by Kira Stüssy
So why would he be wrong now?
Mirabelle rose to her feet, gripping a couple tubes of lip gloss as if she was going to pelt the intruder with them. Ash stifled a chuckle as he thought of that first night, when she had chucked a shirt full of apples at him and Erion. He made a mental note to teach her better self defense in the near future.
“Who’s there?” She called out, voice shaky.
Ash, knowing he could hide in the dark no longer, set his jaw and flung himself into her room, assuring himself that he had nothing to lose.
*
Fear clenched the insides of my stomach.
I had heard someone creeping up the staircase but the squeaky floorboard was a dead giveaway. I thought at first it might have been Iris, searching for consolation from a nightmare (she had been having a lot of those lately) or maybe Caspian just wanting to talk. But when the person hovered behind my door suspiciously, I grew worried that this was no friend to me.
In desperation for any sort of weapon, I snatched some tubes of lip gloss, which I had never so much as opened, and prepared to launch them at the intruder, whoever they might be. “Who’s there?” I tried to sound forceful but I could hear the quaver in my voice. I cursed myself for being afraid.
Out of nowhere, the door whipped open and without thinking I threw one of the metal sticks with all of my might, praying it would fly straight and nail the target right in the…
“HOLY CRAP!” Ash slapped his hand to his cheek and clenched his teeth in pain.
“Oh! I’m so sorry! I thought you were a murderer or something.”
“Yeah, because there are loads of that sort running around here aren’t there?”
I thought of the girl on the university steps. “You never know.”
“Remind me to never underestimate your choice in ammo again, will you?”
I ushered him to the couch by the empty fireplace and rushed to grab him a wet towel. I started to get a distinct headache, probably from all the stress. When I returned from the bathroom, an impressive fire had been lit in the hearth and Ash no longer rubbed his cheek. A sizable red spot bloomed, clearly visible, just below his cheek bone.
I handed him the towel but he merely took it in his hands and fiddled with it with a mumbled “Thanks”. It was then that I noticed that he wore a tank, which not only accentuated his well defined arms, but also revealed his Knowledge. I could not help but gawk at the gorgeously crafted black feathered wings that peered out from behind. Each black feather shimmered slightly with a glint of fiery orange. I always tried to avoid staring at them, but the flickering firelight, with the light bouncing off his opaque feathers, made it very difficult not to.
I sat down beside him and stared into the fire, watching the flames flicker and lick the logs, so alive and free. The blaze reminded me of dancers as it flitted from one space to the next in no time at all and with a magnificent amount of grace.
“Again, I’m really sorry.”
“Well, you passed the ‘surprise assault’ part of your training, congratulations.”
The orange and red fire lit up his pitch colored eyes.
“What are you doing here, Ash?”
He shrugged, “Just wondering how your date went.”
I gulped, thinking about the terrifying advice Roman had given me. As I stared at Ash and took in his beautifully playful features and chiseled form, all the anger I had been pitting against him all day slowly melted away. I tried to hang on to my resolve, but it proved a difficult thing to do when he sat so close, with the wonderfully unnatural warmth emanating from his body indicating his power.
“It was fine. I don’t think it’s going to work out, though. Not like that.”
He lifted his head ever so slightly, still not looking directly at me. I watched the black feathers ruffle a little, orange light reflecting off the fire. I glanced back at my own Knowledge, having changed into a more comfortable open back dress after the date, and decided that his was lovelier. Much lovelier.
“Ash, it’s actually good that you’re here. I wanted to apologize for how I’ve been acting. I really do appreciate you bringing up those meals for me and if you don’t want to talk about your Knowledge, I guess I can deal with it. It’s your business.”
“Mirabelle…” he broke off, the strain on his face relative to someone trying to swallow a large pill. Saying sorry wasn’t an easy thing for me to do, but I did. And if this was his attempt to do the same…
A renewed frustration surged through me, “Why is it so difficult for you to say sorry? Can’t you just gulp down your pride for, like, two seconds and just admit you were a jerk? Is that so hard?”
He bound to his feet with a look of such intensity, I almost fell backwards looking at him. His black Knowledge spread out and raised slightly as he stood, making him resemble an avenging angel with fire in his eyes. He stepped close to me, closer than we had ever been, face to face. He stared down into my eyes in a way nobody ever had before, without any reservation or remorse. His eyes seemed to search mine desperately, as if trying to see if there was something specific waiting there for him to read.
“Ash I…”
“Mirabelle, I need to say something and I really need you to just listen, okay?”
I nodded.
He drew in a shaky breath, “I’m sorry, not just for my behavior today, but for how I’ve acted since the day we met. You need to know that I’m dangerous, and while that is no excuse, it is my reasoning for acting the way I have. I know that if I let people get too close, bad things will happen. I need you to understand this. And honestly, I would accept it if you hated me because of the way I have treated you.” His eyes never left mine as we spoke even though I could tell he wished to avert his gaze, to look anywhere else.
Tentatively, I raised my hand to his reddened cheek, feeling the mild burning sensation that came with direct contact with him, “I want to hate you.”
He chuckled, hurt leaking into his expression, “Understandably.”
“But I can’t.”
He stopped smiling, “Mirabelle, I don’t think you get it.”
“Oh I get it, alright,” I stepped a little closer so we were only an inch apart, “You push people away because you’re a ‘bad guy’ or whatever. I know that, and most of the time you’re so freaking rude that I’m tempted to oblige. And most of the time, I just want to slap you.”
“Charming.”
“But I can’t hate you.” I whispered, “I’ve tried.”
“I’m a mean person by nature, you know.”
“That’s obvious.”
“I like causing chaos, I thrive on the discomfort of others, and I feel pleasure in other’s petty sufferings.”
“None of this is new, Ash.”
“And you still don’t hate me? After all of that?” I shook my head and he breathed out, “Mirabelle, I came here to tell you something and I have every intention to do so even if it is not reciprocated. The truth is that from the day you slammed the apple into Erion’s perfectly shaped head, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. Even when you are screaming at me or being dreadfully sarcastic, all I can think is that you are the most amazing person I have ever met. And I don’t know why, but when you went on that date tonight, it upset me more than I thought possible. I have tried to stop caring but you make that impossible, darn you. I’m feeling things I didn’t think I could feel and it’s all your fault.”
My heart had stopped beating a while back. I was so lost in his gaze that I couldn’t be sure I would ever come back. His hands were on my shoulders now, holding me against him. My heart ached strangely, a feeling I had never experienced before. It hurt but not in a bad way, in fact, it was wonderful. Amazing and terrifying all at the same time.
I half expected him to come out with some sort of punch line. To yell “JUST KIDDING” and walk away laughing evilly. But he did none of that. His eyes were softer than I had ever seen them, so earnest and sincere. Every ounce of irritation I had ever
felt towards him dissolved into meaningless nothings. When I stared into his eyes, I no longer saw coldness or void. They were filled with such immense warmth that I was sure I could actually feel heat from his stare.
He sucked in another breath and spoke again, “I don’t know why I can’t push you away. I don’t know why I feel so protective over you. And I sure don’t know what’s going on with me. What I do know is that I always think about what it would be like to hold your hand and silly things like that. And I know that you’re something special Mirabelle Daily.”
At a loss for words, something that rarely happened to me, I could only stare. We stood there for a solid minute. I wanted so badly to say something, but nothing would come. My voice had run away. I knew that if I tried to speak, it would come out garbled and choked.
Ash grew more nervous by the second and eventually started to pull away, saying, “I just needed to say that. Goodnight Mirabelle.”
Without thinking, I yanked his arm, forcing him to stay and stood on my tip toes to plant a small kiss on his cheek.
As I sank back down to my normal height he smirked devilishly, his eyes lighting up in that mischievous way that he has as he said, “You missed.”
“What?” I replied, confused.
But before I could give another moment’s thought, he pressed his lips against mine desperately, as if I might run away at any second. I kissed him back, pure elation filling my chest with a happy glow. When we broke apart he murmured, “That’s better, eh?” And I coughed out a short laugh before reaching up and meeting his lips with mine once more.
Chapter 12
The next week flew by like a dream.
Adapting to Nostosian life proved far easier than I ever could have hoped. Ash continued to try and help me with my Knowledge. We were so far unsuccessful but he remained optimistic. Meanwhile, I had started to get painful headaches regularly, a low point in my days, causing me much dizziness and confusion. Caspian, on the other hand, really started to master his water Knowledge, testing my will to hold back jealousy.
Luckily, my All Kingdom classes were reaping far better results and therefore became my favorite. I found that learning about all of the different Kingdoms was highly interesting, especially with Caspian and Roman’s goofy chats in between lectures to keep me entertained. Even though Ash and Erion still sat in the very back of the class with Laurel, the two boys caused enough mayhem to assure that I did not forget their presence.
“Boys!” The Wielding teacher exclaimed, shaking his fist towards the back of the room. Everyone swiveled in their seats to look back to see a small tornado sweeping the back desks, blowing paper and pencils in every direction and causing a couple of Seer girls to shriek in astonishment.
Erion and Ash high-fived and then beamed up at the teacher.
The teacher pointed at them, “Erion, this is your doing?”
Ash spoke up, “Well, sir, you cannot really blame him for this. You see, he was acting under a dare and everyone knows that to back out of a dare marks you as a weenie for the remainder of your school career.”
Erion shook his head, “I had no choice.”
Ash sighed sadly, “Would you really have him succumb to that sort of bullying rather than just go through with the dare? Think on it, sir.”
The teacher, accustomed to their behavior, rolled his eyes, picked his battle wisely, and reluctantly moved on. Meanwhile, Ash leaned over to Erion, most likely planning their next shenanigan.
“Can’t they just give it a rest?” Caspian muttered in my ear and Roman, having heard his comment, nodded.
“They won’t though; they have been at it since I’ve been in school with them.”
I doodled innocently in my notebook, biting my lip uncomfortably as Caspian and Roman continued to complain about the two hooligans in the back and how childish they were. Roman, Caspian and I had started studying together during breaks and a hasty friendship had developed between the three of us. Roman’s jovial personality and kind disposition made him someone that both Caspian and myself enjoyed being around.
Earlier that day, the three of us had been studying outside during lunch. Caspian fled to grab more food, leaving Roman and I alone. As soon as Caspian was out of sight, Roman seized the moment of solitary to bombard me with uncomfortable questions, “So, I never got to ask you...”
“About?”
“Oh don’t play dumb with me. Did you talk to the guy you ‘hate’?”
“Maybe.”
“Are you going to tell me who your affections belong to? Or am I going to have to try and figure it out on my own?”
I promised him that it wasn’t important and that I just wished to keep it to myself for now. He shot me a sly glare but left the topic alone. But I could tell, even when Caspian returned and Roman went back to being his normal cheerful self, that suspicion now twinkled in his eye.
I glanced back unwillingly at Ash who caught my eye and winked. I saw Erion roll his eyes with a smile. He was the only person who knew about our relationship. He and Ash are practically brothers in a way that it would be odd to ever see one without the other. So one of them keeping a secret girl from the other would be absurd. I looked over at Caspian and knew that my brotherly situation was a little different.
The teacher, moving on from the little show put on by Ash and Erion, started the lesson, “So, as you all know, Wielders summon raw energy and are able to manipulate it to do almost whatever they wish. What is it called when a Wielder summons energy for a particular use? Anyone?”
The know-it-all Seer girl, Avery, raised her hand, something she seemed to enjoy doing, “A Cast, sir.”
“That’s correct, Avery.” The girl smiled and the teacher continued, “A Cast is made more powerful when the Wielder speaks an incantation to match the Cast. But most of the time, incantations are not needed, not for everyday Casts.” At this, the teacher lifted his hand for the whole class to see. Out of nowhere, something like blue lightning sprang from his fingers, fizzling there in cobalt sparks. I stared in awe at the harnessed magic. “Also, who can tell me what a Wielder’s Ink means?”
Avery raised her hand again, “A Wielder gains their Ink, a black inscription on their dominant hand, when they have learned to control their Cast. It appears as soon as they have mastered their own power.”
“Excellent!”
In class we had been learning all sorts of things, like the strange mental capabilities of Seers, the physical strength and heightened senses of Shades, the powerful magic of Wielders, and the elegant mastery of nature by the Elementals. I absorbed every bit of information I could. Every Kingdom fascinated me in their own way and I wanted to know everything I could about all of them. I was once again burdened with a dull resentment towards my mother and Bram for not introducing me to this fantastical world earlier in my life, even though I now understood their reasons for withholding such information.
My head was starting to ache and the room started spinning. All of the voices seemed so loud and close. I gritted my teeth in annoyance, wishing everyone would use their inside voices. I attempted to get lost inside my mind, thinking of more ways I could discover my Knowledge and what it meant. You would be surprised how difficult it is to navigate a cluttered mind, even if it is your own.
I was abruptly yanked from my reverie when Caspian spoke to Roman in a hushed tone of concern, “So, how’s your sister doing?”
“Sister?” I muttered, looking from Caspian to Roman.
Roman nodded solemnly, “Did you see the girl who ended up on the front steps outside? That was my sister, Zoë.”
“Oh my…I had no idea.”
“Yeah, she was pretty beaten up, but she’ll be alright.”
I wanted to bonk myself on the head for not knowing this. I had sat beside Roman for weeks now and I had never caught on to this tidbit of information. Good friend I am.
“Do they know what happened to her?”
His blue eyes darkened with clear hatred, “The Legion think
s a couple of goons from Hartrain snagged her up one night and beat her to a pulp before ditching her back on our turf.”
“Hartrain?” I glanced over at Caspian but he only shrugged his shoulders.
“They’re another country hidden from human eyes. They’ve been our enemy for as long as I know of.”
An enemy country? I distantly recalled some of my conversations with Ash about Nostosian politics and vaguely remembered him talking about a place like this. But from the way Ash spoke, he made it sound as if there was some sort of strict treaty that kept the two separate and war free. If Hartrain had broken that pact…
“But she’s alright?” Caspian asked again. Roman nodded but his gaze looked far away. I thought of the random way he had announced to me that he was the Wielding Prince, so casually and without concern. None of that ease could be found in his posture now as he sat rigidly in his seat, a plot in his eyes. The voices were achingly loud now.
Without warning, a rainbow of colors blurred my vision, my head feeling as if it were about to burst. The voices around me grew louder and louder, drowning out all thought. I clutched my head and swiftly sprang from my seat and blurted, “May I be excused?”
I didn’t wait for the startled teacher to respond before running out of the classroom.
*
Mirabelle sprinted out of the classroom clutching her head and practically wheezing.
Ash’s heart stopped.
He tensed in preparation to go help her, but Erion placed a firm hand on his shoulder and pushed him down, “Where do you think you’re going?”
Ash gestured to the door incredulously, “Where do you think?”
“You can’t.”
“What the h…”
“You will just call attention to the both of you,” Erion warned, “and you really can’t afford that right now.”