by Donna Fasano
“Oh, no.” She leaned away from him, shaking her head. “I couldn’t allow you to do that. It’s too much.”
“Nonsense. If it’s going to be a true marriage of convenience, then it has to be convenient for us both, right?”
“B—but—”
She continued to protest, but he silenced her with a firm, upraised hand. “No buts,” he said with a great deal of adamancy. He rested his elbows on the table. “Nicki, I’ve been sitting in this hotel for days. I had just about given up. You’ve given me hope. You’ve made an offer to make my dreams come true. If you do this, you’ll make me a father. Sona’s father. Don’t you realize what that means? To me and to that little girl. You’ve got to let me compensate you in some way. Travel expenses is the least I can do. The least.”
He was persuasive, Nicki thought. With his talk of fulfilling dreams and becoming a father. Yes, he was very persuasive, indeed. Finally, the stiffness in her shoulders eased and she smiled.
“Well,” she said softly, “I didn’t really want to spend the next couple of months working as a waitress, anyway.”
His eyes sparkled with excitement, and Nicki felt a thrill shoot through her at the thought that she was the one who had caused it.
“I can’t believe it, Nicki,” he said. “I’m really going to do it. I really am.”
The delight she felt magnified a hundredfold. His sudden elation over tying the knot, after he’d so adamantly proclaimed his aversion to matrimony, made her feel all sunny inside.
“I really am going to be Sona’s father.”
Nicki’s mouth went suddenly dry with disappointment. Of course, his excitement had been spurred by the anticipation of adopting his little girl. Nicki was silly to have thought anything else.
“Yes,” she said, doing everything in her power to stir up a little excitement of her own. “And I’ve found the means to get to my next teaching assignment. Wherever that will be.”
His sexy mouth widened into a grin and he reached out his hand to her. “So, we have a deal? We’re going to help one another?”
With only the merest hesitation, she took his hand and shook it. “Yes, we are,” she agreed.
An odd and confusing cloud descended on her, and where it had come from she hadn’t a clue. She had found a solution to her problem. The answer had come. Just as she had known it would. And as an added bonus, with that solution had come the opportunity to help someone. She should be feeling happy. Joyous. And she did. But she felt something else, too. A strange melancholy hovered at the edges of her excitement. Finally, she decided she was being ridiculous.
***
“Ah, love is so… how do I say it… grand!”
Nicki had only just met Viktor, the Kyrcznovian translator Sean had hired when he’d first arrived in the country. The young man had agreed to attend their wedding ceremony and act as the necessary witness. She found Viktor to be a tad too high-spirited. Of course, her opinion could have been colored by the doubt she was experiencing, along with the rethinking she was doing, regarding her participation in this scheme. Was she really doing the right thing in marrying a perfect stranger? Of course she was.
But then Viktor gleefully proclaimed to the world at large, “Love is wonderful.”
The man’s boisterousness—all his talk about love—grated on Nicki’s already frayed nerves. And from what she could see, Sean was becoming just as agitated.
“I told you, Viktor,” Sean said, his tone flat, abraded, “this has nothing to do with love.”
Viktor’s voice lowered as he said, “But, Mr. Hudson, it is to invite… how do I say it… ill omens to have a wedding day and not speak of the most powerful of emotions.” After a momentary hesitation, he continued, “It does not have to be your love that I proclaim. It can belong to someone else. But it is only customary to exalt and glorify love and affection and devotion—” he lightly thumped himself on the chest “—all matters of the heart, on a day such as this.”
The fog that had hovered over Nicki during each and every one of the forty-eight hours that made up the official waiting period grew denser by the moment. Ill omens and a loveless marriage. Boy, that summed up this situation perfectly.
Why was she feeling so… doomed? she wondered.
It just didn’t make sense. Glancing at Sean, she saw the apprehension that plagued him had him antsy, too.
Viktor plowed ahead, ever joyous. “Look there.” He pointed at a man and woman sitting on a nearby bench. “There is love and commitment in the way they are holding hands. And there.” He indicated another couple. “The kiss they are sharing is sweet and pure.” Viktor threw back his head and inhaled heartily. “Ah, yes, love is very grand.”
Sean only tossed him a frown.
“Ill omens,” Viktor warned in a singsong voice. “And since you are not having the traditional celebration—”
“Those parties can go on for days,” Nicki couldn’t help but interject.
“—you must at least agree with me on this,” Viktor insisted.
After an impatient sigh, Sean buckled. “Yes, Viktor,” he said, “love is grand. Does that fulfill custom?”
Viktor sighed. “It will have to do.” Then he raised his brows at Nicki, waiting for a response from her.
“You’re pressing your luck now,” Sean grumbled at the young man.
All Nicki could muster was a tight-lipped smile. What did they expect from her? She was getting married… without fanfare, or flowers, without rings, or a frilly dress.
Even her plastic smile faded at that thought.
What was the matter with her? She and Sean had decided that keeping things simple would be the best way to go. Fanfare and flowers, rings and a frilly dress were for people who wanted to show their family and friends how they felt about each other. She didn’t love Sean. He didn’t love her. She knew that. So what was the problem?
But, a tiny voice complained, didn’t a woman have a right to expect a little hoopla on her wedding day?
No, came a firm, silent answer, she did not. Not under these circumstances, she didn’t.
As they went into the building that housed the Marriage Office, Nicki plastered the artificial smile back into place. The hallway was long and poorly lit, but she and Sean knew their way as they had come here to register the very same day she’d offered to marry him. The office had been busy then, just as it was busy now.
It seemed that the spirits of the citizens of Kyrcznovia were not in the least dampened by the civil unrest going on around them. On the contrary, the people of this country were very enthusiastic about the birth of their nation, and they were showing their ebullience and excitement in many different ways. Getting married seemed to be one of them.
Nicki, Sean, and Viktor were told to take a seat.
Sitting in the overcrowded waiting area among all the laughing, affectionate couples, Nicki could clearly see that love was the main reason these men and women had come here. Of course, there were at least a dozen other reasons why people got married. She’d lived in enough diverse cultures to know that. There were some countries where matches were still made by the parents of the young people who married. Those were more like lifelong business relationships, although many of the men and women eventually ended up developing a deep affection for the mate chosen for them. The women in those marriages might not have begun those unions feeling loved, but surely they felt needed… wanted.
That one little word was enough to turn Nicki cold. A shiver actually coursed through her, and panic set in. It was then that she felt Sean’s intense brown eyes on her. She lifted her gaze to his.
Although there was no way he could know her thoughts, he evidently perceived something disturbed her. Maybe he would graciously decide to refuse her offer. Maybe it wasn’t too late for her to get out of this… this foolish arrangement.
Sean’s expression verged on distraught. He leaned close, whispering in her ear. “I know you’re having second thoughts. I’ve sensed it all morning. And
I feel just awful about it.”
After momentarily averting his gaze, he sighed and looked her full in the face. “But if we don’t do this… if we don’t go through with this marriage, they’re not going to let me have Sona.”
The second the little girl’s name passed his lips, Nicki reached out and touched his forearm. “It’s okay,” she assured him, not feeling at all confident herself. “I’m just a little nervous is all. I’ll be fine.” His smile was small, but his gratitude was as clear as the finest crystal.
It wasn’t long after their brief conversation that they were called before the man who would marry them—the Kyrcznovian equivalent of a U.S. Justice of the Peace. The nagging cloud of doubt and anxiety never left Nicki, although she was too busy explaining to Sean all that was being said to focus on her uncertainty. When the officiant asked them if they both were before him of their own free will, Nicki softly said, “Ano,” and then prompted Sean to answer yes also.
Even Viktor had questions to answer about the couple.
There was one lighthearted moment when Sean became a little tongue-tied with the Kyrcznovian words that had him “pledging his truth” to Nicki. Everyone chuckled, and after a second attempt, Sean got it right. Finally, they were pronounced man and wife.
“Well—” Viktor nudged Sean with his elbow “—kiss her, why don’t you?”
The whole room grew utterly still. Her new husband turned to face her, then he looked from the Sobash uradnik—the man who had wed them—then to Viktor and then finally back to Nicki. For a moment, she thought he meant to forgo this particular wedding ritual. Her stomach churned, her gaze darting from his questioning eyes, to his lips and then back to his eyes.
She was desperately afraid he would kiss her. She was also desperately afraid he would not. And the opposing confusion and chaos of these thoughts had her mind whirling a mile a minute.
Sean leaned toward her, and suddenly his mouth was pressed to hers. His lips were firm, yet gentle, warm and—
The kiss was over almost before it began. She felt both relieved and utterly bereft. Lord, she’d never experienced such a jumble of emotions in her whole life.
“Let’s go.” His whisper was rough against her ear.
In a fog-filled tunnel, Nicki felt as if she were in the throes of an out-of-body experience as Sean shook the hand of the Sobash uradnik, smiling tightly at the man’s proffered wishes for a lifetime of happiness in a language he didn’t understand. After accepting some papers from the man, her husband took her elbow and steered her toward the door.
Her husband…
Nicki took a deep breath. She felt light-headed and shaky.
This was stupid! She shook the thoughts from her mind. She was making too much out of all these silly feelings swirling around in her brain, in her chest. But her emotions were so surprisingly strong. And thick. They seemed to congeal in her lungs, making it hard for her to breathe.
Nicki and Sean burst through the door, into the bright sunshine. She gulped in the afternoon air, trying hard to keep her composure.
“The people at Child Services are expecting us,” Sean told Nicki. “You will come with me?”
“Of course,” she said.
He turned to Viktor. “Well, my friend… I want to thank you for helping me.”
“This sounds like… how do I say it… a goodbye.”
Sean shrugged. “Well, Nicki can translate for me, so I thought—”
“Oh, no,” Viktor protested. “I want to stick with you until the end. I want to meet that little girl.”
The excited anticipation glittering in Sean’s eyes tickled Nicki and dissolved all her dark, ominous feelings. This man’s dream was about to come to fruition. She couldn’t blame Viktor for wanting to be present when it happened. She was pleased to be a part of it, herself.
“Well, then,” Sean told them both, “let’s go get my daughter.”
***
He paced the length of the room and back. “What’s taking them so long?” Sean asked. “The paperwork for the adoption has been in order from the beginning. All they wanted was for me to have a wife. I have one. So what’s the hold up?”
Concern and commiseration etched lines in Viktor’s young face as he looked at the clock on the wall.
Nicki let her gaze follow her husband’s every move. She feasted on the sight of him. After today, she would never see Sean again. She wanted some memories to take with her when they parted.
She wasn’t stupid enough to believe that she’d fallen for Sean Hudson since meeting him in that restaurant a couple of days ago. Why, he was really still a stranger to her. All she knew was that he loved a little girl he had never even met. And that had been enough to convince Nicki that he was one extraordinary man. A man she wanted to help. And she had. She should feel good about that. So why then did she feel so conflicted?
“Do you think they’re questioning the marriage?” he asked.
The fear tensing his body tore at her like sharp talons. ‘‘Why should they?” Lowering her voice, she remarked, “They have no idea that the two of us made a… a—” her tongue tripped over the word “—bargain.” However, she had no clue what was actually happening behind the closed door of the office.
‘‘They have sent someone to fetch your little girl,” Viktor said, his tone more confident than his gaze reflected. ‘‘I am sure of it.”
Sean continued his pacing; Nicki turned back to staring out the window.
The door of the waiting room opened, and the man from Child Services walked in with a dark-haired toddler in his arms. He crossed the room and wordlessly, without fanfare of any kind, handed the child over to Sean. The air was so still, so silent. Nicki could hear her own heart beating like a huge kettledrum.
‘‘Sona.”
The euphoria in Sean’s whisper sent a chill racing up Nicki’s spine. Joy and relief made his gorgeous eyes shine with welling moisture, and Nicki had to press her fingertips to her lips to keep from crying. Viktor, too, was highly emotional, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.
More paperwork was exchanged, and finally, the government employee bid Sean a curt congratulations and he left them.
Viktor came to Sean and Sona, smiled softly at the little girl, and touched her on the chin. ‘‘You’re a lucky little girl,” he said to her. “I wish you much happiness, Mr. Hudson.”
‘‘Thanks for everything, Viktor.” The two men shook hands.
‘‘If you are ever in my city again, you be sure to… how do I say it… look me up.”
Sean nodded. ‘‘You can bet I will.”
After tossing Nicki a wave of farewell, Viktor closed the door softly behind him.
A moment of awkward silence followed. Nicki saw that Sona looked uncertain, and she thought that was a very natural thing for the child to be feeling. This lovely dark-eyed little girl might feel lost right now, but Nicki knew it wouldn’t be long at all before Sona’s gaze would shine with adoration and love when she looked at Sean. The two of them would develop that strong father-daughter bond. Nicki was sure of it.
Approaching Sean, Nicki said, “You want me to walk you back to your hotel?”
He shook his head. “I’m going to wait here awhile. I want to give her time to get used to me.” Nicki hid her disappointment behind a smile. “I understand.” He wanted time alone with Sona. That was clear. “You’re going to be a fabulous father, Sean Hudson.”
Then he did something wholly unexpected. He reached up and gently caressed her cheek. The moment was poignant, special, and she savored every delicious second.
“This wouldn’t have happened without you, Nicki.”
Her smile broadened. “I was happy to help.”
“You have my business card,” he said. “You call me as soon as you find a teaching assignment. I’ll see that you get there. First-class.”
His unexpected generosity made her chuckle. “Aw, but I’m not a first-class kinda girl.”
“Oh, yes you are, Nicki W
illis.”
Her smile waned when he used her last name. She felt a funny kind of sadness to realize he didn’t think of her as his Mrs. But why should he?
“You’re most definitely first-class.”
She only stared at him for a moment, languishing in the warmth of his touch. And for an instant, she felt needed. Wanted.
Emotion bombarded her, and fresh tears prickled her eyelids, splintering his image into a thousand shards of watery light.
Stepping away from him, she dashed the tears away before he could see her reaction. This wasn’t about her. It was about Sean. It was about Sona.
After clearing her throat, she said, “I’m only glad I could help.”
She looked from him to the little girl, and leveled her gaze on Sean’s face once again. Then and there, she knew that she’d done the right thing in marrying this man, in helping him adopt this beautiful, parentless child. Nicki had never been more certain of anything.
Reaching out, she captured Sona’s fingers in hers. “Your daddy’s going to give you a good life.” She then repeated the words in the child’s native dialect.
A shadow of a smile tilted the child’s lips for a fraction of a second before the cloud of confusion and fear returned to her expression with a vengeance. Sona would be okay. With a loving father like Sean, how could she be anything else?
Nicki’s gaze was helplessly drawn to Sean. “You’re her everything now.”
His soft, quick inhalation was unmistakable.
“I’ve never been anyone’s everything.”
His adoring gaze was locked on Sona. For some strange reason, Dina didn’t want to go. But it was time.
Unable to bring herself to say goodbye, she simply offered him a smile. And then she left him alone with his new daughter.
Chapter Three