by Miasha
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing, nothing at all. Just let me freshen up,” I said as I walked toward the spiral staircase.
I went into the bathroom and changed into some lingerie I had in my overnight bag. It was a Victoria’s Secret satin pink and black bra-and-panty set that had a little flirty skirt attached. Beneath the skirt was a package taped in so tight it was almost invisible. Perfect, I thought. I slid my feet into my black feathered high-heeled slippers, took some deep breaths, and looked at myself in the mirror one last time before heading back downstairs to Michael and putting my life on the line. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous about having sex with Michael. I had risked my life with much more dangerous guys than him.
“Whoa!” Michael blurted as I walked down the stairs.
He had some slow music playing and the lights were dim. He was still fully clothed and had sat back down on the floor. I got on my knees and crawled over to him. He reached his arms out to grab me, but I moved them to his side and gently pushed him back onto the floor. I began to unbutton his pants and caress his manhood at the same time. He was aroused. He lifted his head slightly to peek at me while I performed oral sex. When he put his hand on top of my head to control my movements, I kindly removed it and placed it back on the floor. I wanted him to know I was in charge.
Michael had gotten nice and hard and was ready for the real deal. He got up from the floor and repositioned himself on the couch. He came out of all his clothes, throwing each article in a different direction. Then he motioned for me to do the same. I kicked off the slippers and removed my bra, leaving me in nothing but the skirt.
“Take that off too,” Michael said as he stared me up and down while stroking his penis.
I ignored him as I slowly approached and placed his hands on my breasts.
I jammed my tongue in Michael’s mouth, forcing him to take his mind off of the idea of seeing me completely naked.
“I want you,” Michael moaned.
“I want you too,” I moaned back.
“Then take me,” he said as he quickly slid his erect penis toward my middle.
I jumped back just in time.
“Michael,” I cautioned with a frown.
My heart was beating a mile a minute. I was having second thoughts about even continuing.
Michael sat up on the couch. “Come here, don’t back away from me,” he said, reaching for my hand.
“Let me handle this, okay?” I instructed as I backed away from him.
“All right, you got it, but I want to see that coochie,” Michael said. “Show me that thing!” he insisted.
I didn’t know what Michael was up to. I kept asking myself why was he so adamant about seeing what was in my panties. Usually guys just went with the flow, especially the first time around. Some head and a dominating woman were enough to keep them content. I had to come up with something, and I had to come up with it fast.
“Michael, I’m a virgin,” I said.
Michael laughed and replied, “Come on, Celess, stop playing.”
“I don’t believe in sex before marriage,” I continued.
“Are you serious?” he asked with a serious face.
“Yes,” I insisted, “and I can’t believe that a man like you don’t respect that.”
Michael sucked his teeth in disbelief. He looked away from me and reached for his boxers on the far end of the couch. I walked slowly toward him and grabbed his arm, gently pushing him away from his boxers.
I leaned over him and whispered in his ear, “But I hope you don’t think I got you all hot and steamy for nothing.”
I began to stroke his dick, bringing it back to life. It had gone down once Michael heard the word virgin. Michael just sat there, seemingly holding back. He sure wasn’t as aggressive as he had been. As I felt his penis rising, I started sucking it, slowly and passionately. Michael began to relax as he leaned his head back against the sofa. He had learned that it was best to let me run the show, as he kept his hands by his sides and gave me full clearance to do what I wanted to do.
I began to slide Michael’s slobbered-down dick up and down between my breasts. He was slowly getting back into it as he started pumping his waist up and down. I released Michael’s dick as it stood hard and tall.
“What now?” he asked, breathing heavily.
“You just wait there and let me lead the way,” I said as I turned out the lights completely.
It’s showtime, I thought. While walking back to Michael, I reached in the back of my panties and removed the tape. I quickly grabbed my package and brought it forward. I cuffed my balls and penis and held them in place, keeping them as close to the front as I possibly could. Michael could hardly see me, but just to make sense of things for him, I told him I was playing with myself. He was turned on and was so hard I don’t think he gave a shit what I told him. I systematically positioned myself on his lap while holding on to my privates for dear life. My heart was pounding and Michael could tell.
“Celess, are you sure you want to do this? I mean, if you want to hold out…” Michael whispered.
“Anal sex is okay, Michael. As long as my hy-you know, don’t get busted,” I said. I’d forgotten the name of the thing, or perhaps I never knew it-shit, I wasn’t a woman for real. But he knew what I was referring to.
“You don’t mind?” Michael asked. “Because I want you to be ready.”
“Shh,” I whispered. Then with my one free hand I slid his erect penis in my asshole.
“Just let me handle this. Keep your hands to yourself and no sudden movements,” I moaned.
“Whatever you say,” Michael moaned back.
I felt him quiver as I moved my body up and down on top of his. I got him. It hadn’t been easy, but I got him.
Michael and I finally had our moment, and I must say it was the most amazing sex I ever had. It was passionate and pleasurable. Granted, I didn’t have multiple orgasms like I had had with James, but one was enough with Michael.
“Surprise!” Michael shouted.
I opened my eyes and took a couple steps back. I looked up at the vacant building and read the sign. Less is Best Beauty Salon, it read. I was confused at first, but then it clicked-“Less” is me. This was my shop.
“Oh, my God, baby, you didn’t!” I yelled.
“Well, you said you wanted your own hair salon,” Michael said, smiling.
I jumped in Michael’s arms and hugged him tight. I was kissing him on his neck and cheek and lips uncontrollably.
He put me down and said, “Come on, let me show you the inside.”
He led me into the place. It was something out of a magazine.
“I designed it especially for you,” he said. “I incorporated a little bit of everything you like: the spiral staircase, the long mirrors, the hardwood floors, the built-in shelves, and the archway. Upstairs is a small flat. It has an eat-in kitchen and a lounge area.”
Michael paused and searched my face. “Do you like it?”
“Like it? Michael, I love it!” I cried, with my hands over my mouth.
My eyes were watering. I could not believe Michael did this for me.
“How did you do this? I mean, how did you find the time? Oh, my God, Michael, I’m speechless!”
“You know, it was funny, because I had been working on this place before you and I met,” Michael began as he took a seat in one of the styling chairs. “By the time we got together, only the cosmetics had to be done. And when you told me that it was your dream to open your own hair salon one day, I got a thought in my head. But of course I had to wait and see where we were headed, you know. The owner planned on selling it once it was finished, so after thinking long and hard, I took it off his hands,” Michael explained.
I shook my head, still holding my hands over my mouth.
“Once I paid him for it,” Michael continued, “I hired a group of guys to finish it up. We’ve been working on this day and night.”
“Baby, this i
s…I can’t even explain it. Words can’t say,” I said, wiping my eyes.
Weeks flew by. It had seemed like I would go to sleep on a Monday and wake up on a Friday. But I had no complaints, as all of my days had been filled with bliss. Michael was like a dream come true. I’d grown to love him, and with all that he’d done for me, how could that be a surprise? For the first time in years I had only been dealing with one dude. I was trying to take Tina’s advice and slow down. As far as my bills, I had found three stylists and a manicurist. The $2,800 they brought in each month helped out a lot.
I was home alone one day. Michael was in Pittsburgh working. After cooking myself some dinner, I made chicken Alfredo, a salad, and some Pillsbury bread-sticks. Thank God for the Foreman grill. It tasted damn near better than a restaurant’s. It filled me up too. I was sitting on the couch staring at the Guide Channel trying to find something good to watch. It was a Sunday, so I was bound to find something good on Lifetime.
Ring! Ring!
“Hello.”
“Hey, Celess,” Tina squealed.
I hadn’t spoken to Tina since last month at her wedding.
“Hey, Tina! What’s up, girl? How is the honeymoon going?”
“Oh, it’s beautiful, girl. We’re in Italy now visiting Derrek’s family,” Tina said.
“Damn, it must be nice,” I said.
“It is. And Brazil was nice too. But girl, ain’t nothing like Hawaii. It is so pretty out there. The sun, the water, the people, everything is pretty. Shit, even Michael would be pretty out there,” Tina joked.
I just laughed.
“Speaking of Mr. Tall, Dark, and Not-so-Handsome, how is that coming along?”
“Let me see,” I teased. “He opened me a salon,” I bragged.
“A bar?” Tina asked, disgusted.
“A salon, not a saloon.”
“A hair salon?” Tina screamed.
“Yeah!”
“Get the fuck outta here, you sprung ’im up like that?” Tina joked.
“I know right,” I continued to brag.
“So what else been up, miss?” Tina asked.
“Ain’t shit. I’m tryna decide if I’m gonna go to Power House on my lonesome,” I said with a playful attitude, wanting Tina to regret leaving me.
“Damn, that’s right. That concert is coming up, ain’t it?” Tina thought aloud.
Right then my other line started beeping. I was waiting for a call from Michael, otherwise I would not have answered it.
“Tina, hold on right quick. That’s probably my boo right now. Don’t hang up.”
“Hello.”
“Yeah, can I speak to Celess?”
The voice on the other line was deep but it did not belong to Michael.
“This is she, who is this?” I asked.
“Tariq. Do you remember me?” he asked with an attitude.
I rolled my eyes and returned the attitude. “Yes, Tariq, what is it? I have a call on the other line, long-distance.”
“This’ll only take a minute, trust me. I think you need to get tested for HIV.”
“What are you talking about, Tariq? I mean, really, I have somebody on my other line,” I said, totally oblivious to what he said.
“I was tested positive for HIV, Celess, and it’s only fair that I make the necessary calls to the people I may have infected.” He paused. “Or may have infected me.”
I held the phone to my ear but said nothing. I didn’t click back over to Tina. I didn’t want to burden her with some bullshit while she was on her honeymoon. I didn’t even respond to Tariq. I just sat there in dead silence, holding the phone to my ear. I heard Tariq saying hello. I even heard the dial tone that phones make when they are off the hook. But I still held the phone to my ear waiting-waiting for a voice to yell, “Wake up.”
“Beverly Hill.” The nurse called out the false name I gave her.
I stood up after first hesitating and followed the nurse through the door.
“Have a seat,” she said.
I sat in the chair that was placed against a wall. I looked around the small room. There were needles, plastic gloves, containers, and charts scattered about. There were brochures and posters on the walls warning people of HIV and AIDS. Chills went up my spine just from reading the information.
“Roll up your sleeve, please,” she said as she dampened a cotton ball with alcohol.
I began to do as I was told. I took off my jean jacket and placed it in my lap. Then I proceeded to unbutton the cuff on my blouse. I looked very plain that day. I was not flashy at all. I had my reasons, though. I was feeling down for one, and for two I was trying to be as incognito as possible.
“Understand that if the results of this test come back negative, we still recommend you get another test six months from now. This test will only show results as of six months ago, which means that if you’ve come in contact with the virus within the past six months it won’t show up in this test,” the nurse said as she dabbed my arm with the cotton ball.
“Whatever,” I mumbled.
I didn’t have an attitude. It was just that I was deep in thought. I kept thinking about all of my risky behavior and how that might wind up ending my life. My only worry had been dudes finding out I was a gay man. Never did I worry about getting AIDS, even though it was common among gay guys. But all the dudes I messed with were straight-well, most of them. Plus they were all clean and getting money. They weren’t scrub-ass corner boys who put their dick in everything. But come to think about it, that damn O had bitches around every corner and it’s no telling how many men he might have had. Shit, he was bound to have one dirty dick.
“You know, AIDS is not a death sentence,” the nurse said as she tapped my arm in search of a vein. “Many people are uneducated about it and therefore they’re scared of it. They’re scared to get tested and so they spread it-not intentionally, though, but they do it unaware that they even have it. That’s why, believe it or not, you taking the first step and getting tested is a good thing. It’s the best thing.”
“Ouch,” I said as she stuck me with the needle.
I had my face frowned up from the pain as I was looking at my blood fill the needle. The nurse removed the needle, stored the blood, and wiped my arm with an alcohol pad. She then placed a cotton ball over the tiny needle mark and taped it to my arm.
The whole time I sat silently thinking about Michael. What if I’d fucked around and given him some hot shit? It’s one thing for a trifling nigga to give it to me, but it’s a whole other story for me to give it to somebody, especially somebody like Michael. After all he’d done for my trifling ass, I thought.
“Make an appointment to come in for your test results in two weeks, okay?” the nurse instructed me, interrupting my thoughts.
“Yes.”
“Have a good one,” she said.
As I was leaving the clinic I noticed everybody looking at me with shame. It was as if they knew something I didn’t. They looked like they pitied me. The truth was I pitied them for having to live in a world with people like me.
October
“Say HO-OH! HO-OH! Say HO-HO! HO-HO!” the loud echo sounded.
Power House was the perfect place to celebrate my clearance. My test had come back negative and I wasn’t worried about that six-months shit because I hadn’t fucked Tariq within the past six months, so I figured I was cool. I was backstage getting nice off of Alizé red. I was sitting alone in a room with like a thousand groupies, some lucky fans, and a few lingering security guards. My eyes were burning from the thick weed smoke that filled the air. Rappers and members of their entourages would pass by occasionally and peep in. The groupies would go crazy, and it never failed that at least one would get gripped up by a big three-hundred-pound guard and get thrown out the door. I just kept my cool. I wasn’t after the rappers or their homies, anyway. I was after the promoters. Promoters were easier to get to and played fewer games. Tina taught me that it was the promoters who paid the entertainers, so
if anybody was holding, it was them. Plus, rappers’ heads were too swelled, so they liked to take girls on joyrides, and a lot of times girls ended up fucking for nothing except bragging rights. Not me.
“Where’s the bathroom?” I asked the big guard at the doorway.
“Right down the hall on your left,” he said, pointing in the direction.
I went into the bathroom to check my makeup. I was okay, but I needed to reup on my lipstick courtesy of the numerous cups of Alizé. I figured I would linger in the bathroom for a while until it was time to make a move.
Close to the end of the show, right before people flooded the hall, I approached this dude who was walking past me. His eyes were glued to mine even though he walked by swiftly.
“Excuse me.” I hollered out. “Where is the exit?” I asked as if I was lost.
“This way. Why?” he said, looking back at me.
“Well, if you lead, can I follow?” I asked.
“I’m not going to the exit yet, sweetheart,” he said hurriedly.
“I didn’t say you were,” I said, walking toward him. “Go ’head,” I said. “I can keep up.”
The guy raised his eyebrows and looked at the guy who was with him. I could tell neither of them was used to somebody like me coming at them, because I took them by surprise.
“I’m not no star, sweetheart,” the guy said with a chuckle.
“I can make you one,” I said, smiling.
“As flattered as I am, I have to turn down your offer. I’m in a rush,” he said as he started to walk away.
I heard the other guy mumble, “I don’t believe you turned that away.”
So I commented, “Some people already have it all.”
The guy stopped walking and turned back to face me. He shook his head. “You’re hurting me, sweetheart. Got damn, you are.”
“Just tell me when and where to meet you,” I said.
“Two at Four Seasons, suite twenty sixteen.”
I smiled and watched him and the other guy continue their brisk walk to the end of the hall. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure he was a promoter, but he was somebody, and my instincts were telling me to ride.