by Max Shulman
“He thought he was the Earl of Bothwell, that he had landed in Scotland, and that he must find Mary, Queen of Scots. After wandering several days Fate led him to the door of our house.
“It happened that when Cheyne-Stokes came into the house your mother was all dressed and waiting for the new county agricultural agent, one Horst Wessel, to pick her up and take her to the home-canning exhibit in the county seat.
“‘You Mr. Wessel?’ she said to Cheyne-Stokes.
“He fell to his knees. ‘Ah, true queen,’ he cried, ‘indeed I am your vassal. Only command me. What will you?’
“‘Looks like a real nice feller,’ said your mother.
“‘Come with me, true queen,’ he said, ‘and I swear’—he swore a terrible oath—‘that all shall bow before thy splendor and proclaim thee their true queen. Excelsior!”
“Away they went, and that’s the last I ever saw of either of them,” Father concluded.
“Then you’ve been living all alone?” I asked.
“Yes,” said Father. “Until yesterday. I hired myself a housekeeper. Damn fine woman. Maybe you know her. She’s been working on the campus. Her name is Bloor.”
CHAPTER XXII
Ce stylo-là est celui dont je me sers. —POINCARÉ
As I made my way to the grassy knoll where I knew Lodestone would be waiting I could not help wondering how it would seem when I saw her again. I knew that she would be the same, how would I feel toward her? For I had changed vastly, significantly. Would the simple charms of Lodestone appeal to me, or had my year of amassing knowledge, of rounding out my personality, placed me irrevocably beyond Lodestone? Could the new, sophisticated I be happy with Lodestone—elemental, untutored Lodestone?
Then I saw her. I could not speak. I raised my hand. She saw, and, rising, ran to me, cutting huge irregular furrows in the greensward.
She was in my arms. Our lips touched, pressed, clung. I knew again her yielding, embracing self. Together, as one, we were transported into the searing, timeless ecstasy of us. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now!
Peace.
“I been waiting a long time for you,” she said.
“Yes, Lodestone,” I breathed.
“And I’m hungry,” she said.
Nothing had changed.
About the Author
Max Shulman (1919–1988) was an American novelist, playwright, screenwriter, and short story writer best known as the author of Rally Round the Flag, Boys! (1957), The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (1951), and the popular television series of the same name. The son of Russian immigrants, Shulman was born in St. Paul, Minnesota, and attended the University of Minnesota, where he wrote a celebrated column for the campus newspaper and edited the humor magazine. His bestselling debut novel, Barefoot Boy with Cheek (1943), was followed by two books written while he served in the Army during World War II: The Feather Merchants (1944) and The Zebra Derby (1946). The Tender Trap (1954), a Broadway play co-written with Robert Paul Smith, was adapted into a movie starring Frank Sinatra and Debbie Reynolds. His acclaimed novel Rally Round the Flag, Boys! became a film starring Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. Shulman’s other books include Sleep till Noon (1950), a hilarious reinvention of the rags-to-riches tale; I Was a Teenage Dwarf (1959), which chronicles the further adventures of Dobie Gillis; Anyone Got a Match? (1964), a prescient satire of the tobacco, television, and food industries; and Potatoes Are Cheaper (1971), the tale of a romantic Jewish college student in depression-era St. Paul. His movies include The Affairs of Dobie Gillis (with Debbie Reynolds and Bob Fosse) and House Calls (with Walter Mathau and Glenda Jackson). One of America’s premier humorists, he greatly influenced the comedy of Woody Allen and Bob Newhart, among many others.
All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 1943 by Max Shulman
Cover design by Mauricio Díaz
ISBN: 978-1-5040-2778-6
This edition published in 2016 by Open Road Integrated Media, Inc.
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