by Judy Corry
"Okay," Drew said, heading back to the table and pulling out a chair for Kate. "Let's get this started. I'm supposed to get dressed in an hour, so there isn't much time to get it done."
"What do you have so far?" Her face was all business, but there was something there that told him she might be dreading this just as much as he was.
He gestured at the blank sheet of paper. "So far I’ve got nothing."
Kate took the pen. "Do you mind?"
"No, no, please. Go ahead."
She put pen to paper and looked at him with those bright blue eyes of hers. "Well, if I was watching the show, I would want the proposal to be genuine…" She smirked at him, and Drew was relieved she could joke around on such a somber day. "But since that's not possible, we'll just have to dream up the most romantic proposal we can."
"Sounds good to me."
"Let's start with Gwen,"
Drew felt himself scowl at her name. Kate seemed to notice.
"Well, it is her name, isn't it?"
"Yeah, but…I don't know. Let's just leave her name off. I think that's part of the problem. I can't come up with a proposal for Gwen because I don't want to propose to Gwen."
Kate crossed out Gwen's name and moved down a line. "So, should we just pretend you're writing this for someone else?"
"Sure," he said.
They worked through a bunch of proposals, using lines like “You make my life so much better,” and “I can't imagine life without you.”
But even though those lines sounded great for a proposal, he could never imagine himself saying them to Gwen. They'd have to reshoot it about a million times before they could come out sounding genuine.
Drew slumped in his chair. "Maybe I should just keep it short and sweet. Just get down on one knee and blurt out, 'Will you marry me?' and call it good."
Kate leaned back. "It's up to you. I don't think Alexis will be content with that, but I'm out of ideas too, so maybe it's for the best."
"I wish it didn't have to be this way," Drew said, not trying to hide the longing in his voice any longer. He put a hand on her face, caressing her cheek and loving the way her skin flushed at his touch. "I wish—"
There was a knock on the door.
Joe peeked his head inside. "It's time to get in your suit. We'll be leaving in an hour."
34
Kate
One hour.
Just one hour and Drew would be getting engaged.
Even though Kate knew it wasn't real, she still hated the thought of watching it. Hated the thought that while promoting their fake engagement, he and Gwen might rediscover the small connection they had had on the show. She had been his final pick for a reason. There couldn't be nothing between them.
Gwen was gorgeous. She had long silky hair, flawless skin, and legs that went on for days. Any guy would be tempted by such a woman.
Drew looked at her with regret in his eyes. Was he sad that he had to go through it, or was he sadder that she had to watch?
"Do you want me to leave?" Kate asked. They really hadn't gotten the proposal ironed out at all, but she didn't think she'd be much help if they tried any longer either. Her heart just wasn't in it, and when her heart wasn't in something, the words didn't flow.
"No. Stay." Drew put a hand on her shoulder—she could feel the heat of it through her clothes. "I'll change in the bathroom then you can help me make sure my tie is on straight. You've always been so good at that."
Kate nodded and watched him disappear into the bathroom with his suit bag.
What was she doing? Why was she putting herself through this torture? She should have told Alexis she couldn't help this week. She should have faked an illness. Broken a bone. Anything but watch the guy she was in love with propose to someone else.
Drew came out a few minutes later with his suit pants on. He was still working on the last few buttons on his dress shirt.
"Would you mind helping me with my hair? I'm thinking I may need that inspirational Treven hairstyle to pull off my mad acting skills today."
"You don't just want me to do it because the bad-boy look is totally hot on you?"
"Maybe I just want to impress a certain handler of mine. I think she likes my hair better that way." He finished buttoning the rest of his shirt up.
Kate led the way into the bathroom. As Drew sat in front of the mirror, she worked some wax onto his strands, her fingers carefully reshaping his hair to the way she’d done it before. Kate kept her focus on the task at hand, but she could feel him watching her, making her self-conscious.
When she finished, he inspected his reflection. Their eyes met in the mirror, and their gazes locked for a long moment. Why had she told him he couldn't kiss her until after this was all over with? What if that had been her only chance to kiss Drew—really kiss Drew—before he changed his mind?
"It looks good," she finally said.
He nodded, but he was studying her face, as if looking for something she was hiding. "Thank you."
"Do you already have your tie picked out?"
"Yeah. It's the same one I wore before."
Of course. Dumb question.
"I should probably put it on now, huh?"
It was a beautiful silvery-gold tie with dark and light blue stripes. It went perfectly with his tanned skin and blue eyes. She watched as he lay the tie below his collar. Watched his skillful hands work the tie into a full Windsor knot. Studied his fingers as they tweaked the knot just so until it was perfectly even.
Why couldn't she just tell him not to go through with this? Why couldn't she tell him to just pick her now, instead of waiting and making the possibility disappear?
He had slipped from her fingers once before, so easily before. Was history going to repeat itself?
"How does it look?" Drew turned to Kate.
"It's just a little off center," she lied, smoothing over his collar and pulling the tie a fraction of an inch to the right, only to move it right back.
She was going to lose him. She was going to lose her second chance.
"Everything okay?" Drew asked.
She realized she'd been standing there dumbly gripping his tie, not wanting to let him go.
She shook her head and fought back tears. "It's fine. You look…" She examined him from head to toe. "You look amazing. Really, all the women across the United States are going to wish they were Gwen."
She sure did.
He checked his reflection in the mirror, and then he pulled out a photo from the suit bag. It was a photo of himself from the original taping months earlier. He wore the exact same suit, same tie and everything. Her eyes stopped on his hair.
"We did something wrong," Kate said.
"What?"
"Your hair. You can't do the Treven style." She pointed at the picture, at his hair which was done in his usual messy pulled-forward-and-to-the-side style.
"Oh, I see." He made a face as though trying to solve a problem. "I'm going to have to get my hair wet and start all over."
It didn't seem like too big of an issue, he was a guy after all. It wouldn’t take forever to dry his hair or anything.
But when he started taking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt, her eyes widened.
"What are you doing?"
He stopped at the last button and shrugged. "I don't want to get my shirt wet."
"Oh, right. I, uh…" She looked up to avoid gaping at his sculpted torso. "Okay. Yeah, just…uh…here, let me hold them for you."
He slipped out of his shirt and set them in her outstretched arms. Man, did he look good. Seeing him shirtless in real life was way more overwhelming that seeing him like that on TV. He was tanned and toned. He was a man with a Twitter account dedicated to his abs of steel. And she was the woman who wanted to own that account.
She swallowed the huge lump in her throat as she watched him bend his head under the tub faucet, his back and shoulder muscles flexing.
She had to look away to catch her breath. When she heard hi
m turn off the water, she handed him a towel so his wet hair wouldn't drip onto his nice navy-blue suit pants.
While he was drying himself off, his biceps caught her gaze with the movement. Kate could feel her face heating up. Drew began working on his hair, styling it as it was in the photo.
Kate needed to think of something to say before he could sense how awkward she felt standing in the bathroom with a shirtless Drew. So she said the first thing that came to her mind. "I'm sure Gwen will be happy to hear that those Friday night pizzas haven't taken away the physique you had during filming."
Kate cringed, realizing how much more awkward her comment had made things.
Drew glanced down at himself. "Thanks?"
"Sorry, that was weird. I'm, uh, I guess I'm not used to being around you like this. Maybe I should go back into the other room."
Drew stopped for a second. "I'm almost done. I'll put my shirt back on in just a minute."
Once he was finished, he checked the photo with Kate, and they both agreed that it looked almost the same. At least, it was hard for them to tell the difference. If some fan noticed, they were watching the show for the wrong reasons.
Kate checked the time on her watch. Only half an hour left until he had to leave. Thirty more minutes.
She needed to tell him how she felt. She needed to just say the words.
But every time she tried, her tongue got all tied up and nothing would come out.
"Are you ready for this?" Kate finally asked when he'd finished tying his tie.
"I guess so. I still haven't come up with what I'm going to say, though. That's probably going to be a problem."
"Wanna give it another try?"
He nodded, and they went back to the table. This time, Drew picked up the pen.
"What would you want someone to say to you if you were getting engaged?" Drew asked, his eyes boring into hers. Probably searching her soul.
She shrugged. But when he continued to stare at her, waiting for an answer, the words started spilling out.
"I guess I'd want the guy to start out by telling me how beautiful I am." She lifted her shoulder. "Yeah, in my fantasy world, a guy would think I'm gorgeous."
"You are." Drew was looking at her seriously.
She bit her lip and turned her face to the wall. "And then I'd want him to tell me all the reasons he loves me, and not the generic things that could be true about anyone. The little details, the things that only he would know because he knew me so well."
Drew nodded, writing the words little details on the paper.
"What else?" He looked at her again, his gaze incredibly intense. She grew hot under his stare.
Kate tilted her head to the side. "I don't know. I guess I want the whole 'when I picture my future, I can't picture it without you in it.' You know, that kind of thing. I'd want him to say any other heartfelt things that came to mind, maybe talk about experiences that told him I was the one for him. And then he'd get down on one knee and ask me to marry him, and I'd say yes…well, if it was the right guy, of course."
Drew jotted down notes on everything that Kate had just said. But instead of writing down the actual proposal for Gwen, he ran a frustrated hand through his hair.
"I can't do it," he said, tossing the pen back on the table. He got up. "I still can't think of anything to say. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this."
He gazed at her as if for reassurance, his eyes bobbing back and forth as he studied each of hers.
"Maybe you shouldn't." She stood.
Disbelief flashed on his face. "What?"
And instead of thinking too much, and telling herself not to do anything about it, to be patient and good, Kate leaned in and put her lips to Drew's, kissing him long and slow, as if she wasn't in any hurry at all.
When she pulled away, Drew's eyebrows were squished together. "But I thought you said not to—"
"Kiss me." Kate slid her hands up his arms until they rested behind his neck.
An instant later, Drew was gripping her waist and pushing her against the wall. His lips collided with hers in a long, passionate exchange. His mouth was hot and moist and demanded that she answered his kiss. Kate's rational thoughts disappeared, as did her inhibitions.
Her hands traced their way down his back until they found the spot where his shirt had come untucked. She smoothed her fingers along the line of bare skin at his hip, wishing she'd decided to kiss him when his shirt was off. His skin was warm under her fingers, and she ventured to rub her palm along his back, his shirt lifting in the front as she did so.
"Are you trying to undress me?" Drew asked, his voice low and seductive.
"No." Her whole body flushed with heat, and she immediately forced her hands down so his shirt dropped back in place.
"Good. Because I may be kissing you in a hotel suite, but I still plan to be true to my nickname."
"Saint Drew?" she asked, her voice squeaking at the thought that he assumed she was trying to bring him to the dark side.
"Yes."
"Have you never been tempted to ruin your good-boy reputation?" she asked breathlessly between kisses.
"Only every time I kiss you." He mumbled against her lips.
His hands slipped up her sides before moving to her back where they rubbed slow circles along her spine. Her head became muddled again, and she forgot about why they were in Antigua. All she could think about was this moment. Him. Her. Alone in his room. Kissing each other the way she wanted to be kissed for the rest of her life.
She gasped when he trailed kisses along her jaw.
"I want you to be mine, Kate," he mumbled before finding her mouth again, taking her bottom lip between his and gently sucking on it.
"I want you, too." Ask me to marry you. Not Gwen! Her mind screamed at him.
He lifted her from the ground and set her on the long dresser. A second later, he was cradling her head in his hand and kissing her again.
"I should have been kissing you like this for the past seven years." He leaned his forehead against hers after an exchange so heated she couldn't see straight.
She nodded and tried to catch her breath "Yes." I want you to kiss me like this forever.
35
Drew
Maybe kissing Kate in his hotel suite wasn't the best idea, because all Drew could think about now was pushing the limits further. The limits he'd set for himself so long ago he could barely remember when he'd done it. In all his life he'd never been tempted to take that final step, to give away the one thing he only planned to give to one person. Until now. With Kate.
His every sense was filled with Kate Dawson. She smelled like warm vanilla. Her skin was softer and smoother than he could ever imagine. Like satin or silk. And the curves of her body fit perfectly against his edges. Her lips tasted like her Chapstick—spicy—and he could not quench his hunger for her.
The urge to carry her to his bed was so strong that a war raged inside his mind—and he didn't know which part of him was winning.
And then he realized she wasn't as inexperienced in the bedroom as he was. She'd been married before. Which probably meant staying away from him was that much harder for her since she wasn't used to having to stop.
He swore under his breath, chastising himself for putting them in this situation. This wasn't him. He wasn't the kind of guy to let his emotions rule over him.
But then again, he'd never felt these emotions before. His heart had never felt like it belonged to anyone but himself. In this instance, however, he knew that it did. It belonged to Kate. He loved Kate.
And once those words were in his head, he wanted to say them. He finally understood why people couldn't keep their love to themselves when they knew it was there.
I love you, Kate, he wanted to say. The words were on the tip of his tongue, just waiting for him to let them loose. He loved her. He wanted her. He wanted to marry her and have babies with her. Sharing his life with her was the only thing that mattered anymore. He could have all the money in the wo
rld, but it would be nothing if he didn't get to spend the rest of his days loving this beautiful woman before him.
36
Kate
Kate wished she could read Drew's mind, to know what he was thinking. He had deepened their kiss so far that she didn't know if there was anywhere left for them to go but down the path she knew they'd regret in the morning. He was getting engaged to someone else. In just a few more minutes. He was going to give away the proposal that should be hers.
"What are we doing?" she asked, her voice coming out shakier than she'd planned.
He sighed, his expression torn. When he opened his eyes, she saw raw pain reflected in them. "I don't know." He stepped back, giving them a little more space. His chest heaved as if he was having a hard time catching his breath. "I know we need to stop."
She drew in a ragged breath and urged her heart to calm down. If it kept going at this rate, she was going to have a heart attack.
He brushed stray hairs away from her cheek and sighed. "I—" He pinched his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again. She'd never seen so much desire in them before.
"Did we almost…?" She couldn't say the words. It was too much like admitting they'd almost crossed the line into a territory they weren't meant to cross.
He shook his head. "We were close."
"But you said you were waiting until you're married."
"I know, that's still my plan. I—I just want you to know that I want it to be with you."
Her heart didn't have a chance to slow down, because it was off to the races again. Was he telling her he wanted to marry her?
Drew stared at her for a long moment, as if getting up the courage to say something. He looked down and linked their hands together then sighed again before meeting her gaze. "Tell me not to do it. Tell me not to propose."
Her heart stopped. Her whole body went still, and all she could think was, I shouldn't have to tell you. You should pick me first.