Celia closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her cheeks. Once more she felt Frank’s gentle hand on her shoulder.
“Christine’s back.”
Celia’s eyelids shot up. She searched the space between her and the door but there was no Jim, only Christine walking over to where they sat.
“No luck anywhere,” she said as she slipped onto the low couch beside Frank. “I even tried Ketty’s room again.”
“He’ll turn up.” Frank gave Celia another of his warm smiles.
“I don’t want to be an alarmist,” Christine said. “But if we can’t find him and Celia’s worried perhaps we should let someone else know.”
“You’re not going up to speak to the captain I hope.” Frank gave her a nudge.
“Don’t be silly, Frank, of course not, but someone at the information desk might let us know what we should do.”
“You really think we need to go that far?” Celia asked.
“I do.” Christine nodded firmly.
Celia felt a mix of relief and panic. Relief that they were going to get some help but panic that they were making a terrible mistake and Jim was probably sitting in a corner somewhere reading a book.
“It’s getting on for lunchtime,” Frank said. “You two go and talk to the people at the desk about what to do and I’ll check out the eating areas.”
Christine stood and waited for Celia to walk with her across the atrium floor to the information desk. It felt like a marathon rather than several steps. They waited for someone to be free to talk with them.
It was a smiling young man with Jesse on his gleaming gold name badge who called them forward. “How can I help?”
Celia opened her mouth to speak and croaked.
“My friend is concerned that someone is missing,” Christine said.
Jesse nodded wisely at Celia and asked her a couple of questions before directing them to wait. He left the desk and came back with another man in a white ship’s uniform. He introduced himself as Alfred, the ship’s purser. He came out from behind the desk and ushered them into the empty dining room. Christine sat beside her and held her hand while Celia explained how they’d planned to meet for breakfast and the big search she, and then the Romanos, had conducted.
Alfred asked lots of questions and noted the answers on the paper clipped to a board he carried. Celia was distressed when it came to a question about Jim’s state of mind. How did she answer that? In the end she said she thought he had appeared sad when she’d first met him, he had been a widower for two years, but she thought he’d been much happier the last few days and Christine backed her up.
Alfred suggested they stay in the dining room while he put plans into motion but Celia wanted to go back to the coffee shop. At least she could see people coming and going from there.
Christine offered to buy her another coffee.
“No thanks,” she said. “I’m already jittery. Another coffee would do me no good.”
“Tea then, or something cold?”
“No, I’m fine really.” But she didn’t feel it. It had been a relief to have Alfred take charge but now she was terrified. Her breaths came faster. He’d either find Jim or he wouldn’t, in either case she’d be wrecked.
They sat without talking, both of them watching the information desk for any sign of things happening, but the staff behind the counter continued to serve the passengers who popped by. There were no worried looks, flashing lights or sirens. Celia wasn’t sure what to expect but she thought she’d notice something different.
Alfred came from the door behind the desk and began to walk in their direction. At the same time, a man strode through the entrance to the atrium.
Celia leaped to her feet. “Jim!”
Alfred turned to look. “Mr Fraser?”
“Yes.” Jim only gave him a cursory glance. He waved at Celia and hurried towards her. “I’ve been rather worried,” he said and then looked embarrassed. “I was late going to bed and then I slept in. Breakfast was done by the time I came downstairs. I ran into Maude on the pool deck and she said you were up and gone before she woke up this morning. I’ve been looking—”
“Jim.” Celia said.
He stopped talking and looked at her then over at Christine, a small frown creased his brow. “What’s going on?”
“We thought you were lost.”
“Are you Mr Jim Fraser?” Alfred had joined them.
“Yes.” Jim’s frown deepened. “Is something wrong?”
“No, sir, but can you please all wait here?”
They watched as Alfred crossed to the desk and leaned in to talk with Jesse, then he came back to them.
“I’ve called off the search,” he said. “Let’s go into the dining room.”
It took Jim a while to explain what had happened. He was thankful Christine hadn’t stayed with them. He felt mortified that Celia had reported him missing. “I’ve been here all the time,” he kept saying. He’d explained how he hadn’t gone to sleep until the early hours of the morning and then he’d slept deeply, not waking until nine o’clock. By the time he’d reached the dining room there were no guests there and they were closing the doors. He’d tried her room with no luck and stupidly hadn’t left a note, thinking he’d find her somewhere around the ship.
And Celia, who was a constant shade of pink, kept apologising to him and to Alfred who was very good about it.
“These things happen from time to time,” he said, and when he was satisfied all was well he left them alone.
“I’m sorry.”
Jim took a breath. They’d both spoken at once.
“I’m glad you were looking out for me, Celia, but where did you think I would be?”
“I knew you’d be at breakfast if you could. I looked everywhere for you.”
“I spent a bit of time in the coffee lounge thinking you might go there, then I went up to the front deck on our level to watch for a while, then I took a walk on the promenade deck.”
“I looked in all those places.”
“We must have kept missing each other.”
“Everyone will think I’m crazy now.” Celia put her head in her hands.
Jim took her hands in his and gently eased them away. “Who’s everyone?”
“The purser, the staff who went searching, Frank, Christine…”
“I’m sure they admire you for being such a caring person.” He paused. “Was Christine looking for me too?”
Celia nodded.
“I saw her at one point up on the pool deck. I went the other way to avoid having to speak to her.” He shook her hands gently. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter now and surely we don’t care what Christine thinks?”
Celia looked up. Her face was blotchy and the strand of hair was stuck to her cheek again. “She apologised for her outburst and she was such a help to me when I thought…well, when I was looking—”
“It’s all right, Celia. I know you thought I’d jumped.”
“I didn’t.” Her eyes widened then her face crumpled. “Well, there was that first night but…”
“I’ll admit I was pretty miserable those first few days on my own but I was never going to throw myself overboard. I truly did slip. It scared the life out of me.”
She looked at him with such distress he reached forward and hugged her to him.
“I’m here,” he said. “Not in the Coral Sea.”
“This is all my fault.” Her words were muffled against his chest.
He held her back a little so he could look at her. “How is this your fault?”
“I truly like you, Jim but I understand you’re still grieving. I’ve been expecting too much of you.”
“You’re not expecting too much. Last night I did a lot of thinking.” He couldn’t resist tucking back that wayward strand of her hair. “Jane’s gone. She went so quickly in the end. The doctors told us we might have a year. It was barely four months. I felt so guilty.” He took a deep breath, about to admit something he’d never told anyone. “I pr
omised I’d help her, you see…if it all got too much. It did, but the reality of helping her to die was beyond me.” He sagged, his arms dropping to his sides. “It’s taken me a long time to forgive myself.”
The old familiar pain niggled and he took a calming breath. “We had a wonderful life together and my memories of her will always be with me, but being with you made me realise I’m ready to let her physical presence go. Last night I walked, I talked.” He grimaced. “To myself. I was exhausted by the time I fell into bed but I believe I’ve turned a corner. I slept deeply and woke refreshed for the first time in a long time. I’ve accepted Jane’s gone. I’ll always have the memories but this cruise has allowed me to make new ones. So many people have told me I’ve got to look forward instead of back. I wasn’t ready to listen, but something Ketty said on the beach at Port Vila has helped. She told me it was all right to grieve, to feel the hurt, and it was the hurting that brought the healing. I think she’s right. Grief is a terrible burden but eventually you have to set it down. I know it will never truly leave me but I’m ready to move on.”
Celia was looking at him with such trepidation he leaned forward and kissed her. Not for long but it was the warm touch of one person’s lips against another’s.
“Jim.” She cupped his cheek in her hand. “Thank you for trusting me. You’ve been through a terrible time and I don’t want to rush you. I’m happy that we’re friends. This cruise has been extra special because of you.”
“Ditto,” he said, and took her hand in his.
Thirty-six
Ketty made a final inspection of her stateroom. It now resembled the closest thing to a ladies’ boudoir as she could make it. She had cleared the desk of everything but the phone and hidden that behind a bowl of fruit. Plenty of room there for Josie to lay out her make-up. The top of the mirror was swathed in sheer fabric and inside that she had secured a small string of battery-operated fairy lights that were part of her cruising luggage. The stool and the chair were set up in front of the desk, each draped in one of her sarongs. Out on the balcony, room service had set up a small trolley for her, with champagne on ice and a selection of canapes. All around the room, wherever she could find a place, she’d hung gowns and draped wraps.
She looked down at the small shelf that perched beneath a second mirror outside the bathroom door. Here she had set out several strings of pearls in varying lengths, a variety of sparkling necklaces and a velvet box full of earrings. Nothing especially valuable but she’d acquired the jewellery on her travels, a reminder of special times. The scene was set for a happy few hours with Josie and Celia. She let out a contented sigh. This was what she loved to do: play with fabric, dress styles, colours and accessories. The soft sensation of silk between her fingers or the textured feel of lace, draping colours to find the perfect hue to highlight a complexion; it was all about inspiring the best in other women and gave her great delight.
She glanced at her watch. There was still time before the other two arrived to duck down and buy some chocolates to add to their afternoon nibbles.
Bernard sat opposite his daughter on the balcony of his cabin. Below and beyond the ocean stretched in every direction. It was deep blue today and ruffled by a strong sea breeze creating little white caps, reflecting his own unrest at the conversation he was about to have. He found the endless movement of the sea mesmerising but not today. He had decided he needed to sort things out with Christine or he would not be able to move forward with Josie, and he wanted that more than anything. He looked back at his daughter now. She was watching him steadily.
“Josie and I are good together. I’m tired of being on my own.”
“You don’t have to be, Dad. You could move back to Melbourne.”
Christine reached for his hand but he pulled away and he saw the surprise register in her eyes.
“When we get back to Brisbane Josie and I plan to keep seeing each other. We both need to find out if this is more than a holiday attraction. I want us to be able to do that on our own terms without your interference.”
Christine stiffened. He could tell she was about to speak but he got in first.
“You can say something to Josie but it will not be based on truth. I’ve told her everything so—”
“Have you included your dodgy dealings?”
He sighed. There was no easy way to silence his daughter. “I made a few mistakes but I didn’t do anything illegal.”
“Is that so? I saw the paperwork, Dad.”
“You may have seen the original document for that sale. I wanted Kath to be in on the deal but things were a bit rocky between us by then, and then when I found out—” His eyes narrowed as he looked at his daughter. “When you provided the information that Kath was already married…”
Her mouth dropped open. “Surely you don’t think I enjoyed that. You had to know.”
Once more he sighed. She was right but she had relished in the telling, knowing that he’d end the relationship. He’d have preferred to have found out for himself. Kept it quiet between him and Kath.
“Anyway,” he continued, “Kath reneged even though it was good business and nothing to do with our relationship. That document was never signed. Whatever you think you discovered, there was no substance to it. I put up my own money to buy the house you’re referring to and borrowed the rest. It did make a miraculous turnover but the profits were all mine. I didn’t diddle Kath out of anything because she didn’t invest in it.”
“You’ve done very well since.”
“Not by siphoning money off from wealthy women as you’ve suggested. It’s been through my own hard work and with my own money. I studied the markets, bought and sold at the right time, made practical improvements to properties, and I was lucky enough to reap the rewards. You can try to cause trouble between Josie and I like you did with Gloria and me, but you won’t succeed this time.”
Christine looked away.
“I know all about your meddling. I found out later how you wore Gloria down. You always rang when you knew I wouldn’t be home, filling her head with hints that I wasn’t being faithful, couched in concern for her. In the end she saw the scenes you painted even though there was no basis to them. That’s what broke us up. It wasn’t until a few years later after I’d been through a similar scenario with Kath that I ran into Gloria and discovered what you’d been saying to her.”
“She’s lying, Dad.”
He propped his fingers together and looked at her over the top. “I don’t think so. What would she have to gain from it?”
“To make me look bad in your eyes.”
A deep sadness thudded in his chest. “You’ve managed to do that all by yourself.” He was glad now he’d finally told Josie the whole story Christine had come up with. He’d explained about the proposed joint venture with Kath that had never gone ahead, and from that time he’d learned his lesson: never to advise or make joint purchases with the women he dated. He warned Josie it was possible Christine might try to make it sound as if he was being dishonest with his financial dealings but there was no substance to it and he had offered to let her accountant talk to his. Josie had dismissed the idea but forewarned was forearmed. “I’ve told Josie about your accusations. She believes my side of the story.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I love you, Dad.”
“I know. And I love you. So did your mother, maybe not in the way you wanted her to, but she did love you.”
Christine dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. Bernard was unmoved by her tears. Usually they would be enough to sway his resolve but not this time.
“And it’s because of that love that I spoiled you. I see it now. The more I gave, the more you wanted. It’s got to stop, Chrissie. You keep wanting more and more and none of it’s necessary. You’ve got Frank and the kids, good jobs, a home. Frank’s a dependable bloke and if he gets this new job I think you should follow up his suggestion of buying somewhere else. I might be able to help with advice.”
She opened h
er mouth but he held up his hand. “There will be no money from me for your renovations.”
“Dad.” The tears fell faster now, making dark mascara lines down her cheeks.
“I’ve thought about this a lot. If I were to drop dead tomorrow you would inherit a considerable sum of money and I’m worried you’d fritter it away.”
“Fritter?” Her eyes widened and she gaped at him.
“Because of that I’m changing my will. When I go, and I am truly hoping that’s a long way off, my remaining funds are to be split three ways.”
“Between who?”
“You and Lucca and Anna. Their share will be held in trust until they’re thirty. I know how tough the real estate market is for young ones now. I want them to have something, and I’m not sure there’d be anything left if you got it all.”
Christine was silent. She sagged back as if she’d been pricked by a pin and all the air had left her.
Bernard had said all there was to say. He wanted no further discussion about money. He reached for the bottle of white wine he had chilling in an ice bucket at his feet.
“I think we should have a quick drink, then I have to go.” He gave a small sigh. “I promised Josie I’d go with her brother to the horse race event in the sports bar.”
He was aware of Christine watching him closely as he poured. He handed her a glass. “All will be well, Princess.” He raised his own glass in the air and winked. Her lips turned up in a watery smile. “Cheers, big ears,” he said.
Celia flung open the door to her cabin and went straight to the wardrobe. She and Jim had talked for ages over lunch and now she’d be late for her girls’ afternoon with Josie and Ketty if she didn’t get her skates on. The bathroom door opened behind her and she put her hand to her chest.
“Maude! You startled me. I didn’t realise you were here.”
“I wondered if you’d moved out.” Maude’s voice was sharp in the little room.
Celia felt an immediate pang of remorse. She’d hardly seen Maude but for a quick hello or goodnight for days. “Of course I haven’t.” She turned back to the wardrobe and took out a plain white shirt that buttoned down the front. She hadn’t much of a clue what Ketty had planned but she knew there would be some trying on of clothes and thought it best to wear something that was easy to remove.
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