by Sara Hooper
“We were practicing. I hit the shower. And he was… and now I can’t… I can’t do this without him! Alice, I’m totally screwed!”
For the briefest of seconds, Alice shared his panic, but then her eyes fell on the new doll. “Louis, it’s okay. You… you obviously have this other…”
“It’s not the same. My whole rhythm will be off. He’s never even rehearsed with us.”
He did realize that Mortimer was basically a doll, right?
Louis continued to sputter as Alice’s mind tried to connect the dots. Peter missing was one thing. Peter and Mortimer? Something else was going on.
Porter Cole appeared freshly showered and shaved. His bright smile fell as quickly as it unfolded when he saw that his act had a new member. “Man? Where’s Mort? What…?”
“I don’t know what happened to him!”
“What do you mean you don’t…?”
“And I can’t find Peter. You know. A person,” Alice said. “Guys, I…”
They all fell silent as Marissa brushed past them in a state of total triumph. She didn’t look back as Kevin trudged behind Marissa. He slipped a bit of napkin into Alice’s open palm and kept moving. Alice looked at the flimsy paper and read the words carefully.
Try the basement.
“What is it?” Louis asked.
Alice showed them the message. Louis’ panic turned to rage, and he started for the elevator.
Porter reached for his arm. “Man, what are you…?”
“Don’t you get it? She did something to them. She’s not taking any chances!”
“So just use this one.”
“It’s not the same…”
Porter roughly grabbed Louis by his collar. “Man, it’s fine. Just do it like we practiced with… what’s this one’s name?”
“Ned,” Louis said sadly.
“Fine. Ned, Porter. Great to meet you. Now let’s go.” He was already dragging Louis and Ned to the door. “We’ll make it work. We’ll find your little buddy after we win.”
They left Alice alone. Porter and Louis had the luxury of taking the stage with a utility player and still wowing the judges, but Alice didn’t have another body tucked away in her suitcase. Even if she did, she didn’t want to dance with anyone but Peter.
She took the elevator down to the lowest level of the hotel and stepped into a dank basement that reeked of trash and fumes. Alice held the last trace of good breath that she could find and walked past baskets of laundry. They held her full attention until she tripped over something and fell to the ground.
Alice shook off the blow and found her hands clasping a wooden leg. In an instant she knew that this should be attached to Mortimer. And it wasn’t. But Mortimer, for all the life that Louis breathed into him, was a puppet. Peter was a man. Where was he? What had happened…?
“Peter!”
She opened a heavy door and looked into even greater darkness. A grinding sound nearly sent her back when she heard the one thing she wanted most.
“Alice?”
She forgot all fear and hurried down the steps. He was there. He had to be there. He…
“Peter!”
She saw him bound and having choked out a gag as Mortimer, deprived of two legs. lay at his side.
Alice fell to the ground and started to undo his bonds. “Peter! Are you okay?”
She released him and felt his arms around her. He was hurt, and she never wanted him that way. Not ever again.
“Right as rain, my lady.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t even know. I went back to my room. I…” He hissed in pain as Alice touched the back of his head.
“You’ve been hit,” she said.
“Well I already figured that much out. How did you know…?”
She told him about Kevin and showed him the amputated form that was now Mortimer.
“Wow. Lucky for Darlene that she went home. Think she’d have been able to take out the entire orchestra?”
Alice would think about that later as she helped Peter to his feet. She started to lead him from the dank dark when she remembered Mortimer. Maybe she could get him to the show on time, too. Louis would be supremely grateful and…
“Oww!”
She had stumbled to the ground and instantly knew that her ankle had twisted in the worst way under her body.
“Alice? What is it?”
“I don’t… nothing. Just help me up.”
She would work through it, walk it off. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as she…
The second she tried to put the slightest bit of weight on her left leg, it gave out again.
Peter kept her from falling. “You’re hurt,” he said.
“It’s okay. I’m fine. Just give me a…”
She tried to stand and failed again.
Forget Louis. They were beyond screwed. Alice sank to Mortimer’s side. She might as well have had her legs sawed off.
Peter knelt beside her and started to massage her ankle.
“You’re not fine,” he said. Alice bit her lip and started to cry. They had come this far only to be foiled. Rational thought dictated that Marissa would be disqualified once the stunt was revealed, but even that didn’t seem to matter. Alice couldn’t perform, and she doubted that the judges’ sympathy would translate into a reprieve. The show wasn’t scheduled that way.
It was over.
Alice wiped the tears from her eyes as Peter started to laugh.
“What is funny about this?” she spit.
“I don’t know. My head’s busted, your leg’s broken.”
“It is not broken, Peter.”
“I just mean that we’re perfectly matched. Guess we always have been.”
She slowly smiled through her tears and got the joke.
“You know,” he started, “you didn’t have to come after me. You could have gone for help or…”
Alice stopped him with a kiss. “I wasn’t about to leave you behind again.”
Peter’s face sharpened into a plan. He placed Mortimer and the one leg they had found in Alice’s lap then scooped her up into his arms.
“Peter, what are you…?”
“We’ve got a show to do.”
Swift Justice
Peter carried her from the basement. When the eyes in the lobby saw them dirty and sweating, they gasped. As strange a sight as they were, it was nothing compared to the double amputee that was Mortimer tucked in Alice’s arms. They hit the street to hail a cab, and a driver pulled up to the curb. Alice worried that he would speed away at the sight of this strange trio.
“Hey! You’re from that show!”
Thank the heavens for the power of D-List celebrity!
“That’s right,” Peter said.
“What are you doing here? Isn’t this your big night?”
“It won’t be if we don’t get where we need to be,” Peter said. “Give us a lift?”
He reached into his pocket to find the bills that would serve as a bonus if the driver ignored every rule of safety and got them there in triple time. His pockets were empty, and Alice had nothing.
“Hey, no worries. On the house. Climb on in.” The cabbie was either the nicest man to ever drive for a fare or the most dedicated fan that any reality competition had ever seen.
“If you step on it,” Alice said, “we’ll get you backstage. You can watch the whole thing go down live.”
Peter gently nudged her ribs. “You can’t promise that.”
They ran through a red light and left a cacophony of blaring horns and screeching brakes in the dust.
“He doesn’t have to know that.”
Peter smiled and shook his head. “When this is done, no more cabs for you. You’re like a viper with them.”
He could tease all he wanted, but Alice knew that he appreciated her efforts.
They arrived at the theater in less time than it would take to cross a street. The cabbie and Peter helped Alice as she hobbled towards the stage door.
>
Peter had obviously called it when they ran into a stagehand. “Hey! What’s this? He doesn’t have clearance.”
“He’s… he’s part of the act,” Peter said.
“Guys, come on.”
“Seriously,” Alice said.
The stagehand flipped through the notes on his clipboard. “Well no one told me. Now if you could just…”
Thinking fast, Alice swatted him back with Mortimer’s lost leg. “Come on!” she cried out.
They burst through the stage door. Every few steps, Alice’s sprained ankle hit the ground. Each time she winced, Peter tried to hold her up higher.
They turned the corner for the wings with the stagehand in pursuit. “Get back here! What do you think you’re…?”
Alice looked around and saw the other stagehands, the crew, even The Shark stare at them with bulging eyes. She could already hear the judges praising Marissa over the loudspeaker for another masterpiece. If only they knew what she could really do when she was truly inspired.
She was nearly spent when she saw Porter and Louis awaiting their turn. Louis held Ned away from his nose like he was a dirty diaper.
Even if she couldn’t dance, she could make him smile. “Louis!”
He turned his head and saw Alice holding his secret weapon towards him. Louis unceremoniously let Ned fall to the ground and reached for Mortimer as if he was a lost child returned after a close call in a shopping mall. “Mortimer!”
Louis wrapped the dummy up in his arms and literally jumped for joy. Porter Cole tried to play it off like his partner was crazy, but Alice could see him relieved now that his act was whole again.
“Where did you…?”
Before Alice could answer, the stagehand and two of his cohorts pulled Peter and the cabbie away from Alice. Without their support, she slipped to the ground and cried out it pain.
“Alice! Alice, you okay?”
She looked over her shoulder and saw Peter struggling in the stagehand’s grip. “Get off me, man. Let me go.”
Alice felt another pair of arms roughly pulling her to her feet, but she couldn’t stand. She screamed out as her injured ankle was pressed into the floor.
“Leave her alone!” Peter said. “She’s hurt.”
“So’s Mortimer!” Everyone stopped as Louis examined his puppet’s lack of legs.
Alice still had one of them in her grasp, and as she slipped back to her knees, she offered it to Louis.
He studied the leg then the break then the leg again. “I can fix this,” he said.
Porter looked at what was left of Mortimer. “But it’s not like he can’t perform, right?”
“Of course he can, He’s a pro!”
Alice was breathing hard and sweating harder. Peter broke free of the stagehand and lifted her off the ground.
“What’s the deal here?” The Shark asked.
More applause poured through the loudspeaker. Marissa had to think that she was on the cusp of victory for reasons beyond her talent. Alice leaned into The Shark’s ear and told him what had gone down.
He pulled away from her with a look of total disbelief on his face. “Give me a break! That’s insane.”
She couldn’t believe that he wasn’t getting it. What more proof did he need? She was hurt, Peter was hurt, and Mortimer was maimed. The acts in the wings wouldn’t have arranged this. What good did it do them?
“It’s true!” she protested. “Kevin… Kevin told me where to look for them.”
“Now why would he do that?”
“Because… I don’t know! Because he has a conscience? He knew we had to stop her! She’s insane! She’s…”
Alice’s voice left her as Marissa and Kevin appeared.
The artiste gasped when she saw them. “What’s all this?” she asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible. It was a look that she could not pull off.
“You know,” Alice said. “Couldn’t stand the chance that we would beat you. So you kidnap Peter?”
“And what about this?” Louis angrily asked.
He still had no grasp on the fact that Peter could have been killed and Mortimer was just a toy.
Marissa laughed. “I have absolutely no idea---”
“Well I do!” Kevin’s voice silenced everyone. He grabbed Marissa’s wrist.
“What do you think you’re---?”
He dragged her back to center stage, and The Shark swiftly followed. The audience thought they had returned for a second bow, but when Kevin roughly threw Marissa to the ground, they quickly realized that the game had changed.
“Forfeit!” he yelled. Everyone seemed shocked at the sound of his voice.
Kevin pointed towards the wings and drifted back into mime mode. The force of his finger dragged Peter and Alice to center stage. The crowd erupted at the sight of second place invading first place’s action. Clinging to Peter, Alice watched Marissa Michaels struggle to her feet and grab the mike.
“He’s crazy!” she screamed as she pointed towards Kevin. He stayed silent as Peter eased Alice into Porter Cole’s suddenly waiting arms. He took the mike from Marissa and spoke to the masses.
“The winner in waiting didn’t trust the candy art. Needed something else. Something that she doesn’t have. A heart.”
Peter looked to Alice, and she smiled as his eyes flashed with a kind of victory.
Then he turned back to the crowd.
“Ladies and gentleman, we did not choose to be late to the show. And I have a bump on the noggin and rope burns to prove the point.”
When Peter twisted his damaged body to the audience, the theater filled with sighs and gasps. Alice left Porter’s hold and stood at Peter’s side. His arms held her fast as Marissa started to plead her case.
“It’s not true! They’re just lacking. Why would America pick a has-been and a would-be when I’m here?”
Marissa reverted to her marbles. Even though he stayed silent, Kevin quieted her intentions with a quick smack of his hand. Without the support of putty, the marbles spilled off the stage, and every person in the front row had to lift their feet to avoid the cascade.
“What are you doing?” Marissa demanded of Kevin.
He took the mike and spoke again.
“Marissa Michaels didn’t believe in the act.”
Kevin narrowed his eyes at the judges.
“She thought your choice was beneath her skill. So she made her own choice.”
He looked to Peter as he kept Alice in his arms.
“The comic doesn’t lie. I’ll pay a price for dispatching him and tying him down.”
The crowd started to boo, and Alice moved closer to Peter. They weren’t the ones in the headlights of the angry mob, but she was still scared.
“I got you, my lady,” Peter whispered.
Alice sank into his side.
Marissa wasn’t as calm.
“I had to do something! You might have put them through. But I deserve this. I deserve to win!”
That excuse would never work. No one wanted to award the grand prize to someone who thought that they were entitled to the spoils. It was always the humble, shuffling sorts that caught the audience’s sympathetic eye.
Boos and cries of injustice filled Marissa’s shattering mind. She was dragged from the stage as she protested without realizing how little she understood of the human condition or show business. Kevin followed slowly but not sadly. Alice imagined him taking his punishment and writing a tell-all that would give him his own taste of success even as he was led away from the angry stage.
“Okay. Wow! Guess we’re gonna need… security. Or… or something. Cut to commercial!”
As Marissa was carted off amidst a series of protests. Alice had to smirk. Marissa suddenly made a move to slice her nails across her face. Alice ducked to avoid the blow as Peter shoved Marissa away.
“You stay away from the dummy’s legs and her face.”
The cabbie removed his cap and wiped his brow. “Wow. It really is better live.�
��
When the show came back, The Shark confirmed what had happened. The judges voiced their mutual disgust in the face of Marissa’s antics.
“That is not the kind of thing that we’re promoting,” Wesley said.
But they were promoting the chances of two injured acts to make a splash.
Alice watched Porter and Louis and Mortimer do their thing. The lack of legs did nothing to hamper the modern spin on “If I Were a Bell.” Mortimer could still interrupt Porter’s rap with the repeated cry of ringing as Porter spoke of lottery winnings, sexual conquests, and every other imaginable situation where a man would want to make like a bell.
“If I’m being honest, you guys have nothing on our previous act,” Wesley said. “But unless you’re about to be arrested, this will be tough to beat.”
Especially since Alice was lost without her legs.
Peter helped her to the stage, and the audience showed their sympathy with sighs as she tried to maintain her balance.
“So, guys. What’s it going to be?” Leticia asked.
Alice leaned closer to Peter as he called for their music. On some level it made sense that he would skip to the end of their act. There was no way that she could leap over the trunk and collapse into a split… She couldn’t even stand. How was she supposed to waltz…?
“Put your arms around my neck,” he whispered.
“Peter…”
“Just trust me.”
Alice obeyed and placed her arms where he wanted them. His hands went to her waist, and he lifted her off the ground.
Without Alice’s lead, he was even clumsier than he had been on the roof. Having to hold her upright and against him wasn’t helping matters. The audience was silent as he spun her around. She knew they were waiting for something spectacular or disastrous. Either way, Alice knew they weren’t winning, but she wasn’t about to go down without a fight.
“Stop.”
“Alice? No.”
“I’m serious. Put me down.”
She watched his face fall in what he had to take for total surrender. Peter lowered her to the ground but kept his hands on her waist so she wouldn’t lose the little bit of footing that she had at her disposal.
Alice turned her head from his and looked into the crowd. “Passengers,” she said. She shot Peter a quick glance over her shoulder. “On a train. You ever been stuck with one of these jerks? They’re on their phones. No one cares what they have to say. No one bought a ticket for their show. But this passenger is a comedian. He wants someone to notice. Someone to laugh.”