Talk of the Village

by Rebecca Shaw

  She paused for a moment and smiled secretly to herself. Then recollecting her story she went on, 'Then late in 1916 they got their call up papers. They were always short of money and when the time came for parishioners to apply to the rector for some help for Christmas from the fund, they applied. Said they needed it to set themselves up with stuff for when they went off to war. Well, of course, it wasn't for young men who could fend for themselves and the rector told them so. But one night after they'd been in The Royal Oak and drunk far more than was good for them, they called at the rectory, all four of them, and threatened the rector and made him give them the money. The verger was there too. Now what it was the Glover boys knew I can only guess at, like all the rest of the village did. But they must have had some sort of hold over the two of them, because they didn't harm the rector nor the verger, but before you could say knife the four of them emerged from the rectory each with a pound in their hand.

  'It might seem a small thing in itself, but it was as though the results of their badness were never ending, like the ripples on a pond when you throw a stone in.

  'The verger was a widower and his only child died of diptheria on Christmas Day that year. He saw her buried decent and then gassed himself in his kitchen, where

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  Willie Biggs lives now. Then, would you believe it, on New Year's Eve the rector, what was his name? my memory isn't what it was, was coming home from Penny Fawcett. In those days of course he rode in a carriage, little it was, just big enough for a lone bachelor. Just by Havers Lake Woods his horse took fright at some gun shots and it bolted. He was thrown out and killed. No one put two and two together then, it all just seemed like dreadful coincidences and after all we had so much else to worry about, what with the war and the food shortages and young men dying right left and centre. There seemed no end to the horror.' Mrs Gotobed stopped for a moment lost in thought.

  Peter sat patiently waiting, wondering if she'd fallen asleep.

  'Where was I, oh yes, so the worst was yet to come. All four of the Glover boys were at the front by the following summer. Within the space of three weeks their parents received telegrams, one by one, informing them that they had all been killed. Went down like ninepins they did. Terrible. Terrible. Turnham Malpas almost died too. It was a dreadful blow. None of us could hardly lift our heads to the light of day for months. Then as people talked about it, all the tragedies seemed to come together and everyone became convinced that the deaths were caused by the Glover boys getting money from the rector by force. Since that Christmas of 1916 not a single person hereabouts has dared to ask for a penny from the Fund, for fear of what might happen. Blighted it is, blighted. Christmas 1917 the new rector tried to distribute some money but no one applied and it's been like that ever since.'

  'If all the Glover boys died who was Jimmy Glover's father?'

  'Ah well, there were the four boys who died, they were the eldest, and then came three girls and then

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  Jimmy's dad. He was only eight when it all happened. How they all squeezed into that little cottage of Jimmy's I'll never know.'

  'Thank you for telling me all that. I don't know how you remembered so clearly. I won't stay any longer, I don't want to tire you.'

  'You won't try to use the money for the church will you? The village won't tolerate it, you know. Heaven alone knows what might happen if you do. You're a grand young man with a lot of good work still to do, and we don't want anything to happen to you. It nearly did you know, you've come very close to it killing you.'

  Somewhat shaken by Mrs Gotobed's warning Peter laid his hand on her head and gave her his blessing. As he finished making the sign of the cross on her forehead, she smiled up at him and took hold of his hand. 'And when my time comes, you make sure my funeral service is a happy one, don't want everyone sat there looking glum, they've to sing Hallelujah! After all, I've gone to my reward.'

  'I'll remember, I promise.' Peter turned at the door and said, 'So why did the Gotobeds come to live in Little Derehams?'

  'Because my Jonathan was too frightened to live in Turnham Malpas any more, so we moved here when we married, and I've never been in Turnham Malpas since that day. What's more I shan't, so you'll have to hold my service in Culworth, and I want you to do the service, not that young whippersnapper of a curate they've got there now, all microphones and guitars. And I'm to be buried there too, alongside my Jonathan. Right!'

  'Right!'

  When Peter got home for lunch he told Caroline the full story.

  'In that case then Peter, leave well alone.'

  'You're as bad as Mrs Gotobed, threatening dire

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  consequences if I so much as mention the Fund.'

  'Have you seen the local paper today?'

  'No, I haven't had the time.'

  Caroline put the Culworth Gazette on the kitchen table. She pointed out a news item with the headline 'local bank manager dies'. Peter went very quiet. ' The new manager of the Culworth Branch of the County and Provincial Bank collapsed and died of a heart attack in his office, early yesterday . . .' he read.

  'The poor chap, such a nice man too. This is pure coincidence though and you know it. It's quite preposterous to imagine there is any connection. How you, level headed and thoroughly sensible, can imagine that there is anything . . . '

  'Peter! Take note. Please take note. I know it's silly but . . . well, anyway, I don't often insist about matters which are rightly your own concern, but just this once do as I say, please, and be thankful you've been spared. I know I am.' She reached across the table to kiss him.

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  Chapter 21

  Muriel was still worrying about Venetia. Ralph felt that hers and Jeremy's affairs were quite outside their concern.

  'I fail to see why you should worry about her.'

  'I know Ralph, but I can't help feeling that beneath all that dazzle she is sad and it hurts me that she has no one to sympathise with her.'

  'She's got Jeremy.'

  'In the circumstances he won't feel like comforting her will he? Should I tell Peter? Oh no, I can't because she doesn't want him to know. So you see, she has some scruples.'

  'Not enough by the sound of it!'

  'Ralph!' Muriel picked up her purse and a Liberty shopping bag Ralph had bought her when he last went to London. 'I'm going to the Store, is there anything you want?'

  'Order me some cigars will you, my dear? Jimbo knows the kind I smoke.'

  'Very well. I shan't be long. Are you going into Culworth today as you said?'

  'Yes, come with me Muriel, I hate going alone.'

  'Very well, on the understanding that we have lunch at the George to celebrate.'

  'Celebrate?'

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  'Yes, this week it's one whole year since you came back to Turnham Malpas.'

  'A year? It doesn't feel like that it feels more like tw . . . '

  'Twenty. I know. I know. You're a tease Ralph Templeton.'

  Muriel laughed as she escaped Ralph's embrace and headed for the Store. Only one whole year yet her life had been transformed. She couldn't believe that there was a time when she didn't know how to love. Her heart leapt with joy as she heard the birds singing, and saw the flowers blowing in the breeze, and to cap it all, she was going out to lunch with her best beloved.

  Jimbo's adored brass bell jingled fussily as she entered the Store. Unusually at that time in the morning Muriel found the Store quite empty. Linda always had her coffee break about now. Fifteen minutes and no matter how busy it was, she always, much to Jimbo's annoyance, took her full time. Muriel collected a basket and began to consult her list. She decided that if they were going into Culworth she wouldn't have much time for cooking so she went to the freezer and chose gourmet fish pie and two of Harriet's delicious individual sherry trifles. When she'd collected milk and bread too she went to stand by the till. She waited a few moments and when no one came to take her money, went into the back to find Jimbo or Harrie
t or even Linda, if she could be prised away from her coffee break.

  Muriel went hot all over with embarrassment when she looked in the storeroom. Standing close, very close together were Jimbo and Venetia. His boater abandoned on a nearby shelf, he was holding her tightly and hugging her, and she was hugging him, her arms around his neck, her cheek laid against his. Neither of them noticed her horror-struck presence. She hurriedly retreated back to the Store. Confused and upset, Muriel left her wire

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  basket near the till and fled for the security of Ralph, bumping into Bet from Penny Fawcett in the doorway of the Store who was just coming in. 'Oh oh-h-h-h,' Muriel said unable to find anything else to say. 'Good morning Lady Temple . . . ' Muriel didn't hear the rest, she was rushing on flying feet for home. Her own door was open to catch the sun and she burst into the hall shouting, 'Ralph, Ralph, where are you?'

  'In the study, my dear,' Ralph called out. She stood just inside the door of his study and began weeping. Ralph rose to his feet. 'Why, whatever's the matter?'

  'Oh Ralph, I don't know what to do.' She got out her handkerchief and wept into that.

  'Muriel, my dear, have you been attacked or something? What's happened, please tell me?'

  'It'sjimbo . . . and . . . and Venetia.'

  'Yes?'

  'They're embracing in the storeroom.'

  'Embracing? You must be mistaken.'

  'No, I'm not Ralph, I know what embracing is.'

  'Of course you do, my dear, I'm not doubting your word. I'm just amazed. There must be some very good reason for it, though one doesn't spring to mind very easily.'

  'I couldn't pay for my shopping, so it's still there on the counter. I can't go back it's so embarrassing.'

  'I'll go. Make yourself a cup of tea while I see what's happening.'

  'You don't normally go shopping Ralph, I always go.'

  'Well, we'll break with tradition shall we? Shan't be long.'

  'No, I'll come too.'

  When Ralph and Muriel entered the Store, Jimbo was standing by the till, puzzling over Muriel's abandoned basket. He raised his boater in greeting.

  'Good morning Muriel, good morning Ralph. What

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  can I do for you this fine day?'

  'This is Muriel's basket she left it because there was no one here to take her money, so I've come back with her in case there was anything wrong.'

  'Wrong? No, just busy in the back, and Linda's got half a day for a rather nasty dental appointment. Sorry about that Muriel, I'll check your shopping for you then.'

  As he was putting Muriel's things into one of his smart green carrier bags the bell jangled madly and in stormed Harriet.

  'Back from the antenatal clinic and feeling on top of the world and who's just stopped to speak as I got out of the car? Bet Whatsername from Penny Fawcett.' Harriet imitated Bet's high pitched voice. ' "Oh," she says with a malicious glint in her eye, "I think you ought to know Mrs Charter-Plackett, I've been to have a word with your husband about the bread rolls for the Village Centre Fair, and found him and that floosie from the Health Club hugging and kissing in the back. So embarrassing it was, really." I was so astounded by this juicy piece of information I actually thanked her for it, though I can't think why. Well, what the hell's going on?' She glared furiously at Jimbo who looked flustered but innocent.

  'Now look Harriet, she's completely exaggerating the situation. Venetia was very upset and I took her in the back to give her a chance to calm down. You know perfectly well I wouldn't dream of hugging and kissing her.'

  'Do I? You're a sight too friendly with some of our women customers Jimbo, I've spoken to you about it before.'

  'My dear Harriet, it's all good for trade. You're well aware that's why I do it; a smile here, a chuckle there, here a nudge, there a wink. Muriel knows I wouldn't put myself in a compromising situation, don't you Muriel?'

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  There had been many times in her life when Muriel had wished the ground would open up and swallow her and never more so than now. 'Well, it's like this you see I . . .'

  Jimbo jumped in with the assumption that Muriel was about to agree with him. 'There you are, Harriet, I couldn't have a better testimonial than one from Lady Templeton could I?'

  Muriel held onto Ralph's arm as she replied, 'I didn't say what you think I said.'

  'What did you say?' said Harriet hopping with temper, and clutching at any straw that might justify her suspicions.

  Ralph spoke on Muriel's behalf. 'This is all very difficult but the truth of the matter is . . . '

  The door opened and in came Jeremy. 'Good afternoon all.' He looked round the assembled company and nodded to them in turn. They all stood in stunned silence. 'I've come to see you Jimbo. Venetia's just found me in the pub and told me all about it, so I've come straight round.'

  Muriel went deathly white and grabbed Ralph's arm. Til take Muriel outside for some air, she's feeling faint,' he decided.

  The two of them went to sit on the bench thoughtfully provided by Jimbo.

  'Whatever am I going to do?'

  'Nothing, my dear, nothing at all. Leave them to sort it out. Jimbo's quite capable of taking care of himself.'

  'Oh Ralph, I forgot to order your cigars, and I still haven't got my shopping.'

  'Never mind. We'll get it all in Culworth. We're best out of the Store for a while.'

  'I would hate anything to go wrong between Jimbo and Harriet, especially now when she's expecting their baby. Oh dear, life is so complicated sometimes isn't it?'

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  'None of this is your fault is it, so don't fret about it.'

  'You see, Peter and Caroline have a much stronger marriage than Jimbo. They could withstand, and have withstood, serious trouble and still come through, but I'm not as sure about these two. I do hope Harriet doesn't get too upset.'

  'Don't worry. They'll sort it out.' Ralph patted her hand and then said, 'You look a better colour now, so do you feel able to walk gently home?'

  'Oh yes, I shall be glad to get out of Turnham Malpas today. I'll take Pericles ..."

  'No, I'll take him for a walk. When I get back with him we'll set off. Put your new suit on Muriel. I like you in that.'

  'But we're only going out to lunch.'

  'Yes, but we're celebrating aren't we? Had you forgotten?'

  Harriet lay in bed that night with tears rolling down her face. Jimbo was sitting beside her drinking a medicinal whisky. 'It's all right you laughing now Harriet, at the time you were livid.'

  'Livid? I could have throttled you. I don't know when I've been more angry. It'll be all over the village and then some. You'll never live it down.'

  'Poor Ralph, he just didn't know how to cope. 'Jimbo held his side to alleviate the pain he had there with laughing so much.

  'I really thought Muriel was going to faint. She went deathly white when Jeremy walked in. You do realise that Muriel had seen you, don't you?'

  'Oh God, no. Really? Are you sure?'

  'Pretty sure.'

  'So that was why she abandoned her shopping, of course.'Jimbo began laughing again. 'And then when he said, "Told me all about it and I've come straight round."

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  Oh God, I thought she'll be killing me with one of my butcher's knives.'

  'Or he would. I certainly nearly did.' Harriet started laughing again. 'Tomorrow I shall go round to see Muriel and apologise. I wonder what they had for dinner tonight? It certainly wasn't individual sherry trifle preceded by gourmet fish pie!' They looked at each other and Jimbo laughed uproariously.

  'Harriet, darling, I do love you.' He bent over and gave her a kiss.

  'Good, because you came very close to the garden shears this morning Jimbo. I won't tolerate unfaithfulness you know. That's one of the rules I live by and one of the rules we agreed upon when we married. I know lots of our friends in Wimbledon thought nothing of spreading it around but that isn't for you and me.'

  'I know that. I enjoy w
omen's company, Harriet, I can't deny that, but it is only harmless flirting and absolutely nothing more. I can swear that on the Bible, please believe me.'

  'Well, I've calmed down now, and of course I do know that darling.' Harriet began to giggle.' Venetia must have thought it was her birthday!'

  'She was so grateful! She clung on really hard. She's done that once too often though, if what she told me is true.'

  Harriet sat up. 'What did she tell you?'

  'She told me in confidence, and I can't reveal a confidence can I?' Harriet began tickling him. 'Tell me, tell me.'

  'Stop it Harriet I can't bear it, stop it and then I'll tell you. I don't suppose she'll mind me telling you. She told me,' Jimbo glanced round the bedroom as though making sure no one was listening, 'she told me she'd had a tempestuous affair with a chap called Nigel who came to the health club on a freebie. He's an acquaintance of

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  Jeremy's.'

  'No o o o o. I met him one Saturday when I went up there with the children.'

  'Added to which . . . '

  'Goon then.'

  'She isn't married to Jeremy at all. He picked her up in some kind of massage parlour in Soho. He's borrowed thousands, she's not sure how much. In addition they have a sleeping partner and so he's going down with them too.'

  'A massage parlour? Whatever next! Hell, what a mess. So why was she weeping in your arms?'

  'She came to me for advice seeing, as she said, I was the only one around with a business head on my shoulders.'

  'Was it your head she was interested in?' At this Harriet started laughing again, till Jimbo said, 'You must calm down Harriet, just remember you're pregnant, you've had enough excitement for one day. You're not as young as you were and we don't want anything going wrong because you've got overwrought.'

  Harriet picked up a paperback from her bedside table and beat Jimbo over the head with it. 'And how old does that make you then?'

  After he and Harriet had settled down with their arms around each other, they talked about Jimbo's plans for the Big House. 'This business of a staff training house somewhere away from the bustle of the City is quite the thing with lots of the big companies now. The Big House has the extra filip of having the sports and leisure facilities already there. I could try Drew Turnbull, he's chief on the personnel side at my old firm, he might be able to put me in touch with someone, or, I know! There's always Declan O'Rourke, property manager of Reilly, Buckton and Shears. Now he might be a very good lead. He's a terrible gossip and knows everyone and everything. I'll try him first.'