by J. D. Griffo
Joyce, however, wasn’t going to let a cell phone ring ruin her tour de force, and she continued to play out the rest of her scene. Grabbing her briefcase, Joyce whirled around, but slow enough to catch Marion staring at her. She glanced one last time at Alberta, her hat perfectly slanted to create a red halo over her head, and shouted, “Ciao!” over her shoulder. But even though she was gone, her performance wasn’t over.
Less than a minute later, Alberta received a fifth text from Joyce with instructions to throw the business card in her trash can and tell Marion she was leaving for the day but to go to the ladies’ room instead.
Alberta did what she was told and when she got to the ladies’ room she found Joyce was waiting there for her in one of the stalls.
“Oh my God!” Alberta whispered excitedly, closing the door to the stall behind her so they could have some privacy. “Joyce, you were amazing! Absolutely amazing! I’m not really sure what that was all about, but you were really, really convincing. You should try out to be part of the Tranquility Players, I think you’d be wonderful on the community theater stage.”
“Thank you, sweetie, but first let’s see if I convinced Marion.”
“What do you mean?”
“When I first started working on Wall Street, I worked for a man named Seymour Hurwitz,” Joyce relayed. “He was like a mentor to me, and one of the first things he taught me was Dineri fanno dineri.”
“A Jew told you in Italian that money makes money?” Alberta asked incredulously.
“In the mid-seventies, Wall Street didn’t really lay out the red carpet for Jewish people, so Seymour told everybody he was Italian,” Joyce explained. “I was one of the only ones who knew the truth.”
“Okay, but what does that have to do with impersonating an antiques dealer who wants to buy Lucy’s TV Guide collection?”
“If Marion knows anything about the collection and is desperate to sell it, he’s not going to be able to resist taking the bait and retrieving my business card from your trash can.”
Stunned by Joyce’s brilliance, Alberta was speechless and just stared at her with her mouth open.
“I’m going to assume by your expression that you’re impressed with my plan.”
Finally regaining the ability to speak, Alberta said, “You’re one of the smartest women I’ve ever known. And may I say for about the millionth time, I have no idea why the hell my brother ever cheated on you.”
“Neither do I,” Joyce said, shrugging her shoulders. “But let’s see if I can judge another man’s character better than I could judge my husband’s.”
Joyce instructed Alberta to go back to her desk to see if the business card was still in her trash can.
“What if Marion’s still there?” Alberta asked.
“Well then, pick up something from your desk,” she suggested and then added. “But as you’re leaving, drop your purse in front of the trash can so when you bend down to pick it up, Marion won’t see you looking to see if the card is still there.”
Again, Alberta’s jaw dropped. “Ah, Madon, your mind never stops working, does it?”
“Old habits die hard, sweetie. I’ll wait here for you so I know the coast is clear.”
While walking back to her desk, Alberta looked through her pocketbook as if she was searching for something to make her return appear more legitimate. When she turned the corner and glanced into Marion’s office, she realized there was no need to keep up appearances; he was already gone.
She stood in front of her desk and took a deep breath before looking into the trash can. Part of her wanted the adventure to continue and see that the business card was missing, proving Joyce’s belief that Marion indeed knew the location of Lucy’s TV Guide collection and was desperate to make a buck off of it. But the other part of her wanted to disprove Joyce’s theory so she could feel a bit more respect for Marion.
When she looked into the trash can, she saw that the business card was gone, along with her respect for her boss. Like the good little boy he was, Marion had wasted no time taking the bait.
CHAPTER 20
Chi cerca mal, mal trova.
Marion didn’t necessarily want to shoot the messenger, but he definitely wanted her out of his office. Jinx, however, wasn’t ready to leave just yet.
As part of her plan to gain entry to the Wasserman & Speicher building carrying their scuba-diving equipment without being noticed, Jinx posed as a messenger. Wearing large sunglasses, her hair falling freely past her shoulders, and with a very large backpack strapped onto her back, she looked nothing like the saintly Sister Maria who had previously counseled Marion. But just to make sure he didn’t recognize her, Jinx once again mimicked her grandmother’s thick northern New Jersey accent and made it sound even thicker.
“But I wuz told ta bring dis to a Mistuh Krowzuh,” she announced.
“I’m not Mistuh Krowzuh,” Marion said, his patience wearing woefully thin. “I’m Mister Klausner.”
“Ohhhh,” Jinx replied. “Ya sure?”
Marion’s patience was now officially lost. “Yes! Now get out of my office!”
“Okay, calm yaself, I’m leavin’,” Jinx said as she walked out of his office, the door slamming shut behind her. As she passed Alberta’s desk, she turned to her grandmother and added, “Sheesh, some people get all huffy when I’m just tryin’ to do my job, ya know?”
Before Alberta could answer, she saw Denise running down the hallway toward them. Marion’s uncharacteristic shouting obviously prompted the nosy HR executive to investigate. Alberta needed to intervene quickly or else her investigation of the link between Wasserman & Speicher and Memory Lake was going to be thwarted before it even got started.
“Denise!” Alberta cried. “I need your help.”
Ignoring Alberta, Denise asked Jinx, “Excuse me, who are you?”
“Lady, I’m just the messenger,” Jinx replied, still in character, “Don’t get yaself all excited.”
Alberta could tell by the indignant look on Denise’s face that she was about to make a scene, so Alberta needed to make sure that she was Denise’s scene partner and not Jinx. Grabbing the first thing she could find, Alberta ran out from behind her desk and in front of Denise just as Jinx walked by her.
“What should I do with these?”
Naturally confused by the sight of Alberta holding up a pair of mint green espadrilles, Denise didn’t respond immediately. She started to turn around to call after Jinx again, but Alberta waved an espadrille in front of Denise’s face like a Payless salesperson desperate to make a sale.
“I still don’t know what to do with the stack of shoes I found in Beverly’s drawer.”
Inspecting the merchandise closer, Denise replied, “Burn them, they’re hideous. That woman has absolutely no taste.”
Tugging on Denise’s arm, Alberta dragged her back to her desk and opened a drawer to reveal a pile of shoes. She pulled out a black-and-white polka-dot pump and a hot pink slingback with gold embellishments to add to the collection she was holding. “Are you sure we shouldn’t give them to charity?”
“The only charitable thing to do would be to use them as kindling for some homeless person’s bonfire,” Denise spat. “Beverly really did dress like a clown.”
Dumping them back in the drawer, Alberta replied, “I think I’ll just box them up and drop them off at Goodwill.”
“Do whatever you want with them, I don’t care,” Denise said. “Now where did that messenger go?”
“She left,” Alberta muttered indifferently, “Said something about having the wrong building.”
Alberta could tell that Denise wasn’t entirely satisfied by her answer, so she needed to distract her even further. “By the way, Freddy Frangelico says hello.”
“Who?”
“The diving instructor.”
After a moment, the name seemed to make more sense to her. “Oh, right, nice kid.” Denise glanced over to Marion’s office and Alberta followed her gaze to see that their
boss was watching their every move. They both knew that it was time to get back to work.
“I have to get ready to leave for a benefits meeting with our new health-care provider,” Denise announced. “And you have to make some poor people look even more unfashionable.”
I’ll get right on that, Alberta thought, but first I need to make sure my granddaughter made it to Phase Two of our plan.
For the second time in as many days, Alberta found herself going to the ladies’ room when she didn’t really have to go. Ignoring the Out of Order sign taped to the bathroom stall, Alberta knocked on the door gently. “Jinx, honey, it’s me, are you in there?”
Unlatching the door, Jinx opened it a crack. “We did it, Gram!”
Alberta couldn’t help but smile at her granddaughter’s enthusiasm. However, she knew they still had a long way to go if they wanted to find the secret tunnel that led from the sub-basement of the building to Memory Lake without being seen. “Yes, but we still have a lot more to do.”
“I know,” Jinx said. “But if the security underground is as lax as the security upstairs, we won’t have any problems finding the tunnel entrance. I mean seriously, Gram, I was able to waltz right into Marion’s office without anyone stopping me.”
“Denise did almost stop you,” Alberta reminded her.
“And look how easily you handled that situation! We really are a great team.”
“Now Jinx, don’t get like your Uncle Tony.”
“Daddy’s brother?”
“He was always spavaldo . . . arrogante.”
“Cocky?”
“Yes! He thought for sure Conchetta Minetti was going to wait to marry him just because she had a limp,” Alberta explained. “So, he played the field. By the time he was ready to pop the question she had already run off with that orthopedic shoe salesman. He gave her one flat shoe and one with a three-inch platform heel so she could walk as steady as a tightrope walker, never limped again. She’s still happily married and your Uncle Tony? He’s still a lonely bachelor.”
“You and your stories,” Jinx said, suppressing her laughter so she wouldn’t make any unnecessary noise. “That’s a good one . . . orthopedic shoes.”
“Shoes!” Alberta cried, forgetting that she wasn’t supposed to make any unnecessary noise. “Oh, Madon, I have to pack up Beverly’s shoes.”
“How much longer do I have to wait in here?” Jinx asked.
Alberta checked her watch as she started to run out. “Everyone’s leaving at five today so just another half-hour or so. And remember if you have to go, don’t flush, that toilet’s not supposed to be working.”
Shaking her head, Jinx closed the bathroom stall and sat on the toilet bowl. She wondered if being an investigative reporter could get any more glamorous.
* * *
An hour later, after all the employees had left the building, Jinx was still hiding out in the stall. When she heard the bathroom door open, she froze and held her breath until Alberta’s whisper cut through the silence.
“Lovey, are you still in there?”
“Where else would I be?” Jinx asked.
Jinx unlocked the stall and Alberta got inside, both women trying to hide how nervous they were from each other. Now that they were so close to proving that there was a secret tunnel and, hopefully, finding out that Lucy’s TV Guide collection was at the bottom of Memory Lake, they didn’t want to make any mistakes that might get them caught on their way downstairs to the sub-basement, or worse, force them to have to turn over their investigation to the authorities.
“Do you think we’ve waited long enough?” Alberta asked.
“I think so,” Jinx replied. “I haven’t heard a noise since you got in here.”
“Okay, do you have Sloan’s map?”
Jinx unzipped a pocket of her jacket and whipped out the folded map. “Right here, but I practically memorized the thing while I was manning the john.”
Suddenly the realization of what they were about to do struck Alberta and she was consumed with fear, delight, and anxiety. She definitely had a case of the jitters. “I’m not sure if I’m more excited or scared,” Alberta declared.
“It’s fine to be both, Gram,” Jinx replied. “The most important thing is that we’re prepared.”
Jinx patted the backpack that contained their scuba-diving equipment—their air tanks, masks, fins, pressure gauges, and wet suits. She put her arms through the straps and hoisted the pack onto her back. Smiling roguishly, she said, “Let’s do this, partner.”
Pushing all of her nerves aside, Alberta smiled and beamed with pride.
Jinx slowly opened the bathroom door and, despite her bravado, part of her expected to find Marion, Denise, or a security guard waiting for them on the other side so she sighed with relief when she saw the hallway was not only dark but empty as well. She turned right, and Alberta followed directly behind her, making sure to close the bathroom door quietly in case someone was indeed lurking nearby.
At the end of the hall they went down a flight of stairs to the floor below and once they were sure it was also empty, continued on their way. A right, then a left, and soon Alberta realized she was in familiar territory. Straight ahead was the Safe Room. When they got to the double door, it was Alberta’s turn to take charge.
“You need a password to get into this room.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Nope, it’s called the Safe Room for a reason.”
Throwing her hands up in the air, the map billowing in between them, Jinx said, “What are we supposed to do now?”
Beaming even more proudly, Alberta announced, “Allow Grandma to come to the rescue.”
Alberta typed in the word “Duke” and they heard the door unlock. She pulled it open and gestured for Jinx to enter.
“You never cease to amaze me.”
“Likewise, lovey.”
Inside, Alberta looked around the room, which was chock-full of filing cabinets, while Jinx surveyed the blueprint to determine their next move. After a moment, Jinx looked straight ahead at a poster on the wall hanging above a small table. The poster was a blown-up photo of a string of small, adjoining buildings, each painted a different color along the banks of a huge lake. In the top left-hand corner of the poster, floating over fluffy white clouds, were printed the words “Lake Constance.”
“There’s a door behind that poster,” Jinx announced. “Help me move this table.”
The women grabbed the table from opposite sides and carried it a few feet away. They pulled off the poster that was Scotch-taped to the wall and saw that it was indeed put there to cover a door and not as a decoration to brighten up the space. There were a few tears at the edge of the poster on the bottom left side, indicating that it had, at some point, been pulled back to allow someone to exit the room, which was actually a very easy task. Where there should have been a doorknob, there was only a hole. Jinx put her fingers through it and easily pulled the door open.
“I guess Marion’s mother didn’t want to risk the chance of getting locked out from the other side,” Jinx deduced.
“And she never figured someone would be able to get into the room who shouldn’t be here,” Alberta added.
“Talk about spavaldo.”
The temperature on the other side of the door was several degrees colder than it was in the room. Alberta thought at first it was because they were so close to the computer room, which always had to be kept cold to keep the servers from overheating, but quickly realized it was because they were getting closer to the lake. To the right they saw an arched opening that led to a stairwell that only descended. According to Sloan’s blueprint, the stairs led straight down to the sub-basement.
“There are some flashlights in the small pocket of my backpack,” Jinx said. “Could you give me one?”
Alberta unzipped the compartment and pulled out a flashlight made of heavy-duty yellow plastic. “Here you go.”
With Jinx lighting their way, they moved slowly one s
tep at a time down the narrow stairwell. The temperature seemed to drop with each step, and soon the sharp scent of mold and mildew filled the air. They were definitely getting closer to a source of water.
After descending about four flights they could see a clearing at the bottom of the stairs. When they were standing on solid ground again, they looked up and were amazed. In front of them and to the left it looked like they were staring at the outside of a building. The facade was weather-beaten, but clearly made of concrete. But to the right and behind them, it was as if they were standing next to the side of a mountain as the walls were smoothed out rocks and stone. And most unlikely of all, carved into the side of the rocks was an opening about eight feet tall and ten feet wide.
“I don’t know how they did it, but they really did build a tunnel.”
Surveying the man-made triumph, Alberta replied, “Say what you want about the Germans, but they’re very crafty people.”
Aiming her flashlight straight ahead, Jinx couldn’t see much beyond the darkness and shadows, but since there was no other direction for them to go if they wanted to reach the lake, this was the path they had to follow.
With Alberta once again inches behind her, Jinx led the way through the tunnel, with each step marveling that such a structure could not only be built but kept a secret for so many years. After almost five minutes the darkness started to become claustrophobic as the air became thicker and ripe with the smells of the underground. Jinx’s back and shoulders also began to hurt from carrying a heavy weight for such a long time. Just when they thought it might make more sense to turn back and abandon their madcap adventure, they literally saw a light at the end of the tunnel.
“I think we’re here,” Jinx whispered.
And they were. They finally emerged into an even smaller clearing that was completely empty except for a hole in the center of its floor.
“Strabiliante!” Alberta gasped. “This is absolutely amazing.”