by Sara Hooper
The girls in the audience screamed their approval.
Alice felt as if she were sinking into the earth.
“And Alice…”
She looked at the feet that were supposed to lead her everywhere. Alice was starting to resign herself to the reality of coming so far and falling too short. She felt a hand brush against the back of her arm and quickly looked back to know the source of the touch.
Peter was smiling at her.
“Alice and Jordan.”
Jordan took her hand for the crowd. He beamed at the prospect of what was coming next. It would turn out right for him. The cute boy was about to ascend the throne to the second chance while Alice would have to dance back to Penn Station and struggle towards home and…
“Alice.”
Here it was. Alice closed her eyes and prepared for the inevitable. She wanted Peter’s hand in hers.
“Alice Rogers is coming back next week!”
She didn’t hear the groans or the claps. Jordan’s hand fell from hers. Alice opened her eyes and saw him stomp a few feet away in frustration. There were other hands that clasped her shoulders. She looked to see Darlene and Louis and Mortimer offering congratulations. Porter Cole applauded warmly. Marissa Michaels’ claps were stiffer. Alice didn’t care. She was moving on! There was still a chance that she’d grab the grand prize. Suddenly everything seemed possible.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, your top ten!”
The group left standing cheered. Alice couldn’t help but look for Peter. He was still present but too many places away from her.
“Come back next week, people!” The Shark said. “Cause we’re about to shake things up.”
Alice finally caught Peter’s gaze. He raised his eyebrows and smiled. She nervously turned her attention back to the audience.
What was coming next?
More Than A Competitor
Alice had to rehearse. Minnie Riperton had been used and was done. “Bolero” had strictly been her audition piece. She flicked through her iPod in search of the perfect piece of music to score a winning performance. She settled on Madonna’s “Holiday.” It was simple and precise. The lack of lyrics would only highlight the moves she would use to fill in the gaps.
She chanced upon the rehearsal space just before dawn. The lack of the other surviving acts gave her the chance to observe every angle of her body in the mirrors without interlopers. Her braids were spent, and she thought of chopping them off to highlight the curve of her neck for the impending audience. A set of eyes clouded her imagining. Alice straightened and turned to see Leticia Shore in the doorway.
“All good?” she asked.
Alice quickly nodded and smoothed her hands down her tights. “Yes. Sorry. Am I not supposed…?”
Leticia cut her off with a quick flick of her hand. “Relax, baby. You are. I’m really glad you were saved.”
Alice believed Leticia. At that moment, relaxing meant one hand on one hip and the flex of a foot that could not fall flat. Leticia circled her and finally patted her shoulder. The touch led Alice to exhale and hang her hands at her sides. Leticia completed her round and lifted Alice’s eyes to hers.
“I see something in you. Something special.”
Alice had heard similar praise before. When it was coming from her mother or Miss Evelyn, it was sweet. Yet it was hollow. Of course they would applaud her efforts before she even hit the spotlight. Leticia Shore didn’t have to bow or acknowledge, but she was celebrating Alice before she had won a single prize.
And she was sincere. “Ms. Shore?”
Leticia pressed her hands to her hips and smiled. “I see something very special here, Alice.”
She soaked it in. Being special was all she had ever wanted. The possibility of turning that into victory was even sweeter. Alice kept her gaze focused as she waited for Leticia’s next words.
“Do you want this?”
She did. More than anything.
Peter slipped into her mind for a second, and Alice quickly pushed the thought of him away.
Since the latest elimination, he had been a hard man to find. Alice longed to really talk to him about his impressions of the results. Did he understand just why she was still standing? Was it something in her moves or her eyes? Alice believed that Peter would tell her the real deal. But he had made himself scare. Alice even returned to the roof in the hope of encountering him once more, but Peter was nowhere to be found. He was keeping his rehearsal space under wraps.
“Do you, Alice?”
She nodded. Leticia smiled and took her hand. “I know you do. Keep that fire burning.”
When Pentagon was on top, no one could touch them. After two years of hits, the girls disbanded. Leticia had shared lead vocals with Desiree Allen. Desiree had gone on to a successful solo career. The other points of the Pentagon were forgotten. Leticia was in danger of joining those ranks for good when she reinvented herself as a Yahoo music correspondent. Her smile, bright as ever, had attracted the attention of the networks, and she was invited to guest host on Coffee with Paul and Brianne while Brianne was on an endless maternity leave. Alice recalled watching the program with a feeling of sadness. She had always preferred Leticia’s tones, and it seemed she had fallen so far. But now Leticia was the face of a ratings extravaganza, and in the few free moments when Alice scanned her news feed, she had learned that Leticia had her own solo record deal in the works. She had kept the fire burning, and now her second chance was close enough to taste.
It was all about compromise.
Leticia patted Alice’s cheek and turned on her heel as she left. Alice extended her arms and prepared to dance again. She could feel the music, and then she felt something else. She expected Leticia again as she opened her eyes.
Alice jumped out of her skin when she saw Peter at her back.
“What the---?”
“Sorry, sorry. Shouldn’t have snuck up like that.”
As glad as she was to finally see him again, he had scared her. That wasn’t fair. She moved to punch his arm.
Peter backed away and laughed. “Whoa! Nice to see you, too! Were you like a prizefighter in another life or something?”
Alice had her own questions. “Where have you been?” she asked.
Peter wrapped his fingers behind his head. “Around. Working it out. How you doing?”
Alice sighed and relaxed to the floor. She made a show of stretching as her skin quivered at the reality of his eyes on her again. What did he see when he looked at her? The obvious answer was more material for his act. If nothing else, Peter was a skilled observer.
As she reached for her toes, Alice realized that she wanted Peter to see her as something more than a competitor. Maybe he would have if she hadn’t shown her cards on the train. Alice desperately wanted to take that moment back. It seemed impossible, and she felt doomed to play his adversary.
Peter slid to the floor and placed his hand on her shoulder. Alice hoped that he didn’t feel her shiver.
“Alice?”
Her head fell to her knees.
“Alice?”
She looked up at him. He was ruggedly handsome in his own way, worn but just in need of some tender care. Alice could hardly believe that she was entertaining the notion of pressing his body to hers. He would feel good, and she would be beyond vulnerable.
It was better to learn what he knew. “What does shake things up mean?” she asked.
“Interesting. Arnold and I were just discussing that last night.”
So Arnold was Peter’s Leticia. “What did he say?”
Peter smirked before he responded. “Told me to think outside of the box.”
“What do you think that means?”
“I hear it’s game-change time, my lady.”
Arnold had obviously been more forthcoming than Leticia.
“So… so what?”
Peter just shook his head.
“Peter! Tell me.”
“I don’t know. Maybe it means we all swap acts.”
/> Swap acts? Seriously?! Had she really trained and worked this hard only have to trade her moves for a plate of burgers or a lump of clay? If that was the case, then all she could cling to was the knowledge that Darlene couldn’t dance and Marissa had stumpy legs.
“But… but I only know how to dance. How can I win if…?”
“Beats me! I certainly can’t dance.”
She remembered their waltz. There was something to this particular observation, but she didn’t need to rub it in.“Peter, that’s not true.”
“You would know, my lady. And you know something else?”
What else?
“I still think I can beat you.”
Just when she wanted to like him, he made like a jerk, and Alice found herself detesting him all over again. He wasn’t Marissa Michaels arrogant, but he still seemed pretty sure when all he really had was a chance to shine that was practically identical to hers.
“You can? Then why haven’t you?”
“What?”
“Why are you even here? Why haven’t you wowed crowds? Why aren’t network execs falling over each other to offer you a pilot?”
Alice watched him start to talk, but Peter stopped himself. She wondered if she had hit a chord. Was there a missed chance in his past that stung deeper than her words? Once again Alice wanted to take everything back. Why was she so brutal with him? It would never occur to her to stuff Darlene’s face while she slept or snap Mortimer’s neck in an attempt to destroy Louis. But sparring with Peter was a sport she was unable to resist.
“I… I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry.”
Peter studied her face. What was he thinking? Did he hate her, too? Or did he know that she wasn’t thinking before she spoke because of the strange effect he had on her? Alice felt her face grow hot as she hoped for the latter.
“You’re right. You shouldn’t have,” he said simply.
She had to get away from his eyes, and she left his side for the barre. She glanced at the mirror and saw him staring. Alice closed her eyes and struggled to tune his presence out. It was a losing battle when his fingers grazed her shoulders.
Alice couldn’t move.
“I have your number, Alice.”
Her heart skipped at those words. She slowly turned to him. What did he taste like? Alice imagined stale smoke and aging coffee. And she wanted that. Peter’s breath came over her in expected waves.
Alice tried to kiss him. She nearly had her lips around his when he pulled way at the last moment. She reached for his departing back and nearly fell to the floor. Peter looked back over his shoulder. He reached into his breast pocket and lit a cigarette.
“Break the rules much?” she asked, pointing at the No Smoking sign.
He barely nodded as he exhaled.
“When I can. See? You really don’t know anything about me,” he said. The smoke stung Alice’s eyes, and she struggled to wipe it away. It was too late, and she blinked back tears.
She didn’t know anything about him?
Alice could play his game.
“And you think you know me? Then know this. I’m…”
He blew another stream of smoke in her face. Alice coughed and closed her eyes. When she regained the gift of sight, she saw Peter laughing as he continued to smoke.
“Enlighten me, Alice.”
She was ready to rise to the challenge.
“Peter Brandt…”
His full name seemed appropriate for what she was about to say. Alice was able to clasp his free hand in hers. Her flesh tingled at the touch, but she forced the sensation from her mind and kept speaking.
“I’m not you. I’m not a washed up…”
Peter drew her so close that Alice was sure he intended to lift her off the ground. She was ready for flight when he pushed her back, his hands still wound about her wrists.
“And maybe I am. So look.”
He turned her to the mirror. Alice trembled as his hands moved to her waist. He smoked again and let the fog drift down her chest. She wanted to cough again but simply held the clean air that she could find in her lungs as his hands moved from her middle to her breasts. What would Ms. Evelyn say if she knew a dirty old man had his paws on that part of her precious girl?
In spite of herself, Alice didn’t mind his hands there.
“Look.”
All of her attention returned to the mirror. They were a mismatched set. Peter stood a head taller and a shade lighter. His pale blue gaze carried years of rejection in direct opposition to her dark, hopeful eyes. Alice saw him stamp out his cigarette on the hard wood as he pulled her closer. She felt as if she would faint.
“So many possibilities.”
That sounded beautiful. Alice wanted to be the girl that could do anything. Peter dragged his lips across her neck. His slightest kiss made her believe that victory was within her grasp.
“Everything’s good when you’re young. Make no mistake, that’s helping you.”
When his mouth left her skin, she felt alone again, despite the nearness of his body. Alice reached over her head and tried to hold his neck. At the very last second, he slipped away and started for the door. Alice’s eyes stayed on the mirror.
“Show night?” she said in a bid to keep him with her for a few more seconds.
He turned back. Now his smile was less sure, sadder, and he politely bowed as he opened the door. “See you there. And beyond I bet. But only one act can win.” He winked. “But I’ll look out for you. No sabotage here, my lady.”
And with that he was gone. Alice sank to the ground. Would she really have to wait until everything was live to see him again? It seemed unbearable. It… it…
No!
Alice had her own act and a job to do. She had been spared the walk of shame because she was that good. She had to cling to that as she wiped her face clean of tears and sweat and returned her attention to the mirror. She had to win. A new life was just a pirouette away.
Still, Alice wanted him to come back.
The Final Ten
Alice danced, and Peter joked. He worked in a bit about girls that had to have it before bemoaning his fate as the one guy who couldn’t give it. Alice smiled as the audience laughed.
She couldn’t help but feel that she was the only one who really got the joke.
Peter returned to the wings and reached for a bottle of water. Alice kept all of her gaze on him as he drank. When he saw her looking, he swallowed and smiled.
“You like?” he asked.
Alice turned her head from his eyes and started to depart. As she moved, she expected his fingers to mingle with her hands. When his touch did not come, Alice looked back to see him finishing his water. She started to speak when another hand found her wrist and pulled her deeper into the wings.
Darlene.
“What is this?” she asked.
Darlene’s clothes were covered with bits of toast and bacon. “Why are we doing this? For what?”
Alice could see she was terrified that her breakfast bonanza had fallen flat since no numbers to call or text were mentioned after each performance.
Maybe the joke was on all of them, and they were about to be called out for unattainable ambitions while a new crop of acts, unseen until this moment, prepared to gather the votes that Darlene, Peter and Alice so desperately craved.
The Shark called every act out. Alice fell into line beside Peter as they moved into the light.
She wanted to hold his hand.
They were all spent as the crowd hollered at the group’s collective presence. Louis made Mortimer bow, and Alice saw Marissa Michaels already grabbing the prize in her mind while there was no evidence that this was the finale.
“Alright, alight, alright! So here’s the story, people!” The Shark held the crowd and Alice in total suspense. “No one goes home tonight!”
The competitors lowered their eyes and moved to hug each other in the wake of The Shark’s announcement. Darlene slapped Alice’s shoulder and kissed Mortimer f
ull on his wooden mouth. Alice looked to Peter. He was clapping with everyone else. Alice kept her eyes on him. She willed him to look at her. When Peter’s gaze met her eyes, Alice smiled and wanted him to share in her excitement.
Peter’s mouth moved to her ear. “Wait for it. Something’s about to go down.”
What did he know? What did he think he knew?
Alice moved to take his hand but Peter stepped out of reach. She had to resign herself to loneliness in the face of so many.
“So here’s the deal,” the Shark continued. “Your Final Ten is about to become Fives!”
Wait. What?
“That’s right, Ladies and Gentlemen. “We are pairing these people up! We have five new acts. You wanna see who goes with whom?”
The cheers were deafening,
“Okay, people.”
Alice was mentally figuring her chances of survival as Ella Miles was paired with Randy’s Rovers and Darlene left her side to join the Ten and Out.
Marissa Michaels moved to Kevin’s side. He looked petrified. How did that make sense? It seemed too quiet an act.
Porter Cole pumped his fists into the air as he got Louis and Mortimer.
So…
“And Dancing Alice better make Peter Brandt laugh!”
Now Peter looked her. He cocked his eyebrow and held out his hand. As much as Alice wanted his touch, this way seemed fatal. Banking on Peter was not part of the plan. But she had to smile and take his hand. He held hers up to the crowd.
Peter? Seriously? His act had its merits, but what was she supposed to do now? Just twirl around while he made jokes? It wouldn’t mesh. It was bound to blow up in both of their faces.
Alice was already imagining her exit interview. And his. Part of her thought that both of them deserved a better hand. She did because she’d worked so hard for this and he did… he did because she’d sabotaged him from the start.If she was paired with Darlene or had the orchestra at her back, Alice could just dance. It might have served her better to have arrived at Marissa’s side and turn and twist as Marissa whittled Starry Night out of cardboard. But she was tied to Peter. Hours earlier, it was all she had wanted. Then, her future was a singular stake. But now all she needed was inexorably linked to whatever he would do.