She sat back as Phillip placed a prawn cocktail in front of her then continued on around the table, setting down the rest of the meals. Anticipation wormed deliciously in her stomach and Ketty allowed herself a small smile. Her table for eight could well prove to be an interesting mix.
By the time they’d finished sweets Ketty had some background knowledge of her fellow diners, all except Jim. He’d been harder to engage and was the first to excuse himself. He was swiftly followed by Bernard who’d invited Celia, and Ketty but she’d declined, for a drink on the pool deck and Christine had nearly dragged Frank from his chair to go with them.
Ketty remained at the deserted table and indulged herself in a post-dinner whisky while she pondered what she’d learned in the last hour and a half. Celia was a divorcee. Bitter, from what Ketty read between the lines. She’d spent half the meal looking over her shoulder, perhaps wanting to be somewhere else. Bernard was a widower turned playboy who was not missing a chance to enjoy life. Christine had done her best to gain her father’s attention all night and if looks could kill poor Celia would be dead for trying to constantly engage Bernard in conversation. Frank had sat back, grinning agreeably but saying little and Jim, well, poor Jim was a grieving widower and it would take a bit of work to get him to smile.
“Was everything to your satisfaction, Miss Clift?” Carlos stood almost to attention at the end of her table. Even though she was alone, he maintained a formal staff-to-passenger manner.
“Perfect as always, Carlos. The food was divine.”
“And the company?” He leaned in slightly, eyebrows raised.
She smiled at her old friend. “Interesting.”
“And the two empty seats may be taken at tomorrow night’s sitting.”
“I think there’s enough here to keep me busy.” Ketty smiled. “I’m sure you will be working late tonight, Carlos, but perhaps we can have our usual catch up tomorrow night?”
“I would be delighted.” His dark eyes twinkled. “Enjoy your evening, Miss Clift.”
She raised her glass. “Thank you, Carlos.” She watched him move on, weaving skilfully between the tables, pausing to adjust a chair, straighten a cloth, redirect a waiter and then come to a stop across the room where several other diners still lingered.
The warm murmur of his voice was followed by gentle laughter from the patrons. No doubt he was charming them with a compliment or a joke. It was an indulgence on Ketty’s part to claim him as a friend but that was how she thought of him. Perhaps because their friendship had been struck in their younger years, they were comfortable in each other’s company even though they met only once every few years. He had a cousin in Brisbane and liked to holiday in Australia. He’d even visited her once at her place in Paddington. It had been long before the renovations upstairs and the makeover out the back and she’d been living with a man who she’d thought might have been the one to replace Leo in her heart but he hadn’t. Damn, she was back to Leo again. She rose from her chair and nodded at Phillip who had been waiting discreetly to strip the table and reset it ready for breakfast.
Why was Leo’s memory haunting her so strongly now after all these years? They’d never cruised together so there was no connection there. Time and distance had been exceptional healers; age and experience had created new memories, better ones, and yet as she walked through the almost-empty dining room she found herself wondering what if, what if things had been different and she and Leo had lived this life together? There were no guarantees that she wouldn’t still be the single older woman travelling alone, worried about money and the future. She and Leo may have fallen out of love as had some of her friends whose marriages had ended in divorce or he could have become sick and died. She’d lost a few friends already, far too early.
Ketty retraced her steps across the sparkling tiles and up the atrium stairs. All around her people were still out and about enjoying their first night at sea while she walked alone, trapped in a memory of what might have been. It was a rare indulgence. Once more she blamed her approaching birthday. Seldom had the marking of another year bothered her before. She drew in a breath, straightened her shoulders and strode on past the overflowing bars, the happy voices and the bright tunes of a pianist playing an Irish jig. A good night’s sleep would put it all to rights.
Five
Night One – Late Evening, At Sea
“Come on, Celia.” Maude gave her friend a pleading look. “Just a little nightcap before we turn in. It’s been such a terrific day I don’t want to go to bed yet.”
Celia groaned. Her new heels were rubbing and her legs ached. She’d run into Maude after dinner as Celia had followed Bernard, his sulky daughter and her bland husband in the direction of the lifts. Maude had wanted to go to the theatre for a welcome aboard show and Celia had been happy to make her excuses to the brooding family group and go with her, but now it was well after ten o’clock and she felt exhausted. The excitement of her first cruise, the tension of watching for Ed around every corner, the new shoes, a huge meal and more drinks already under her belt today than she usually drank in a week left her ready to collapse into bed.
“Can I have a cup of tea?”
Maude put her hands on her hips. “We’re in a bar, not a tea room.”
Celia glanced around the dimly lit space. At least there were some empty chairs drawn up at the small tables. “Just a mineral water then.”
Maude pursed her lips but said no more and waved at a waiter who came immediately to take their order. They sat. Celia nestled into the comfort of the well-padded chair and discreetly slid out of her shoes under the table.
“What did you think of the show?” Maude asked.
“I enjoyed it. The singing and dancing were great.”
“I thought it a little tame but I did enjoy the comedian.”
“Yes, he was very clever.”
“This must be the seniors bar. Not many young ones here.” Maude had her back to the window. She was taking in the people around them rather than making eye contact with Celia.
“They’re probably all out on deck. Wasn’t there some kind of ‘dance the night away’ party happening?”
“I meant more our age. This lot all look to be over seventy.” Maude fixed her determined look on Celia. “We need to find you some action. That chap you were with earlier, he looked like a possibility.”
“Maybe.” Celia was saved from elaborating by the arrival of their drinks.
She had decided by the end of dinner that Bernard would indeed be the man she needed to cultivate. Of the two available men at her table he was the obvious choice. Jim had been a dull and gloomy presence. If she was going to snub her nose at her ex-husband it had to be on the arm of someone much more flamboyant and Bernard fitted that bill. He was good-looking in a flashy kind of way, obviously had money and liked a good time, but it had not come naturally to her to flirt with him. That’s what she needed Maude for.
That said, she did not want to hear more about finding a man tonight. Celia took a sip of her water and Maude her neat whisky. Celia was amazed at how much the woman could drink. She’d not seen that side of Maude before. She needed some sleep and time to work out how she could impress Bernard enough to want to be her escort when she was ready.
“Speaking of men.” Maude suddenly sat forward. “That reminds me.”
Celia braced herself for more of Maude’s prattle.
“I wanted to talk to you about the evening meal. Would you mind terribly if we didn’t sit together?”
“Why?”
“I’m at a table of six and there’s only one couple, the other three are gents.” Maude wriggled her eyebrows up and down and gave a silly giggle. “They’re all single and out to have some fun.”
“Oh.” Celia tried to look disappointed but she was actually relieved. The thought of sitting beside Maude each night while she fluttered her eyelids and giggled was not appealing. At her table at least there was a mix of people and no real competition for Bernard. The Ke
tty woman, who had presided over the table as if it were her own, had responded to his attention but Celia was several years younger. Staying at her own table would mean she could cultivate Bernard without worrying about Maude watching.
“We’ll still have plenty of time together,” Maude went on. “There will be breakfast and lunch and all the activities and shows. We’ve got that destination presentation mid-morning tomorrow and plenty of other things we can do together.”
“I’ve got an interesting group at my table as well.”
“That’s wonderful.” Maude’s hand shot out and grasped Celia’s. “Is that man you were with after dinner from your table?”
“Bernard?” Celia extracted her hand from Maude’s warm grasp. “Yes.”
“Lucky you. Any other possibilities?”
Celia thought about the other man, Jim. He was working towards retirement, lived in Adelaide and was a widower like Bernard. “There’s one other man but if the truth be known neither are my cup of tea.”
Maude sat back and studied her. “And what kind of man is, Celia?”
“I don’t know. And I don’t care. I’m here to relax and enjoy myself.” Celia hadn’t told Maude her ex was aboard or anything about her plan.
“For goodness sake, Celia.” Maude suddenly darted forward again and peered at her closely. “You’re divorced but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a bit of fun in your life. I’m not suggesting you have to find a man to marry.” She gave Celia’s arm a gentle nudge. “You’re on holiday, you can play you know.”
Celia had every intention of appearing to do so but she was never going to do more than that. Maude waved at someone behind her.
“There’s Pete,” Maude hissed, then waved again. “Pete, over here.”
A dark-haired man with a short pointy beard wearing a garish green shirt was heading their way.
Maude tugged on Celia’s arm. “He’s one of the chaps from my table. He said he might come this way later in the evening.” Her face widened in a large smile. “Pull up a chair, Pete. This is my friend, Celia.”
Pete swept an appraising glance over her and Celia pressed her hands to her lap to stop from putting one to her neckline as his gaze lingered there. “Hello, Celia.” He turned back to Maude. “I’ve come to see if you’d like to join us out on deck. There’s music and dancing. We’ve got a bit of a group together.”
Celia’s heart sank as Maude rose from her seat.
“Sounds like fun.”
Celia couldn’t believe it but she’d actually seen Maude’s eyelashes flutter up and down. She was quite sure she’d never be able to do that.
“Beauty.”
Maude giggled.
Celia was amazed that at fifty-three her cheeks could still burn with embarrassment. Already she was doubting her ability to play this single and available game if Maude was anything to go by.
“What about you, Celia?”
Pete’s question surprised her.
“Oh, I don’t—”
“You’re welcome to join us,” he said.
“Yes, come on, Celia.” Maude grabbed her by the hand. “Come on.”
Celia reached down to slip on her shoes before she was dragged to her feet.
“Beauty,” Pete said again.
Maude fell into step beside Pete who put a guiding arm around her waist and the two of them chatted like old friends while Celia trailed along behind. He pulled open the heavy glass door and immediately they were greeted by the thud of the music and the sounds of talking and laughter. The fresh outside air rushed to meet them as they stepped out onto the deck, which was lit with party lights and jammed with people making the most of the balmy night.
They wove single file through the crowd to a group gathered around some tables overlooking the pool below where Celia was amazed to see there were still people swimming. She did a quick scan of the area, hoping Ed wasn’t among the partying passengers.
“Celia?” Maude tugged on her arm again. She was introduced to several people but their names were lost in the noise. She simply smiled and nodded.
One of the other men immediately whisked Maude away to dance. Celia took a vacant seat on the edge of the group next to a woman. She appeared to be about Celia’s age, with a solid build and there was a walking stick hooked over the back of her chair.
The woman smiled and leaned closer. “Celia, was it? I’m Anne. My husband Pete and I are at the same dining table as your friend.”
Celia nodded and glanced across to where Pete was in conversation with another woman whose name she’d missed. By his behaviour Celia had assumed he was one of the single men Maude had referred to. At that moment, he placed his drink on the table, gave Anne a wave, then took the arm of the woman and headed to the dance floor.
“Have you cruised before?” Anne asked.
Celia turned back. “No, what about you?”
“This is our second. I find the first day a bit overwhelming.” She patted her leg. “And I’ve recently had a knee reconstruction so I won’t be able to get around as well this time. Pete will have to dance with someone else this cruise.”
Celia smiled and glanced across to where people were moving to the beat of the music, their clothes splashed with the bright colours of the flashing lights. Apparently, Pete had that under control already.
Anne began to talk with the woman on her other side and Celia sat and people-watched. She wished she could be as adventurous as Maude. Celia had always enjoyed dancing, and Ed had been good at it. But the last thing she felt like doing now was gyrating around the deck with a group of strangers. Maude was on the other side of the dance group and Celia could see she was now dancing with a different partner. Celia stared. The man wore a familiar green shirt. She stood and glanced around. The others were in pairs, heads close to be able to hear each other speak. No one noticed her slip away.
She went inside and down the stairs, jumping at every loud voice or closing door as she made her way towards her room. She was in no mood to run into Ed now. By the time she reached the little cabin she was wide awake again. A bulletin sheet outlining the next day had been deposited in the holder outside their door. She lifted it and let herself into the room where both their cases still lay open at the end of their beds and in front of each of their pillows sat a small wrapped chocolate. Maude’s case had items overflowing everywhere.
Celia ate her chocolate and set about unpacking her case. She neatly folded and rearranged until she’d only taken up half the cupboard space available. Her empty case slid under the bed. Next, she read the bulletin then she used the pages as a fan. The air in the cabin felt close despite the air conditioner. She needed fresh air but she didn’t want to be with the rowdy party she’d just left. Perhaps a walk around the promenade deck would help. She took her pashmina from the drawer, draped it over her head and shoulders, and let herself out into the long corridor again.
Outside, the sea breeze whipped her hair across her face and swept her pashmina from her head. She struggled with the silky fabric until it was firmly back in place and gripped tightly in one hand, then stepped up to the rail. Waves broke against the steel hull and whitewater foamed in a constant gentle hiss.
The heavy door swung open behind her. She froze. There was nowhere for her to hide here. There was a burst of laughter and a group of young men moved to the rail nearby with hardly a glance in her direction. This was getting rather ridiculous. She needed to work out where Ed was, make sure he got a good look at her enjoying herself, act all surprised to see him and then perhaps she could relax a little.
She moved further along the deck away from the noisy group, perched on the end of a deckchair and stared out into the inky night. Beyond the hiss and splash of the sea below, the giant motors hummed and a million stars glittered in the night sky but she barely noticed. All she could think about was Ed. Her ex-husband was somewhere on this ship and the bitterness that she thought she’d overcome bubbled to the surface.
She’d always wanted to
cruise and Ed had earned plenty of money but they’d never done it. Resentment had broiled inside her when she’d heard from her sons that their father was taking his new wife on this cruise. More than that, she’d been so angry she’d thumped her favourite mug into the sink with such force she’d broken it. Then she’d cut her finger on the jagged edge and blamed it all on Ed. With her finger wrapped in a bandage and feeling sorry for herself, she’d hatched her plan. After some subtle probing of her sons, she’d found the name of the ship, the date of the cruise and the destination. She’d been surprised the cost hadn’t been as much as she’d assumed but she needed someone to share it and that someone had been Maude.
Celia had suggested the trip over a few drinks at the end of a game of bowls. Of all the women at the bowling club who were free to accompany her, Maude had been the one who always flirted with the men. But Celia hadn’t realised how small the cabin would be. Sharing it with Maude for the next ten nights might be the end of their friendship; a bit hard to play a game of bowls if you weren’t speaking to your team member.
The voices of the young men grew louder again. Celia rose to her feet and began to walk in the other direction towards the front of the boat. The closer she got, the more dimly lit it became.
She was about to turn back when she noticed a shadowy figure against the rail further along. Someone was lurking there. Whoever it was leaned out over the rail. Celia wrinkled her nose; perhaps someone was being sick. Her heart rate quickened as the person put one foot on the lowest rung and the second foot on the next. Surely that wasn’t safe.
Celia glanced back behind her. The young men had gone and she could see no one else on the deck. She took another step towards the figure perched on the railing. It was a man, and as she watched he bent further.
“Hello.” Her voice was swept away by the breeze, lost in the sound of the waves and the engine. “Hello?” she tried again, moving another step closer.
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