Bernard felt a niggle of irritation as he took in Leo’s sour face. “It’s a shame Ketty’s not coming with us.”
“She has some jobs to do in town first.”
Leo came to a stop beside them. “I still don’t understand why someone who runs a couture dress shop in Sydney would bother with fabric from here.”
“Don’t be such a snob, Leo,” Josie chided. “Ketty said there are all kinds of gems to be found if you know where to look.”
“Are you sure her business is as good as she says?”
“I’m sure she wouldn’t have given herself any praise but I’ve been there and she has an outstanding business in the midst of similar establishments. There’s nothing fancy about her place but her work is exceptional.”
Bernard watched Leo’s expression change from cynical to calculating and gave an imperceptible shrug of his shoulders. Bernard could think of no reason to be interested in a women’s dress shop but each to their own.
“Ketty will catch us later.” Josie stood. “Let’s go ashore.”
She walked beside her brother and Bernard followed behind. If only Ketty would have agreed to come with them. Leo on his own would put a dampener on the day.
Seventeen
Jim stepped through the barrier that had been constructed at the land end of the wharf and straight into a chaotic barrage of men offering taxi deals. He’d been musing over the photo he’d just had taken, squeezed between a welcoming chief and his wife in traditional costume, and now he stood surrounded by men calling and waving at him. The humid air was full of the smell of lush vegetation mingled with the sweat of the closely pressed bodies. From behind him the ship’s sirens blared.
He stepped sideways then twisted round as a firm hand pressed against his back.
“Keep walking, Jim.”
It was Ketty. She slipped her arm through his and propelled him forward.
“Don’t make eye contact,” she murmured. “Keep walking.”
A man stepped in front of them, waving a laminated sheet of colourful scenes.
“No, thank you,” Ketty said brightly and side-stepped him, dragging Jim with her.
They were soon past the haggle of taxi drivers and among the stalls loaded with souvenirs set up either side of the road. Ketty let go of his arm.
She chuckled. “He who hesitates often ends up in a taxi he doesn’t want.” She lifted the brim of her big hat and peered closer. “Oh, unless you did want a taxi. How silly of me.”
“No, it’s all right, thank you, Ketty.” Jim squared his shoulders, embarrassed that he’d been rescued. “I’d been planning on a walk up the hill to look around. I was surprised by the crush, that’s all.”
“It’s quite different to catching a taxi at home.” She watched him closely. “It can be overwhelming when you’re not used to it. Anyway, I’ll leave you to get on.” Ketty smiled. “I’m taking a water taxi across to the town.”
Jim glanced around. He couldn’t see the water from where they stood. They were hemmed in by street stalls where brightly coloured sarongs and t-shirts depicting scenes of Vanuatu swung in the breeze. “Well…enjoy your day.”
Ketty had partly turned away but she stopped and looked back at him. “You’re welcome to share it with me if you like. I have some jobs to do in town then I plan to have a swim, and then meet some of the others from our table for lunch at a little bar on the beach.” Her lips only lifted in a brief smile but there was a warmth about the gesture that somehow reminded him of Jane.
They stepped to the side as a horn tooted and a car loaded with tourists edged along the narrow road.
“Maybe I will, if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.” She waved her hand in the air like a magician. “Follow me.”
Ketty stepped into a stall and wove around the tables and racks to the back. Jim followed her out through the canvas flap and found himself standing on a stone ledge above the bay.
“Taxi?” she called to the man who had several boats lined up along the rock wall below them.
He beckoned them down, then reached up and took Ketty’s hand as she went ahead of Jim down the rocks that had been fashioned as crude steps to the water’s edge. Ketty negotiated the price, gave the driver the destination then let him help her into the boat. Jim followed, feeling totally useless, and sat in the middle seat facing Ketty who was perched at the front. They motored slowly forward. She took off her hat and draped her scarf skilfully around her head and shoulders. She reminded him of an actress but he couldn’t think who. Jane was always better at the film trivia than he was.
Once they were away from the wharf the little boat picked up speed and his own hat threatened to blow from his head. He pushed it down firmly and held it with one hand. The fresh salt air was refreshing and the breeze cool on his skin.
“What kind of jobs are you doing, if I’m not being too nosey?” He had to raise his voice over the burble of the motor.
“Not at all. I like to check out the fabrics while I’m here. There’s often something a bit different. I don’t collect souvenirs but I like to spend some money in the town and the colours and prints are quite diverse.”
“Jane liked to sew and passed the talent on to our daughter.”
“You might see something you could take back for her.” Ketty pointed to some battered yachts on a bush-covered stretch of island. “They had a devastating cyclone here a few years back. The islands still haven’t fully recovered from the damage. I like to think if everyone on the cruise ship spends some money here it helps the local economy.”
Jim nodded. Ketty’s kindness extended beyond her fellow passengers. He sat back and sucked in the salty air as the boat sped across the harbour. Scooting along so close to the water was as near to pleasure as he’d felt in a long time. He stared across to the island they were passing where the bush had been cleared. A thatch-covered jetty extending into the water had a sign on it naming a resort. The vegetation was thick and deep green with the odd small grey roof hinting at bungalows below. Along the water’s edge were thatched huts built out across the white beach sitting over the ocean just like a travel brochure. If you wanted to lose yourself and forget, this would be the place to do it. He drew in another deep breath. If only he could.
Nigel’s sweaty body pressed against Celia’s in the back of the mini cab. She tried to ease away but she was jammed against the side of the vehicle on the other side. The only air conditioning was the wind coming through the wide-open windows and she welcomed the rush of air on her face and through her hair.
The driver had promised to show them sea turtles and that’s where they were headed but it felt as if they’d been travelling for ages. They’d left Port Vila behind and had driven through lush green countryside that gave way from time to time to more open vegetation where cattle roamed in knee-high grass, then the bush would crowd in on them again. Celia caught glimpses of life beyond Port Vila; shanty-style houses dwarfed by coconut palms with more cattle grazing among them, groups of laughing barefooted children, and women washing clothes on the edge of a river. Everywhere the colours were vibrant, so different to the dry yellow summer she’d left behind in South Australia. If it wasn’t for Nigel pressing closer trying to see past her, making foolish comments about some of the things he saw, she would actually be enjoying the ride. She cringed when he pointed to the huts they passed and repeated several times he didn’t know why people lived like that. The driver’s English was basic and she hoped he couldn’t understand Nigel’s ignorant responses to what he was seeing.
The vehicle slowed and turned off the bitumen road where it bounced along over a dirt track.
“Oh look,” Maude exclaimed from the middle seat of the van where she was equally as close to Pete as Celia was to Nigel.
They all craned forward to catch glimpses of brilliant blue and stark white through the bush. Their driver pulled up beside a gate and a sign with a welcoming message and sketches of sea turtles.
The driver expl
ained they needed to pay to enter and Celia was embarrassed as Nigel first complained that they were being ripped off and then insisted on paying for her. He put a guiding arm around her as they followed a sandy path towards the water’s edge. She walked steadily ahead to escape him and arrived at the water first. There were already people swimming in a protected enclosure and beyond them, the waves of the Pacific Ocean broke and pounded the shore in a constant roar. There was the odd call or squeal of delight and Celia realised the swimmers were sharing the enclosure with turtles.
“Would you look at that,” Maude exclaimed. “There really are turtles here.”
“Let’s get swimming,” Pete said.
They found a place in the shade of a thatched shelter to leave their bags. The others were in a rush to reach the water but Celia hung back. Unfortunately, so did Nigel.
“Are you going in, love?” he asked.
She gritted her teeth. When he used that word it grated on her very soul. “I’ll see.”
They walked back to the water’s edge. Maude and Pete were more intent on splashing each other. Freda and Bob were already under with goggles and snorkel. Celia put her toes in the water and nearby a small child and her dad fed seagrass to a turtle. She didn’t have to go in to see the turtles – she had a good view of them from where she stood.
“I’ll stay right beside you if you’re nervous.” Nigel tried to put his arm around her again but she bent down pretending to take a closer look at a passing turtle.
“I’m fine here, thanks.” She continued to study the turtle as it slowly drifted away. She knew Nigel would be looking at her with his imploring gaze. Guilt stabbed inside her but she really couldn’t rustle up the slightest bit of reciprocating fondness. “You go in.” She turned his way. “Tell me what it’s like.”
“Are you sure?”
He placed a hand on her arm. She edged away.
“Quite,” she said firmly. He shot her a hangdog look then donned his goggles and snorkel and stepped carefully into the water.
“It’s lovely in,” he called back to her.
She smiled and waved, watching as he adjusted his snorkel and ducked his head under, then she wandered on a bit further. The sun was very hot and she was glad of her hat and the sarong she’d draped over her shoulders. A large turtle surfaced between Bob and Freda, who was busy snapping pictures with her underwater camera. Celia knew she should go in but she had the awful feeling Nigel would use it as an excuse to get close. The thought of it made her squirm. He wouldn’t leave her alone for a minute.
She walked the edge of the enclosure, cooling her feet in the water then went back up to the shade and sat down. Last night she’d made a fool of herself but talking with Ketty had made her feel so much better. She would like to have gone to breakfast with Ketty and Josie but she no more wanted to be the odd one out there than here with the constant tension of avoiding Nigel and watching Maude play up to a married man.
Celia stood up, walked out into the heat of the brilliant sun again and made her way further along the sandy beach. What was she doing? Ketty had helped her to see that she didn’t need to pretend she was with a man to make Ed jealous and here she was dodging the attentions of another man. It was not how she wanted to spend the rest of this holiday. It was ridiculous behaviour. She wasn’t a silly schoolgirl who didn’t know her own mind. She had to tell Nigel – politely – that he wasn’t for her and she also had to tell Maude that she didn’t want to be paired up with him anymore.
Celia turned and retraced her steps. Nigel waved at her from the water. She gave a small finger flutter in return. She’d do it once they got back to the ship. It was such a relief to have made the decision and now that she was no longer bothered about proving something to Ed she felt so much better, stronger even, as if she truly was moving on. Ketty, who she’d thought to be rather a busybody at first, had proved to be such a help. Celia was surprised to think she was thankful to the older woman for her nosiness.
Ketty strolled beside Jim along the stretch of beach bordered by clear blue water. The sun was hot and there were few people on the brilliant white sand but several children played on a giant blow-up ball anchored just offshore. Conversation had been punctuated by their squeals and laughter as Ketty and Jim had walked the length of the beach and back towards the little beach bar, where they would meet Leo, Bernard and Josie.
Ketty was pleased Jim had stayed with her all morning. She’d taken him to the duty-free shops where he’d bought some jewellery and some alcohol, then he’d come with her a bit further out of the town to the strip of shops that sold bolts of colourful material. She’d enjoyed chatting with the women, some of whom had enough English for them all to understand each other. Ketty had bought several pieces of fabric that she planned to take home.
Judith would raise her eyebrows at them but Ketty had an idea, triggered by Josie’s vibrant skirt, that the bright designs would suit a couple of sketches Lacey had shown her recently. The young woman had tentatively suggested a different style of ready-to-wear range. Ketty had put the thought aside – it just wasn’t Ketty Clift Couture. But desperate times called for desperate measures and she realised now her young assistant had been cleverly urging her to experiment with the best of intentions. And perhaps she was right. Ketty owed it to her team to try something different and she was sure Lacey’s sketches would be brought to life by the talents of Tien, Ning and Birgit.
Many of Ketty’s clients travelled, quite a few on cruise ships like her. She had a shop full of ready-made, some of which had been there for years. Perhaps it was time for a clean out and she could try the addition of a unique line of holiday wear. It was that uniqueness that would retain the special for her clients. She would provide fabrics and styles only available at Ketty Clift Couture. It gave her a little glimmer of hope. At least it was a positive thought.
They’d drawn level with the umbrellas and chairs in front of the bar. Jim stopped and turned to her.
“Thanks for including me in your morning, Ketty. Being spontaneous – doing things like this – is not one of my strong points but neither would I have described myself as reticent or even fearful…until Jane died.”
Ketty studied him a moment. When she spoke, her voice was low and calm. “Losing someone dear certainly knocks your confidence. Especially if you’ve been together for a long time like you and your wife.”
“I wish we’d had longer.” He sucked in a breath and shook his head. “But you said you’d lost someone too.”
“Our circumstances are quite different. I was much younger. But there have been close friends since then, and my parents of course.” She put a gentle hand on his arm. “We all deal with grief differently, Jim.”
“This holiday has pushed the edges of my boundaries. I’ve been hiding myself away from family and friends at home. I hardly leave the house except to work, shop and attend the odd social function, though mind you the invitations have dwindled away. My daughter is the only person I see regularly, and she lives on the other side of Adelaide. I wake up every day expecting to feel better but I don’t. Today I’ve enjoyed myself and…” He closed his eyes and put a hand to his chest.
“Jim, are you all right?” Ketty shifted her hand to his shoulder. The colour had drained from his face. “Come and sit down.” She led him to a chair in the shade of an umbrella, eased his canvas carry bag from his shoulder and took out the bottle of water she knew he kept inside. “Have a drink.”
He took several gulps and the colour slowly returned to his face.
Ketty watched him closely. “What is it?”
He shifted in his seat. “Nothing.”
“Only you looked as if you were in pain.”
“I…it’s not my heart or anything. I’ve had all that checked out…I’m…I’ll be all right in a minute.”
Ketty leaned closer and lowered her voice. “Jim, we hardly know each other but I do hope you’d consider me a friend.”
He inhaled deeply through his nose an
d let it out slowly through his mouth. The light returned to his eyes. “You’re a generous woman, Ketty. You remind me of the counsellor I was seeing.” He looked away then as if embarrassed. “It was my daughter’s idea.”
“Did it help?”
“A little. Sometimes the pain is so severe it takes my breath away. It’s brought on by…well, anyway, the counsellor taught me some strategies to cope.”
Jim gazed out over the water. “Jane’s illness wasn’t nice.” He swallowed his voice, and it was little more than a whisper. “We knew it would be bad at the end. We had a palliative care nurse, the kids were there. I stayed by her side day and night but I felt useless.”
He turned to Ketty with a look of raw despair.
“Seeing my beautiful Jane fade away was the cruellest thing but I have accepted she’s gone. It’s the guilt I can’t shake. Every so often it overwhelms me. There were things I could have done better to help ease her pain. I let her down when she needed me most.” He put a hand to his chest again. “It gnaws at me.”
She reached out and put a gentle hand on his. “Part of grief is to blame ourselves, to ask the what-ifs, and it’s important to feel the pain of grief. You have to, and I know it hurts but it also heals. With the passing of time the pain doesn’t ache as much and getting on with life isn’t so hard.”
Jim nodded and turned his face seaward again. “I’ll be all right.”
“Yes Jim, you will be.” Her voice was firm and she gave his hand a quick squeeze before she let it go. Across the carpark she caught sight of a group clambering out of a taxi. “There’s Celia and her friends. I told them about this place. Would you rather some time to yourself?”
“No, I’ll be fine, Ketty, thank you. One thing I’ve discovered since I came on this holiday is that I’m looking for company again.”
“Good.”
Celia stood looking around, a little apart from the others. Ketty waved over Jim’s shoulder catching her attention. Celia waved back and wended her way through the tables to join them.
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