by Lyssa Layne
Paul
She’s going on a date. I shake my head, trying to erase the thought. She’s going on a fuckin’ date… with her partner. If that’s not the worst idea I’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is. Pull it together, Jefferson, stop thinking about her. Exactly, I need to stop thinking about her. We agreed when we moved in together that we could never date each other. Mari had some train of thought that if we did date and things went south, neither of us would want to live in awkwardness and we both needed a roommate so it was obvious that dating was off limits. The whole roommate needed so that we could each afford rent in New York is why we moved in together after only meeting once.
I wonder if he’ll try to kiss her… Seriously, man, get it together! Sighing, I sit up and look around. I need to get out of here, it’ll be impossible to not think about her and Kade if I stay in the apartment all day. Besides, lying in her bed like I am right now is the last place I’ll get my mind off her. As though my shift at the firehouse wasn’t awful enough, I come home to this and I want to fuckin’ punch something which is why the gym will have to do for now.
An hour later and my mind still isn’t distracted from wanting to know Mariana’s every move but sweat is pouring off my forehead and my muscles have a dull ache from trying to max out on my weights today. My earbuds pour heavy metal into my ears and I just wish it was loud enough to divert my thoughts from Mariana but it’s not, even when it’s cranked up to the highest setting. Lying back on the bench, I move underneath the weight, ready to bench press my thoughts away. When I reach up for the bar, my hands touch someone else’s who has already beat me to it.
“Don’t you need a spotter?”
A pretty brunette smirks as she looks down at me. Her neon pink sports bra with her breasts overflowing does its job as I sit up and my eyes are instantly drawn there. I let my gaze wander up and down her body, impressed with what I see and thankful that I’m finally distracted.
“Yeah, I probably should, but I don’t quite think you’ll be able to help out.”
She lifts an eyebrow, sneering even more. “Oh, I’m sure I could help out.” She moves her hand to my chest, walking her fingers toward my shoulder. “I know your type… headphones in, music blaring, vein throbbing out of your forehead as you strain to lift something beyond your limit… all just to prove something to yourself or forget something… or someone…”
Any inkling of interest in her dissipates and I push her hand away, irritated that she’s right. “Yeah, whatever,” I mutter, starting to lie back down but her hand moves to my shoulder, squeezing it tightly.
“Be honest with yourself.” She leans down and moves her face right next to mine, dropping her voice to a whisper. “You’re cute and I won’t even ask for details. If you need a distraction from whatever it is that you’re trying to bench press away, I’ll gladly help.”
Then, as she finishes her proposition, she picks up my cross necklace, twirling it around her finger then dropping it as she turns to leave. I watch her tight ass sway as she walks away, still frustrated… at her… at Mariana… at myself. I look at the weights then back at her as she heads toward the locker rooms. Knowing I’m about to make a bad decision, I stand up and shake my head then walk in her direction. When I turn into the hallway for the locker rooms, I see her smiling back at me.
“I figured you’d change your mind,” she says with a wink, walking toward me and touching my bare arms as soon as she’s within reach.
I close my eyes, forcing myself to decide if this is a good idea or not.
“You’ve got some dope artwork,” she says referring to my tats and squeezing my bicep as she says that.
Not giving it a second thought, I open my eyes and press my lips against hers. I move our bodies so my hips have her against the wall and she moans as I grind against her. Her hands move to my hair, pulling on it as she drags her tongue over mine. I pull back and glance down the hallway, knowing we need to get out the public eye. Taking her hand, I pull it as I start to walk toward the sauna. I open the door and step to the side for her to go in first. She does but not without a giggle and a quick peck on my lips first. I shake my head, hating that fake giggle that girls do. Mariana’s never done that, hell she doesn’t giggle at all. When she thinks something’s fun, she lets out a loud, boisterous laugh that warms my soul and makes me do the same even if I’m in a bad mood. Mariana is real, not fake like this chick and all the others that try to get into my pants.
About to make a dick move, I look at the brunette, ready to tell her this is a bad idea, but when I look at her, her top is already off and she’s wiggling her hips to shed her pants. I sigh, knowing there’s no turning back. If nothing else, it’ll help erase my awful shift and the fact that Mariana is with another man instead of hanging with me. I step inside and close the door, pulling off my shirt as I do. The brunette doesn’t mess around, when I’m close enough to her, she pushes me down on the bench, straddling me as she takes a seat. Going after what she wants, she grabs my hands and places them on her fake breasts… unlike Mariana’s.
Chapter Six
Paul
The sun is shining, there’s a slight breeze in the air, and the smell of a freshly cleaned engine brings a smile to my face. Walking into Engine 58, I vow to myself to make this shift better than the last. I could blame everyone else for winding up on proby duty last time I was here, but if I’m honest, I know it was my big mouth that got me in trouble. Now, of course, I would never admit that to anyone, well, anyone except Mariana.
It’s no secret that I’m a cocky, arrogant asshole when it comes to everyone except Mariana. I can handle whatever I dish out to the guys but I’m not a fan of Mari dishing it back at me, especially when it comes to dating. It’s been over twenty-four hours since her breakfast date with Kade Sumerton and she hasn’t said one word about it. I don’t know if they hit it off and went back to his place to bone or if he ate with his mouth open and Mariana rolled her eyes at him the entire time. I’m secretly hoping for the latter although the former would make me feel less guilty about the sauna hook up I had yesterday morning.
“You gonna have a good shift or be an asshole again today?” Naj slams his locker shut as he asks me the question.
I smile, tossing my backpack on the bench. “No worries, Naj, I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“Good,” he mutters, not sharing the same sentiment that I do. “Somehow you wound up my problem and I’ve had to listen to Murph bitch about you ever since he sent you home early.”
I force my smile to be bigger although my stomach churns. I want to be the best I can be, the best in the department so it’s like a sucker punch to hear that my boss is ranting about me. I’ve got no one to blame but myself so all I can do is pretend like it doesn’t bother me and move on. Today is a new day, a fresh start to prove that I deserve to proudly wear the FDNY uniform.
Digging through my bag, Naj’s strong hand clamps down on my shoulder and he squeezes firmly. “With some of the older guys gone, I thought I’d turn over a new leaf and help you out… biggest mistake I ever made. Ask Doyle. I don’t like probys, I don’t like helping them, and I sure as shit hate babysitting them. Don’t be my mistake, Jefferson, understand?”
I gulp, still trying to keep the smile on my face but it quickly fades. As much as I want to be my best for me, looks like I need to do it for Salvador Naj, too. I don’t need to be on his shit list any more than I already am. Satisfied with my answer, or non-rebuttal, Naj removes his hand and exits the room. My legs are shaking like jelly and I drop to the bench, a bead of sweat rolling into my eye. Fuck if all my confidence didn’t just blow out the garage like the wind outside.
“What’s wrong with you?” Murph swings open his locker, barely glancing in my direction.
Picking up my jaw, I shake my head and shove my backpack in my locker. “Nothing, Murph, just ready to work and make everything right from the other day.”
He shakes his head, closing his locker before looking at m
e with the most intense stare I’ve ever seen before. “Your job isn’t hard, Jefferson. You come to work, put out fires, save lives, and be called a hero. Show up, put out fires, save lives, hero. Got it?”
I nod, my heart beating wildly against my chest. This is why I needed Mariana yesterday, to take my mind off work and tell me everything would be okay. Instead of brushing off my bad shift, I let myself get worked up over her date and stressed even more about doing a repeat from my previous shift.
“Good. Now head up to the kitchen and see how you can help.”
I make sure I’m out of the room before I sigh, frustrated at my proby work. It doesn’t make it any better when I see that it’s Naj cleaning up from the previous shift. Guys like Naj don’t wash dishes, they don’t do proby work, so I know this is his effort to be my mentor, although I’m quite capable of washing dishes on my own. Quietly, hoping he won’t notice me, I move to the back of the kitchen, putting away the dishes that are already dried. It’s only a matter of seconds before he’s aware of my presence.
“What’d you do on your day off?” Naj asks and I’m not sure if he’s interrogating me or trying to be friendly.
“You know, the usual… you?”
Naj hands me a pan to dry. “It’s probably safe to say that your usual is not my usual.” He turns his head in my direction, narrowing his eyes.”
Forcing a laugh, I shrug. “Yeah, probably. You’re married, right?”
A plate falls from his hands, splashing dirty dish water over both of us. “How long have we worked together?”
“Uh… um…” I stammer, knowing I fucked up again without even trying.
“Long enough to know that I’m not married and never will be.” Naj shakes his head, grabbing the towel from my hand. “You get the dish pan hands, I’ll dry.”
We trade places and neither of us talk as we finish up the tasks. Once the last dish is put away, I lift my eyes to Naj’s face, wondering if I can make it the rest of the shift, the next twenty-three hours without speaking to anyone. Surprisingly, Naj is grinning as he crosses his muscular arms and leans against the counter.
“How’s that girlfriend of yours?”
“Huh?” I mutter like a buffoon.
His smirk gets bigger. “That paramedic that you live with.”
“She’s not my—” I pause, catching on that he’s paying me back for the marriage comment. I shake my head, a smile touching my lips. “You know any medics?”
He shrugs. “I know my fair share.”
“Kade Sumerton?”
Naj’s eyes go wide and he shakes his head. “What about him?”
“Would you let your sister date him?”
Naj rolls his eyes, turning to walk out of the room. “I don’t have a sister, asshole. Do you know anything about any of your co-workers?”
It’s like a sucker punch when he says “co-workers” because in fire departments, the people you work with aren’t co-workers, they’re your brothers. Naj knows exactly how his words hit, it’s the lowest blow a firefighter could receive.
“Sorry, man, I knew that. I was asking in theory, if you had a sister, would you let her date Kade Sumerton?”
Naj chortles and shakes his head. “Not a chance in hell. Dude is a bad mother, if you know what I mean. Pretty boy smile, personality to go with it… makes it easy for him to hide shit.”
I narrow my eyes. “Hide what kind of shit?”
His smile disappears and he knows I want details. “That who your roomie is dating?”
“She had breakfast with him the other day. Tell me what you know.”
He shakes his head, turning to head down the stairs. Without thinking, I reach out, grabbing his thick arm and pulling it to get his attention. Naj stops and glances down at my hand touching him before he looks up at me.
“I’m not going to say shit and start rumors but if I were you, I’d tell your girl to stay the fuck away from Kade Sumerton. He’s bad news, Jefferson. If you talk to any girl he’s dated, she’ll tell you the same thing, but good luck finding one.”
My stomach drops, feeling worse than Naj calling my brothers my co-workers or even Murph yelling at me earlier. It’s bad enough that I can’t stand the thought of Mariana dating anyone else but it looks like she’s picked the worst in the bunch. Hopefully it’s not too late to save her… if it is, I don’t know that I’ll be able to save myself.
Mariana
My feet feel like a thousand pounds of lead as I make my way up the stairs to my apartment. My whole body aches from the very top of my head all the way down to my little baby toe. I haven’t slept in my own bed the last two nights and I miss it terribly, then again, I haven’t slept in the past two nights at all. I’d even venture to say I miss the person that always lies beside me, but I won’t tell him that. Plus, I’m not sure what that says about Kade since I’ve basically spent almost the past three days with him.
Digging my keys out of my purse, I dismiss that last thought, too exhausted to even let my mind go there and think about what that means. Breakfast went well enough with Kade to spend the rest of my day off with him and then work a full twelve hours alongside him as well. He’s handsome, he’s funny, he’s witty, he’s everything I’d expect him to be but… he’s not P.J. and I hate myself for thinking that. Paul Jefferson and I are not a thing and we never will be, so why am I letting them hold me back from fully jumping into this thing with Kade? He’s the first “good guy” I’ve dated in forever, look at P.J. as an example.
I finally get the door open and I’m so tired that when I step inside, I drop all my bags and immediately start to shed my clothes as I make my way to my room. My shift went an extra two hours so P.J. should already be home. I’m hoping he’s already asleep so that I can just curl up next to him and not have to answer five hundred questions about where I’ve been. Pushing open my bedroom door, I see that none of my hopes are going to come true today.
P.J. sits in the chair across from my bed, still dressed in his navy FDNY t-shirt and matching BDU pants, his fingers steepled as his elbows rest on his knees. Meanwhile, I’m walking into this verbal battle in my hot pink, lace bra exposed under my unbuttoned uniform. Luckily, my pants are still on or I’d feel a little under dressed.
“Where’ve you been?” P.J. demands and I’m not quite sure if he sounds more like my father or an overprotective boyfriend.
Rolling my eyes, I cross the room, shrugging off my uniform top and tossing it in the laundry basket. “Work,” I casually answer, digging through the same basket, looking for something to sleep in.
“Pft… yeah, I don’t think so. How was your breakfast with Sumerton?”
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. I love that P.J. has a taste of his own medicine. I grab a shirt and spin around to face him with a grin on my face.
“It was great but you know I love waffles,” I answer vaguely, avoiding what he’s really looking for. I pull on the shirt in my hand, reaching under it and unclasping my bra. I let out an “ahh…” as I free the girls and enjoy the moment of release. Unzipping my pants, I wiggle out of them and kick them off before P.J. can respond. I’m hoping if I crawl in bed, he’ll just follow and the conversation will be over. Sliding under the sheet, I hear P.J. walk across the room and I’m feeling hopeful that my plan might work.
The bed sags under his weight and I roll over, looking up at his face. His eyes are dark from lack of sleep although I don’t recall hearing over the radio many fires last night his engine would’ve responded to. He stares into my eyes and takes a deep breath, brushing my hair out of my face as he does. His hand runs down my arm, resting on top of mine before he speaks.
“I don’t want you to see him again.”
It’s like the wind is knocked out of me with his words. I wasn’t expecting that to come out of his mouth. Some kind of smartass remark, sure, but a flat out order of who I can’t date is completely out of line, even for P.J.. Pushing his hand away from me, I sit up, crawling out from und
er the sheet and standing up in the middle of the bed in the heat of the moment.
“Excuse me? What did you say?”
P.J. jumps up, shocked at my reaction. “Chill out, Mari. I don’t want you to see him again. I asked around about him and—”
“Whoa!” I wave my hands, interrupting him. “You asked about him? To who? Why? I didn’t ask you to do that. Besides, I work with him every shift, I’m pretty sure I know him better than anyone you talked to. AND, what makes you think you have the right to tell me who I can or can’t date?” My arms are thrashing about as my blood pressure spikes with each word that I speak. Paul Jefferson has lost his damn mind if he thinks he can boss me around like this.
P.J. jumps up on the bed, grabbing my arms and pushing them to my side. “I know you didn’t, Mari, but I wanted to make sure that you were in good hands. I asked around for me, not you.”
My chest heaves, and unfortunately, P.J.’s touch works its calming effect on me even though I’m still pissed. “Fine, ask around for yourself, but don’t drag me into it.”
“I didn’t plan to but then I found out how bad he is. I don’t want you to get hurt, Mariana, that’s why I don’t want you seeing him.”
There goes his calming touch, I jump off the bed, pacing the small bedroom space, trying to sort out the thoughts in my mind. When I walked into the apartment not more than ten minutes ago, I was so tired, I could’ve laid down in the hallway and passed out. Now, my adrenaline is racing so fast, I probably won’t go to sleep for another twenty-four hours. A thump brings me out of my thoughts and I look over to see P.J. is back on the floor beside me. He reaches for my waist, forcing me to face him. His hands move to my cheeks and he holds my head in place, our eyes locked on one another’s.