by Zoe Matthews
“Your roses are beautiful,” she told his mother.
“Thank you. Summer came early this year and we’ve had enough rain to help keep everything green and blooming.”
“The ranch is pretty green as well.” The meadow had been in full bloom when she and Bridger had driven away from it several days ago.
“Bridger tells me you have a bunch of brothers and sisters?”
Stephanie smiled. “Two brothers and three sisters. Right now we’re all living together in the Ranch House, just like when we were kids.”
“That must be interesting.”
“It is. We’re all adults now and it’s been fun getting to know each other again.”
“Well, Bridger was very excited when Sheridan called him about coming up there to work. He can’t seem to say enough good about your brother.”
“Sheridan is pretty great. But then, so is Bridger.”
“I’m so glad to hear you say that. His father and I have wondered for quite some time if he would ever find the right woman.” She laid a hand on Stephanie’s shoulder. “We’re so glad he has you now.”
Stephanie inwardly cringed at how happy his mother sounded. Hearing a truck pulling into the driveway, she walked around the house to see Bridger climbing from his truck. “Hey!” she called out to him.
“Hey yourself. What are you doing out back?”
“I was helping your mother in the garden.”
“Ah! Let’s go for a walk.”
Stephanie considered not going, but she was ready to talk to somebody and had a strong desire to talk to Bridger. Her siblings had been calling her cell phone all day, but she’d been letting it go to voicemail. She needed to tell them in person. Not over the phone.
Bridger allowed the silence to reign, and simply held her hand as they walked down his parent’s street.
“Why haven’t you asked me about the doctor’s findings?” Stephanie finally asked, trying to find some way to open the conversation.
“I figured you’d tell me what you wanted me to know when the time was right.” Bridger pulled her to a stop and then looked her in the eyes, “Stephanie, you don’t have to go through this alone.”
She looked down for the longest time, not sure she could handle whatever she might see in his eyes. Swallowing, she decided to just say it all at once and get it over with. “I have MS. It’s confirmed and only time will tell them what type of MS I have.”
Bridger pulled her into his arms and hugged her close. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” she murmured against his chest.
“It doesn’t matter to me.” He pushed her back far enough so that he could meet her eyes, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you and build a life with you.”
Stephanie’s anger was instantaneous and volatile. She shoved against his chest, “You want to marry me?! Didn’t you hear what I just said? I have MS. I don’t need your pity!”
“It’s not pity! I’m falling in love with you!”
“No! I don’t know what this is, but you can’t be in love with me. I’m damaged goods now.” She turned on her heel and ran the distance back to his house.
His mother was still working outside, and she quickly joined her, ignoring Bridger when he returned to the house and stopped to watch her for a few moments before going into the house.
“Is everything all right?”
Stephanie nodded in answer to his mother’s question, “Yes. Everything’s fine.”
****
But everything wasn’t fine. The drive home the next morning was horribly quiet. Stephanie didn’t know what to say to him, and Bridger didn’t want to pressure her.
Stephanie took the cowards way out and pretended to sleep for much of the trip. She just didn’t want to think about anything. All night long, she’d kept hearing Bridger’s words about wanting to marry her, and she’d gotten mad all over again.
No man in his right mind would willingly saddle themselves with a woman who was going to become weaker and more disabled with each passing year. She couldn’t see any other explanation for his offer.
And the closer they got to the ranch, the more she began to dread the upcoming conversation with her siblings. Her father had brought everyone together after his death, in an effort to bring everyone to care for and share with one another.
I bet this wasn’t what he had in mind!
Chapter 15
Sierra and her two girls met her as she entered the main house three hours after leaving Denver. “So, how was your trip?”
“It was fine. Where is everyone?” Stephanie asked, not wanting to explain her condition more than once. Ashley and Elysha started jumping up and down and talking a mile a minute as they tried to tell her something.
“Well, the last I saw, Sheridan and Spencer were sitting out on the patio. Sadie and Stella are here too. Why?”
“Could you gather everyone up and have them come into the Great Room?” Turning to the excited girls, she asked, “What’s got you two so excited?”
The girls started talking all at once. Sierra quieted them momentarily with a look. “Patience, girls. Aunt Stephanie just got home.” She waited until the both nodded before she sighed, murmuring, “I need half of your energy.”
Sierra looked at her sister for only a minute, but then she nodded towards her daughters, “Why don’t you find out what they want to tell you while I go round everyone else up.”
Stephanie sat down near where the two little girls were playing with their dolls.
“Aunt Stephanie, how come you don’t have any little girls?”
Stephanie looked down at Ashley and smiled, “I haven’t met the right man yet. Now, tell me what’s got you both so excited.”
“Kittens!” they both yelled at once.
“Kittens? In the barn?” Stephanie asked. “That is exciting.”
Two little heads nodded. ”Do you want to go see them?”
Stephanie smiled at them both and then laid a hand on each of their shoulders, “Maybe later, okay? Right now, I need to talk to your aunts and uncles. I bet if you headed towards the kitchen…Oh, never mind. Kathy, these two are in need of a little diversion.”
“What’s a diversion?” Elysha asked her sister.
Ashley looked at the adult women and then whispered back loudly. “I don’t know but maybe Kathy would give us some cookies instead.”
Kathy and Stephanie both laughed before Kathy motioned for the girls to bring their dolls and join her. “Cookies it is. Do you think maybe the boys would like to join us as well?”
“Yay!”
Stephanie listened to the joyful sounds as the trio walked off down the hallway. She turned when she heard her siblings start to file down the stairs and in through the back doors.
“Hey, sis. You’re home,” Spencer called out, wrapping her up in a big hug before letting her go and plopping his large frame down in a chair.
“Very observant,” she commented, rolling her eyes at her sisters as they all took seats as well.
“We’re glad your home. Sierra said you wanted to talk to all of us?” Sheridan said, touching her shoulder briefly in concern and support before taking his seat as well.
“I did. I don’t want to have to explain things more than once.” This is going to be hard enough! Taking a deep breath, she looked around the room and then started to relay what the doctor had confirmed.
“I do have MS. They won’t know definitively what type for a while, but the MRI and other tests confirmed it.”
“Oh, Stephanie. We were praying for a different outcome,” Stella said with concern in her voice.
“As was I. Now, I just have to figure out how to deal with the future. The doctor started me on some new medications that are supposed to work wonders for keeping the symptoms at bay. He also wants me to start an exercise regimen.”
“No problem, Stephanie. You make a list of what you need and it will be here as soon as possible. We can convert part of the sun por
ch on the back of the house into a workout room.” Sheridan, as always, was taking charge and dealing with the problem head-on.
“Thanks,” Stephanie told him. “I want to say this now, and please hear me out before you all start objecting. When things start to go downhill, I don’t want to become a burden to all of you.”
Everyone started objecting at once until she lifted her hand to silence them. “I’m serious. I know dad wanted us to all learn to lean on each other for help, but this is more than helping me fix a flat tire on my car, or watching your kids for an hour or two.
“Over time, I could become completely disabled…” Stephanie broke off as a sob threatened to steal her composure. This was much harder than she’d thought it would be. Talking about the future; a future where she was wheelchair bound and needed help with the simplest of bodily functions was not only depressing, it was scary!
“Stephanie, I think I speak for all of us when I tell you that no matter what happens down the road, we are never going to abandon you. Right now, I think it’s important for you to have a positive outlook on life. The medications could be just what you need to keep this disease at bay.
“I think we all need to pray for God’s healing and deal with what’s in front of us instead of looking for the worst to happen.”
When Sheridan quit speaking, Stephanie looked around the room to see her siblings all nodding their heads in agreement. Tears fell from her eyes and she gladly accepted the group hug that followed.
Dad, I guess you got part of your wish. We’re all learning to be there for each other. I just hope my condition doesn’t worsen and put this newfound support to the test too soon.
Chapter 16
Three weeks passed quickly. Sheridan followed through and two days after Stephanie returned from Denver a complete workout gym was set up on the sunporch at the back of the house, with plans to turn a small spare room into an exercise room for winter use.
She started the medications, did the exercises prescribed by the doctor, and continued to make sure everything with the renovation and construction of the new buildings on the ranch was going smoothly. She was glad she had her responsibilities to keep her mind busy.
Her vision was almost completely cleared up and she hadn’t had a dizzy spell in over a week. The strength in her limbs was becoming more reliable, and only once in the last few days had she even felt slightly unstable.
Stephanie thanked God each morning and evening for the progress she was making, and finally started to believe that maybe she could live with MS and still function somewhat normally.
Since returning from Denver, she’d had a few interactions with Bridger, but she’d tried not to be alone with him. He was very respectful of her wishes and never pushed, and while he didn’t avoid her, he made sure she felt no pressure from him.
Stephanie was sitting on the back patio with her laptop when she spied him in the yard beyond speaking with Logan and his boys. She watched him tease the boys about something and then hand them each a screwdriver from his belt.
The boys took off running for the lodge and Stephanie smiled. Bridger was a wonderful man. Kind-hearted, honorable, and a born leader. She’d watched as he dealt with his crew and she was constantly amazed at how calm he was.
Even in the midst of trial, he never seemed to lose his cool. She recalled an incident the week before when a simple mistake in reading the blueprints had required his crew to take down a ten foot high, thirty foot wall and move it back four feet.
The problem had been discovered before the electrical had been run, but it set his crew back two days. Bridger had never once raised his voice. He’d simply instructed his crew to take down the wall and move it. As for dealing with the employee who’d made the mistake, she’d been close enough to overhear him instructing the man on how to read the blueprints and then double check and triple check his measurements to prevent mistakes like this from happening in the future.
The man had been very apologetic, but Bridger had only nodded his head and commented, “We all make mistakes. That’s how we learn. You won’t misread a blueprint again.”
Now, here she sat with her computer opened up to a website that specifically dealt with living a full life with MS. The more she read, the more she was encouraged that in her current condition, she might be able to live a normal life. At least for quite a few years.
But what about Bridger? Did he really not care that she had MS? He’d talked about marriage, but did he really mean it, or was it more of a knee jerk reaction to hearing about her medical condition?
She sat there all afternoon, reading stories about people with MS and their accomplishments, and second-guessing herself. Had she been wise to turn him away? Why did she feel so safe when he was around, and miss him when he wasn’t? What if he really didn’t care that she had MS? Shouldn’t she take advantage of the time she had while she was healthy and allow herself to love and be loved?
She closed her laptop and sat there for only a moment longer. Making a decision, she set her laptop on the side table and stood up. She glanced at her watch and realized Bridger was probably making his final inspections for the day. She made an instant decision.
She walked with purpose, intent on finding him and putting to rest some of the questions rolling through her mind. She passed Sierra and her girls in the garden, and accepted another stack of washcloths from Annie with a smile.
The young woman was thriving at the ranch, and Stephanie found herself comparing her impending disability to the one Annie had been born with. If she can be happy and learn to live with Down syndrome, why can’t I learn to be happy and learn to live with MS? Annie was always so happy. She loved to give hugs to people and she was thrilled when Stephanie had given her the sacks of yarn she had purchased in Denver. I was honestly considering shutting myself off to all the happiness this life has to offer me. Why can’t I be happy, like Annie is?
“Hey, Sierra. Have you seen Bridger around lately?” she asked her sister.
Sierra smiled at her and nodded towards the new lodge. The structure was completely framed in, and work was being done on the inside of the building now. “The last time I saw him he was headed over to the lodge with Sheridan and Spencer.”
Stephanie grew concerned. “Was there a problem?”
Sierra shook her head. “No, not that I know of. He had a suggestion and wanted to run it by them before he spoke to anyone else.”
What suggestion? Why hadn’t he come to her? Stephanie decided to not let it bother her overly much. Bridger would talk to her soon enough.
“Thanks. See you later.” Stephanie headed towards the lodge, passing Sheridan about halfway there walking with Spencer. The two looked to be deep in conversation and almost didn’t see her before they bumped into her.
“What’s got you two thinking so hard at the end of the workday?” she asked her brothers.
Sheridan met her eyes with a smile. “Go ask Bridger. He’s come up with a brilliant suggestion that none of us even thought of.”
“I’m headed that way right now,” she told him.
“Hey sis, you’re feeling better, aren’t you?” Spencer asked.
“I am. The medications seem to be working.”
“I’m really glad to hear that, sis. We all are,” Spencer said, indicating Sheridan as well who was nodding.
“Thanks,” Stephanie smiled at both of them. “I’ll see you both at dinner.” She headed towards the lodge, hoping Bridger was still there. She was becoming more confident now, with each interaction between herself and her siblings, that she was making the right decision.
Chapter 17
Stephanie stepped into the lodge and just stood there looking around her. It was amazing! The craftsmanship and use of natural elements created a visual masterpiece she was going to have so much fun decorating around.
“Steph? Is there something wrong?” Bridger asked from above her.
She looked up and smiled. “No, but I was hoping we could take a walk
. I wanted to talk to you.”
“Sure. I’ll be right down.”
Stephanie rubbed her hands together while she waited for him to join her. She needed to know; she only hoped she could find the right words to tell him what was going through her mind.
Bridger joined her on the main floor and then gestured for her to precede him out the door. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
Stephanie was silent for several minutes while they walked. Finally, she looked at him and told him, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the future.”
“And what do you see in your future?” he asked, reaching over and taking her hand in his own. When she didn’t pull it away, he squeezed it once and then kept walking.
“I came up with a lot of questions about the future.”
“Questions?”
Stephanie nodded. “Did you mean what you said?” She looked at him. “About not caring that I have MS?”
Bridger stopped walking and pulled her around to stand in front of him. “Where is this conversation going, Steph?”
She met his eyes and then softly asked again, “Did you?”
“Of course I did. I told you then that I didn’t care about the MS. I’m in love with you. That isn’t something that’s dependent upon your health.”
Stephanie could hear the frustration in his voice and shook her head, “I wasn’t asking to be difficult. I just needed to hear you confirm it one more time.”
Bridger framed her face in his hands and looked deeply into her eyes, “Believe it. I don’t care that you have MS. It doesn’t change who you are inside.”
Stephanie felt tears spring to her eyes. “At the time, I found it really hard to believe that you could so easily discount what’s going to happen in the future. I couldn’t.”
“You don’t know what the future’s going to be like,” he reminded her.
“No, I’m beginning to believe that now. The medications and exercise seem to be working. I’ve also been doing a lot of research on people with MS and many of them lead almost normal lives for years.”