by Deja King
"I'm in high school, Azar," I admitted, knowing he would eventually find out anyway.
"I figured that. Give me the time and address. I'll be there." After giving Azar the information he kissed me on the cheek and drove off. I was stunned at how cool he was. Although I knew Azar was only nineteen, I wasn't sure how he was going to take dealing with a fifteen year old.
When I opened the door to the apartment, some funky looking nigga was stumbling out. I looked him up and down and my moms said from the couch, "Oh, he was just looking at your bedroom. He's a potential tenant."
"That won't be necessary, you'll get your damn money," I said, slamming the door on the bum. I then walked to my room and slammed the door again.
The next day after school I rushed to get outside to meet Azar. I was looking forward to going shopping. When I reached the entrance to the school I was startled when Ja mal approached me. I hadn't seen him in a couple of days.
"Where have you been, Precious? You haven't come over to study lately."
"I know, Jamal. Our studying is over. I learned everything I needed to."
"So just like that it's over?"
"Jamal, it never started. I told you from jump that I needed your help to prepare me for this boy I was interested in. Well, now he's interested so we done."
"Precious, wait," Jamal said as he grabbed my arm.
"Nigga, you betta get the fuck off me. Who you think you grabbing on?" I was burning a hole through Jamal. He was out of line putting his hands on me.
"Precious, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to grab your arm. I guess I miss you."
"Miss me? Jamal, we ain't in no relationship. It is what it is. We both got something out of it; now it's time to let it go. I'll see you around."
When I walked off, I knew Jamal was watching my every step. He must of felt some kinda way when he saw me get in the car with Azar. But that wasn't my problem. He knew there were no strings attached. It wasn't my fault if he caught feelings.
Once again Azar headed towards the bridge when I got in the car with him. "You really love the city don't you?"
"You said you wanted to go shopping. I'm taking you to the official stores so I can lace you right." I looked at Azar in shock. Never did I think we would go shopping in the city. I figured he would take me to Macy's at Kings Plaza, and I was excited about that. So when we pulled up to Saks 5' Avenue, my jaw dropped. Me and my girlfriend Inga used to talk about what it would be like to shop in a store like this. Never did I believe the day would actually come that it could.
"Damn, Azar, I ain't neva been in Saks before."
"That's why I'm glad you made the suggestion I take you shopping. If you gonna hang wit' me, yo' shit need to be tight. Your style is a reflection of me. The chick in my passenger seat gotta be on point."
That was hot. That must have meant Azar was planning on keeping me around for a minute. I smiled at the thought.
For the next week, Azar and I spent all our free time together. He would pick me up from school or from my job. Then we would either go out to eat, to the movies or just kick it at his crib. We still hadn't fucked, but Azar didn't seem to be stressing it. Before I knew it the first of the month had rolled around and I didn't have a dollar to my name. When Azar took me shopping, I swear he dropped three G's on me like it was nothing. But he still hadn't put cash money in my hands. It was true I hadn't asked for any, but still he never offered. After spending the day together, I knew I couldn't roll up in my moms' crib without her money. My hands were sweaty as I built up the nerve to ask Azar for the grand. I had to admit that we both seemed to be feeling each other, but I still didn't know just how cool we were. I kept thinking about what Boogie said. It's not what you ask, it's how you ask.
"Azar, I need you to do me a huge favor."
"What is it, Ma?"
"I know you took me on that fly-ass shopping spree, but I'm in a bit of a bind. My moms is stressing me to help her with her bills. I'm dead-ass broke and I was wondering if you could help me out." I held my head down the whole time I asked because I didn't want to see the look in his eyes. For all I knew, he could say to himself that this straight gold-diggin' bitch ain't getting a dime from me.
"How much you need?" he asked calmly.
"A thousand," I said, still looking down.
He pulled out a wad of cash and started counting out hundreds. He handed me the money and said, "Don't ever be afraid to ask me for nothing. As long as you're dealing wit' me, we cool. I got you."
Walking up the stairs to my apartment building, I counted the money Azar gave me and realized he gave me an extra fifteen hundred dollars. This dude had me straight tripping. I couldn't believe he was treating me so good and I hadn't even fucked him. I knew he was paid and the money he hit me off with was nothing to him, but still he didn't have to give it to me. The moment I walked through the door my moms was waiting with drool basically coming down her mouth. She was so thirsty for her money. I decided to fuck with her just to see how thirsty she was.
"You got my money?" she asked all common like.
"I need more time. I couldn't get it."
"I figured yo' silly ass wouldn't be able to come through. You been spending all that time wit' that boy and you can't even get no money outta him. I went in yo' closet and saw all those designer clothes he bought you. You betta take that shit back and get my money."
"I can't do that, I don't have the receipts."
"Well then go pack yo' shit up and get the fuck out my house. Go stay wit' that nigga you been fucking."
"You would really put your own daughter out on the street."
"You damn right."
"You really are a no good whore," I said as I tossed the ten hundred dollar bills to the floor. "Pick that shit up like the thirsty bitch you are." I went in my room, locked the door and blasted my music. My moms was truly a simple-ass trick. For the first time, I had to admit to myself that I was ashamed to be her daughter.
For the next few weeks, Azar and I grew closer and closer. One night when we were chilling at his crib, I decided that since he was never making a move on me, I'd have to do so. "Azar, do I look good to you?"
"Why you gonna ask me a silly-ass question like that. Do you think I would have you all up in my face if you didn't look good to me?"
"So why haven't you tried to have sex with me?"
"Because I can get sex from anybody, I'm not stressing it like that. I figured when you're ready you'd let me know."
"Well, I'm ready."
"You sure, Ma? I ain't in no rush."
"I know. But you've been so good to me. I want to be good to you." I did want to be good to Azar, but I also wanted to put all the moves on him that I learned from fucking Jamal. Shit, I didn't want to feel like I put all that work in with Jamal for nothing.
That night I put it on Azar. First, I gave him the best blowjob this side of Brooklyn. His eyes rolled back and his body jerked as I deep throated him. "Oh, Precious, just like that baby. Yeah, oh damn, baby," he said, moving the back of my head in a constant rhythm. I really fucked his mind up because not only did I let him come in my mouth, but I also swallowed. Then I rode his dick and when he screamed my name, I knew I had blown his mind.
k9S18 [mull'
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. I don't want you working here no more."
"Why not?"
"I really shouldn't have to explain myself to you, but since you're young, and this is new to you, I will. I don't want you at this shop no more. Too many niggas come through and I know they be tryna holla. One, because you fine as shit, and also because they know you my girl, they may try to get fly wit' they shit.
"I keep a low profile. The last thing I want to do is get extra `cause one of these clown niggas steps out of line, or because you do. Enough said, so tell Boogie, `peace,' and I'll pick you up at six."
I gave Azar a kiss goodbye, and that was it. He was right, though because I did begin scheming on getting two more just like him. With all the
money Azar was now hitting me off with, if I had two other dudes to do the same, I would be sitting as pretty as a pussy cat. I already paid my moms up for four months in advance, but I was ready to get the hell out that dump. It didn't make sense to me to be giving her a thousand a month for some bullshit apartment, when for that amount I could be in my own crib.
Because of my age, of course, that would be a problem, but Azar had a hook up with a super, and he was working on getting me my own place. He suggested that I move in with him, but I told him my moms would probably try to have him locked up if I did that. My Moms stayed so high that she really didn't give a fuck if I was coming or going, but she would flip her wig if the steady money I was hitting her off with came to a halt. Soon I would be turning sixteen and it wouldn't matter no way.
One night after coming from Junior's for some banging-ass cheesecake, Azar said he needed to make a stop. He pulled up to the Marcus Garvey housing complexes. "Baby, you stay right here. I'll be back in a minute."
Although I lived in the projects myself and had been walking through them all my life, for some reason, I was feeling some type of way waiting in Azar's car in the dead of night. My stomach felt weary as I watched the typical corner boys walking behind the buildings with a crack head following to make the exchange, money for crack, hand to hand. There were other groups of dudes blasting they music, smoking blunts and guzzling down liquor, hitting on the local chicken heads, roaming the blocks. I was so caught up in checking out the scene that I almost didn't hear the gunshots that were ringing in the smoke filled air.
"Oh shit," I screamed when I zeroed in on Azar hauling ass out the building he went in less than ten minutes ago. From the one good light coming from the entrance of the project building, I had a clear view of Azar running with a big bag and aiming a 9mm at who I couldn't see. Before I could even think, Azar was coming around to the driver's side and all I heard was what sounded like an explosion as the glass from the back seat windows shattered.
"Open the fucking door," Azar roared as he pulled the door latch back and forth. He left the keys in the ignition when he ran inside, and I forgot I locked the doors the minute he was out of sight. I fidgeted with the unlock button because my nerves were shot. As soon as I heard the click of the door unlocking, I noticed the dude who blasted out the window getting closer to the car. He was just blasting out bullets like he was the terminator. I kept my head down as Azar put the petal to the metal and sped off, but not before he did, the dude blasted off one last bullet shattering the entire back window.
"Azar, what the fuck happened? Why that nigga bust off on you like that?"
I looked down at my hands, and they were shaking. I was trying to remain calm as possible in a situation like this, but inside I was freaking out. All it took was one bullet to end your life and that nigga who was chasing Azar had let out enough to kill a whole army.
Although my head was still down, I was giving Azar the third degree. But he wasn't saying shit. He was just hauling ass. Even with my head down, I was still able to look to the side and see Azar was sweating puddles. I stayed down for what seemed like another fifteen minutes until Azar came to a stop.
"I have to run up in my crib and get some shit. If you see anybody suspicious pull off and we'll meet up at your crib. But just drive far enough to get out of sight, then ditch the car and jump in a cab to take you home."
"Azar, I can't drive. I don't even have my license." I couldn't believe this nigga was trying to make me drive his car with no license and the back windows all busted out.
My hands were shaking, so I slid them under my thighs because I didn't want Azar to know how badly I was stressing.
"You'll fucking learn to drive tonight if need be."
"Why can't you just drop me off at home? This is some oh-other shit."
Then Azar lifted my chin and looked in my eyes real serious. "You my girl, I take care of you. You telling me you not riding this out wit' me?" he asked in the most serious voice I'd ever heard him speak in.
"Baby, I got you. Go handle what you have to do and if no one shows up, then I'll be right here waiting. If not, I'll see you at my moms' crib."
When Azar got out the car, I just shook my head in disgust. I didn't know what type of bullshit Azar was caught up in, but won't no nigga worth dying for. I was tempted to drive right out his life, but I knew Azar would find me and he might bust off on me for ditching his ass. It didn't matter now because in the blink of an eye Azar was back with three big ass bags he put in his trunk.
There was dead silence as Azar drove to his garage and pulled out his Range and left the Benz. I told him I wanted to go home but he begged for me to stay with him at the hotel room he got. Without him saying it, it was clear he could never go back to his apartment and needed to stay at the hotel until he came up with a better plan. That was cool for him but I didn't want to be on the run from some street niggas.
Hell, I still didn't know what had jumped off in that building. But after Azar handed me 5 G's for what he called "Trooping it" I decided staying with him at least for the night, might not be all that bad.
I hardly slept that whole night. Then my stomach was growling `cause a bitch was hungry. I wanted to order some room service, but Azar paranoid ass didn't want nobody delivering us food. That shit sounded crazy, but I was like whatever. He went out and brought back every breakfast item from McDonald's and I ate that shit up like it was my last meal. Finally after my belly was full, I bit the bullet and questioned Azar again.
"Baby, what happened last night?" Azar closed his eyes and put his head back. I figured that once again there would be a long period of silence. Then he began to speak.
"The moment I knocked on the door I knew the vibe was off. But I couldn't walk away," he said with frustration in his voice.
"Walk away from what?" I asked, feeling like I was pulling teeth trying to get an explanation from him.
"Man, I'm slipping. I thought them niggas shoot straight from the hip, but they shady. When the cat opened the door, and I stepped in the apartment, shit just went haywire."
"Damn, what happened?" I asked, now leaning closer, dying to know how shit ended in a blaze of bullets.
"So I step in, homeboy close the door and my new buyer start beefing about my product, saying the heroin I gave him was garbage. I was like, "Yeah, OK. Give me my shit back, `cause I know this nigga lying."
"How you know he lying?" I inquired. This was the first time I ever heard a first hand account of a drug transaction going bad, my ears were plugged.
"Yo', I fuck wit' these Columbians. They got the best dope on the streets, hands down. So it's three of us in the room, and I'm eying these two niggas tryna get a feel as to what they next move gonna be. So then the nigga that's the farthest away from me start pacing back and forth saying he ain't got the product no more.
"So I'm like a'ight, give me my bread. At this point, I already peeped this black duffel bag on the side of the wall. My instincts were telling me my paper was in there, and I wasn't leaving without it. So I told the niggas you got two options: either give me my product or my bread, but I'm leaving wit' one."
"What did the dude say?"
"The two niggas looked at each other, speaking wit' they eyes, and that was my sign to pull out my heat. Them niggas had three hundred and fifty thousand of mine. Somebody was gonna be lullaby off that shit. I asked them one more time for my bread or my drugs. When I caught the nigga standing closest to me wink his eye, "I put a bullet right through it."
"Oh, shit, then what happened?"
"Yo, I blasted off on the other nigga, but instead of the cat I just shot falling back on the wall, his body fell toward me and he knocked my arm causing me to miss my aim. It gave the other nigga time to gain his momentum and he started busting off. I used his partner's body as a shield while I grabbed the duffel bag and fled. You know what happened next, the nigga left standing came at me wit' death on his mind. I know for a fact he and his people's gonna be looking for
me."
I didn't even know what to say to Azar. I understood why he had to go hard on those dudes because they were trying to rob him, but unfortunately he didn't finish the job. There is nothing worse than for your enemy to be walking the streets looking to get you. You got to spend the rest of your life watching your back unless you catch his back first. "So what you gon' do now, Azar?" I asked, doubting he even knew.
"Get the fuck outta Brooklyn for a minute. That apartment I was checking up on for you in Harlem should be ready in a week. I already paid the nigga. We supposed to pick up the keys tomorrow. But we can't move in until the end of next week."
All I heard was we, and I had already told Azar that my moms would shit bricks if she found out we was living together.
"Azar, you know my moms ain't going for us living together," I said feeling stressed about the whole situation.
"I know, but you'll be sixteen in a couple of months. We just won't let her know just yet. You can still stay there with her for the time being. Them niggas won't think to look for me in Harlem. I'll keep a low profile and see what the streets are talking `bout."
The next day Azar and I drove to Harlem and picked up the keys to the new apartment. It was in a renovated elevator building on 142nd and Riverside Drive. Azar introduced me to the super as his girlfriend who would also be living there with him. Azar also gave me a bag and told me to hide it somewhere safe at my moms crib. He explained it was emergency money just in case anything went down. He also stressed the importance of learning how to drive and getting my license when I turned sixteen. So for the next couple of days, we drove out to this big empty parking lot in Long Island, and I practiced. Later on that day I stopped at home to hide the bag Azar gave me.
Luckily, in my closest, one of the floor panels was slightly lifting so I hid the bag under there and covered it with my shoes and boxes. I hadn't been home in about three days but my moms wasn't tripping, especially after I hit her off with an extra few hundred dollars and told her to buy herself something nice. I grabbed a few things and headed right back out. Azar was outside waiting for me, so I didn't want to take too long. He was still worried about coming through the Brooklyn projects. When I got back in the car, Azar was looking scared as shit. "Baby, is everything alright? You didn't see nobody did you?"