Spirit of the Wolf

by Vonna Harper

  There was nothing for her to do except go home.

  And take a long, hopefully calming, shower.

  Wash Matt’s imprint from her skin.

  8

  The sheriff rode the mare Matt had saddled for him as if he’d been born on horseback, which didn’t surprise Matt. After all, Bob had been born and raised in central Oregon, which meant horses were as much a mode of travel for him as a vehicle. Trotting alongside the man he’d known since not long after he’d come to live with Santo and Addie, Matt dug through his memory for the answer to how he’d learned to ride. One thing he knew, he hadn’t hesitated the first time Santo had encouraged him to get into the saddle.

  A few times he’d asked the couple he considered his substitute parents to help him understand why they’d taken a chance on a wild and half-crazy kid. As was his way when confronted with deeply personal situations, Santo had changed the subject. Addie had responded to his question with one of her own. Did he really want certain details?

  With memories of his father’s death pressing in around him, he’d said no. Better to keep those doors locked.

  “So you know Cat, do you?” Bob asked when they slowed their mounts to a walk. “I’d heard rumors the two of you were seeing each other, but I didn’t pay much attention to that kind of stuff. Believe me, I hear enough talk, most of it nonsense.”

  “I don’t know if you can call it seeing.” He went on to explain why he’d been at Cat’s place when Beale called him, at least the surface explanation. “We’d just finished looking at the photos I’d taken when Beale called.” Liar. “Because she’d seen what happened to my calf, she wanted to make sure Beale was all right.”

  “Can’t blame her. This whole thing with the wolves is a hell of a mess. Even before they migrated here, I knew there was going to be trouble. Not just this serious. I’m more than sorry it’s happening on your property.”

  “You’re not saying you’d rather someone else be in this mess?”

  Bob grinned. “There are a couple of . . . Seriously, of course not. Matt, for all intents and purposes, this is your spread and has been even before Santo’s accident. There’s Addie. She’s already had enough to deal with.”

  Staring ahead, Matt said, “I wish I didn’t have to tell her, but she’s going to be back soon.”

  “She’s like a lot of ranch women. Either the land’s always been more important than people or it just sucked up all her time. What I’m saying is, I don’t know how much of a support system she’s going to have.” The sheriff stared at Matt. “Same as you.”

  “Yeah?” he said, because he had no choice but to find out where the sheriff was coming from.

  “You’re a loner.”

  Knowing the sheriff had hit it right, Matt continued to study the land he loved more than he’d thought it was possible to love. Right now it was trying to tell him something, nibbling at his mind and messing with his thoughts. Crazy as it was to have such a notion, he imagined himself running predator-like over the acreage. He wouldn’t tire, would never grow bored. Hell, for as long as the land—had to be the land and not the other thing—touched his soul, he wouldn’t need anything else.

  Not even Cat.

  Except sexually.

  “What?” the sheriff said. “You think I’m wrong calling you what I did? Let me tell you something. This county might be spread out, but there aren’t enough people in it that I don’t keep track of everyone. Santo told me some about why you ended up living with them.”

  That belonged to the past. Had nothing to do with today, which, in part, was why he’d never said anything to Cat.

  “Given what happened to your old man, I wondered if you might have a bit of his whatever-you-want-to-call-it in you. I never saw any sign of it, except for the keeping-to-yourself part.”

  Dragging his attention off their surroundings, he faced the sheriff. “I appreciate your concern. I’m sure my old man’s story made for some crazy gossip.”

  “I wasn’t interested in that. Believe me, neither Santo nor Addie blabbed. Just gave me the basics once I explained I might need that information.” He nodded. “Good to see you turned out normal.”

  Normal? Thinking about how he’d plowed into Cat like some stud determined to breed, he wasn’t sure.

  Should he apologize to her? Maybe, but how could he explain his behavior when he didn’t understand himself?

  “No, there haven’t been any more attacks.”

  Cat had been on the way from her kitchen to her office with a bowl of cereal when the voice on the morning news program stopped her. Gripping the bowl, she stared at Matt’s image with his barn in the background.

  She hadn’t seen him for more than twenty-four hours and hadn’t heard from him either. No matter how many times she told herself he was beyond busy and concerned for his cattle and Beale, the silence still hurt. Of course, she could have gotten in touch with him.

  “Does that surprise you?” asked the reporter, a blonde who didn’t look old enough to be out of high school. “According to Fish and Wildlife officials, wolves will stay around a reliable food source.”

  “You’ll have to talk to those guys about that.” Matt’s words were clipped. “Like I said, my herd’s been safe.”

  Smiling up at her subject, the reporter did her best to get some decent sound bites out of Matt, but he continued to respond as briefly as possible. He wore a cowboy hat and had on his riding boots, which led her to wonder if he’d been about to leave the ranch when the reporter intercepted him. Looking somber, he said he’d gone to the hospital to see his hand when the doctor decided to keep Beale overnight for observation. Matt obviously wasn’t about to pass on anything he and Beale had talked about.

  Finally, the obviously frustrated reporter thanked Matt for his time. Matt nodded, then turned his back to the camera and walked away. As the woman explained that Beale had been released from the hospital but his whereabouts were unknown, she stared at the strong retreating ass encased in durable denim.

  The too-young reporter’s voice faltered. No wonder, Cat acknowledged, even as she imagined reaching through the screen so she could give the blond tresses a hard jerk. That masculine ass belonged to her. She knew what it looked like naked. About a week ago she’d nipped at and left scratch marks on his flesh.

  My man, she silently told the reporter, although the truth was, Matt didn’t and never would belong to her. He was his own man, an enigma in many respects, hard and hot and mysterious.

  As she ate cereal standing up, the scene switched to the Portland studio, where an older male anchor explained that Fish and Wildlife might hire a marksman to go after the wolves suspected of the attack. Both Fish and Wildlife officials and Sheriff Wilton warned people not to take things into their own hands. Matt’s land was private property, and anyone spotted on it would be arrested for trespassing.

  Knowing that what was happening hundreds of miles from Portland had reached the largest news organization in the state gave her pause, but maybe she shouldn’t be surprised. After all, people were drawn to stories of man against nature.

  Man. A single and solitary man who, from what she’d just heard, hadn’t seen or heard anything when he and the sheriff visited where Beale had been attacked.

  Or was that true? What if Matt had deliberately kept something from Sheriff Wilton?

  Many more trips like this, Cat thought, and she could get to Matt’s spread with her eyes closed. It was only a little after 10:00 a.m., but already what little dew formed this time of the year had dried.

  The take-no-prisoners weather, among a multitude of other things, was why her parents would never understand why she lived where she did. As soon as she’d declared she intended to use her inheritance from her grandfather to buy ten acres out of Lakeview, they’d insisted she couldn’t. She’d just turned twenty-one and was in her junior year of college. Surely she wasn’t thinking of turning her back on all that hard work and bright future in the family business.

  As a
matter of a fact, she was. Her naïve plan to make her own way in the world instead of burying herself in the business once she’d gotten the degree she’d never been sure she wanted had been tempered by reality, which in retrospect had been a good thing. While waiting for the land sale to become final, she’d rented a small house in Klamath Falls, which was nearly a hundred miles from remote Lakeview.

  That’s where she’d met and come to respect Helaku, the elderly Native American who’d once been responsible for hundreds of wild horses grazing on public land. After a scant five minutes of watching the lean, dark man handle the bucking stock at a local rodeo, she’d known she was seeing something special. If there could be dog whisperers, why not the same when it came to horses?

  Cat had thought she knew horses. Helaku, who she learned was a Paiute, taught her how to get them to open their hearts to her.

  Blinking back tears, she mentally went back to the last time she’d seen Helaku, which, to her dismay, had been nearly a year ago. Time and a long-battered body had taken its toll on Helaku’s regal bearing, and his eyesight wasn’t what it used to be. He still lived in the cabin he’d built by himself, but these days a nephew who lived nearby took him to town and helped with the chores, and a local woman cleaned and cooked every Monday.

  Helaku had bought himself a computer and, using two fingers, was writing down everything he’d learned from his Paiute grandparents. She had to see Helaku. Tell him about the cave she’d discovered. But first she’d take better pictures and blow them up as Matt had done with the prints. She’d ask Helaku if he knew what the drawings represented and get his opinion on the pros and cons of letting others know.

  Something just ahead and to the left caught her attention. Putting on her brakes, she turned onto the road to Coyote Ranch. So much for knowing exactly where she was going.

  Unless he was off doing whatever he needed to, she’d soon see Matt. Look at him. Remember how his leathered hands felt on her breasts and pussy. Trying not to hyperventilate, she slowed to lessen the risk of doing in her suspension system. Each bump jarred her sex. Moisture pooled, making concentrating on her reason for coming here even harder.

  Why, really, had she arranged to have a neighbor keep an eye on her horses today? What would she tell Matt when he asked what she was doing here?

  That she was scared for him when fear had never been part of their relationship?

  That she’d gone without his touch for too long?

  Matt stood with a hip leaning against a wooden fence and his cell phone at his ear, emotionlessly watching her approach. Seeing him surrounded by his world dried her mouth and sent fresh moisture elsewhere. He still had on the gray hat he’d worn during the TV interview. Then, except for the top one, his shirt had been buttoned. Now, as was his way when it was warm, the sun was free to bless much of his chest.

  Her legs threatened to fail as she climbed out of the cab and walked toward him. Much as she needed him to say something, she wasn’t sure she was capable of replying. Seeing Matt shouldn’t be this everything. This hard.

  “Figures, doesn’t it,” he said into the phone. “At least he didn’t get cut up too bad. Rope a heifer and he’ll follow her into the other pasture. Then you can get going on the repairs. Okay. Yeah, once you’re done.”

  “A bull?” she guessed when he put the phone back into his pocket. “What’d he do, try to take out a fence?”

  “Yeah, but that post needed replacing.” Lifting his hat, Matt ran his hand into his rich hair. “Always something.”

  Their time together had always been about itch scratching. In reality, she had only a general idea what his life was like.

  “I saw you on TV. It didn’t look as if you were enjoying yourself.”

  “I understand people like the sheriff and the government guy needing to know things. The other . . .”

  The fact that Matt was looking at the hills as much as at her concerned her. Was it possible he hadn’t been able to dismiss the wolf attacks long enough to concentrate on his job? Maybe that’s why he hadn’t gotten in touch with her.

  “Have you had to chase anyone off?” she asked. “Maybe some redneck hunters out for blood?”

  “No. Not so far.”

  “Maybe that’s because so many people are fans of wolves,” she offered when she wished there was no need for words. Action only. “They don’t want to believe what happened to your calf or Beale. Speaking of, how is he?”

  “He quit.”

  “Oh, no. I’m sorry.” Wondering if she had any right to do this, she touched Matt’s shoulder. “Did he say why?”

  Matt glanced at what she was doing, then went back to studying the horizon. “Scared.”

  “Of being attacked again? Of course he is,” she amended. Dropping her arm to her side, she tried to see what had captured Matt’s attention. “Maybe after he’s had some time to get over it—”

  “Maybe. Cat, I need to get going.”

  Don’t take off like this. “Of course. I didn’t mean to . . . I could have called. Should have.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  Why didn’t you? “I guess I needed to see you in the flesh. Reassure myself that the pressure isn’t getting to you.” He didn’t so much as indicate he’d heard her, prompting her to continue. “Where are you going? You told the reporter that your cows were all right, but maybe you were just trying to get her off your back. You looked tense the whole time you were on camera.” She paused, gathering what she needed to continue. “That’s what brought me here, wondering if you needed someone to talk to.”

  “Talk?” A smile lifted the corners of his mouth but didn’t reach his eyes. “That hasn’t been our priority.”

  “No, it hasn’t, but I’d like that to change.” Another pause. “And I hope you feel the same way.”

  She had to be mistaken, of course, but was that a shudder on his part? “Cat, right now I’m not sure what I’m feeling.”

  “About me?” The question scraped her throat.

  “About a lot of things.” Frowning, he pulled his cell phone out of a front pocket and read the display. “Addie’s been calling but not leaving messages. She’s not crazy about cell phones.”

  “Maybe she wants you to know when she’ll be back.”

  “That’s what I’m thinking.” The way he stared at her, she felt exposed all the way down to the juncture between her legs. “Have you ever been to Antelope Grove?”

  Relieved because he hadn’t told her something she didn’t want to hear, she said, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it.”

  “It’s on my land, the south end. Mostly aspens, moist in spring but dry now.”

  Excited by the prospect of getting more than a handful of words from him, she pointed toward where he’d been looking. “It’s out there?”

  “About four miles. No road.”

  “You have cattle out there? The hand you were talking to about a bull—is that where he is?”

  When Matt again fixed his attention on her, his intensity had her holding her breath. “None of my cows are—yet. I’m thinking of moving them there but not until I’ve checked out the area.”

  “Because of the wolves?”

  “Yeah. I don’t want to put them at more risk than they are now.”

  “Then you’re, what, going to be looking for tracks? Maybe antelope and deer carcasses?”

  “The possibility’s there.”

  A moment ago she’d been hoping to see passion and need in his eyes. Instead, he seemed to be trapped, a man facing something he wished he didn’t have to. It struck her that he might be questioning whether any part of his land was safe anymore.

  “Why today?” she asked. “With Beale gone and a stubborn bull on your hands, I’d think you wouldn’t want to add moving the herd—”

  “Cat, I get one paycheck a year. It comes when I sell the calves. Their lives mean everything to my livelihood.”

  “But you aren’t crazy about going to Antelope Grove. Don’t tell me you are
.”

  Straightening, he looked down at her. “You know me better than I thought you did.”

  Thank goodness for the wind. Otherwise, there might not have been enough air to fill her lungs. “Not well enough, but I’d like to.” That’s why I’m taking you up on your offer, if that’s what it was, not just because I hope something will happen between us.

  9

  He shouldn’t have asked Cat if she wanted to come with him. Damn it, he was a fool for risking exposing himself when he’d worked so hard to present himself as a man who had it all together.

  However, the truth was, nothing about him had been together for, what, maybe a month before wolves got to that calf. He’d sensed something. It wasn’t as bad as it had been watching his father splinter into tiny fragments, and yet the helplessness had felt the same.

  That and wondering what, if anything, would be left of him once it was over.

  Matt occasionally glanced at Cat, who rode alongside him, but mostly he kept his attention on the distance. As usual, Cat had pulled her hair into a single, thick braid, but maybe she’d been in a hurry because a bunch of strands had worked free. He wished he could run his hands over them, not that he needed the reminder of what that felt like.

  She’d gotten to him with her comment about sensing his tension during the TV interview, but had he really expected it to be different? After all, the woman had yet to meet a horse she couldn’t work with. Instead of relying on strength and sometimes stubbornness like he did, she got through to horses, even rank stallions, with instinct and intuition.

  Her knees were bent with her boots toed into the stirrups. Granted, he couldn’t see her thighs under her jeans, but it didn’t matter because he knew what they felt like wrapped around him. Even more to the point, his cock would never forget what being inside her felt like. Mind-blowing. Mind-killing. Hell and heaven wound together.