by Marie Harte
Instead, she’d shared her good news with Vanessa and Maddie, who were thrilled for her. Well, Maddie at least. Vanessa had returned to being a disgruntled accountant and clean freak who rarely smiled. She also wasn’t speaking to Cam anymore. Abby had a bad feeling the silence was due to Abby and Brody no longer dating.
Though she’d been honest with her roommates about harboring no ill will toward Brody, Vanessa blamed him all the same. Apparently that animosity extended to anyone who sided with him. Even Flynn had borne the brunt of her aggression. But good-natured Flynn simply ignored her and took Maddie to his place more often than not.
Humming as she finished the last of her Christmas cards, Abby found her thoughts straying to Brody, as they always did. But she’d gotten smart, focusing on what she could control. She had taken to building herself up, not putting herself down. No more loser, fat girl, or lonely geek self-references. The new Abby was smart, successful, voluptuous, and pretty. She had friends, and she no longer hid the fact that she wrote erotic romance.
She spent the rest of the day doing chores and finishing her holiday gift list. Around six, the snow picked up again and the door opened.
“It’s just me,” Vanessa called as she trudged inside. Vanessa was working overtime to get a week off over the holidays. What the woman planned to do with it was anyone’s guess, because if Vanessa wasn’t busy, she was miserable. But Abby wanted her friend to get what she worked for, so she said nothing.
Abby leaned back over the couch to look down the hallway. “Hey, welcome home…Mom?”
“Oh. Did I fail to mention I have your mother with me?” Vanessa grinned. “There she is, as promised, Mrs. Dunn.”
Margaret smiled. “Oh, call me Margaret. You know you want to.”
Vanessa chuckled. “Yes, ma’am. I do.” She walked around Abby’s mother and slid her feet out of her muck-covered boots. “Margaret?”
“Yes, dear?”
“Please take off your shoes. This is a non-shoe house. Only way to keep it clean.” Same old Vanessa.
“Oh, of course.”
Abby stared, still not sure what her mother was doing thousands of miles from home so close to Christmas. “Is Dad here with you?”
“No, but Megan is in the car.” Her mother waited a moment, then burst out laughing. “I’m kidding. Your sister is a snot. She’s still at home nursing emotional wounds from your verbal darts.”
“Wow, Abby. She even talks like you.” Vanessa waved. “I’m hitting the gym. I’ll be back later. Oh, and Maddie told me to tell you she’s hanging at Flynn’s tonight and tomorrow night. So your mom can use her bed.” She darted upstairs.
“Mom?” Abby left the couch to give her mom a big hug. “What are you doing here?”
“I missed you as soon as you left, honey. Thanksgiving was a disaster.”
“I should apologize, but in my defense, Meg started it.”
Her mother sighed. “You know, I’ve been hearing that for years.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to ruin Thanksgiving. It’s just…Meg took something I’ve worked hard on for years and turned it into something dirty. And that’s not right.”
“I know, sweetie. In any case, what’s done is done. I wanted to come visit, because I haven’t seen your house since you moved. I left your father at home with the others, so I can only stay two days. You know what that man’s like when I’m not home.”
“Oh yeah. He turns into a mutant Mr. Fix-It. What did you leave him to do to distract him?”
“A faulty dishwasher. I want a new one, so I figure if I let him try to figure it out, I’ll get the machine I want next year.” She smiled. “Which is in about two weeks. Oh, Jack and Teresa have been by a few times. I really like Jack.”
“He’s good for Teresa,” Abby agreed.
They walked together into the kitchen, where Abby made them both a cup of tea. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but wow. Big surprise.”
“I wanted to tell you face-to-face how proud I am of you.”
Abby’s heart raced. “Really?”
Her mother smiled. “I was so shocked when you said you wrote books. Part of me was hurt you hadn’t confided in me. Then your sister kept talking about porn, and I was admittedly confused.”
Abby chuckled. “Teresa or Megan? Because Teresa likes what I write.”
“Me too. I read one of your books right after you left. And honey, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I don’t know what Megan was thinking to equate it to the adult industry. I went out and told all my friends about you, and now they’re all reading you too, the ones who weren’t already.” Her mother let a tear slip. “I’m so proud of you, and I’m sorry I disappointed you by not telling you so.”
“Oh, Mom. It’s okay.” Abby smiled, amazed at how great her holiday was shaping up to be. Her mother’s surprise visit didn’t completely mitigate her heartache over Brody, but it sure did help boost her spirits. “I’m sorry I sprung it on you like that. I’d wanted to tell you when I first got published, but I was scared you might not approve.”
“Oh bother. I know, there’s sex in the books. And as my daughter once said, there aren’t any virgin births in our family.” She grinned. “Your father read it too. He skimmed over the sex parts, or so he said. But he’s as thrilled as I am with your success. Honey, when I mentioned your name, a few of my friends knew who you were! Your alter ego, I mean.”
“Wow.” She felt ten feet tall.
“Anyway, I’m here for the next two days. I called Maddie and conspired.” Her mother winked. “She was busy, so Vanessa offered to pick me up from the airport. You have such wonderful friends.”
“Yeah, I do.” She lowered her voice. “But don’t tell Vanessa I said that. She already has an unhealthy ego the size of her monstrously large feet.”
Margaret burst out laughing. “Too funny. But she’s just as you described.” After Abby handed her mother the tea, her mom fiddled with the tea bag. “Tell me something.”
“Sure.”
“What’s this about you being in love with a man named Brody Singer?”
Vanessa chose that moment to enter the kitchen. She glanced from Abby to Margaret and turned around and left. “Gotta go,” she yelled from the hallway, and not two seconds later, the front door opened and slammed shut.
“Big mouth.” Abby sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“I know. Vanessa told me all about it.” Margaret smiled. “So in addition to her supposedly large ego, she has a big mouth. To match her big feet. I mean, wow. I didn’t know shoes came in that size.”
“For women,” she and her mother said as one. They laughed together. And then Abby tried to explain how she was doing her best to get over Brody. One day at a time.
***
Brody clenched the card in his hand and waited with Mutt outside a local coffee shop. They were both freezing in the snow, although Mutt liked the coat Brody had bought for him. An early Christmas present.
The past week had been fraught with thinking, feeling, and general pain-in-the-ass, unannounced drop-ins from the rest of his family—the McCauleys. Pop had stopped by to measure his living room for the new built-ins he intended to help out with. Mike had shown up in time to argue with his father about who was building what. Cam found time in his busy schedule to bring Chinese food and bitch about Vanessa, who was driving him crazy. That Brody could see the sparks flashing between the pair was a clear warning they were going to clash, and clash hard.
Flynn brought Colin a few times to play with Mutt and complain about Theo, though he also hoped his cousin would join the business, because he had promise. Even Bitsy made an appearance, wanting to bring Brody some home-cooked meals and talk about Seth, whom she’d met and liked instantly. Flynn innocently denied any involvement in the clan showing up, though Brody knew damn well he’d gabbed about poor old Brody.
> All in all, he’d had one hell of a busy “alone time.” It had been difficult at first, because despite his breakdown with Flynn, Brody wasn’t used to talking about his feelings. With the guys, they provided that presence, the untalked-about support, which he appreciated. Bitsy, on the other hand, had managed to drag all his insecurities out of him and gently chastised him for ever doubting his place in the family. She’d had a good cry about it too. Fortunately, he’d used up all his tears last week, so he’d been able to comfort her even as she read him the riot act for being so stand-offish. Then she’d forced him to confront his feelings for Alan, Jeremy…and Abby.
Alan he wrote off. He hated the bastard. But Jeremy… He’d told Bitsy what Jeremy had said and tried to figure out how it made him feel. In the end, he’d been able to identify reluctant curiosity, anger, and pity. With her help, he’d decided to crack the door open. No, he’d never be best friends with the guy. But he could offer some forgiveness. Maybe. If Jeremy begged for it on spikes, on his hands and fucking knees.
So he waited to meet the guy outside on the snow-covered sidewalk, still wondering if he’d made a mistake in reaching out.
He recognized Jeremy as soon as he turned the corner. To his bemusement, they really did look alike.
Jeremy lit up with a smile as soon as he spotted Brody. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
Mutt barked once but otherwise sat quietly. He and Brody had made tremendous progress, and ever since Brody had lost his friggin’ mind and poured out years’ worth of grief, the dog had become the most loyal creature.
“So you brought your dog. We going to get the coffee to go?”
“I thought we could walk and talk. It’s only snow.” Hey, if the guy didn’t like the cold, he could—
“That’s fine with me. The snow is light enough. Besides, all the Christmas lights are on—it’s pretty, actually.”
It was surreal, having a conversation with Jeremy that didn’t involve fists, drugs, or guns. Brody kept waiting for the guy to ask for money, but Jeremy paid for his own coffee after Brody bought his. They walked down a mostly empty Queen Ann Avenue and talked about Jeremy’s life since he’d had a crucial awakening.
To Brody’s surprise, it sounded a lot like the turning point Brody himself had gone through, realizing how he kept everyone at arm’s length, how he wasn’t worthy, how he’d never fit in the way he wanted.
They walked in companionable silence for a while, sipping their coffee while Mutt sniffed at everything within reach, enjoying the walk.
There was something to be said for dogs, who took pleasure in the simplest of things.
“So do you still hate me?” Jeremy asked quietly.
Brody drank his coffee, giving the question some thought. “I don’t think so. I still haven’t forgotten what you did. I don’t think I ever will.”
“I don’t expect you to.” To Brody’s bewilderment, his brother seemed to mean it. “I admit, I want your forgiveness, but I came to you and gave you my number because I wanted you to know that back then, the problem was me. Not you. And you shouldn’t have to bear that burden.”
“I don’t. Not anymore.” It was true. He’d been feeling better about life lately. Getting over his past had given him a sense of peace he’d been sorely lacking.
“I’m glad. I hated Dad for a long, long time. Some days I still do. I blame him for making me this way.” Jeremy paused and looked up at the sky, smiling. “But there’s too much good in the world for that. I mean, dwelling on him just takes me down, back where I don’t want to be. You know?”
“Yeah.”
Jeremy looked at him. “I’m focusing on the good. Trust me, I’m not all Pollyanna and shit. But why worry about crap you can’t change? I’m taking control of my life. It’s never too late.”
“Good for you.” Brody looked into Jeremy’s clear eyes. “You sound like you’re in a good place.”
“I am. You?”
“Almost. I’m just about where I need to be. I just have my own atonement to handle. And it’s not going to be easy.”
Jeremy gave him a rusty laugh. “Trust me, I know. Facing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. I know you don’t owe me jack shit, but I can’t thank you enough for seeing me.” They started walking again, no particular destination in mind. Just enjoying the crisp, snowy afternoon.
Brody had thought long and hard about what he wanted to say to Jeremy. All the hurt, the cycle of abuse, the heartache. “Jeremy?”
His brother stopped. “Yeah?”
“I forgive you. I still think you were a total shit for what you did, but I forgive you. Ever try looking at me the wrong way now, though, and I’ll kick your ass from here to Canada.”
Jeremy’s smile grew wide. “Yeah, I get you. You’re pretty big now anyway. No way I’d ever make a move on you, and not with that monster by your side.”
Mutt stared at the snow, grinning, his tongue hanging out.
After a few more blocks Jeremy said, “Merry Christmas.”
“Yeah. You too.”
They walked again, not speaking, and saying exactly what the other needed to hear.
Chapter 21
Brody had intended to get his apology to Abby over and done with so he could focus on making it up to her. But the next day when he knocked on her door, he found Vanessa at home alone.
“Damn. I was looking for Abby.”
The cool blond quirked a brow. “Were you now?”
He blew out a breath. He’d known this was coming. After Cam had told him what a pain in the ass the woman had been about Brody’s many grievances against her friend, he’d realized he’d have to battle her as well as Abby to earn Abby’s forgiveness.
“Look—”
“Save it.” She held up a hand. “Do you love Abby or not?”
“I do.” He didn’t have to think twice.
“Then prove it. That woman thinks the world of you. She’s gone out of her way to tell all of us to give you space. I wanted to chop your nuts off, but she insisted I leave you alone.”
He forced himself not to cringe. “Uh, thanks?”
“Her mom’s in town.”
“How’s that going? Because last time her mom gave her a lot of shit.” He worried. Had Abby been having a hard time, dumped on by him and her family?
Vanessa smiled, not her wolf-like, I’m-going-to-suck-the-marrow-from-your-bones grin, but an honest expression of happiness. “Her mom saw the light. She’s now Abby’s biggest fan.”
He relaxed. “Good. She deserves it.”
Vanessa’s joy faded. “Yeah, she does.” She poked him in the chest with a bony finger. “So unless you mean business, go back to being the funny blond doofus and leave her alone.”
“Wait. Doofus?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared.
“I can’t leave her alone. I tried. I miss her too much.”
Her tension eased. “Well then. What do you plan to do about it?”
“I think I know how to show her I’m serious, but it’s going to take a few favors and some wide leeway on your part.”
She narrowed her eyes. “What kind of leeway?”
When he explained, she groaned. “Oh my God. What I do for you people in love.”
***
Saturday morning, after Abby dropped her mother off at the airport, she drove home in a much better mood. But as she plowed through the snow and listened to Christmas music, a familiar melancholy settled over her.
“Oh, Brody. I miss you.” Part of her knew she never should have gotten involved with him. Things could only have ended badly. What did she expect? That, like her gorgeous, successful roommate, she’d find love with the perfect man?
No. Stop thinking that way. Reverse. She forced herself to be positive, even though her heart felt like it had
gone three rounds with a kangaroo in boxing gloves and lost. “I had a wonderful affair with a sexy man. He gave me orgasms. Many, many orgasms. We had fun. Don’t regret it, Abby. You deserved that sexy happiness. You are capable of it.” She wondered if she should phone Rick when the holidays ended.
Glumly, she knew she wouldn’t. She didn’t know if she would ever get over Brody. And there was still that slim chance he might change. She couldn’t give up on him just because he’d given up on himself. Then she had to ask herself if she was hanging around only to fight a losing battle.
Abby sang along to Rudolph and Frosty and forced herself to think instead about her new series, excited to put Del—er, her tough mechanic—in tune with her feelings over a stubborn man who refused to open himself to love again. Brody. Or Mike, as she’d started thinking about them. Del and Mike—they made a nice couple. Though her readers would soon be introduced to them as Selena and Chance.
She sang and envisioned her characters having a snow-covered, intimate Christmas together. Abby planned on finishing decorating the house. She, Maddie, and Vanessa had found a tree they liked at a nearby tree farm, and Maddie had coerced Flynn into setting it up for them the other day.
The three of them had appointed Abby head decorator, so as soon as she built her Christmas spirit back up to snuff, she intended to spend her weekend decorating the tree and the house, readying for Christmas in just a few days.
Before she could head home, she realized she had forgotten Vanessa’s lengthy grocery list. With a groan, she turned the next corner and made her way toward Whole Foods, because God forbid she didn’t buy organic.
An hour later and a hundred dollars poorer, with only two bags to show for it, Abby wrestled the groceries into the car and headed home. Before she arrived, her phone rang.
She pressed a button on her car. Hurray for hands-free, especially in this snow. “Make it quick. I’m driving.”
“Oh good. I caught you in the car. Say, where are you?”
“Hello, Vanessa. Why yes, I did get your expensive vegetables. You owe me.”