She digested that statement. So her uncle had told him nothing of her disobedience? Curious. But her uncle had certainly gotten the last word on the situation by betrothing her to a man she didn’t even know. Not an unusual happening, but she had hoped to at least marry someone of acquaintance. She took a long look at Charles, the man who would be her husband. His gaze was open and eager. It just made her ill.
“If you don’t mind, I will excuse myself for a moment,” she said, her voice tight.
He leapt up from his chair. “May I escort you, my lady?”
She shook her head. “I am just going outside. To…”
He put up his hands and his red cheeks flushed redder. “Of course,” he said. “I shall await your return.”
She rose from her chair and skirted the table, making sure to pass the on the opposite side from where her aunt and uncle were sitting. She had no desire to see them or speak with them. But she knew, even as she quit the room, that their eyes were following her. She could feel their suspicion. She just wanted to be alone and truthfully, at the moment, that was her only thought.
She went out the door she had come in, leading directly to the outside. The privy chamber was off to her left, buried in the structure near the Salt Tower. She really had no desire to go there; she simply wanted a breath of fresh air. The events of the last few moments had been too much for her to take in all at once and she needed to clear her head.
It was cold as she wandered into the night. She had left her cloak inside but made no move to go and retrieve it. To re-enter the hall would be to risk being cornered by her aunt or uncle, or even her betrothed. She needed to get away. As she crossed the courtyard towards the southeast corner of the White Tower, a voice came from the shadows.
“I thought you would never come out.”
Her heart leapt into her throat and she whirled in the direction of the voice. Emerging from the darkness under the turret of the White Tower was Brogan. Their gazes locked and he smiled at her surprise.
“God’s Teeth, you frightened me,” she managed to gasp. “How long have you been waiting?”
He shrugged casually. “Since before sun set.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “That long?”
“I wanted to make sure I was here when you came out. I did not want to miss you.”
She smiled, feeling gladdened by his words. They warmed her. But she just as quickly realized that even at this moment they might be watched, so she grabbed his arm and scooted back into the shadows from whence he came. She pressed herself against the arc where the turret met the straight building wall, a small corner in which to hide. Brogan was right next to her, his massive body blocking out everything else.
“We should hurry if you still intend to take in the entertainment,” he said, his voice low and quiet. “The hour grows late.”
She looked up at him; standing up against his enormous frame, she was eye level with his chest. To look him in the face meant she had to practically lay her head back horizontally.
“I still want to go, but I am not sure if it would be wise for you to go with me,” she said softly.
He was very, very close to her, gazing down into her sweet face. “Why not?”
She sighed, trying to glance around his big body to see if they were indeed being watched. “You saw what happened today,” she said. “My uncle’s knights might not be so forgiving if they find you with me again.”
“I am not afraid of them.”
“Aye, but I am afraid for you. They’re warring men; they would more than likely strike first and ask questions later. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you because of my foolishness.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment; he just looked at her. Then, very slowly, she felt his big fingers clasp her own. His hand was warm and strong. She gripped him in return and he lifted her hand to his lips, depositing a very soft kiss on her knuckles.
Avalyn had the same reaction she had had earlier when he had kissed both of her cheeks; lightning slammed through her and her entire body shuddered. Though she lost her breath and almost her balance, it was the most wonderful sensation she had ever experienced.
“I would take the risk,” he said quietly. “For the chance to be with you, for only a moment, I would risk the entire de Neville army.”
It was a lovely thing to say. Her heart began thumping madly against her ribs and she could not help the flush that came to her cheeks. Though it was cold in the shadows of the White Tower, she was quite warm. As much as she wanted to linger in that very tender moment, she knew that she could not. Reality was an ugly thing and she’d had more of her share of it throughout her life. She hated her reality at the moment.
“I must confess something,” she said. “My aunt and uncle told me to stay away from you and I disobeyed them. Oh, my intentions were good when I returned the dress this morning and I should have let that be the end of it. But I didn’t. I went with you to your mother’s shop and shared a wonderful morning with you. It was the most wonderful morning I can remember.”
“For me as well. I did not want it to end.”
“I’m sorry that it ended so abruptly, but I hope you understand it was not by my choice. I had to go or the knights would have been quite unkind to you.”
He brought her hand to his lips again. “I know.”
She smiled, feeling the bolts run through her again, his lips on her flesh. Some wonder of magic was working deep within her, something that Brogan could conjure up with a look or a touch. It was thrilling and almost enough to make her forget about all else. But she could not. If Brogan was to remain safe, she could not forget.
“My aunt and uncle punished me for disobeying them,” she murmured.
He froze, his deep blue eyes widening. “What did they do? Are you injured?”
She shook her head. “Nay, nothing like that. They would never touch me.” She sighed heavily, unsure how to tell him. It was difficult because she did not want to lose this moment, and she knew when she told him, everything warm and wonderful that was developing would end. “They must feel that my disobedience is some kind of rebellion, though it has nothing to do with treachery or deceit. It was simply… simply that I wanted to become better acquainted with the man who saved my life. In any case, they took swift action. Tonight, when I entered the feast, my uncle announced the betrothal of my cousin as I suspected. But he announced another betrothal as well.”
He wasn’t following her. “Whose?”
She fixed him in the eye, spitting it out before she lost her courage. “Mine.”
He didn’t react for a moment as the news sank in. Then, his expression went slack and confusion, outrage, disappointment all crossed his face in the same split second. “You?”
She nodded, lowering her gaze. She couldn’t stomach to look at him. “To Lord Charles Aubrey, a baron and great supporter of the Duke of Clarence.”
Brogan didn’t say anything for a moment. He continued to stand there, very close to her, with her hand at his lips. She could feel his hot, even breath on her flesh as the painful seconds ticked by.
“Do you know him?”
She shook her head. “Only by name and reputation.”
“Is this something you wish?”
She looked at him with a scowl. “Of course not. I have no desire to marry him. My aunt and uncle betrothed me to punish me for disobedience. I am sure it is their hope that a husband, a master, will keep me in my place.”
“They punished you because I serve the king?”
She nodded weakly. “Aye. Were you not loyal to Edward, perhaps things would be different, but I think they somehow feel our acquaintance somehow jeopardizes Clarence’s cause. They seek to insure my loyalty, I suppose, though I’ve truly done nothing wrong.”
“Then I will go now and swear fealty to your uncle.”
She looked at him, sharply. “What?”
“I would serve the cause you stand for so there will be no suspicion.”
&nb
sp; She could see that he was doing it to save her from the marriage. But he simply didn’t understand. She put a soft hand on his cheek, watching his eyes close at the gentleness of her touch.
“That is very sweet,” she whispered. “But it would not matter. What is done is done.”
His eyes opened, the deep blue orbs fixing on her. “You would still marry him?”
“I do not believe I have a choice.”
He just looked at her. “Then I will go swear allegiance to this Aubrey. I will at least be able to serve you if I do.”
Her brow furrowed. “Brogan, why would you do this? You are speaking of pledges and loyalty as if we have known each other all our lives and there is something to be gained by it. I am simply a woman whose life you saved. I am not worth altering your entire existence for.”
He lowered her hand from his face. It was clear that he was struggling for words. “You are more than that,” he rumbled. “You have brought something to me, something I do not want to lose. I know I have only known you for a few hours, but those have been the most glorious hours of my life. You have given me hope, my lady.”
“Hope for what?”
She could feel his big hands on her waist, the heat from his palms searing her skin through her surcoat. The hands moved to her back and somehow she was being pulled into a massive embrace. The timid hold grew bolder and he pulled her against his enormous chest, wrapping his arms around her slender body. It was like being swallowed up by a mountain of warm, musky, wonderful flesh. She collapsed into it, relished it, the first true embrace she had ever had from a man that she was attracted to. It was enough to make her head swim.
“You give me hope that this glory you have brought to my life will last,” his big face was looming over hers, his warm breath on her face. “My mother tried to explain it to me once. She felt this glory with my father. Each day, each step, brings you closer to it. She called it schritte der herrlichkeit.”
She was breathless with his massively overwhelming presence. “What does that mean?”
“It means the steps of glory.”
A smile crept onto her lips. She couldn’t help it. He was holding her so closely that he was nearly folded over in half, his face very near to hers. Avalyn reached up a timid hand, touching the weather-tanned cheek. He smiled and the flesh folded into deep grooves, which she traced with a finger. It ran from his cheekbone all the way to his chin. When she finished inspecting the dimple, she focused on his eyes.
“Brogan, I do not know why I feel such attraction to you, but I do,” she whispered. “I’ve known you a scant few hours and already I feel as you do. I feel glory and I do not want to lose this.”
His response was to lower his head and very gently rub his nose against hers. Avalyn sighed raggedly, closing her eyes at the fresh delight of the sensation. She could feel his breath on her face, his lips just a few short inches from her own. She found herself wishing he would claim her with those lips, those wonderful lips that had kissed her cheeks earlier and left an indelible mark. Just as she wished it, he took a deep breath and slanted his mouth over hers, kissing her more tenderly and deeply than a man had a right to. She responded naturally, as if she had been doing it all her life, her arms winding around his massive neck and her slender body pressed up against his.
The gentle suckling turned open mouthed and his tongue gently demanded entrance. She opened her lips instinctively and he plunged into the sweet pink orifice, licking and suckling her until her knees gave out and he had to support her. Even then, he continued to kiss her until her face was red from the stubble on his cheeks and even then, he did not stop until he forced himself pull away or risk abandoning all self control. He had, in fact, already lost it.
When the kiss ended and his wits halfway returned, he realized that he had her squeezed tightly against him. He didn’t even know if she was breathing except for the fact that her arms around his neck still held him fast. His face was in her fragrant hair as he spoke.
“Perhaps I should not have done that,” he said hoarsely. “Forgive me if it was too bold. I could not help myself.”
Avalyn heard his word and almost laughed, for she knew that she was in a good deal of trouble. She never wanted to leave the safety or strength of those massive arms, ever, nor leave those lips that had twice branded her.
“You were not too bold,” she murmured, her lips on his ear. “I wanted you to do that.”
His response was to hug her tightly. Avalyn clung to him, savoring the sensation of his massive body in her arms, wishing with all of her heart that it was Brogan she was betrothed to and not the red-faced baron. He felt so good against her, creating a feeling of security and safety and euphoria. And there was a distinct feeling of belonging, feeding an emotional need she never knew she had. He seemed to feed all of her.
But her wits gradually returned and she opened her eyes, seeing the tall structure of the White Tower behind them. It reminded her of where they were and that at any second they might be discovered. Now, more than ever, she did not want them to be exposed.
“Brogan,” she said softly, and he released her enough to look at her. “It is not safe for us out here. You must return to the barracks and I must return to the feast.”
She could tell by his expression that he did not like that suggestion. “But…but your entertainment…?”
“Not tonight. It is too dangerous.”
“When shall I see you again?”
She sighed sadly. “I do not know. We are leaving on the morrow.”
His deep blue eyes were intense, serious. “I do not want to let you go, Avalyn. I feel as if I am just starting to live again and to take you away would… would surely be the end of me. But I also know that there are many things I have no control over. I am a lowly soldier and you are a powerful lady. Tell me what you would have of me, what you want me to do, and I shall do it.”
She shook her head. “You are speaking before you can think this through. The heat of the moment is causing you to say things you do not mean.”
His expression dimmed. “I am not a wise or educated man, but I know what I am saying. I am not stupid.”
“I did not mean to offend you. But sometimes we say things in passion that we would not normally say. You must listen to what your words. Would you really risk all just to be near me, no matter what the cost?”
He fell silent, his massive hands stroking her back as he often stroked St. Alban’s fat cat. The strokes were gentle, uncannily so, but there was untapped strength to them. “Perhaps,” he suggested, his tone a bit calmer, “we should go see your entertainment and reason things out. We both agree that we do not want to lose whatever is happening between us. Perhaps we can think of a way to keep it.”
She looked at him hesitantly, thinking that perhaps her foolish attraction to the man was getting the better of her. So much had changed since last night, since this morning. She was betrothed now. But gazing into Brogan’s eyes, she knew that her heart would not let her think clearly. Perhaps there was a way they could keep what they had started. But in the same breath, her apprehension was growing at the thought that they might be discovered at any moment. No doubt those missing her at the feast would be looking for her. She could not put Brogan at such risk.
“Return to the barracks and I shall return to the feast,” she told him. “But meet me here around midnight. We will speak more of it then, without the fear of someone coming upon us.”
He pulled her close and rubbed noses with her before depositing a sweet and longing kiss on her lips. Then he let her go.
“I will be here.”
She smiled sadly at him. This wasn’t healthy for either of them, in more ways than one. “I know,” she murmured. “Now go before you are discovered. Hurry!”
He gave her a wink as he faded back into the shadows, hugging the wall of the White Tower before rounding the corner and out of sight. Avalyn watched him go before turning back in the direction of the feasting hall. She hadn’t made i
t ten feet when Inglesbatch was suddenly in front of her. His simmering blue eyes told her everything she needed to know.
He had seen them together.
Chapter Five
Avalyn paused to collect herself, gazing steadily into Inglesbatch’s round face. She had known William a long time and until today, they’d had a close and pleasant relationship. She crossed her arms, both defensively and protectively.
“How much have you seen?” she asked with resignation.
He was struggling not to judge. “Enough, my lady.”
“Are you going to tell my uncle?”
“I should.”
“Please don’t.”
He sighed heavily. The knight she had known for ten years relaxed and the man she had personally known came through, with the concern a brother would have shown. “May I ask a question, my lady?”
“Aye.”
“Candidly?”
“Aye.”
His jaw flexed. “Knowing the events of this morning, knowing that your aunt and uncle have forbid you to have any further contact with d’Aurilliac, still you steal out here in the dark of night to rendezvous with him? What are you thinking?”
She tried not to appear too defensive. “I do not want to marry Aubrey. I cannot.”
William wasn’t trying to be cruel; he was truly trying to help her. “That has nothing to do with your… your clandestine meeting with d’Aurilliac. Do you know anything about that man? Well, do you?”
“I know something of him.”
“Aye, from a sanitized view,” he continued when she opened her mouth to protest. “Do you know that d’Aurilliac is a man so feared that even the knights are hesitant to tangle with him? They call him ‘The Monster’. He’s a killing machine, my lady, pure and simple. He has been with Edward for at least twenty five years. He’s seen service in battle with your uncle’s armies and against them, ripping men apart with his bare hands and creating more carnage than I will mention in the presence of a lady.”
Avalyn gazed back at him, doubt in her expression, perhaps a little fear. “Have you ever seen evidence of this?”
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