Mafiosa (Blood for Blood #3)

by Catherine Doyle

  ‘What a great feeling.’ My voice was entirely hollow.

  ‘You’ll get used to it, Sophie. Although,’ said Dom, gesturing at my face, ‘a word of advice? You look like you’ve been dragged through a bush backwards, so I would suggest you spruce yourself up a little before we move out.’ He twirled his finger around in the air, gesturing at my scowling face. ‘Give us something pretty to look at.’

  I swatted his hand away. ‘Once a dick, always a dick, eh, Dom?’ I stalked past him, making a beeline for the bathroom, my thoughts kicking into gear and whirring at a million miles a minute. Where were we going? And why had no one told me? There were no texts on my phone.

  I got dressed and packed up all my things like Dom had told me to. I didn’t have that much anyway, just one suitcase and a backpack. It was the day after Christmas, and I had never felt less cheerful. I still hadn’t come face-to-face with him yet. And I would have to, because he was in this house, too, and wherever we were going now, we were going together.

  I dragged my suitcase out into the upstairs hallway, pausing to take a breath. I hadn’t eaten in twenty-four hours and even though I felt more nauseous than hungry, my body was feeling the lack of nutrients.

  When I straightened up again, Nic was hovering at the top of the staircase. His hands were shoved into his pockets and he was leaning just a little on his right leg. His hair was coiffed and gelled in dark waves, and his eyes were bright. He looked incredible. Totally and utterly unaffected.

  I wanted to claw his eyes out.

  I reined my temper in, swallowed the threat of tears, and stood across from him with my chin raised.

  He nodded at my suitcase. ‘Do you need a hand with that?’

  ‘No, I’m fine.’

  ‘Are you sure? You don’t look so good.’

  Say it, I dared him with my eyes. Address it.

  He hesitated, a word caught on his lips. He pursed them and swallowed. ‘We’re leaving in half an hour. The drive is pretty long, so you might want to eat first.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ I said.

  He narrowed his eyes a fraction but didn’t contradict me. Coward, I thought. His bedroom wasn’t on this floor. There was no reason to come up here, except to talk to me, and now he was here, he wouldn’t utter a word about it.

  ‘Was there something else?’ I said tightly.

  He took a step forward.

  ‘Don’t,’ I said warningly.

  He stopped. His hands were still in his pockets. There were no circles under his eyes, no lines of exhaustion, nothing tugging at his features.

  ‘I had to do it, Sophie.’

  ‘Did you?’ I asked.

  ‘He was a threat. A Marino.’

  ‘So am I.’

  ‘No,’ he said, more firmly. ‘You’re a Falcone.’

  ‘He was my dad, Nic.’ My voice cracked. ‘We were just talking. He shot Jack.’

  Nic frowned. ‘He had to go. He was expecting it.’

  Rage surged inside me. I pressed it down, down, calming myself. ‘How could you possibly know that?’

  He had the audacity to hold my gaze. ‘You live by the sword, you die by the sword.’

  ‘You’re not sorry,’ I said.

  ‘I didn’t want to hurt you.’

  ‘Right.’ I gritted my teeth. ‘Well, that’s it, then. I don’t have anything else to say.’

  ‘Are you dismissing me?’ he asked, the ghost of a grin forming on his face.

  ‘Yes,’ I snapped. ‘I don’t want to look at you right now.’ ‘You killed Felice,’ he pointed out.

  ‘You know that was different.’

  He didn’t have an answer to that.

  He turned around, and then paused, one foot on the stairs. He looked at me over his shoulder, his voice hard when he said, ‘Do you forget sometimes, Sophie, that it was your father who murdered mine?’

  I came towards him, until there was just a yard between us. With acid in my mouth and fury raging in my heart, I kept my voice as steady as I could. ‘I suppose I forgot that your heart will always beat for revenge first, and love second.’

  ‘Unrequited love,’ he clarified.

  I gaped at him. ‘So you did it to punish me? You did it because I couldn’t love you back – the way you love me?’

  ‘I did it because Luca couldn’t,’ he said simply.

  I stepped backwards, away from his smell, his face, his eyes. It would take a long time to conquer this feeling of betrayal – no matter what logic dictated, no matter any of it.

  ‘We’re not at war, Sophie, you and I,’ Nic added. ‘I’m on your side, but you’re a Falcone now, remember?’

  He turned and thudded back downstairs, taking the cold, hard truth of the matter with him.

  My phone buzzed against my hip. It was a text from Millie.

  I’m at Evelina. Come outside.

  CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

  OUT OF THE DARKNESS

  Millie was leaning against the door of her car, arms folded across her chest.

  I jogged towards her. ‘What is it?’

  She slammed into me, and wrapped her arms around me so tightly I could barely breathe. ‘Oh my God oh my God oh my God, Soph, oh my God.’

  I held on tight, breathing in her Flowerbomb perfume. ‘I’m sorry, Mil.’

  She pulled back from me, a steadying hand on each shoulder. ‘It’s all over the papers.’

  ‘My dad—’ My voice broke off.

  She pulled me into another hug. ‘I know. I’m so sorry.’

  I didn’t realize how much I needed Millie until she was there, holding me up. All the pain and confusion and emptiness fissured, and the tears came freely.

  ‘Did you see it?’ she asked, pulling back from me. ‘Did you see who killed your father?’

  ‘Nic.’

  ‘God,’ Millie sighed. ‘Oh God, Soph, I’m so sorry.’

  ‘I’ll never forgive him. I can’t even look at him.’

  Her frown deepened, crinkling her nose and pulling her brows together. Her freckles were darker in the harsh winter light. It was so early still, and yet she must have been driving for hours …

  ‘How did you get here so fast?’ I asked her. ‘How did the paper come so early at the cottage? I thought you were in the middle of nowhere.’

  She frowned at me. ‘Don’t you know?’

  ‘Know what?’

  ‘Soph, Luca called me.’

  ‘L-Luca?’ I couldn’t grasp that sentence. ‘What? Why? When?’

  ‘Late last night,’ she said. ‘He told me everything.’

  ‘Why?’ I repeated. I had been busy trying to keep Millie in the dark and now she knew everything – and Luca had been the one to tell her. He had shattered omertà.

  Millie was looking at me with equal confusion. ‘Why?’ she repeated. ‘Because he wants me to take you away from here, Soph. He wants you out of the family.’

  He wants you out.

  The chasm in my chest peeled open again. ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘Yes, you do,’ said Millie. ‘You understand perfectly well.’

  There was a hint of scolding in her voice. I knew that beneath her sympathy and worry she was angry with me. I had been reckless. I had gone after something that was never going to cure me or make me feel better. I had lied to her. I had put myself in danger.

  ‘It’s a miracle that you’re still alive,’ she said. ‘You realize that, don’t you?’

  I nodded, barely aware of the tears sliding soundlessly down my cheeks.

  ‘Staying here is no longer an option.’

  I stared at my own scuffed Converse.

  ‘It’s madness,’ she said. ‘I’m not leaving here without you.’

  I looked at her again – I had never seen her so serious, so determined.

  ‘I’m pulling you out, Soph,’ she said. ‘You can come willingly, or you can come by your hair, but this world you’re living in is about to implode and this life is not for you. I know you know that. Choose to recogniz
e it. Please.’ Desperation broke into her last word. Her eyes were filling up. ‘Please,’ she said again. ‘Choose life. Choose happiness.’

  ‘I don’t know how, Mil,’ I whispered. The tears were falling freely on to my neck, sliding inside my collar and turning to pinpricks of ice.

  ‘Try,’ she pleaded. ‘Forgive yourself.’

  ‘I can’t.’

  ‘You can,’ she insisted. ‘Forgive yourself.’

  I shook my head.

  She grabbed it in her hands. ‘Look at me,’ she demanded. ‘There is no life here, Sophie. Only death. Only grief. You are more than your pain. You are more than your loss. You are more than your mindset.’

  I grabbed her hands and kept them in mine.

  ‘You know you have to go,’ she told me. ‘You know that, don’t you?’

  I did know. I knew the minute we left Donata Marino’s house.

  I nodded, slowly, reluctantly. ‘But where?’ I asked her. ‘I can’t stay with you, not while the Marino family are still active. The Falcones are moving to another safe house, and I don’t have anyone else. No one who would be willing to hide me …’ I trailed off, feeling nothing but despair. ‘I’m lost.’

  ‘You have to trust your father,’ she said firmly.

  ‘What?’

  She reached into her pocket and pulled out an envelope. ‘I stopped by my house on the way back from the cottage this morning. This was waiting for me. It’s a letter from your father.’ She thrust it towards me.

  I took it with shaking hands. My father’s last written words. And they were to my best friend. I opened the envelope and unfolded the letter.

  Millie,

  I‘m sorry to have to put you in this position, but you’re the only person I trust to deliver this message. With Celine gone, Sophie has tied herself to the wrong people. She is now an official Marino target.

  I expect soon I will be caught or killed. I know what I have to do. I am going to take the threat away from Sophie. Today, on Christmas Day, I will go to Donata Marino’s house and remove her from power. I will remove my brother too, and face whatever punishment comes with it.

  If I am unsuccessful, the Marino family will rebuild itself. In this case, I need you to send Sophie away. There is someone at the address below who will hide her until she is free to be herself again.

  Sophie trusts you more than anyone. She will listen to you. Please, keep her safe. Do what I couldn’t do. Take her out of this life, before it ‘s too late. Give her this address, and when it ‘s done, burn this letter and erase all traces of it from your memory.

  If she will hear it, tell her I ‘m sorry. Tell her I love her.

  You are the best thing that ‘s ever happened to her, Millie. Please take care of my girl for me.

  Be well,

  Michael

  ‘Did he do it?’ she asked, after I had read through the letter twice, the paper shaking in my hands. ‘Did he kill Jack?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said, trying not to fixate on the image in my head, still staring at his words. ‘I saw it.’

  ‘Then you can trust him.’ She tapped the piece of paper – the address of M Flores scrawled messily at the bottom. ‘You can trust this.’

  I took it from her, a frown twisting on my lips. ‘And what? I’m just supposed to go?’

  Millie nodded. ‘Yes, that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do.’

  ‘With what money?’

  ‘Luca will sort it out.’

  Bitterness swelled inside me. ‘Wow, he must really want to get rid of me.’

  ‘You know why he’s doing it,’ Millie said. ‘Come on, Soph.’

  I wiped a tear away before it could trace another line on my cheek. ‘I have to go,’ I whispered to myself. ‘I have to go.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Millie softly. ‘But I’ll go with you. I’ll take you as far as you want.’

  ‘No,’ I said firmly. ‘You can’t come with me. Not while there’s so much heat on me.’

  She grabbed my hand. ‘I’ll take you to the airport. I’ll wait until you get on the plane. You’ll call me when you get off. I’ll be with you every step of the way. And then, in a month or so, when this has all died down, we’ll sort something else out. You just have to lie low for a while.’

  ‘By myself,’ I said. ‘With a complete stranger.’

  ‘Better there than here,’ Millie said. ‘There will be no survivors from this, Sophie. You know that. Luca knows that.’

  I heaved a shaky breath, the paper still clutched in my fist. Was I really going to pin all my hopes on my father’s word? On someone I had never met before? Was I going to walk away from everyone I knew and loved?

  Yes.

  My mother’s voice inside my head.

  Yes.

  My father’s voice.

  ‘OK,’ I told Millie. ‘OK.’

  She reeled backwards. ‘Thank God,’ she said, passing a hand across her forehead. ‘I’m so relieved, Soph.’

  There were tears in her eyes now, too. She smiled – it was small and watery. She was pulling me out, and I could tell it was the only way. If I wanted to live – if I wanted to claw my way out of the darkness – I had to go with her. I had to crawl towards my light.

  And Millie was my light.

  ‘I want to say goodbye to him,’ I said. ‘I need to.’

  ‘Of course you do,’ she said gently. ‘Of course you can say goodbye.’

  I turned back towards the house. It felt bigger, colder, more remote. Inside, the assassins were swarming, ready to move again. I started walking towards it, towards the boy I loved. The boy who was locked up in the heart of this place. The boy who would go to his death with his family.

  ‘I’ll get your things,’ Millie said, following me up the driveway. We entered together. She went one way, and I went another, pushing my feet towards the Don’s office, towards Luca.

  Towards goodbye.

  CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

  NO RETURN

  Ishut the door to the office behind me, and kept my back pressed against it. Luca was already standing up, his arms crossed over his chest as he leant against the desk. He had dark rims under his eyes, and his shoulders were slumped. Only one of us had slept last night.

  Anger flared inside me, quashing the jarring need to cry, to reach out to him and beg him to think of some other way for us to be happy. My defences shot up, and I felt myself shutting down.

  ‘Your plan’s come off,’ I told him. ‘Millie’s outside waiting for me.’

  For a long moment, he just looked at me, his expression blank. Then he blinked, slow and heavy, and with a sigh, came his response. ‘Good.’

  ‘So you’re happy?’ I pressed. ‘You’re happy that I’m leaving? That you don’t have to deal with me again?’

  I knew I was being irrational but it hurt so badly, like a pinprick right in the centre of my heart, that he was choosing to send me away.

  ‘Sophie …’ Even his voice was tired. ‘Don’t twist this.’

  ‘I’m not twisting it.’

  He stood up, his hands dangling by his side. ‘You are,’ he said. ‘You know this is the way it has to be.’

  ‘We were supposed to do this together, Luca. For my mom, for Valentino.’

  ‘And look where that got us,’ he said, a spark of life flooding into him. He took a step towards me. ‘Look what happened yesterday. How much you lost. How much it hurt. Did it help? Do you feel happier now?’

  ‘It will take time,’ I protested, feeling the lie char my tongue. ‘I want to be in this with you. I want to.’

  ‘No!’ he said. ‘You don’t want any of this. You’re lying to yourself, Sophie. You’re lying to yourself and you’re lying to me.’

  My lip wobbled. I bit down hard on it. ‘Don’t tell me how I feel, Luca.’

  He splayed his arms. ‘Sophie, you’re so mired in grief you can’t possibly know what you want, or what’s good for you. You scream in your sleep, did you know that? You have all the signs of post-traumatic st
ress disorder. Your behaviour is erratic. You lose focus easily. You don’t even smile properly any more. Whenever you find yourself laughing you catch yourself or cover your mouth until it stops. I look at you and see sadness in your eyes. I feel it – this sense of wrongness, and it’s because I brought you here and made you think this was the way forward.’

  ‘You saved me, Luca. I had nowhere else to go.’

  ‘I was selfish, Sophie. I wanted you near me, but it’s destroying you, and I can’t justify it any more. I want the light to come back to your eyes. I want you to laugh and not worry about who hears you, to smile because you feel real joy.’ He chewed the inside of his cheek, pausing, and not quite looking at me when he said, ‘I want you to love someone who is worthy of your love.’

  ‘You are worthy,’ I said.

  ‘No, I’m not.’ He shook his head. ‘This is not the life for you. I’m only sorry it took me so long to do something about it. My grief made me weak. My love for you made me selfish. And I’m sorry.’

  I took a step towards him, but I could never bridge the gap now. It was stretching out like a chasm between us. ‘You wanted us to be together. I want that too.’

  He clenched his jaw. ‘No.’

  ‘Yes,’ I said, pushing myself closer to him. ‘That’s what we both want.’

  ‘I don’t want that any more. I don’t want you here.’

  ‘I can do it,’ I said, hearing the desperation in my voice. ‘I can do this.’

  ‘I can’t!’ Luca said. ‘Don’t you understand that, Sophie? I can’t do this. Not with you.’

  I faltered, the words tumbling back into my mouth.

  He raked his hands through his hair, pulling the black strands away from his face. His eyes were startlingly blue, his lips twisting as he spoke. ‘I am not strong enough to lose you. Not to this life. Not after Valentino.’ His voice cracked. He kept going, ignoring the tears as they slid down his face. ‘I won’t risk a loss that great again knowing I have the power to prevent it.’ He came towards me and I went to him, until we were right in front of each other, the truth between us. ‘If I lose you Sophie, I’ll lose my heart. There’ll be nothing left. I won’t survive it.’