"An Ovate can go anywhere whether in this realm or the next."
Shut the front door. “Realms as in worlds?” She nodded. “With an ‘S’ as in plural, as in several of them?” I specified, still finding it hard to believe.
She looked at me amused. “Yes.”
Damn, that was a lot to take in. "Shit, you Druids are freaking hardcore, aren't you?"
She chuckled. “I am not quite sure what that means.”
“How do you do it?”
She frowned again. "Well, I am not exactly certain."
"What does that mean?"
"I have only started to learn about it recently. Although I have had this ability since I was born, I do not control it yet. That is the reason I fainted. It comes to me unexpectedly and takes control of my body. I get cold, and my head begins to hurt. Dizziness engulfs me, and I lose consciousness. I have gotten hurt before because of it. I am supposed to control this power and access it when I see fit, yet, I must stop it from controlling me first. There is no warning, it mostly just takes over."
I stared at her as the words replayed in my mind. "Wait a minute. You say that there is no warning yet you just described the symptoms to me. You get cold, your head starts to hurt, and then the dizziness begins until it takes control of you, right?" She nodded confused. "Then there is your warning."
“But it happens so fast, I...”
"It doesn't matter. The warning is there. You just need to train yourself to recognize it the moment it begins. Once you can do that, then it’s just a matter of fighting it and taking that control back. If there is something you have to see, then it will be on your own terms."
“You say it as though it was easy.” She huffed, crossing her arms.
“It is.” I smiled. “Imagine this power is like an instrument to you. Your axes for example. They are there ready for you to use, but you are the one who has to use them. When you fight you don’t just trough your axe in the air and expect it to hit something do you?”
“Of course not,” She answered, appalled at the idea.
I grinned. "Exactly. You are the master of those weapons, and they do what you want them to. It is your skill that controls them." The image of her in a tight black leather outfit and her double axes in hand suddenly crossed my mind, and every single part of my body reacted to it. I was a sucker for punishment, and she could punish me any way she wanted. I sighed. "My point is, don't think of this ability as something bigger than you, that overwhelms you and takes you against your will. Think of it as your instrument to handle, like your axes. The less importance you give it in your mind, the more you will be able to control it."
She looked at me as though I had just opened a window to a whole new world for her. I finally felt like I was doing something right. "I understand."
She got up and began to pace around the room. Her eyes were wide and unfocused as she considered the possibilities of what this could mean to her. I stood and walked towards her. She stopped right in front of me.
“I can do this. I just need to imagine it like something I can wield.”
I nodded, and her gaze swept the room. Focusing on the wall, she walked to it and took one of the magical torches from it. I hadn't even realized they were iron sconces. They seemed both rustic and delicate at the same time as the metal curved and intertwined within itself, forming a series of knots that ended on a small crystal sphere. She gripped it, pulling it apart from the sconce, and turned towards me smiling.
“I could use this. I can visualize it as this glass sphere, small and within my power.”
She walked towards me and dropped it in my palm. I closed my hand around it. It was around the size of a golf ball, and it had a good weight to it. I thought it would be hollow inside and delicate, but I wasn't. It was thick glass, heavy and strong. I opened my hand and shifted my fingers, playing with its weight and swiftly moving it over and under each finger. Her eyes widened, and I smiled repeating the trick once more, then threw it up in the air and leaned forward, catching it with my neck and letting it roll down my back, to my other hand behind me. She chuckled. I swung it from behind me, and as it made its way down between us, she caught it.
"It's perfect," I said as her hand closed around it.
“How did you do that? She asked, and her eyes sparkled again.
"Oh, that's a silly trick I learned playing with my Baoding Balls.”
“You play with your what?”
I laughed, as her eyes widened. "No, not those balls, although…" Her mouth dropped, and I laughed again. "Don't worry. I haven't played with those in a while. I winked at her, and she blushed. She was too cute, and I was an idiot. I chuckled. “Baoding Balls are these Chinese therapy balls that you move around your hand. They have several uses, for finger dexterity, exercise, and stress relief, or for when you are in a boring ass meeting you don't want to be a part of, but are forced to anyway, and need to kill time. I usually have a lot of time on my hands, so I have learned a few tricks."
She smiled again, looked at the ball, and walked back to the wall. She removed the glass balls of the other three sconces and brought them to me.
“Show me more.”
I smiled and took a few steps back. Holding the balls in my right hand, I threw them in the air and caught them as they fell, all with the same hand. I flung one up and bounced it on my shoulder, as it went higher I threw the second, and bounced it off my arm then added the third one and kept the momentum going as I bounced all three off my body at the same time. Eisha's eyes followed the balls as they went up and down. She smiled enthralled by the trick, and I shook my head. All the money I had spent on expensive dinners, jewelry, and clothes. The rides on my Lamborghini, and weekends on my yacht just to impress a woman, and it had taken my dorky past time to catch Eisha's attention.
"Throw yours up." She looked at me scared that she was going to ruin the balance of the balls. I grinned. "Come on. Throw it." She did, and I caught it with my left hand and swung it back up. Changing the directions of the balls as I bounced each on my shoulder, I began to juggle the four of them between us. She clapped excitedly, and my heart clenched. She was so damn cute. I lifted my right leg and began to swing them around my thigh. Threw them high again and leaned forward, stretching my neck I kept the momentum going with my hands, as they circled my neck over and over. Eisha's eyes were full of wonder as she followed the balls and giggled, I winked at her. I caught them with the beck of my neck and allowed them to roll down my back and into my expecting hands. I spread my arms and bowed.
She clapped again, and I straightened, laughing. I loved seeing her this way. Walking closer, I curtsied offering her the ball back.
“La tua palla, mia Bella Stella.”
She took it from my hand still smiling, and at that moment my heart beat for her. "I have never shown that to anyone before.” I confessed.
Her eyes sparkled as bright as the stars. "I feel honored to be the first ever to see you playing with your balls." She winked at me just like I had done before, and I laughed.
She walked to the table, and I followed, I could still see the glint of humor in her eyes as we sat down. "May ask you something?" She nodded. "Why are you so afraid of your gift? It sounds amazing to me."
She blinked and took a deep breath. Just like that, her eyes dimmed. I felt like an ass for taking that away from her.
"My mother, Venetia, had this gift too." Her eyes watered as she looked at me. "Unfortunately, she died when I was a child. Unlike me, she had been an Ovate her whole life and had mastered it, but one night she was transported unexpectedly. Much like it happens to me now. She was not prepared for what she would witness, and her heart gave up on her. She died that night with me by her side."
A tear fell from her eyes, and I instantly reached for her hand to comfort her, but remembered the damn spell and stopped just an inch away. Her gaze shifted to my hand, and she clasped it tightly, needing the support. My heart constricted at the pain in her eyes.
"I
tried and tried to wake her, but it wasn't enough." Another tear fell. She let go of my hand and wiped the tears from her cheek, the ones that were mine to dry, and for the millionth fucking time, I wished I could touch her. "All this time I blamed the ability we share for killing her, and I was terrified that it would take me too. That night traumatized me in a way that made me hide from the whole world. I've been hiding for over two thousand years only to realize that the gift had nothing to with it. The more I think back to those days that led to her death, the more I remember. She was sick. I remember coming into the hut from playing outside only a day before, and I found her coughing blood."
"Tuberculosis," I said, instantly recognizing the disease. It had been a great cause of deaths during the Iron Age. She frowned. "I'm sorry, I guess you must know it as consumption. I'm truly sorry for your loss." She nodded, grateful for the sentiment and wiped her cheeks again.
"It took a lot for me to get here, but now I want to understand this gift and learn to control it."
"I'll help you," I said, not even knowing what the hell I could help her with. "I mean, I have no idea what I can even do to help you, but I'll try. I can be there for you. If you let me."
She smiled.
"You have already begun to help." She lifted the glass ball, and I smiled.
“I hope it works.”
“Me too.”
“And your father?”
She looked at the sphere again. “I never knew him. He was a traveler that passed by our village. My mother fell in love with him and they were together for a while, but she was always aware that he must return home. She did not mind it. They just enjoyed being together while he remained in the village. After he had left, she realized she was with child.
It was always just the two of us, but I never missed him. My mother was all I ever needed.
EISHA
* * *
"I never knew my mother." My gaze flew to Felix’s once again as the words poured out of him. I tried to search my memories for the images that I had seen during the visions, and I realized I had never seen one where Felix had been born yet. "She died giving birth to me. I guess you can say I killed her."
"No! Why would you say such a thing? You had no control over her condition."
He nodded not entirely convinced by my words. "My Dad never talked about her. I asked him once, and he said she was very sick, and had been weak for days. That she wasn't strong enough during the delivery, but that was it. It was like he had blocked himself to the memory of her. Like he didn't want to remember her."
His eyes glistened with each word, and my heart constricted. My mother had died when I was young, but I had felt her love, I had been in her arms, and known what a mothers' love was. He never had.
"He never talked about my mother." He repeated looking into my eyes as the pain ripped through him. "I don't even know her name."
A tear spilled from his eyes and his jaw tightened. The muscles at his jawline strained, and I could see him fighting the emotion that was pouring into him. He blinked, looking away from me as he tried to remain untouched by his statement. Nevertheless, my tears were falling for him, and I could not fathom the pain that was coursing through him. I threw my arms around him and held him tight as another tear escaped me.
"Sometimes I wondered if I was adopted and that was all a lie that my father made up, so he didn't have to tell me the truth. Except, it didn't explain the disgust and hatred I saw on Agustina's eyes every time she looked at me. She was not the warmest woman and I learned very early not to ask questions."
I pulled back and caressed his cheek, wiping the wet trail of the tear that had escaped him before. He looked into my eyes and my chest tightened. It was as though I actually offered him relief.
“I wish I could touch you.” He whispered, looking into my eyes.
“You must not.”
“I know.”
I pulled away from him, and as I looked into his warm honey eyes, I could almost feel the pain his words carried. Felix was developing feelings for me, and I had to stop him before it went any further and he got hurt. I was meant to be with Art. Felix was surprisingly sweet and funny, but I could be nothing more than a friend to him. I had promised to help him, and I would keep my word yet I could not allow him to form any illusions about us.
"I used to have this nightmare when I was a child." His words brought my attention back to the present. "It always began as common dream. This lovely feminine voice sang to me, or at least I thought she did. She sang to a baby, her baby, and the melody was beautiful, enchanting and even eerie all at the same time. It was a lullaby." Oh dear Goddess, and he dreamt about Ailidh? "She sang and said everything would be ok. Then the dream always turned darker. She began to scream and beg them not to hurt her baby. Whoever they were, then it ended with her singing the song again while she cried." He held my gaze, and need flooded his eyes. "I've been having that nightmare again since I've been here. I don't know why or what it means, but I hear her singing in my mind, especially when I'm healing."
I looked at him as my mind raced. He had experienced his mother's love and fear even from the womb, and he could remember it now. He had heard her singing to him when he was healing, which meant his connection to his Celtic side was strong. Perhaps Ailidh had been the one to awaken the ability in him. I would need to speak to Cyn about this. Felix looked at his hand, and my eyes followed. It was hovering over mine. Without thinking, I took it and held it tightly between both of mine. His eyes briefly closed at the contact, and I knew I needed to be more careful with him. He was vulnerable, and there was much he needed to learn about himself and our people. The last thing he needed was to fall in love with me. Art would kill him the first chance he got.
“Felix…”
“I know.”
“Thank you for sharing your secrets with me,” I said, letting go of his hand and standing from the chair.
"Thank you for sharing yours with me." The honesty in his eyes was overwhelming. I smiled, and he did in turn.
"I shall be here tomorrow morning at the break of dawn. You can burn yourself all you want, but you will not escape training with me any longer."
He chuckled. “I should have known better. I will train with you, although I’m not sure how to tell the time in here.”
He gestured at the cave around us, and I sighed. "I shall wake you."
“I’ll be here.” He smiled. Then his gaze turned serious. “Can I ask you a question?” I nodded intrigued. “If I do everything you tell me to, and I can prove to you that I am not a threat can I leave this place?”
My eyes widened. “You want to leave?”
He nodded as sadness invaded his gaze. "I have to look for my father and tell him the truth about the Brotherhood. About everything they have done. Once he knows the truth, we can leave and build a new life somewhere. We will never have to worry about Romans or Druids. We can start again."
“Do you think he will believe you?”
“He’s my father.”
“You cannot leave us, Felix. You must stay.”
The look in his eyes instantly changed and love replaced the sadness. “I wish I could stay… for you.” I swallowed feeling the intensity behind his words. “But he is my father, the only one who has ever loved me. He’s my only family, Eisha.”
“You do not understand, Felix. You must not leave. There are things you need to learn. Things that are important and will change your life.”
“You have already changed my life.”
I took a deep breath. “Felix, please.”
“Tell me you don’t want me to leave.” He said, leaning closer and looking right into my eyes.
"I do not want you to leave." It was the truth, and I could not deny it. He was a Healer, and his place was here with us.
His hand lifted to my cheek but stopped an inch from my skin. His gaze went to my lips.
“Felix, please. You must not look at me that way. I cannot be yours. We can be friends, nothing more
.”
His hand dropped, and his eyes returned to mine. "Because of Art?"
I swallowed again and nodded. "I am destined to be with him."
He frowned. “How do you know?”
“I have seen it.”
He nodded and stepped away from me. "Promise me that once you are convinced, I'm not a threat to anyone you'll let me leave to look for my Dad."
“Felix, I cannot…”
"Eisha, I like you. You've obviously realized that already, but it's more than that. I have never felt this need for any woman in my life. One look from you makes me want to kiss you. It's like this creature has woken up in my chest and its wrecking everything inside it until it can have your love. My heart is begging me to let it fall in love with you, and I can't do that if you can't be mine. You are the only one who could make me stay, and even then I would still need to reach out to my father and tell him the truth." He sighed and shook his head. "What I feel right now it's insane. I would do anything for you, Eisha, anything you ask from me is yours and I barely know you. That is how much I already feel for you. How much I already need you. I have never been in love, so I don't even know what it feels like, but I want to feel it for you. Believe me, I know how freaking unbelievably idiotic that sounds, especially considering who I am and who you are." He paused, and my heart hurt with his every word, the raw need and hurt seeping through his lips was overwhelming. "If I can't have a chance with you, if there is not even the hope that one day you can be mine, Eisha, then there is nothing for me here. There's no reason for me to stay. Promise me that once you have no doubt that I'm no danger to any of you, you will talk to Cynwrig and let me leave."
“I promise,” I said, knowing it was a lie. A promise I could not keep. He was the son of Ailidh, a Healer and he belonged with his true family.
He could never leave.
I wiped the tear from my cheek as I walked into my hut and found Asrhia waiting for me.
Unwanted Magic (The Ancient Magic Series Book 3) Page 19