by Judy Corry
"A lot has changed in that time." She sat down on the top step and patted the spot next to her. "Have a seat."
He hesitated, part of him still wanting to run away. But when he met her gaze, she was looking up at him with such a soft and gentle expression that he didn't have the heart to leave. So he stepped down and sat beside her.
"Do you miss it?" Kate asked.
"Miss what?" Drew asked, confused.
"The way things used to be." She lifted a hand and gestured at the basketball hoop on the side of the driveway. "The neighborhood basketball games. The bonfires at the beach. The simple things that just made life great."
He thought about it. Growing up with the Dawsons as a sort of second family had been wonderful. His mom had worked a lot of nights. His dad hadn't been in the picture for years. So Drew had spent most of his evenings with Aiden and his family.
He tugged on his pant legs. "Growing up with you guys are where some of my fondest memories came from."
"Mine too." Their eyes met, and he felt a warm feeling building in his chest. But he forced it away. He wasn't supposed to feel warm when he looked at Kate. They were in the here-and-now, and things were different.
"Remember how you and Aiden used to always try to pull all-nighters and he was barely able to stay up past midnight?" Kate asked.
"Yeah, it was like someone pressed a magic button and he would immediately turn into a zombie once the clock struck twelve." Drew's lips stretched into a grin.
"Even I could stay up longer than him."
Drew smiled. It was true. Kate would often force her company on them, begging to play against the winner of whatever video game they were playing. They only sometimes let her actually have a turn. Most of the time, she sat on the couch with them and ate all their candy. Drew never really minded, though. At least he'd had someone to talk to when Aiden conked out on the floor. Kate had actually never made it through the night, either. And once she'd fallen asleep around three in the morning, Drew would just get bored and decide to go to bed as well, since staying up all night by yourself was boring.
"Did he ever tell you about our Weekend of Shame?" Drew asked.
Kate's jaw dropped, astonishment covering her features. "’Weekend of Shame?’"
Drew laughed. "It's not as bad as it sounds."
"It’d better not be."
"Aiden just thought he was hilarious when he decided we should call it that."
"So what happened on this shameful weekend of yours?" Kate arched an eyebrow.
Drew shrugged. "One weekend our sophomore year, my mom went out of town, leaving me to fend for myself. So, Aiden and I came up with this great plan to ask if we could have a sleepover at my house. We were dying to get a moment of freedom. Your parents of course said yes, thinking my mom would be home."
"You naughty boys," Kate said with a smile.
Drew chuckled. "So naughty. All we did was drive around town in my clunker car with the windows down, hoping we looked cool to any girls we might meet along the way."
"And did you?"
He snorted. "Sadly for us, no one seemed interested in a couple of gangly sixteen-year-olds." Yeah, they were about as far from high in demand as they could have been at that time. But they sure felt like studs back then. "Anyway, we totally lived things up that night. We went and toilet-papered Tansie Clemont's car since that's what you did back then when you liked a girl. Then we went back to my house to pull our first official all-nighter. Aiden promised he'd stay awake this time."
"Which we all know was a lie."
"He really tried this time, even going as far as to take a nap first. We had all our favorite caffeinated sodas ready and everything, in case a moment of weakness found us. We started out strong, but around two a.m. I noticed Aiden was getting drowsy. So I came up with this awesome idea to wake us right up."
Drew shook his head and laughed at the memory. "We had this big closet under the stairs that my mom kept all our extra pillows and blankets in. I thought it would be a great idea to go in there and jump around for a while, fall in them…that kind of stuff." He smiled. "It was surprisingly fun. But then, when we tried to get out of the closet, we couldn't get the door to open. It had somehow gotten jammed. That's when we started freaking out. My mom wasn't supposed to be home until Sunday night, so we had almost two whole days before anyone would even be in the house to hear us."
"I'm guessing since you're still alive, and since I've never heard this story before, you made it out okay."
"Great deduction, Sherlock." Drew smiled. "We did eventually kick the door open, but that surge of panic had really exhausted us. After that, we did a lap around the house and breathed in all the fresh air we could before going back to our video games."
"And let me guess, Aiden fell asleep fifteen minutes later?"
"I think he made it twenty." Drew winked. "But yes, eventually, neither of us could keep our eyes open. And we weren't about to try the awesome jumping closet again, so we turned off the TV, grabbed our pillows and sleeping bags, and zonked out. Our Weekend of Shame ended with no all-nighter once again."
And they never had a full, honest-to-goodness all-nighter before Aiden was gone. Not even in college.
"Did Aiden really never tell anyone about that?" Drew asked.
"Nope, he never said a word." Kate shook her head, and Drew noticed that her eyes were moist at the memory.
Of all his siblings, Aiden had always been closest to Kate. Yes, they fought all the time, and Kate sometimes drove her brother nuts, but they had loved each other so much. Drew felt the most sorry for her. That was why he knew he had to stay away after Aiden died. He didn't deserve to have her in his arms after everything that had happened.
But it did make him wonder. If Aiden had kept their Weekend of Shame a secret from his family, what other things had he kept just between them? Had Aiden ever told Kate about all the times he had to tell Drew to keep his eyes away from his younger sister?
"Thanks for sharing that with me." Kate wiped at her eye with her fingers. "It's been a long time since I've heard a new Aiden story."
It was then that Drew got a good look at her left hand. She seemed to notice his stare and immediately slid her hand between her knees.
But he'd already seen what he needed to see. Her ring finger was naked.
His heart stuttered to a stop before running off like a racehorse. He watched as she squeezed her eyes shut, like she'd just been caught doing something wrong.
Drew cleared his throat and sat up straighter. "Is there a reason why you’re not wearing your wedding ring today, Kate? Is everything okay with you and Nolan?"
She bit her lip, but still wasn't looking at him. "Nolan and I—"
The door behind them opened. "Kate! Kate! Gramma said we can't eat dirt and worms until you and your fwiend comes inside."
Kate darted her gaze between the boy and Drew, as if she couldn't decide who she was supposed to talk to at that moment.
"Kate?" Drew asked, urging her to answer his question."
"Please! I want dirt and worms!" Her little nephew jumped up and down, pouting his lip.
Kate looked back to Drew, but in the end, she stood up. She was taking her escape from the conversation. Drew wanted to snatch her hand back and force her to answer his question. But she was already inside before he could even move.
13
Kate
"Would you mind dropping by the cemetery before taking me home?" Kate asked once they got in Drew's car after her family's memorial activities were done. It had been an emotional day for everyone. She had loved reliving the memories her family and Drew had of her brother. But while it had been therapeutic, it had also been hard. Aiden had been a ray of sunshine, everyone's friend, the wise but fun older brother. The day had ended with everyone writing a message to Aiden then attaching it to a balloon and sending it up into the sky. But there were some things she wanted to "tell" him. Things she also needed to tell Drew. Especially after his question about her
and Nolan.
So they headed to the Valhalla Memorial Park Cemetery.
"Do you want me to wait in the car?" Drew asked as they drove down the road closest to Aiden's plot.
"No." Kate played with the hem of her skirt. "I'd like the company."
She didn't want to say everything twice.
So they walked through the grass until they came to the white marble stone that marked Aiden's burial site.
Aiden John Dawson
January 21, 1990 — March 14, 2011
Son, Brother, Friend.
Not nearly enough years were lived between that dash.
That first year, Kate had come to this spot monthly whenever she needed to talk to her brother. Before he died, he'd always given her great advice, and he understood her better than anyone else. Even though they were three years apart, the age gap had seemed to disappear once she joined him in high school.
"Hey, Aiden," she said, looking down at the stone. "Sorry it's been a while since I've come here. I've kind of had a busy year. As you know, I got married to Nolan last summer." Kate rubbed her finger, where her ring should have been. A bird landed on the ground a few feet away, pecking around for something to eat.
"Are you sure you want me to hear all this?" Drew interrupted, his face showing how uncomfortable he felt.
"You need to hear this, too." She looked at him carefully. "Anyway, I ran into Drew at the store a few weeks ago, he was dressed like a maniac." Drew chuckled beside her. "And he offered me this awesome job. I think he's trying to help fill in for my big brother." Drew put his arm around her and squeezed her against his side. "Anyway, he's actually a pretty big deal these days. As if being a super successful businessman wasn't enough, he's also a big reality TV star and has all kinds of women wishing they could marry him. So, he got me this job where I'm pretty much his slave and have to do everything he wants…but it's also going to help me get in with the people who can hopefully help me follow my dreams." She looked up at Drew with watery eyes and smiled before continuing with her story.
"But there's something I haven't told either of you…haven't really told anyone besides our family, actually." She paused and took a deep breath. "I've been lying to Drew about me and Nolan." Drew's arm tightened around her for a second. She didn't dare look at him to see his reaction. Instead, she tried to draw in a calming breath, but it didn't work. "We actually separated only one month after getting married. Things were a lot different once we were married. Nolan had kept a lot of secrets from me, and he didn't treat me very well."
Tears bit at her eyes as she remembered that month of being a prisoner in her own home. How controlling Nolan had become. How she couldn't even talk to her mom and dad on the phone when he was around because he was always so paranoid about what she might tell them. Then there was the Internet history he'd forgotten to clear.
"Anyway, Mom and Dad came and got me one day and brought me home. Then Dad had a good talk with Nolan, which sent him packing. He lives in Seattle now with an old girlfriend he'd been messing around with while we were together. We filed for an annulment and everything was taken care of by October."
Drew was completely silent as he listened, and when Kate finally dared look up again, she noticed his eyes were damp and his face so somber.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Kate whispered. "I felt terrible lying. I was just so embarrassed about the whole thing. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want anyone to know about it."
Drew pulled her into his chest and held her so tight she could barely breathe. "Don't feel sorry for one second," he spoke into her hair. "You have nothing to be ashamed of."
Kate nodded and leaned her head against his chest, soaking up all the strength she could from his strong arms.
After a long moment, where Drew just held her and rubbed her back, she said, "If I'd known I was going to get a big bear hug instead of a how-could-you-lie-to-me look, I would have told you weeks ago." She laughed, wiping the moisture from her eyes.
A low rumble echoed through his chest. "Anytime you need a hug just let me know. I'm pretty much a professional hugger these days."
"The bachelor usually is, consoling all those hormonal ladies he's dating." She leaned against him a moment longer before finally peeling herself away. "And I really might take you up on that. I mean, how many girls get to brag about hugging The Drew Burrows whenever they want?"
Drew just shook his head and pulled her back toward his car. "I'm really not that big of a deal."
"Oh, but you are." She smiled, realizing just then that she was holding Drew's hand. Which brought up another thought. "I'm probably going to lose my job now, huh?"
Drew went still. "Why would you lose your job?"
"Didn't you say Alexis was against you spending much time alone with a single woman?"
That seemed to bring him to the present, because he let go of her hand. He sighed, and she kept her gaze down, afraid she'd see on his face that her fears were right.
But instead of telling her that he was going to call and tell Alexis the news now, he said, "Will being single keep you from fulfilling your duties as my handler?"
Would it be terrible if she admitted that part of her really didn't want to help him get engaged to Gwen? A part that was growing bigger every day?
Yeah, Alexis definitely wouldn't want to keep her on if she knew that.
"I think being single actually makes it easier for me to fulfill it. My schedule is a lot more flexible than it would be otherwise."
She hoped that sounded convincing enough.
"Then let's just keep this between us for now. Alexis has enough to worry about already, and it's not like we're anything but friends, right?"
Her heart sunk a little at the word friends, but she forced a smile on her lips and gave his arm a bump with her knuckles. "Yep. Just a couple of good friends from way back in the day."
14
Drew
Drew's heart was still pounding when he dropped Kate off at her apartment.
The apartment where she lived all alone…because she was single.
He still couldn't wrap his mind around it.
What had gone wrong? She said Nolan hadn't treated her very well and that he had changed after they got married. But what did that mean? It could be a dozen different things.
Gwen had been different after the show, but that was more like how high maintenance she was without him knowing. Like how she had to have a new pillowcase every day, and how she refused to eat leftovers. Definitely not things to get divorced over…even if they were annoying.
Another thing he couldn't wrap his mind around was the fact that Kate was still single after her divorce. She'd been dating one guy or another ever since she graduated high school—his social media stalking had told him that—it was hard to imagine her not being in a relationship anymore.
Was she okay? She had to be hurt, having gone through whatever it was that had caused the marriage to dissolve. He wished she had told him right from the start, so he wouldn't have accidentally rubbed salt in the wound every time he asked about Nolan.
Drew walked into his kitchen and found the container of food Carmella had left for him. Even though he enjoyed his weekly pizza night, with an extra dose that day in honor of Aiden, he usually tried to eat clean and keep with the new diet his personal trainer had given him. During filming he'd been on beaches, in pools and hot tubs, and thankfully, it was a little less daunting since his trainer Kieran had helped him turn his average build into one with more definition. If there wasn't something like millions of viewers talking about your abs or lack thereof for workout inspiration, he didn't know what was.
He checked the time as he sat down to his early dinner. Gwen would be expecting his call in forty minutes. Yeah, they had to schedule their phone calls to make sure they'd be alone while talking and not have anyone figure out that Gwen was the girl he'd chosen.
Their phone calls had started out nightly once filming had ended. Then after their first couple
of weekend getaways, the calls turned into every other night. Now it was normal for them to only call each other two or three times a week. And sadly, they didn't even seem to miss the calls. That probably wasn't a good sign for their relationship. At least it wasn't something that should happen when you were supposed to be head over heels, can't-wait-to-get-down-on-one-knee in love.
Their last weekend together had been fine, and they got along okay, but there wasn't that spark he wanted to be there. And he knew it wasn't just him who was feeling it. Gwen wasn't nearly as invested in him, either. And when the time came for Dion to pick her up to go to the airport, she'd seemed almost excited to leave. They really needed to fix that. But what were they supposed to do? They couldn't just go on a date anytime they wanted to. He couldn't just drop by her work with a bouquet of flowers. He couldn't even send her flowers, since Alexis was so paranoid that someone would pick up on it and spoil the show's ending.
For a show that wanted people to find everlasting love, they certainly made it hard for them to stay in love…or in like, as it was in Drew's case. Drew really didn't want to disappoint everyone, and he really didn't want Alexis to sue him for ruining her show. He did like Gwen most of the time, even though the fun, cool version of her from filming had seemed to disappear. He knew she was still in there somewhere—she couldn't have been faking it the whole ten weeks they were together…right?
"We need you to come in for more pickups this week. Today would be ideal if you have the time," Mallory, the story producer's assistant, told him Monday morning. He was in his home gym, finishing his Kieran-approved workout.
"Didn't you guys get what you wanted last time?" Drew asked.
"Oliver wasn't exactly happy with the way they came off."
In other words, you suck at acting, Drew.
Drew sighed. "I can come in today. When do you need me?"
"The earlier, the better. It might take a couple of hours, and we'd love to be done by three."