For we must measure twenty miles to-day.
What sort of question is that!
As if you were an improper interviewer!
But, come on, I’ll tell you the whole plan
When we are in my coach which is waiting for us
At the park gate. We must hurry away.
We have to make at least twenty miles today.
Exeunt
Enter LAUNCELOT and JESSICA
LAUNCELOT
Yes, truly; for, look you, the sins of the father
are to be laid upon the children: therefore, I
promise ye, I fear you. I was always plain with
you, and so now I speak my agitation of the matter:
therefore be of good cheer, for truly I think you
are damned. There is but one hope in it that can do
you any good; and that is but a kind of bastard
hope neither.
Yes, it’s true. Look—the sins of fathers
Are paid for by their children. So, I
I worried for you. I’ve always been direct with
you and so I will say what is bothering me in this case:
Be happy, for I really think you are
going to hell. There is only one hope
for you, but that is a sort of illegitimate
hope.
JESSICA
And what hope is that, I pray thee?
Tell me, what hope is that?
LAUNCELOT
Marry, you may partly hope that your father got you
not, that you are not the Jew's daughter.
Well, you can hope that your father is not your father,
and that you are not the Jew’s daughter.
JESSICA
That were a kind of bastard hope, indeed: so the
sins of my mother should be visited upon me.
That would be an illegitimate hope, yes, and the
sins of my mother would be upon me in that case.
LAUNCELOT
Truly then I fear you are damned both by father and
mother: thus when I shun Scylla, your father, I
fall into Charybdis, your mother: well, you are
gone both ways.
Well, in that case, I’m afraid you will go to hell because of your father and
your mother. If you do not fall into one trap—your father—you
will fall into the other one—your mother. So, you are
a goner either way.
JESSICA
I shall be saved by my husband; he hath made me a
Christian.
I will be saved by my husband. He has made me a
Christian.
LAUNCELOT
Truly, the more to blame he: we were Christians
enow before; e'en as many as could well live, one by
another. This making Christians will raise the
price of hogs: if we grow all to be pork-eaters, we
shall not shortly have a rasher on the coals for money.
Well, he was wrong to do that. There were plenty of Christians
before—as many as could stand to live near one
another. Making more Christians will raise the
price of pigs. We we all become pork-eaters, we
will soon not even be able to afford a slice of bacon.
Enter LORENZO
JESSICA
I'll tell my husband, Launcelot, what you say: here he comes.
I’ll tell my husband, Launcelot, what you have said. Here he comes.
LORENZO
I shall grow jealous of you shortly, Launcelot, if
you thus get my wife into corners.
I’m going to grow jealous of you, Launcelot, if
you keep taking my wife into corners like this.
JESSICA
Nay, you need not fear us, Lorenzo: Launcelot and I
are out. He tells me flatly, there is no mercy for
me in heaven, because I am a Jew's daughter: and hesays, you are no good member of the commonwealth,
for in converting Jews to Christians, you raise the
price of pork.
You don’t need to worry about us, Lorenzo. Launcelot and I
are on the outs. He tells me frankly that I will not
go to heaven because I am a Jew’s daughter, and he
also says you are not being a good citizen
because by converting Jews to Christians, you are raising the
price of pork.
LORENZO
I shall answer that better to the commonwealth than
you can the getting up of the negro's belly: the
Moor is with child by you, Launcelot.
I think I can say I am a better citizen than
you can by getting that black woman pregnant. The
Moor is going to have your child, Launcelot.
LAUNCELOT
It is much that the Moor should be more than reason:
but if she be less than an honest woman, she is
indeed more than I took her for.
Well then there’s more of the Moor for a reason,
but if she is less than an honest woman, she is
certainly more than I took her for.
LORENZO
How every fool can play upon the word! I think the
best grace of wit will shortly turn into silence,
and discourse grow commendable in none only but
parrots. Go in, sirrah; bid them prepare for dinner.
Any fool is capable of making puns! I think the
best quality of cleverness will soon be to stay silent.
and talking will only be highly regarded in
parrots. Go in and tell the servants to get ready for dinner.
LAUNCELOT
That is done, sir; they have all stomachs.
That is done, sir. They are all hungry.
LORENZO
Goodly Lord, what a wit-snapper are you! then bid
them prepare dinner.
Good Lord, what a smart aleck you are! Then tell
them to get dinner ready.
LAUNCELOT
That is done too, sir; only 'cover' is the word.
I believe the term you are looking for, sir, it ‘set the table.’
LORENZO
Will you cover then, sir?
Will you set the table then?
LAUNCELOT
Not so, sir, neither; I know my duty.
No sir, that is not my responsibility.
LORENZO
Yet more quarrelling with occasion! Wilt thou show
the whole wealth of thy wit in an instant? I pray
tree, understand a plain man in his plain meaning:
go to thy fellows; bid them cover the table, serve
in the meat, and we will come in to dinner.
You’re just finding reasons to be clever! Are you going
to show me the entire range of you cleverness all at once? Please,
Just understand very plainly what I mean:
Go in there and tell the servants to set the table, serve
the meet and we will come in and eat it.
LAUNCELOT
For the table, sir, it shall be served in; for the
meat, sir, it shall be covered; for your coming in
to dinner, sir, why, let it be as humours and
conceits shall govern.
Regarding the table, sir, the food will be served on it. Regarding
the meat, sir, it will be on covered plates. Regarding your
dinner, sir, well just do what you feel is best and
it will all work out.
Exit
LORENZO
O dear discretion, how his words are suited!
The fool hath planted in his memory
An army of good words; and I do know
A many fools, that stand in better place,
Garnish'd like him, that for a tricksy word
Defy the matt
er. How cheerest thou, Jessica?
And now, good sweet, say thy opinion,
How dost thou like the Lord Bassanio's wife?
I can see that he is very good at playing with words!
The fool has in his head
An army of useful words, and I know
Many fools that are in a better position
That know as many words as he does and engage in word play
To deflect the subject at hand. How are you, Jessica?
Tell me what you think about things—
How do you like Lord Bassanio’s wife?
JESSICA
Past all expressing. It is very meet
The Lord Bassanio live an upright life;
For, having such a blessing in his lady,
He finds the joys of heaven here on earth;
And if on earth he do not mean it, then
In reason he should never come to heaven
Why, if two gods should play some heavenly match
And on the wager lay two earthly women,
And Portia one, there must be something else
Pawn'd with the other, for the poor rude world
Hath not her fellow.
I like her more than I can say. It is right
That Lord Bassanio lives in such an upright way,
And by having such a blessing as her in his life
He will find more joy here on earth than in heaven.
If on this earth with her he can not find happiness
He shouldn’t even bother going to heaven.
Really, if two gods were playing a game in heaven
And placed a bet on two earthly women
With Portia being one of them, there must have been something
Lost on the other, for the poor rude world
Does not contain her equal.
LORENZO
Even such a husband
Hast thou of me as she is for a wife.
I am as good a husband
For you as she is as a wife.
JESSICA
Nay, but ask my opinion too of that.
You should ask me about that!
LORENZO
I will anon: first, let us go to dinner.
I will later. First, let’s go to dinner.
JESSICA
Nay, let me praise you while I have a stomach.
No, let me say good things about you while I feel like it.
LORENZO
No, pray thee, let it serve for table-talk;
' Then, howso'er thou speak'st, 'mong other things
I shall digest it.
No, please, let’s talk about it at dinner.
That way, no matter what you say, I’ll take it in with everything else
and digest it.
JESSICA
Well, I'll set you forth.
Well, I’ll set you straight about it.
Exeunt
Enter the DUKE, the Magnificoes, ANTONIO, BASSANIO, GRATIANO, SALERIO, and others
DUKE
What, is Antonio here?
Is Antonio here?
ANTONIO
Ready, so please your grace.
Yes, I am here, sir.
DUKE
I am sorry for thee: thou art come to answer
A stony adversary, an inhuman wretch
uncapable of pity, void and empty
From any dram of mercy.
I feel sorry for you. You’ve come to face
A hard enemy, an inhuman wretch
who is incapable of pity—a man who does
not have the least amount of mercy.
ANTONIO
I have heard
Your grace hath ta'en great pains to qualify
His rigorous course; but since he stands obdurate
And that no lawful means can carry me
Out of his envy's reach, I do oppose
My patience to his fury, and am arm'd
To suffer, with a quietness of spirit,
The very tyranny and rage of his.
I’ve been told
You have gone to a lot of trouble to try to stop
What he is planning to do. But since he is so stubborn
And no legal means can keep me out
Of his reach, I will face him
With patience to match his rage. I am ready
To suffer this quietly
As he acts out of cruelty and anger.
DUKE
Go one, and call the Jew into the court.
Someone go tell the Jew to come into the court.
SALERIO
He is ready at the door: he comes, my lord.
He is waiting at the door. Here he comes.
Enter SHYLOCK
DUKE
Make room, and let him stand before our face.
Shylock, the world thinks, and I think so too,
That thou but lead'st this fashion of thy malice
To the last hour of act; and then 'tis thought
Thou'lt show thy mercy and remorse more strange
Than is thy strange apparent cruelty;
And where thou now exact'st the penalty,
Which is a pound of this poor merchant's flesh,
Thou wilt not only loose the forfeiture,
But, touch'd with human gentleness and love,
Forgive a moiety of the principal;
Glancing an eye of pity on his losses,
That have of late so huddled on his back,
Enow to press a royal merchant down
And pluck commiseration of his state
From brassy bosoms and rough hearts of flint,
From stubborn Turks and Tartars, never train'd
To offices of tender courtesy.
We all expect a gentle answer, Jew.
Move aside and make room so he can stand before me.
Shylock, eveyone thinks, and I do, too,
That even though you have carried on in a hateful way
All the way to the end, it is thought that perhaps
You’ll surprise us by showing some mercy and pity
Which would be even more remarkable than the obvious cruelty,
And that while you say you will take your penalty—
Which is a pound of this poor merchant’s flead—
You will not only let that go,
But, moved to kindness and compassion,
You will forgive a portion of the principal,
As you look with pity on his losses
That have so recently weighed down on him—
Enough to drive any merchant down
And that would extract feelings of sympathy
From the unfeeling and stone-hard hearts
Of the most unyielding Turks and Tarters, who were never trained
To offer tenderness or courtesty.
We all expect a kind answer, Jew.
SHYLOCK
I have possess'd your grace of what I purpose;
And by our holy Sabbath have I sworn
To have the due and forfeit of my bond:
If you deny it, let the danger light
Upon your charter and your city's freedom.
You'll ask me, why I rather choose to have
A weight of carrion flesh than to receive
Three thousand ducats: I'll not answer that:
But, say, it is my humour: is it answer'd?
What if my house be troubled with a rat
And I be pleased to give ten thousand ducats
To have it baned? What, are you answer'd yet?
Some men there are love not a gaping pig;
Some, that are mad if they behold a cat;
And others, when the bagpipe sings i' the nose,
Cannot contain their urine: for affection,
Mistress of passion, sways it to the mood
Of what it likes or loathes. Now, for your answer:
As there is no firm reason to be render'd,
Why he cannot abide a gaping pig;
Why he, a ha
rmless necessary cat;
Why he, a woollen bagpipe; but of force
Must yield to such inevitable shame
As to offend, himself being offended;
So can I give no reason, nor I will not,
More than a lodged hate and a certain loathing
I bear Antonio, that I follow thus
A losing suit against him. Are you answer'd?
I have told you that I intend to do
What I swear by Holy Sunday to
Have the penalty due for the forfeit of the loan.
If you deny me that, it will endanger
Your city’s rights and freedoms.
You want to know why I’d rather have
A pound of rotting flesh instead of receiving
Three thousand ducats. I won’t answer that.
Let’s just say it strikes my fancy—is that enough of an answer?
What if my house had a rat in it
And I wanted to pay ten thousand ducats
To have it exterminated? Well, do you have your answer yet?
Some men don’t like a roasted pig with its mouth open,
And others go crazy if they see a cat.
Others, when they get a whiff of the sound of bagpipes,
Cannot help but urinate. Our fancy,
Which is connected to our most powerful feelings, determines
What we like or don’t like. So, for your answer:
Just as there is no good reason to be found
Why one man cannot stand a roasted pig,
And another a harmless and useful cat,
And another, the coarse sound of a bagpipe, but who has
To yield to a shameful act because he himself is offended—
In the same way, I can’t give a reason, and I won’t,
Beyond a deep-rooted hate and a steady loathing
for Antonio. So, I will follow through
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) Page 286