Do, do.
GERROLD
Persuasively and cunningly!
Wind horns.
Away, boys!
I hear the horns. Give me some meditation,
And mark your cue.
Exeunt all but Schoolmaster.
Pallas inspire me!
Beautifully and cleverly!
Off you go, boys!
I can hear the horns. Give me time to think,
and look out for your cue.
Pallas inspire me!
Enter Theseus, Pirithous, Hippolyta, Emilia, Arcite, and Train.
THESEUS
This way the stag took.
This is the way the stag went.
GERROLD
Stay, and edify.
Stop and learn.
THESEUS
What have we here?
What's this?
PIRITHOUS
Some country sport, upon my life, sir.
I swear it must be some country entertainment, sir.
THESEUS
Well, sir, go forward, we will edify.
Ladies, sit down, we’ll stay it.
Well, sir, carry on, we will learn.
Ladies, sit down, we'll watch.
GERROLD
Thou doughty Duke, all hail! All hail, sweet ladies!
You good Duke, all welcomes! All welcomes, sweet ladies!
THESEUS
This is a cold beginning.
This is a dull beginning.
GERROLD
If you but favor, our country pastime made is.
We are a few of those collected here
That ruder tongues distinguish villager,
And to say verity, and not to fable,
We are a merry rout, or else a rable,
Or company, or by a figure, choris,
That ’fore thy dignity will dance a morris.
And I, that am the rectifier of all,
By title paedagogus, that let fall
The birch upon the breeches of the small ones,
And humble with a ferula the tall ones,
Do here present this machine, or this frame,
And, dainty Duke, whose doughty dismal fame
From Dis to Daedalus, from post to pillar,
Is blown abroad, help me, thy poor well-willer,
And with thy twinkling eyes look right and straight
Upon this mighty Morr—of mickle weight—
Is—now comes in, which being glu’d together
Makes Morris, and the cause that we came hither.
The body of our sport, of no small study,
I first appear, though rude, and raw, and muddy,
To speak, before thy noble Grace, this tenner;
At whose great feet I offer up my penner.
The next, the Lord of May and Lady bright,
The Chambermaid and Servingman, by night
That seek out silent hanging. Then mine Host
And his fat spouse, that welcomes to their cost
The galled traveller, and with a beck’ning
Informs the tapster to inflame the reck’ning.
Then the beast-eating Clown, and next the Fool,
The Bavian, with long tail and eke long tool,
Cum multis aliis
that make a dance.
Say “Ay,” and all shall presently advance.
If you just watch, our country pastime will prosper.
There are a few of us gathered here
that vulgar people call villagers,
and to tell the truth, and not to lie,
we are merry bunch, or else we are a rabble,
or a company, or metaphorically, a choir,
who will dance a morris dance for your lordships.
And I, who is the director of everything,
a teacher by name, who whips
the little ones with the birch
and the bigger ones with a cane,
present to you this show, this device,
and, sweet Duke, whose splendid terrible fame
has spread around the world
to every corner, help me, you poor well-wisher,
and with your twinkling eyes look clearly
upon this great “moor"–meaning great weight–
and then we add “is”, and putting them together
we make Morris, and that's why we're here.
The main part of our entertainment, which isn't easy,
I will show you now, though it's rough and raw and confused,
let me explain what's going on to your noble grace,
at his noble feat I offer my entertainment.
This is the Lord of May and his bright lady,
the chambermaid and serving man, who
look for quiet corners at night. Then the landlord
and his fat wife, who welcome for their profit
the weary traveller, and make signs
to the barman to bump up the bill.
Then there's the beast eating clown, and then the fool,
the monkey, with a long tail and a long tool,
along with many others
that make up the dance.
Give the word and we'll start at once.
THESEUS
Ay, ay, by any means, dear domine.
Yes, yes, by all means, dear schoolmaster.
PIRITHOUS
Produce.
Show us.
GERROLD
Knock for school.
Intrate, filii
come forth, and foot it.
Enter the Dance. Music. Dance.
Ladies, if we have been merry,
And have pleas’d ye with a derry,
And a derry, and a down,
Say the schoolmaster’s no clown.
Duke, if we have pleas’d thee too
And have done as good boys should do,
Give us but a tree or twain
For a Maypole, and again,
Ere another year run out,
We’ll make thee laugh and all this rout.
Come in, boys,
come in and dance.
[Dance]
Ladies, if we have been jolly,
and have pleased you with our music,
say the schoolmaster isn't a clown.
Duke, if we have pleased you to,
and have done what good boys should do,
just give us the tree or two
to make a maypole, and again,
before another year has passed,
we'll make you laugh along with all your company.
THESEUS
Take twenty, domine.—How does my sweet heart?
Take twenty, schoolmaster.–How is my darling?
HIPPOLYTA
Never so pleas’d, sir.
I've never been so amused, sir.
EMILIA
’Twas an excellent dance, and for a preface,
I never heard a better.
It was an excellent dance, and I never heard
a better introduction.
THESEUS
Schoolmaster, I thank you.
One see ’em all rewarded.
Schoolmaster, I thank you.
Somebody see they are all rewarded.
PIRITHOUS
And here’s something
Gives money.
To paint your pole withal.
And here’s something
to paint your pole with.
THESEUS
Now to our sports again.
Now back to our hunting.
GERROLD
May the stag thou hunt’st stand long,
And thy dogs be swift and strong!
May they kill him without lets,
And the ladies eat his dowsets!
Exeunt Theseus and his company. Wind horns.
Come, we are all made.
Dii deaeque omnes!
Ye have danc’d rarely, wenches.
Exeunt.
May the stag you're hunting wait for you,
and may your dogs be swift and strong!
May nothing get in the way of the kill,
and let the ladies eat his delicacies!
Come, we are all made.
All you gods and goddesses!
You danced beautifully, girls.
Another part of the forest near Athens.
(Palamon, Arcite, Theseus, Hippolyta, Emilia, Pirithous)
Enter Palamon from the bush.
PALAMON
About this hour my cousin gave his faith
To visit me again, and with him bring
Two swords and two good armors. If he fail,
He’s neither man nor soldier. When he left me,
I did not think a week could have restor’d
My lost strength to me, I was grown so low
And crestfall’n with my wants. I thank thee, Arcite,
Thou art yet a fair foe; and I feel myself,
With this refreshing, able once again
To out-dure danger. To delay it longer
Would make the world think, when it comes to hearing,
That I lay fatting like a swine, to fight,
And not a soldier: therefore this blest morning
Shall be the last; and that sword he refuses,
If it but hold, I kill him with. ’Tis justice.
So, love and fortune for me!
Enter Arcite with armors and swords.
O, good morrow.
It was about this time my cousin promised
to visit me again, and bring with him
Two swords and two good suits of armour. If he doesn't,
he's neither man nor a soldier. When he left me,
I didn't think a week would have been enough
to get my strength back, I had been laid so low
by all my needs. I thank you, Arcite,
you are still a fair enemy; and now that
I am refreshed I feel that I can
survive any danger. Any further delay
would make people think, when they heard about it,
that I was a pig who preferred feasting to fighting
and was not a soldier: so this blessed morning
shall be his last; and if that sword he offers
doesn't break, I shall kill him with it. That is justice.
So, love and good fortune for me!
Oh, good morning.
ARCITE
Good morrow, noble kinsman.
Good morning, noble kinsman.
PALAMON
I have put you
To too much pains, sir.
I have given you
too much trouble, sir.
ARCITE
That too much, fair cousin,
Is but a debt to honor, and my duty.
That trouble, fair cousin,
is just doing my honourable duty.
PALAMON
Would you were so in all, sir! I could wish ye
As kind a kinsman as you force me find
A beneficial foe, that my embraces
Might thank ye, not my blows.
I wish you were like this in everything, sir! I wish you
were as good a kinsman as you are a good
enemy to me, so I could thank you with my embraces,
not my blows.
ARCITE
I shall think either,
Well done, a noble recompense.
I would think that either,
if they are given well, would be a great reward.
PALAMON
Then I shall quit you.
Then I shall pay you.
ARCITE
Defy me in these fair terms, and you show
More than a mistress to me; no more anger,
As you love any thing that’s honorable.
We were not bred to talk, man. When we are arm’d
And both upon our guards, then let our fury,
Like meeting of two tides, fly strongly from us,
And then to whom the birthright of this beauty
Truly pertains (without obbraidings, scorns,
Despisings of our persons, and such poutings,
Fitter for girls and schoolboys) will be seen,
And quickly, yours or mine. Will’t please you arm, sir?
Or if you feel yourself not fitting yet
And furnish’d with your old strength, I’ll stay, cousin,
And ev’ry day discourse you into health,
As I am spar’d. Your person I am friends with,
And I could wish I had not said I lov’d her,
Though I had died; but loving such a lady
And justifying my love, I must not fly from’t.
Defy me in these fair terms, and you'll be like
more than a mistress to me; no more anger,
for the sake of honour.
We were not made for talking, man. When we are armed
and both on guard, then let our anger,
like two tides meeting, be unleashed,
and then we will see who truly deserves
to have this beauty, without criticism, scorn,
name-calling and other such pouting,
more fit for girls and schoolboys,
the winner will be decided quickly. Would you like to arm yourself, sir?
Or if you don't feel you're yet ready,
and have regained your strength, I'll wait, cousin,
and every day I will do everything I can
to bring you back to health. I am your friend,
and I wish I hadn't said I loved her,
even if it had killed me; but loving such a lady
and having to prove my love, I can't ignore it.
PALAMON
Arcite, thou art so brave an enemy
That no man but thy cousin’s fit to kill thee.
I am well and lusty, choose your arms.
Arcite, you are such a brave enemy
that no one but your cousin is suitable to kill you.
I am well and strong, choose your weapons.
ARCITE
Choose you, sir.
You choose, sir.
PALAMON
Wilt thou exceed in all, or dost thou do it
To make me spare thee?
Are you going to be so fine in everything, or are you doing it
to get me to spare you?
ARCITE
If you think so, cousin,
You are deceived, for as I am a soldier,
I will not spare you.
If you think that, cousin,
you are deceived, for I am a soldier
and I will not spare you.
PALAMON
That’s well said.
That's well said.
ARCITE
You’ll find it.
You'll see the truth of it.
PALAMON
Then as I am an honest man, and love
With all the justice of affection,
I’ll pay thee soundly. This I’ll take.
Then as I am an honest man,
and am justified in my love,
I'll give you what you deserve. I'll take this.
ARCITE
That’s mine then.
I’ll arm you first.
This is mine then.
I'll put your armour on first.
PALAMON
Do. Pray thee tell me, cousin,
Where got’st thou this good armor?
Do. Please tell me, cousin,
where did you get this good armour?
ARCITE
’Tis the Duke’s,
And to say true, I stole it. Do I pinch you?
It's the Duke's,
and to tell the truth, I stole it. Is that too tight?
PALAMON
No.
No.
ARCITE
Is’t not too heavy?
It's not too heavy?
PALAMON
I have worn a lighter,
But I shall make it serve.
I've worn lighter,
but it will do.
ARCITE
I’ll buckle’t close.
I'll fix it up tight.
PALAMON
By any means.
By all means.
ARCITE
You care not for a grand-guard?
You don't want a chest protector?
PALAMON
No, no, we’ll use no horses. I perceive
You would fain be at that fight.
No, no, we won't use horses. I see
you would rather fight like that.
ARCITE
I am indifferent.
I'm not bothered.
PALAMON
Faith, so am I. Good cousin, thrust the buckle
Through far enough.
Neither am I, I swear. Good cousin, push the buckle
through far enough.
ARCITE
I warrant you.
I certainly shall.
PALAMON
My casque now.
And now my helmet.
ARCITE
Will you fight bare-arm’d?
Will you fight bare armed?
PALAMON
We shall be the nimbler.
That will make us nimbler.
ARCITE
But use your gauntlets though. Those are o’ th’ least;
Prithee take mine, good cousin.
But wear your gloves though. Those are the worst pair;
please take mine, good cousin.
PALAMON
Thank you, Arcite.
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) Page 423