close your eyes all day—When I was wont to think no harm all night
When I have been used to sleeping all nightAnd make a dark night too of half the day—
And also into half of the day—Which I hope well is not enrolled there:
Which I really hope is not required thereO, these are barren tasks, too hard to keep,
O, these are empty tasks, too hard to keep,Not to see ladies, study, fast, not sleep!
To not see any ladies, study, not eat, not sleep!FERDINAND Your oath is pass'd to pass away from these.
You’ve sworn an oath to give up these things.BIRON Let me say no, my liege, an if you please:
Let me say no, my liege, if you’ll permit me to say:I only swore to study with your grace
I only swore to study with your graceAnd stay here in your court for three years' space.
And stay here in your court for three years’ time.LONGAVILLE You swore to that, Biron, and to the rest.
You did swear to that, Biron, and to everything else.BIRON By yea and nay, sir, then I swore in jest.
Earnestly, sir, then I swore as a jokeWhat is the end of study? let me know.
What is the purpose of the study? Tell me.
FERDINAND Why, that to know, which else we should not know.
Well, so that we can know things we wouldn’t know otherwise.BIRON Things hid and barr'd, you mean, from common sense?
You mean things that are hidden and barred from common sense?FERDINAND Ay, that is study's godlike recompense.
Yes, that is the godlike reward of the study.BIRON Come on, then; I will swear to study so,
Alright, then; I will swear to study this way,To know the thing I am forbid to know:
So that I can know the thing I am forbidden to know;As thus,--to study where I well may dine,
So that, --I can learn where I can dine,When I to feast expressly am forbid;
When I am expressly forbid to eat;Or study where to meet some mistress fine,
Or learn where to meet a fine lady,When mistresses from common sense are hid;
When ladies are hidden from common sense;Or, having sworn too hard a keeping oath,
Or, if I’ve sworn to keep an oath that’s too hard to keep,Study to break it and not break my troth.
Learn how to break it and not break my loyalty to the pledge.If study's gain be thus and this be so,
If that is what I will gain by studying,Study knows that which yet it doth not know:
Study knows the things that it doesn’t know yet:Swear me to this, and I will ne'er say no.
Swear me to this and I will never say no.FERDINAND These be the stops that hinder study quite
These are the obstacles that greatly impede studyingAnd train our intellects to vain delight.
And allure our intellects to selfish delights.BIRON Why, all delights are vain; but that most vain,
Well all delights are selfish; but the most selfish,
Which with pain purchased doth inherit pain:
Which as it is acquired with hard labor, it inherits pain:As, painfully to pore upon a book
Like, poring laboriously over a bookTo seek the light of truth; while truth the while
To seek the light of truth; and all the while truthDoth falsely blind the eyesight of his look:
Treacherously blinds his eyesight and his power to see:Light seeking light doth light of light beguile:
Searching for truth by excessive study takes your eyes’ ability to see,:So, ere you find where light in darkness lies,
Like, when you stare at a bright light,Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.
It eventually blinds you.Study me how to please the eye indeed
Teach me how to please the eye indeedBy fixing it upon a fairer eye,
By looking at the eyes of a beautiful woman,Who dazzling so, that eye shall be his heed
That dazzles so much that it will be his safetyAnd give him light that it was blinded by.
And it will give him the light that his eye was blinded by.Study is like the heaven's glorious sun
Study is like the heaven’s glorious sunThat will not be deep-search'd with saucy looks:
That will not be scrutinized by insolent looks:Small have continual plodders ever won
People who trudge on continuously win very littleSave base authority from others' books
Except for the lowest power from others’ booksThese earthly godfathers of heaven's lights
These earthly guardians of heaven’s lightsThat give a name to every fixed star
That namde every immovable starHave no more profit of their shining nights
Get no more benefit from their starlit nightsThan those that walk and wot not what they are.
Than those that walk around not knowing what stars are.Too much to know is to know nought but fame;
To know too much is to know nothing but secondhand information;And every godfather can give a name.
And every child’s godfather can give a name.
FERDINAND How well he's read, to reason against reading!
How well informed he is, to argue against learning!DUMAIN Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding!
He is very advanced, to stop all advancement!
LONGAVILLE He weeds the corn and still lets grow the weeding.
He pulls out the wheat and allows weeds to grow.BIRON The spring is near when green geese are a-breeding.
We know that spring is coming when the geese start breeding.DUMAIN How follows that?
What does that have to do with anything?BIRON Fit in his place and time.
Exactly in its place and time.DUMAIN In reason nothing.
It makes no sense.BIRON Something then in rhyme.
Maybe if I made it rhyme.FERDINAND Biron is like an envious sneaping frost,
Biron is like a malicious nipping frost,That bites the first-born infants of the spring.
That kills the first-born buds of the spring.BIRON Well, say I am; why should proud summer boast
Well, say I am; why should glorious summer boastBefore the birds have any cause to sing?
Before the birds have any cause to sing?Why should I joy in any abortive birth?
Why should I take joy in a failed birth?
At Christmas I no more desire a rose
At Christmas I don’t wish that roses would growThan wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth;
Any more than I wish for snow to ruin the new joy of spring in May;
But like of each thing that in season grows.
But each things grows in its own season.So you, to study now it is too late,
Just like you, to study now is too late,Climb o'er the house to unlock the little gate.
Climb over the house and unlock the little gate.FERDINAND Well, sit you out: go home, Biron: adieu.
Well, you sit out: go home Biron; goodbye.BIRON No, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you:
No, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you:And though I have for barbarism spoke more
And though I have been speaking more for the unculturedThan for that angel knowledge you can say,
Than for the angel that is knowledge,Yet confident I'll keep what I have swore
Yet I’m confident that I will keep my oathsAnd bide the penance of each three years' day.
And stay for the three years of penance.Give me the paper; let me read the same;
Give me the paper; let me read the oaths;And to the strict'st decrees I'll write my name.And sign myself to the strictest rules.
FERDINAND How well this yielding rescues thee from shame!
How well you’ve rescued yourself from shame by giving in!BIRON [Reads] 'Item, That no woman shall come within a
‘Note, That no woman will come within amile of my court:' Hath this been proclaimed?
mile of my court:’ Has this been proclaimed?LONGAVILLE Four days ago.
Four days ago.
BIRON Let's see the penalty.
Let’s see what the penalty is.Reads
'On pain of losing her tongue.' Who devised this penalty?
‘If caught, she will lose her tongue.’ Who came up with this penalty?LONGAVILLE Marry, that did I.
That was me.BIRON Sweet lord, and why?
Why, sweet lord?LONGAVILLE To fright them hence with that dread penalty.
To frighten them away form such a horrible penalty.BIRON A dangerous law against gentility!
A dangerous law against nobility!Reads'Item, If any man be seen to talk with a woman
‘Note, If any man be seen to talk with a womanwithin the term of three years, he shall endure such
within the term of three years, he will suffer whateverpublic shame as the rest of the court can possibly devise.'
public shame that the rest of the court can possibly come up with.’This article, my liege, yourself must break;
This rule, my liege, you yourself are going to have to break;For well you know here comes in embassy
You know very well that on their way in embassy The French king's daughter with yourself to speak—
Is the The French king’s daughter, to speak with you--A maid of grace and complete majesty—
A graceful and majestic woman--About surrender up of Aquitaine
About the surrender of Aquitaine
To her decrepit, sick and bedrid father:
To her sick, dying, bedridden father:
Therefore this article is made in vain,
Therefore this rule is useless,Or vainly comes the admired princess hither.
Or it’s useless for the beautiful princess to come here.
FERDINAND What say you, lords? Why, this was quite forgot.
What do you say lords? We seem to have completely forgotten this.BIRON So study evermore is overshot:
And so study is always overshot:While it doth study to have what it would
While it studies to learn what it canIt doth forget to do the thing it should,
It forgets to do what it’s supposed t
o,And when it hath the thing it hunteth most,
And what it has the thing it seeks the most,'Tis won as towns with fire, so won, so lost.
It’s won like towns with fire, won and then lost.FERDINAND We must of force dispense with this decree;
We are going to have to do away with this decree;She must lie here on mere necessity.
She comes here for a necessity.BIRON Necessity will make us all forsworn
Necessity will make us all break our vowsThree thousand times within this three years' space;
Three thousand times within these three years;For every man with his affects is born,
For every man is born with feelings,Not by might master'd but by special grace:
That are not mastered by strength, but by a special grace:If I break faith, this word shall speak for me;
If I break my vows, this word will defend me;I am forsworn on 'mere necessity.'
I broke them because of ‘necessity’So to the laws at large I write my name:
So with the laws at large, I write my name:
Subscribes
SignsAnd he that breaks them in the least degree
And whoever breaks them in the smallest degree
Stands in attainder of eternal shame:
Will be disgraced by eternal shame:Suggestions are to other as to me;
Suggestions are to others as well as me;But I believe, although I seem so loath,
But I think, although I seem so reluctant,I am the last that will last keep his oath.
That I will be the last man to keep his oath.But is there no quick recreation granted?
But will permission not be granted for some quick enjoyment before we start?FERDINAND Ay, that there is. Our court, you know, is haunted
Yes, there will be. Our court, you know, is hauntedWith a refined traveller of Spain;
By an elegant traveler from Spain;A man in all the world's new fashion planted,
A man who is very knowledgeable of the world,That hath a mint of phrases in his brain;
That has a store of phrases in his brain;One whom the music of his own vain tongue
Whose musical native languageDoth ravish like enchanting harmony;
Enraptures like an enchanting harmony;A man of complements, whom right and wrong
A man who gives out compliments, whom right and wrongHave chose as umpire of their mutiny:
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) Page 243