“She didn’t reject me.” She just doesn’t trust herself around me.
“Either way, two of your men are starting to show low levels of the same pheromones you’re producing. Evidently triggered by the presence of a hyper-fertile woman.”
Hyper-fertile? So…more fertile than Dreyer, on the days she’s locked in the breeding room?
“Our current theory is that the species you were spliced with was highly driven to procreate. Which is no surprise, considering that they appear to have slowly gone extinct over the course of several thousand years. Under that kind of pressure, individuals who survived into the last few generations were probably predisposed through the process of natural selection to pass on their genes at any cost.”
“Meaning that those who survived, survived specifically because they were able to procreate?”
Brennan nods. “No matter the cost.”
Well, that certainly explains the beast’s instinctual drive to claim Lilli. To convince her to “take my seed.” To fuck her all day, every day.
The beast believes that the future of his species—of my species—depends upon it.
“And if you’re unable or unwilling to help us study this phenomenon, I’m going to give someone else a chance.”
“No,” I growl, and Brennan’s brows rise when she hears the change in my voice.
“Justin, note the drop in pitch. The gravelly, aggressive quality of his objection. That’s probably originating from the same laryngeal changes that allow for that thrumming sound…”
“I agree.” Justin taps on his tablet. “I still want to find out whether or not the other female subject displays any physical response to that sound.”
“How are you feeling otherwise? Other than the obvious?” Brennan tosses a clinical look at the erection I can’t seem to get rid of, with Lilli so close, yet completely out of reach. “Make sure you’re drinking plenty of water, to keep up with everything you’re losing in ejaculate.”
Which is her professional way of letting me know she’s seen me jack off several times a day, to keep from pinning Lilli to the nearest wall and reminding her that she wants me, and we both damn well know it.
“Twelve hours,” Brennan says, when I don’t comment on her voyeuristic habits. “After that, I’ll give her to Zamora or Coleman.”
Twelve hours.
I pace up and down the hallway with my fists clenched, inhaling deeply every time I pass Lilli’s room and catch a whiff of her scent.
I have twelve hours to knock her up, or Brennan’s going to give one my men the opportunity to fuck my woman.
They won’t do it. We were in the field together for years. We’ve killed for each other. We would die for each other. Yet…on the playground, during a hunt, when that switch gets flipped, I’d gut any one of them if they came near my kill. Even if I weren’t hungry. Because the kill is mine.
Because in the realm of the hunt, the beast takes over. That’s been true since the day we woke up with seams in our skin and voices in our heads.
Not voices, really. Instincts. Genetic memories and ancestral demands that can’t be ignored, during the hunt. The kill.
The beast feels the same way about Lilli. Somehow, my feelings for her have gotten all tangled up with the beast’s need to claim her, and I’m afraid that if he wrestles the controls from me again, this will not end well. For anyone.
And that’s just my beast. If Brennan locks Lilli up with Zamora or Coleman, their instincts might kick in. Their beasts might want to stake a claim.
They may not be able to control those drives. Either one of them might take her in a lust-fueled frenzy unaware of what’s even happening. And she might like that. Her body might, anyway, the same way it likes me.
But the truth is that it doesn’t matter whether she likes it or not. Whether she wants it or not. If they’re not able to see past that ancestral drive, in the moment, she won’t be able to stop them.
I can’t let that happen.
“You are aware that you’ve been pacing and growling for the better part of an hour, right?”
I spin to find Dreyer watching me, leaning against the door frame to the breeding room. “Did you find a clock somewhere?” I growl at her.
She shrugs. “Feels like an hour.” She glances at the last cell on the right, where Lilli is asleep on her cot. Where—occasionally—she still moans my name and presses her legs together, evidently dreaming of me. “Who exactly are you trying to protect her from? Because none of us would hurt her, and if the scientists come back, there’s nothing you can do to stop them.”
She doesn’t understand.
Several hours have passed since Brennan and her team cleared out, and I’ve spent those hours trying to figure out how to proceed. If I can get Lilli alone, she won’t be able to resist. She needs me as badly as I need her.
She’ll hate me afterward, but that’s better than letting Brennan lock her in with Coleman or Zamora. Especially if they can’t control their beasts.
What if one of them accidentally hurts her?
What if she does wind up pregnant with someone else’s child?
Neither of those scenarios—and they aren’t mutually exclusive—is fair to any of the parties involved. Whichever of them gets locked in with her would hate himself afterward, and she’d hate both of us.
If she has to get pregnant in this fucking lab, it’s damn well going to be by me. But that baby won’t be born here. I’ll die fighting before I let that happen. And if she still doesn’t want a child—I push aside the pain in my chest—she’ll be able to make that choice for herself once we’re away from this place.
But I can’t get us out of here in the next few hours, so the immediate problem is unchanged.
With one more glance at Lilli’s sleeping form, I turn and race back down the hall toward Dreyer, distantly listening to the card game keeping the rest of my men busy in the lounge. “May we borrow your room again?” I whisper.
Dreyer arches one brow at me, her arms crossed over her chest. “You can have the damn room. If she wants to be in there with you.”
“She does. She just won’t admit it.”
“That’s not for you to assume.”
“I’m not— We’re beyond that now, Dreyer,” I whisper. “If I don’t give Brennan what she wants, she’s going to lock Lilli in there with one of the other guys.”
Dreyer snorts. “And you’re afraid of the competition?”
“That’s not it. The way Brennan explained it, Lilli’s body is responding to pheromones my body is putting out. She’s basically in heat. And her scent has triggered pheromone output in both Zamora and Coleman. It’s nobody’s fault, but Brennan’s going to exploit the whole clusterfuck so she can breed Lilli, and if it’s not going to be me, it’s going to be one of them.”
“And you think that if anyone should get to breed Lilli against her will, it should be you? Is that what you’re telling me, Captain?” She blinks up at me with big brown eyes, and I groan. Dreyer’s always had this way of rephrasing things, when she doesn’t agree with me, so that I can hear just how ridiculous I sound. She calls it argumentum ad absurdum, but she laughs when she says that, so I’m not even sure whether or not she’s joking.
“No, Lieutenant. What I’m saying is that I don’t trust either Zamora or Coleman to be able to control themselves, locked alone in a room with a woman who smells…well, like sex dipped in chocolate.” To quote Lilli. “They haven’t had the past week to practice self-control like I have. And if Brennan puts one of those damn capsules in their arms… I can’t let that happen to Lilli.”
“Even if that means you have to happen to her?”
“Don’t you think that’s the lesser evil?” I growl, tired of debating something she clearly can’t understand.
Dreyer blinks up at me, and I know before she even speaks that she’s just going to turn my own question back at me. “Is that what Lilli would think, Captain? If you were to…oh, I don’t know…let her choose
? As ridiculous as that probably sounds to you right now?”
I suck in a deep breath, trying to control my temper. “What would you think, if this were happening to you?”
“Captain, you seem to have forgotten how many times I’ve been stuck in that room with men I didn’t want to fuck. This has happened to me.”
“I have not forgotten that. Nor have I forgotten that Lilli spent two years in that very position at the Resort. This shouldn’t happen to her again,” I snap, and Dreyer looks horrified.
“Sorry. I didn’t realize. But that doesn’t really change anything. If Brennan’s going to make her do it, shouldn’t she at least get to choose who’s locked in there with her?”
I think about that for a second. “What would you choose?”
“Between you, Zamora, and Coleman?” She shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. I’d rip the balls off anyone who doesn’t hear ‘no’ when I say it.”
“I’m afraid she doesn’t have your skill set. And Brennan isn’t going to take no for an answer.”
“Well then, Captain, it looks like you have a decision to make. And the only advice I have for you is to keep the beast on a leash.”
“That is the plan.”
Dreyer heads into her room and grabs one of the pillows from the bed, as well as an open MRE from the nightstand. “Are you gonna tell Zamora and Coleman?” she whispers as she brushes past me into the hall.
I shake my head. “If this goes well, they never need to know what Brennan was going to do to them.”
Dreyer tosses her pillow onto the cot in the first empty cell. The one across from Lilli’s. “Good luck,” she whispers. Then she plops down on her cot, leaning against the wall, propped up on her pillow.
18
CARSON
I take a deep breath. Then I step into Lilli’s room and sit on the edge of her cot. “Lilli. Petal, wake up.”
Instead, she rolls toward me and throws one arm around my waist, without ever opening her eyes. As if she subconsciously expects me to be next to her while she sleeps. “Lilli.” I brush hair back from her face, and she presses her head up into my palm, like a kitten begging to be petted. And that’s all I can take.
I stand up and slide one arm behind her shoulders and the other beneath her knees. Then I carry her down the hall into Dreyer’s room. Lilli’s eyes squeeze shut even tighter when the light from the hallway shines on her. She turns toward me and burrows into my shoulder, sliding her arms around my neck. But her eyes never open. Not even when I lay her on the double bed.
My scent and voice aren’t startling her awake, like a stranger’s would. Or even like a friend’s probably would. Instead, she seems subconsciously comforted by my presence. Which makes me feel a little better about what I’m about to do.
The bed still smells like Dreyer, but I’m not going to wake Lilli up to change the sheets. Instead, I cover her with a blanket, then I take off my shirt and slide beneath the covers next to her. Again, she turns toward me and burrows into my shoulder, throwing her leg over my hip. Then she settles into a sleep so deep I don’t have the heart to wake her.
She’s exhausted. Some of that may be from her body’s extended preparation for conception. Some of it is probably from fighting the same draw that I spend every second trying to resist. So that she doesn’t hate me.
But we’re beyond that now.
Still, I’ll let her sleep for a while. Maybe if I lie here with her, being surrounded by my scent while she dreams will let her associate pleasant things with me, instead of her own fear of getting pregnant. Of being forced to give birth in a lab and having her child ripped from her arms by a team of scientists.
I’ll never let that happen. I just need to get Brennan off our backs, so we can plan our escape in peace.
I let her sleep as long as I dare, counting the minutes in silence as I lie next to her. Until my fear of a ticking of a clock I can’t see becomes too much. I can’t risk missing Brennan’s deadline.
“Lilli.” I pull the covers back, letting cool air into our cocoon, and she groans as she tries to pull them back up. “Lilli. Petal, wake up.” I run my hand through her hair again, then down her chin. Over her shoulder and down her arm. I can’t stop touching her.
My cock is already hard, and I hate myself for that. But I can’t help it.
She’s wet. Even asleep. I can smell it. And I hate Brennan for this. For turning me into this. Into the monster that turned Lilli’s body against her.
I wish I’d met her under normal circumstances. I wish I could have taken her to dinner. Bought her a drink. I wish I could have kissed her good night and wanted her all night long, alone in my bed. But not badly enough to kidnap her. To scare the crap out of her.
Finally, as I stroke my way down her arm again, forcing my hands to stay in neutral territory, her eyes flutter open. “Carson.” She smiles. “I missed you.” She sounds groggy—still half asleep—but the beast doesn’t care.
That thrumming begins again, and this time I can’t stop it.
Lilli groans, and her hand slides down her stomach, over her clothes, until she cups herself, trying to ease the ache, her eyes still half-closed.
Then she blinks. Her gaze focuses and her hand freezes. “Carson? What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I keep my voice low and steady, but that sound rumbles through the word.
Lilli blinks again, and I can see her trying to focus through a brutal wave of lust. Her scent holds a thin thread of anger bobbing in a sea of need, and I can see her grasping for that anger. Clinging to it like a life raft to keep her from slipping beneath the surface. From drowning in her desire for me.
“Get out of my—” She pushes herself upright, finally noticing where she is. “No. No! I told you to stay away.”
“Shhh…” I stroke one hand down her arm again, and I can see her effort to resist. To keep from pressing herself up into the touch. “I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to. I’m just asking you to stop pushing me away. Please. I can’t think about anything else, and I know you can’t either. This isn’t going to end until…”
I can’t say it.
“Until we make a baby? Yeah, that’s what Dr. Brennan said this morning. But that’s not going to happen.”
“You cry out for me in your sleep,” I whisper, nuzzling into her hair with my nose. Brushing her ear with my lips. “You’re wet for me all day long. Every day. I can smell it. So can everyone else. You’re fighting it so hard that your body is exhausted.”
“Shut up. Just don’t…” Her hand tightens around my bicep, and for a second I can’t tell whether she’s going to push me away or pull me closer. “Carson, this isn’t fair.”
“I know. And I’m so sorry. If I knew how to make this stop, I would. I want you, above and beyond all this biochemical shit. I want nothing more than to know whether the same is true for you, but I can’t tell that, as long as we’re both in the grip of whatever this is.”
“Mating frenzy. That’s what she called it. It’s a biological compulsion. Because of the beast’s need to procreate. Because of you!” She shoves me back, then she crawls backward across the bed, away from me, until her spine hits the wall, and the chill of the metal through her thin shirt seems to cut through some of the lust-haze.
“I didn’t… Lilli, this isn’t what I want either. Brennan did this to me. And if we don’t give her what she wants, she’s going to do something even worse to you.”
“There is nothing worse!” She scrambles off the end of the bed, and instead of following her, I hunch over the pain in my gut, clutching at the covers. Breathing in her scent, even as the knife wielded by her tongue cuts right through me. Straight and deep.
“There is nothing worse for you than me?”
“Not you, Carson. I like you. But I can’t let you do this.”
I sit up to find her clutching at her stomach, the material of her shirt wadded up in her left hand. Tears standing in her eyes. She heads for the door, and I’m
off the bed in an instant, cutting off her escape. “Please don’t run from me Lilli. If it’s not me, it’ll be someone else. If you keep pushing me away, Brennan’s going to lock you in here with one of my men, and I don’t know if they’ll be able to resist you. Because your body is putting off…signals.”
“Oh, fuck,” Coleman breathes, and I turn to see him standing in the doorway, with Zamora and Lawrence peering over his shoulder. Jamison stands apart from them, watching us through the wall, his face twisted up with empathetic agony. Though I don’t know if he’s sharing my pain or Lilli’s.
“Get out!” I roar at them all.
“Captain…” Zamora looks serious for once, glancing from me to Lilli, then back, but all the beast hears is—
Competitor. Kill him.
“Go!” I shout, and on the edge of my vision, Lilli flinches.
“I’m sorry.” I turn back to her. “I swear to god I’m trying to protect you.”
“Tell him,” Jamison says, as he retreats down the hall, the last to go. “Lilli, you have to tell him.”
“Tell me what?” I turn back to her, and there are tears standing in her eyes.
Comfort her.
But I don’t even know why she’s upset. The pain radiating off her feels…aged. As if it stretches into her past, from long before she met me.
“Lilli. Tell me what?” I cross the room toward her slowly, unable to resist the compulsion to touch her. To comfort her
“It doesn’t matter.”
But it clearly does. Even if Burke weren’t sure of that—and he’s never wrong—she’s crying.
“Petal…”
She flinches back from me—until the second I touch her arm. The instant my skin touches hers, she just seems to…melt against me. Her arms slide around me and her head tucks into the hollow of my shoulder.
Escape (Project Vetus Book 1) Page 21