by Lily Harlem
“I don’t understand.”
Derek smiled kindly then stood, leaning his knuckles on the table in front of him and beaming around the room. His jowls wobbled and his face was red. He looked as though he was about to burst.
“I should probably explain to everyone more clearly then,” he said. “Shane Galloway is…” he paused and stretched his smile even wider, “is your new branch manager, and I hope you will all join me in welcoming him.”
Gareth muttered something under his breath, but I didn’t catch it because at that moment it was as if all the blood in my body had raced to my ears. I could hear my pulse pounding, thumping through every vein and artery in my head.
Shane was my new boss.
Oh, fuck.
Now I’d never be able to get him out of my heart. Never be able to get over him. Every day he’d be there, looking all drop-dead, heart-stoppingly gorgeous. No doubt he’d soon start dating the fabulously glamorous Dawn. No man could resist her, and I’d have to watch them fawn over each other all day every day.
As several people got up to shake Shane’s hand and congratulate him I mentally went through my contract. Was it a week or a month notice I had to give? I couldn’t be sure. But either way it shouldn’t take long to find another job. I had a good working record and Derek would give me a decent reference.
I grabbed my coffee and gulped. As I put it back down a little splashed over the side. Using the handkerchief from my sleeve, I mopped up the spillage.
“Shit, what does he have that I don’t?” Gareth muttered under his breath.
Opening my mouth, I hesitated. What could I say? Shane was doing a marketing degree, he had a photographic memory and fabulous acting skills. Not to mention a beautiful cock that tasted divine and fitted in my mouth and pussy perfectly. Or maybe that he knew how to manipulate the end of a shower attachment in a way that was truly sinful. I didn’t think Gareth wanted to hear any of those facts. I shut my mouth again.
“So,” Derek said, clamping a beefy arm around Shane’s shoulders. “I know I said I didn’t want a fuss, but I’m buying drinks tonight at The Cow and Slipper for all my wonderful team, so see you there about eight.” He squeezed Shane’s shoulder. “You too, young man, you too.”
I scraped back my chair and stood. Gareth had already left the room. He’d be pissed about Shane coming in and taking the top spot, but he’d get over it. What choice did he have? The problem was I wouldn’t get over it. Shane was here but he wasn’t mine. Last time I’d seen him we’d kissed, made love, laughed, talked of the future. No, I had no choice. My time at Safe as Houses had come to an abrupt end.
Grabbing my folder, I slipped from the room without another glance at Shane. I took the stairs instead of the elevator. I couldn’t bear the thought of making polite small talk with anyone.
Once back in my office I dropped my head in my hands and willed myself not to cry. How could this have happened? If only Dawn hadn’t played that stupid trick of switching my dress, I wouldn’t be in this position now. I’d have a hunky new boss, sure, but I wouldn’t have slept with him, I wouldn’t have had my heart broken by him. “Damn you to hell, Dawn,” I muttered.
“Ashley.”
I lifted my head at the sound of Derek’s deep voice.
“Are you okay, poppet?” he asked, stepping into my office.
I nodded and gulped down a sob. I would not cry.
“I know it’s a shock having a new boss,” he said. “Particularly Shane Galloway.”
“It makes no difference who it is, I’m just going to miss it being you.” I beat down a tremble in my voice. I wasn’t sure how successful I’d been when his face twisted sympathetically.
“That’s sweet of you to say, but I, er…know you like Shane.” He shifted from foot to foot and looked at the floor.
“Yes, yes, absolutely.” I nodded a bit too briskly. “I’m sure he’ll be a great addition to the Chelsea branch.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Mmm, are you upset about something else?”
“No, no, of course not.”
“You had no interest in the position, did you?”
“Oh, gosh no, I’ve told you lots of times, I’m very happy with what I’m doing, I like chatting to the customers and I’m not really qualified for the top spot anyway.”
He smiled, as if relieved. “Good, because I did tell Shane when he accepted the job on Christmas Eve to keep it a secret that he was being made branch manager. I know it will have put a few noses out of joint and I wanted him to have the element of surprise to cope with that, which I’m sure he will, admirably.”
“When did you offer him the job?”
“On Christmas Eve. He took less than an hour to decide and call me back.”
“Oh.” At least he hadn’t known that he was going to be my new boss when we’d been together at The Fenchurch. I turned to my computer and brought up my inbox. It was still jammed with flagged messages.
Derek sighed. “Well, as long as you’re all right, I’ll leave you to it. I can see you’re very busy. But will you come along tonight to The Cow and Slipper for a drink?”
“Yes, yes, of course, see you later.” No way was I going. I, for one, wasn’t some kind of masochist when it came to my heart and soul.
He left the room and I was alone once more. I prayed it would stay that way. That Gareth wouldn’t come blundering in gassing off about the position he should have had. I couldn’t cope.
In fact, sod it, I’d just go home. Today needed wiping out. I gathered my purse and coat. Flicked off my laptop and formed a lie about a migraine to tell anyone I met on the way to my car.
My desk phone trilled to life. I stared at it. Sighed. Picked it up.
“Ashley, it’s me.”
My jaw clenched so tight I feared for my teeth. “What do you want, Shane?”
“I need you to come up to my office, now.”
“I can’t.”
He hesitated. “Why not?”
“I’m going home.”
“You are, why?”
“I have a terrible headache. A migraine in fact.”
“You have, oh dear, do you want me to drive you?”
Is the man nuts? Get in a car with him!
“No, I can drive myself.”
“Well, do you have any medication?”
“Er, yes, I think so, probably something in the cabinet.”
The line was quiet.
“Ashley—”
“Shane, I have to go.”
“Come up to my office first, I need to speak to you.”
My stomach was tying itself in knots and I really was getting a headache now. “I don’t know what you can possibly have to say to me. I’ll forward all the information you need tomorrow, from home if I’m still unwell. My going won’t affect you at all.”
“Ashley, come to my office.”
I stared out the window—a crow squawked from the opposite rooftop and flapped its wings.
“Ashley, I’m not asking,” his said, his voice deepening “I’m telling.”
I sucked in a breath. “Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously, I’m your boss, now get up here this instant, I want to speak to you.”
I slammed down the phone so hard I hurt my hand.
Not asking, telling! Who the hell does he think he is?
Marching from the room, I headed for the elevator and rode to the fifth floor. I nodded a curt hello to head secretary Hilda, then found myself standing outside the heavy oak door of what was once Derek’s office and was now my ex-lover’s.
Straightening out my thin blouse, I tossed my hair over my shoulders, pulled in a deep, fortifying breath and knocked. The sooner this was over with the better.
“Come in.”
I stepped into the large wood-paneled room. Shane stood on the other side of a shiny mahogany desk. It was neat and ordered, unlike the way Derek always had it.
“Close the door,” he said, pushing to his feet.
I did as he asked then clasped my hands together, wishing they weren’t trembling and my breaths weren’t so rapid. Wishing for all the world that he wasn’t such a truly beautiful man.
“Would you like a drink, a glass of water?” he asked.
I shook my head.
He walked toward me, his pace fast and his strides long. Instinctively I took a step back. Shane had hurt me more than anyone else ever had. I couldn’t cope with him coming near me again. His smell and the heat of his body would only serve to increase my agony.
“Ashley?” He stopped in his tracks. Distress flashed in his eyes.
I shook my head and tightened my lips. “Don’t come near me.”
“But…but I can explain.”
“I don’t think so.”
He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Please, sit down, let me try.”
“I’d rather stand because I’m not staying long. I want to go home.” I walked to a long, low windowsill. Looking down, I realized just how high this office was—there were only rooftops, chimneys and air-conditioning units for neighbors. No windows to look in on him.
He followed me and I turned with a frown.
“Ashley it’s not what you think.”
“I might have been a virgin when we met, Shane, but I’m not stupid.”
“I know you’re not—”
“So nothing you can say can make it better. It must have been awkward for you to be offered this position after you’d made me another notch on your bedpost.” I jabbed my hands onto my hips. “But did it even go through your mind how difficult it would be for me to work with you?” My voice twisted with sarcasm. “Well, of course, that is if you could remember my name.”
He lifted his brows, creating crinkles in his forehead.
“No, I don’t suppose you cared did you, Shane? You were climbing the career ladder. Just look at this fabulous office and all the millions of pounds worth of contracts you’re responsible for now. What did it matter if you’d slept with the office mouse on her one weekend of bravery?”
“Ashley, I—”
“But don’t you worry, because I’m leaving. In fact you can take this conversation as my notice.” I stabbed his tie with my index finger. “I quit.”
His mouth hung open.
“I…quit.” I punctuated each word with another jab of my finger. “Get it? I’m finished here, as of now.” I spun and stalked to the office door. “Goodbye, forever.”
“Ashley, for god’s sake.” He wrapped his hand around my upper arm and twisted me to face him. “Will you just bloody listen?”
I gasped and drew in his sumptuous light aftershave. “Get off me.”
“Not until you hear me out.”
“You don’t need to explain. You wanted sex, I was there. But now that we’re back in the real world I’m of no interest to you.”
He grabbed my other upper arm and dragged me up against his body. My breasts pressed against his lapels and I could make out the solid muscle beneath. I shivered at the sudden erotic memory of our bodies pressed together hot and naked and sweaty.
“No interest,” he snarled, his black eyes boring into mine.
“Yes, no interest. You hardly spoke to me on Christmas Day and then you didn’t come at New Year, just sent me a lousy text. Well, I got the message loud and clear. Not interested.”
“I told you I can explain, but we’ll start with this so you hear what I’m saying loud and clear.”
He released my left arm, slid his hand down my spine to the hollow of my back and forced my pelvis into his.
I sucked in a breath. Beneath his smart suit pants his steely cock strained forward and bashed into my mound.
“I am interested,” he said, his hot breath washing on to my cheek. “More than bloody interested. I’ve been hard ever since I got in the car yesterday and made the journey down the M1 to start this new job, and do you want to know the main damn reason I took it?”
I gulped.
“Because, Ashley, you’re here.”
Balling my fists, I pressed them onto his shoulders. “Don’t say things that aren’t true.”
“It is true.” His face crumpled, as if he was in pain. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what to do. Derek called me on Christmas Eve and offered me the position on behalf of Ray Burgess. We were on the phone for hours talking through relocation, what it meant for me career-wise and what support structure would be in place.”
My legs felt weak, my stomach churned.
“But he told me in no uncertain terms that it had to be kept a secret. I wasn’t to tell anyone, least of all anyone here, at this branch.”
“But you could have told me.” My eyes were filling with tears, I could feel them forming on my lower lids.
“Ah, honey, don’t you see? They were testing me.” He gave a stiff shrug. “How could I fail that first test? The competition was tough for the job and I hadn’t even officially applied. It was going to ruffle feathers and they knew it.” He relaxed his tight hold but kept me wrapped in his arms. “On Christmas Day I’d put off ringing you because I knew you’d hear excitement in my voice. I wanted so badly to tell you but I couldn’t.”
I shook my head. “You were positively miserable, not to mention abrupt.”
“I’m so sorry, please forgive me.”
Forgive him?
He’d put my emotions through a spin dryer. I no longer knew which way was up and which way was down. How could I forgive him?
“Ashley, you have to understand.”
A tear broke its banks and trickled down my cheek. I cursed and twisted from his embrace, hunting out my now ragged, coffee-stained handkerchief.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said. “But I had no choice but to keep quiet. And I knew if I spent New Year with you, after a couple of drinks and well, you being you, I would have told you everything. I thought it best to just stay away.”
I spun to him, sniffing miserably as I did so. “Do you know what I’ve been through? To think that you mean something to someone and then find out it’s all a load of rubbish.”
“Yes, yes, I do know what that’s like. It’s a pile of shit.”
Folding my arms, I suddenly felt mean. Mandy had made him feel like that. And they’d been married. That had been so much more than a two-night stand.
“But perhaps we can put all that behind us now. Start anew.” He reached for me again and my traitorous body allowed him to tug me close. I couldn’t help it, he was irresistible.
“Honey,” he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “We’re so good together. Remember all the fun we had, how comfortable we were in one another’s company? I’ve never felt like that before, ever. We just clicked.”
Oh, he was good all right. He so nearly had me again.
“Shane,” I murmured on a juddering breath. “It hurt so much. I don’t know if I can just forget it.”
His eyes narrowed and I saw my pain reflected in them. “I’m not asking you to forget it, just forgive me and I will do everything in my power to make it up to you.” His soft lips brushed mine. “I will show you that you need never doubt me again.”
“But how will ‘this’ work?”
He grinned suddenly. “Well, it’s going to be a damn sight easier than when I was living in Huddersfield.”
“True.”
“Because then I thought I was going to have to spend half my wages on fuel each weekend coming down to London.”
“You would have done that?”
“Of course.”
Okay, he has me.
I reached up and kissed him. Pressed the whole length of my body into my new boss and delved my tongue into his mouth.
Eagerly he returned my kiss, pulling me tight and almost lifting me off the floor so just the tips of my toes pressed into the carpet.
“Oh, Ashley,” he murmured. “I’m not letting you go again. Watching you drive away from The Fenchurch was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
“So was driving away.” I kissed across his cheek, his stubble scratching my chin and lips.
“So don’t ever leave again. This is it, me and you.”
“Yes, me and you.” I felt my heart would burst with joy. After being shattered into a million tiny pieces suddenly it was back together again. Shane made me feel this way, only Shane. I’d waited so long for him to come into my life. I’d lost him and now he was back. I wasn’t letting go.
He spun me so my bum hit the desk. I shuffled up onto it, dragged up my skirt and wrapped my legs around his thighs.
“Ah, fuck, we can’t do this here,” he groaned, looking down at me with lust-filled eyes and pushing my skirt higher still.
“No, no, we can’t,” I said, tilting my pelvis so the gusset of my panties pressed on his cock through his pants. “Absolutely not.”
“But we do have lost time to make up for, New Year’s Eve.”
“Yes, lost time.” I shoved my fingers through his hair. “New Year’s Eve I’d planned an elaborate reenactment from A Mistress for Midnight.”
“Oh god,” he whispered. “Not the deserted train scene?”
I pulled back and stared at his face. I really hadn’t seen that coming.
He grinned, that cheeky, slightly wonky grin I adored. “In the last two weeks I’ve read every Margaret Rider book there is because you, naughty lady, have me well and truly hooked.”
Licking my lips, I smiled back at him. “So you fancied me sucking your cock on the Underground?”
His jaw visibly slackened. “Oh god, yes. You do that like no one else.”
“Want me to do it now?”
“Shit, no, Ashley, we can’t.”
I shook my head. ”No, you’re right, we can’t.”
His nostrils flared, a muscle danced in his cheek and his arms tensed. “I want to give you pleasure too. Can you wait until tonight for me to make love to you?” His voice was tight and strained.
My pussy was buzzing, weeping for him. I glanced at the heavy door. It was shut tight. “No. That’s too long to wait.”
“So what do you think we should do?”
“You remember the scene in Pounding Without Sound?” I asked.