Life Is Not a Reality Show

by Kyle Richards

  I’m also big on belts because I like to wear flowing blouses, and pairing a beautiful wide belt with a flowing top not only creates a waistline, but also creates a statement: now it’s not just a blouse, it’s a put-together look. Sometimes I’ll use a really long chain necklace as a belt. Don’t be afraid to play around and do unexpected things. It’s all part of developing your personal style!

  You’ll see me in hats a lot too. I think hats are very underrated. A hat can almost be like a wig when you’re not having a great hair day or you want to be a little more private. But they can also be a great addition to your outfit. I like a black fedora with a blazer and jeans. Sometimes I’ll wear a cowboy hat or a straw hat in the sun. A lot of people tell me, “Oh, I can’t wear hats, they don’t look good on me.” But I bet they really haven’t tried. It can feel funny to have something on your head when you’re not used to it! But give it a shot. Sample different styles and give yourself time. This is one of those occasions when taking a friend to shop can be a good thing, because she might see how it flatters before you do.

  Finally, don’t forget one of your most important accessories—your hair. It’s a crucial part of your look. When designers show their new collections, they spend a lot of time making sure each hairdo is just right for the clothes they’re sending down the runway.

  For example, I wouldn’t want to wear a big, long gown and then wear my hair long too, because that would be overwhelming. Too much dress plus too much hair equals too, too much! I would pull my hair back for that, and that style has the advantage of letting you show off your face and your earrings, which can be quite elegant.

  On the other hand, if your silhouette is pared down or your outfit is more minimalist, hair that’s long or has a lot of volume can balance it out. Balance—there it is again! Obviously a style staple!

  Some hairdos can work with almost anything though, and we love those, don’t we? A ponytail is great because you can just as easily wear it to the market as to a black-tie event.

  Well, I’ve told you just about all the style secrets I know. Now all you have to do is go out and deploy them in your own individual way. Because individuality is the true essence of style!

  CHAPTER 11

  Mi Casa Es Su Casa

  Everyone says that my husband and I are the best entertainers, because when people come to our house they never want to leave. That’s exactly the way we want people to feel. We want them to be welcome and comfortable and so happy in our home they feel like it’s their home too. That, to me, is the essence of entertaining.

  You may have seen the episodes of the show where Mauricio and I throw our annual White Party. It’s a tradition we’ve had for a long time. We usually do it right around Mauricio’s birthday in June, and each year beginning in May, people start asking us, “When are you having the party? You are having it this year, aren’t you?” I love that everyone looks forward to it so much that they start getting antsy about it. To me that’s a huge compliment.

  I never say, “Oh, don’t worry, your invitation is in the mail,” because I hardly ever send invitations. Ha! I know it’s more fun to get an actual proper invitation in the mail, but I’m just not organized enough to do that. Since that’s not the way I roll, I usually send emails instead. Look, I’ve decided to do a party two days in advance and somehow managed to pull it together. Mauricio and I are good at doing things last-minute. If I had a bunch of time to plan my parties, I would drive myself crazy worrying about all the details!

  * * *

  My Tips for Being the Hostess with the Mostest

  » Always start preparing for a party by making a detailed master list of what you need. Then break it down by what you already have, what you’ll have to get, and where it will come from.

  » Make a list of what you have to do. Try not to panic!

  » Don’t stress about sending invitations. Being spontaneous puts people (and yourself) at ease.

  » Enlist your friends to help, and make it fun.

  » Have the stage set when your guests arrive: candles lit, flowers arranged, music on, fireplace lit (if you have one), and bathrooms polished to a high shine, with candles and fresh towels and flowers. Don’t forget the bathrooms!

  » Do as much work as you can ahead of time and keep things simple so you can enjoy your guests and they can enjoy you.

  » However, do make sure that dirty plates and ashtrays are picked up and whisked out of sight on a regular basis.

  » For a big party, hire help if you can.

  » When the party’s over, or you wish it were over because you want to go to bed, turn off the music. If people don’t get the hint, blow out the candles. If that fails, you may have to go upstairs and change into your jammies and come downstairs yawning. To tell you the truth, my problem isn’t so much getting the guests to go home; it’s getting my husband to leave the party and come upstairs. I burn out no later than 1:00 or 1:30 but he’s happy to keep things going until 4:00 A.M.!

  * * *

  And besides, when people know you’ve been planning a party for two months, that puts more pressure on. That is exactly what I don’t want. Mauricio and I strive for guests in our home to feel welcome in every way.

  Making people feel welcome—it’s the whole point of entertaining, isn’t it? And yet I’ve been to gatherings where I definitely did not get the sense of being welcomed. I bet you’ve had the same kind of experience. Like when you go to someone’s house and there’s only a little bit of food, so you feel scared to eat. It makes you uncomfortable and nervous.

  To me it’s the most basic of all the rules of entertaining: when your guests arrive, have candles lit and music on and flowers around the house. Provide an instant welcome. Make people feel that you’ve been eagerly anticipating their presence.

  Last night Mauricio and I had a bunch of friends over and we all cooked in the kitchen together. We had pasta with shrimp, garlic, and olive oil, as well as chicken and a cheese platter. Then we watched movies and had popcorn. We hung out. That’s what I want my home to be: a place where people hang out—and not just my kids and their friends, but everyone.

  At my daughter’s birthday party I had a petting zoo and a moon bounce and princesses walking around, and sang “Happy Birthday” in Spanish. People had a good time.

  Adults are just the same as kids, let me tell you. They want an environment where they can just let their hair down, be themselves, and feel free to have fun. If you use that as your guiding principle, no matter what kind of entertaining you’re doing, your guests will almost surely have a great time.

  With entertaining, it’s all about the vibe. Or really I should say vibes, because, no matter what, you want people to feel relaxed and comfortable, but you also want something to create atmosphere and energy specific to the kind of gathering you’re hosting.

  For example, with our White Parties, especially when we lived in our old house, which was very modern and had a huge backyard, we liked to go for a hip Miami club vibe. I love theme parties and I think other people do too; they’re a license to live it up.

  We make everyone wear white to the White Party. At first people are a little bit annoyed at being told they have to dress a certain way, but next thing you know everyone’s running around having fun looking for their outfit. It actually creates anticipation and excitement. And I’ve found that everyone looks beautiful in white!

  Then we set out a sea of white tablecloths and flowers and candles, with lights in the trees and a dance floor. The first year we even had mattresses and cabanas. We try to find that balance where it’s elegant, but people can still let loose.

  I also like to have a Halloween party every year, because that’s my daughter Farrah’s birthday. We do an open house, and all our friends come over with their kids and we all march out to go trick-or-treating at some point. I make macaroni and cheese and chicken fingers for the kids and lasagna and salad for the adults. And of course I always tell people to come in costume!

  Dec
or is just as important with a Halloween party as it is with something like the White Party. I would decorate for Halloween anyway! I start on October 1 and bring out these little sparkly beaded pumpkins I have and put them out all around the house. I have a witch with a cauldron, and I put dry ice in it so it looks like something’s brewing! I do a graveyard in front of the house with skeletons and tombstones. My older kids have begun making fun of me, but the younger ones still like it—and I know the adults do too! Grown-ups like having permission to feel like a kid again. That’s another secret to keep in mind.

  People appreciate when you’ve gone to a lot of effort for them. You want everything to be fabulous, ready and waiting for your guests when they arrive. You don’t want them to see you running around, panting and sweating, huffing and puffing, working to get things right. That’s liable to make them feel uncomfortable. They want you to be enjoying the festivities with them.

  Entertaining is a lot of work. Especially if you cook. I am not one of those people that finds cooking relaxing. Cooking for a party is a huge job. My God, all the chopping and prepping. (And as you know, I almost always fail to heed my mother’s advice about cleaning up as I go and end up with every pot and pan I own dirtied and strewn all over the kitchen!) NOT GOOD!

  But food is such a critical element at a party. Never underestimate it. The absolute worst thing is not having enough food. Nothing kills a sense of celebration like running out of food—or putting out so little to begin with that people feel they’re not even supposed to eat it. Mauricio and I always have tons and tons of it. There’s something so pleasurable about knowing, even on a subconscious level, that you can eat to your heart’s content all through the night. Or is that just me?

  The kind of food you serve matters too, of course, especially if people are going to be roaming around, maybe holding a drink in one hand and eating with the other. You don’t want people struggling with messy food or huge pieces they have to try to choke down in one bite! Women in particular will feel awkward and self-conscious about eating if there’s a chance something’s going to be hanging out of their mouth or crumbling everywhere. That is especially true if the cameras are filming you eat; take it from me!

  * * *

  French Country Flea Market

  When we bought our new house, we just moved around the corner. I had driven by the house many times and always wanted it. When it came on the market, it was like a dream come true! We spent a lot of time renovating it. My friend Faye Resnick, who’s an architectural and interior designer, helped us decorate it, and I learned a lot from her. I still have a lot to learn, but I’m getting there.

  It’s funny. People ask me for advice on decorating their house and I say, “Have a husband with a good eye and a friend who’s an interior designer!” My husband works with high-end real estate, so he’s very good about identifying a house’s assets and flaws. He knows when it has good “bones,” and he can see all the possibilities of what you can do with it.

  Our old house was great, in a kind of Balinese modern style. But we sold it furnished, so we had to start all over with this house and replace everything, down to the forks. This house is truly everything I’ve ever wanted. It’s done in a French country style, with distressed wood floors and whitewashed furniture. I wanted it all to be elegant but casual and cozy, kind of like something you’d see in the Hamptons, very fresh and clean. The walls had to be just right. White walls and stark white light bulbs are not conducive to feeling relaxed and comfortable. So I ended up changing the color of the paint on the walls three times. Faye and I drove my husband crazy! But we finally got it right: they have just a bit of a blush tone to them.

  I wanted to pick up on the blush and the grayish lavender, so we used touches of purple and blue as accent colors. I put out a lot of flowers in those colors, and I have a gorgeous purple crystal geode on my dining table—it’s supposed to be good energy.

  I’m not a professional like my friend Faye, but I do have my own decorating moments. I love to go the flea market and buy old things. My favorite pieces come from flea markets, because it’s so much fun shopping at them. I usually bring my girls, and I’m so proud and excited when I find treasures!

  One of the best things about flea markets is that you can get beautiful, stunning things for a fraction of what you’d pay at a store! Going to the flea market is a great, cost-effective way to decorate your house.

  You have to get up really early, usually on a Sunday, and spend the whole day shopping. We meet our friends and have lunch there, and then at the end of the day I leave with a truckload of stuff. My kids laugh because they’ve never seen somebody squeeze as much into a car as I can.

  During one of my recent flea market adventures I accumulated so much stuff that the kids were already laughing at me, and then I found a beautiful chandelier that was a real steal. By the time I got to it I looked like something the cat dragged in. I tripped and fell as I was trying to wheel all of my things to the car and flew over my cart! I actually think I broke a bone in my leg, because it’s still not normal. It’s my flea market injury. But I saved my chandelier!

  My kids said, “Let’s go and take care of your leg. Leave the chandelier and we’ll get it later!”

  I said, “No! No! Forget about my leg, I need instant gratification!” So I got the chandelier home.

  Buying stuff at a flea market really can save you money. But what I love most about it is bringing home things that have a memory attached, of fun times I’ve spent with my kids.

  * * *

  No spinach to stick in people’s teeth, please. No chicken wings, either—they look unattractive, for one thing, and your food should always look elegant. But wings are also messy. You need to have little delicious bites that people can pop in their mouths, like shrimp with sauce, small pieces of sushi, tiny meatballs on a toothpick, little goat-cheese pastries, sausage bites with Dijon mustard. And everything has to be really good! Oh my, that’s nonnegotiable! If you’re having a big party I also think it’s nice to pass the food on platters, because it makes people feel special and taken care of. They’re being served. If you can hire someone to help, you’ll not only be giving your guests the royal treatment, you’ll also free yourself up to swan around looking like the calm, collected hostess—and that makes your guests feel good!

  * * *

  Holidays

  We celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah at our house. We’d be happy to celebrate Kwanzaa too, because I love holidays! We always say, twice the holidays, twice the fun! But it can be challenging, especially when they fall close together on the calendar. I always decorate for both holidays, the red and green and Santas for Christmas, and the menorahs and lots of silver and blue for Hanukkah. One time a teacher from my kids’ Jewish school called and wanted to stop by. My kids were running around, “Mom! Oh no! Hide the Santas!” We couldn’t stop laughing!

  I believe it’s important for kids to grow up in a home that truly celebrates the holidays and creates traditions. I am a fanatic about Christmas. I listen to Christmas music from the minute they start playing it on the radio until the minute they take it off—to the point that my husband and kids are ready to kill me!

  I also totally do up the house. My mom always made a big deal about Christmas. My sister Kathy inspired me with all of her decorations too. She puts out so much stuff. I mean, she has a life-size Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus! You just walk in the door ofher house and instantly feel festive.

  I have a Santa figure reading to a little girl. And of course we get a big tree, and decorate with the family every year.

  At Christmastime, candles are especially important. They create a warm glow, both literally and figuratively, that makes it feel like the holidays. It's the same feeling you want to give guests any time they’re in your home. You want them to feel at home in your home.

  We have family over for Christmas Eve either at Kim’s or at my house, and then Kathy does the big dinner on Christmas night. And in between, Kim and Kath
y and I each do the huge present-opening ritual with our families. On Christmas morning we make a big breakfast. No holding back on calories during the holidays! I mean, that’s the time to have fun. So we have an omelet or scrambled eggs and cinnamon rolls. And bacon, of course! We’re Jewish but we do like to have crispy bacon—I’m not gonna lie! Normally I don’t eat pork, but at the holidays, all the rules go out the window!

  Holidays are special because of family. Family is part of what you celebrate.

  And that’s what entertaining is too. At least for me. It’s about sharing and celebrating with people you care about. Opening your home and honoring your friends and making them happy.

  * * *

  For drinks, it’s fun to create one special cocktail for the occasion that’s passed around, in addition to the wine and spirits you have set up as your bar. It’s another way to make the event special.

  At the holidays, for instance, I might do apple martinis with the glasses dipped in red sugar. It adds to the festive mood!

  Nothing does more to set the mood, though, than the lighting and the music. Mauricio and I went to a party the other night that was just boring. I asked Mauricio, “What was the problem there?” And then we figured it out: the lighting was too high and the music was too low. For a successful party, you’ve got to do it the other way around: low lights, which will be flattering to people, and music cranked up just high enough that it sends the message through your guests’ ears into their brains: it’s party time!